Too Old for This Sh*t… Or Not
By Yuvi Zalkow | January 7, 2025 |
Even though I wrote and published two novels and some short stories over the past fifteen years, I’ve actually been trying to finish a different novel for almost two decades. At this point, I think I’m finally getting close to the finish line. Though, after 17 years and who knows how many drafts, it’s hard to know if I’ll ever be done with it.
Before I get to the actual point of this post, I need to explain a few other things going on in my life right now. I’ve been helping my parents as they deal with some mental and physical issues. I’m also raising a teenage kid who brings home all kinds of new fads and phrases that I’m awkwardly trying to keep up with. I’m also becoming one of the older people at my day job in the tech industry as I step into the mid-50s of my life.
With all this stuff going on, I’ve been thinking a lot about age, and aging, and what sort of attitude I’d like to have as I grow older, and as I try to (maybe possibly hopefully please for the love of…!@#$!@#%) get to the finish line of this multi-decade novel manuscript.
Ideally, I want to capture some of the energy and passion I had as a younger writer. And some of the wisdom and experience of an older writer. But I also want to avoid the arrogance I’ve ocassionally seen in both younger and older writers. Like the way, when I was younger, I spent all that time dreaming of fame and fortune, or the way, as I grow older, I occassionally act like I’ve got it all figured out.
A phrase that comes to mind as I process all this is when someone says, “I’m too old for this shit!” I hear it sometimes as a complaint, or sometimes as a way to show off about seniority. I’m not saying that this phrase shouldn’t ever be used (sometimes it’s a genuinely funny line to say), but it’s just that I don’t want to complain (or show off) about where I’m at. I know that age is sometimes a factor in a decision, but either way, I want to consider the situation, and then decide how to proceed.
Anyway, I put together a video back in October where I think about the novel that I’m writing alongside my thoughts about aging. (You’ll have to forgive the dated-ness of one small reference to the “forthcoming” election.)
Click HERE to view on YouTube.
How about you? What elements do you want to capture (or avoid) about a younger or older writer?
Yuvi Zalkow is the author of the novel I Only Cry with Emoticons (Red Hen, 2022) as well as A Brilliant Novel in the Works. His stories and essays have been published in Catapult, Narrative Magazine, Carve Magazine, Rosebud, The Los Angeles Review, and others. Yuvi received an MFA from Antioch University. He uses his poor drawing skills to make YouTube videos and mobile apps that ooze with his worries and anxiety.
Thanks, Yuvi, for the laughs and the mindset adjustment. Trying to stay mindful without that cringe vibe I got from my mom when she went through her “trying to stay hip” phase, when she donned “slacks” and started decoupaging mod flowers on every unused household surface (how’s that for an old fart reference?).
I’m rooting for you to finish, as I will certainly be one of those who is eager to read as soon as the book is available. I’m certain it will provide an agelessly wise experience.
Great to hear from you, Vaughn! And I love the specific memories about your mom… I have some similar memories with my parents, and I’ve definitely attempted (in my own awkward way) a “trying to stay hip” phase… until I saw the look in my kid’s eyes. 😜
(Also, I’m so out of touch that I just realized that the second book in your series is out! Cool! Just ordered it!)
Thanks for the kinds words. Chat soon…
I agree with your ideas here, how age brings different perspectives. My novel-in-progress deals with finding significance in life in later years, so I am keen to consider how age impacts life and the art that tries to capture it. Thanks! (And love the title of your book, will check it out!)
Thanks so much, Brenda! Sounds like an interesting novel that you’re working on!
Loved the video.
I get it.
Now finish the book!
Thanks for watching the video, Anne. And thanks for the nudge! 😜 Hope the writing is going well for you!
Oh, boy, are you in my head, Yuvi? I too, have a historical that I’ve not finished. I think this is the year I’ll do it. Because this time next year I could be a grandmother (my daughter just got married), and I know how distracting babies are. I’m turning 60 and have been at this writing thing for 23 years now. Like you, I crave the abandonment of youth (I was in my late 30s when I started writing so there was never a chance of me ever being a great writer before turning 30) though I don’t think I’m wiser… hmmm, my cats think I’m pretty cool though :)
Happy New Year, Yuvi. It’s great to know there are others who have novels that won’t go away, that are hard, decades in the making. Perhaps we could write a book about how NOT to write a novel, thereby procrastinating even more on the novel.
Hi Vijaya! Good to hear from you. Ha! Maybe we both need to finish our historical novels this year!… 😜 Wish you the best, at the writing and with the family and with everything else. Take care!
Hi Yuvi! Loved your post and thoroughly related to it. I’m 67 and still can’t believe I’m on Medicare. Since 2003, I’ve trad-published 18 books and indie-pubbed three.
What I miss about being a younger writer: the drive, the ambition, the challenge.
What I love about being an older writer: the peace, no hair-raising deadlines, afternoon naps.
What I dislike about being an older writer: the lack of drive, the need for that afternoon nap.
I refuse to be cliched and say things like, “You’re as old as you feel” or “You’re never too old.” I just don’t think those things are true. I’m definitely too old to be setting my alarm for 4 am and writing two hours before going to a day job. Nor will I say, “It’s never too late to ____ (fill in the blank).” Our abilities change over the years. Some decline. Others evolve. Sometimes they push us forward, and sometimes they hold us back.
I will say, “Go for it while you can and still want to.” I hope you finish that book and that it brings you the satisfaction of a job well done.
PS. Loved the thought bubbles in the video :) All very familiar!
Hi Victoria — I LOVE your list about older and younger writers! Thanks for sharing those insights… I relate to so much of it (even though I still can’t pull off an afternoon nap 😜). And I really like the idea of going for it while you can and while you want to. Recently I’ve really begun to appreciate the importance of asking “what do I WANT to do?”… Anyway, take care, and enjoy the writing!
Oh, aging! The only thing worse than being an aging writer (what the heck was that character’s name again?) is being a menopausal female aging writer. I was first published at 49, and in the past 13 years and 17 books, I’ve seen a lot of changes, and I swear each one takes five extra years off your life. Whatever I’m working on seems to go out of fashion—historical romance 6 or 7 years ago, and historical fiction now, at least according to my beloved agent who is having trouble interesting jaded publishers in anything that’s not romantic or magical realism. Pivot, she says. Again. Not sure if I’m dizzy from early dementia or all the pivoting. Square one is my natural home. I have always written because I love it. It’s who I am. Yet the pressures of keeping up on sales, doing my own cool and unique publicity tricks, watching what the market wants me to write, and trying to stay hip not just to my kids but to younger readers on all those cool new social media platforms that feel like such a long learning curve to an aged scribe is exhausting. Now it’s not just second guessing whether anyone is going to like my latest book idea, but if I’m too old to appeal to 30-something editors, and readers who only want heroines young enough to be my daughter. Yet writing and our creativity keeps us young, right? The alternative is unthinkable!
Really cool to hear your perspective, Lecia!! I get pretty dizzy myself just thinking about market trends 😜, but I think you nailed the essential element that keeps me doing it as well, and it’s the love of writing. OK, sometimes it’s not quite “love”… maybe some days it’s more of a fascination or a curiosity or an inability to look away, but still… Anyway, thanks for sharing your story! Happy writing.
Yuvi, you make me smile. And as a writer who keeps getting rejected, I need that smile and words of encouragement! Thanks.
Thanks for the kind words, Beth. Yeah, I’m definitely familiar with rejection… I was just cleaning out an old drawer and recycled hundreds of rejection letter back from when the rejections were actual physical pieces of paper… 😜 I had no idea that I held onto so many rejections! Anyway, happy writing!
Love your videos Yuvi and enjoyed your first book, so I do hope you finish it before this old lady is no longer around to read it.
And speaking of being old – yes I am, and I’ve thought about not writing any more, but then the people start talking to me again.
What age has brought to me is a little slower pace with the writing, as well as wisdom I didn’t have as a young columnist who didn’t take life seriously. I wrote a humor column.
I don’t try to be hip or with it. Things in society and the way people interact change so quickly I can’t keep up, but I do know it’s no longer cool to say cool, so I try to avoid having a character say that.
Thanks for sharing, Maryann. I can tell that I already really dig your writing voice from your post. (Oh, using the word “dig” is probably a few decades out of date! 😜) Anyway, I can relate about the thoughts of not writing… I’ve supposedly quit writing a half dozen times, but just as I think I’ve quit, the stories float back into my head… Enjoy the writing, and stay cool! 😜
Thanks for sharing this post, Yuvi. You made me laugh (several times). I’m a little older than you and I’m acutely aware of the ever-widening age gap between me and the majority of the population. I get that feeling when I stand in front of my college-age journalism students and say “You all remember Sept. 11,” and then I realize that none of my students were even born when it happened. On the other hand, we older writers have lots of life experience to draw from to enrich our stories. I enjoyed your essay and wish you the best on your publishing journey,
Thanks for the comment, Chris. Yeah, I do find it interesting the different assumptions we make from different generations… I think about that a lot when some of my jokes don’t quite work… 😜
Wish you the best in your writing!
Yuvi, I was a dweeb in high school, a dweeb in college, and I demand the respect due an elder dweeb today. Even without my ear trumpet, I can hear those kids TikToking all over my lawn, and my savage (if saggy) look is enough to drive them off.
I am working on another memoir—the refuge of old crustacean writers who now feel the right to lie with impunity—now, and I will publish it this year. Unless I forget. Loved the video!
Thanks for the post, Tom! I love that term… “elder dweeb”! Wish you the best on the memoir!
The advantage of being an older writer (and taking forever to get something finished) is that you really know what you’re talking about AND its consequences.
The younger writers are just guessing.
Characters and plots have more depth – because you do, and more experience, ditto.
Take the win.
Hi Alicia — Yeah, I definitely appreciate the added life experience that comes with growing older…. even if I miss the immortality from some of those earlier years 😜 Thanks for sharing.
Relatable. Funny. So close to home. Thanks for writing and recording the post!
Thanks, Chris! Videos are my therapy when I’m avoiding writing… 😜 Wish you the best with your writing.
Yuri,
It does this old heart good to see I’m not the only AARP-eligible writer still struggling to take myself and my work seriously. Sometimes I feel like chucking it all, but it’s too late to get a grown-up job — and I will not let down the team! Thanks. to you and everyone who added their stories to the discussion.
Thanks so much for the kind words, Christine! Yeah, I’m definitely getting those AARP letters in the mail these days… 😜 Hope you’re doing well!
Live long Yuri. Trust me. It’s the ultimate Extreme Sport. Writing a novel in less than a decade or two is the other. Trigger Warnings: You may not recognize yourself in the mirror when it’s over but curiosity and never say die are the ultimate weapons.
You are not too old, just to caught up in life at the moment–but I’ve said that more than once (and I’m at tad older than you since my kids are your age.) Just keep plodding along, doing what you can during the family drama. I should be saying I’m too old for this shit–but I’m not. It keeps me going and I’m enjoying (almost) every minute of it.
I agree with Torrie–you are doing the ultimate Extreme Sport. But 17 years isn’t really all that long. Now at 25 years….