Posts by Deanna Cabinian
I haven’t been writing a lot lately, but I recently discovered something about myself as a writer: I am no longer jealous of anyone’s success – small, medium, or big Hollywood-blockbuster-type success. I realized this a few weeks ago when talking to a former colleague.
She emailed and asked if she could call me since I’m a “writing expert.” Hah, I thought. If she only knew. To me, expert means multi-published (e.g. more than five novels), award-winning, movie deals, merch deals, theme-park-licensing deals, and more. But I said sure, I’d love to chat.
She told me about a book idea she’d had and asked about the different paths to publishing. She asked me about the publication process for my YA novel, One Night. I told her about the pros and cons of self-publishing vs. traditional, being agented, un-agented, and the long slog of the search.
At the end of our call I said, “I hope it all works out for you and that you see your book in print the way you want to see it.” The weird thing is, I meant it. It wasn’t a B.S. statement or fake nicety. I actually do want her to succeed, in whatever way she envisions. I hope people get to read her book someday and that the process is easy for her.
I’ve noticed my lack of jealousy when scrolling social media, too. I used to feel a pang – ok, sometimes it was a giant wallop in which I gritted my teeth – of envy everytime I saw a new deal announcement, a starred review, a twenty-year-old with a five-book deal so lucrative she would never have to work (and her offspring wouldn’t have to either). But now it doesn’t bother me. And I’m even happy for people.
Who is this person? Is this what growth looks like?
Three things have helped me overcome my jealous rage (and believe me, it was at times a rage lol):
1. Time. I think the passage of time puts everything into perspective. Unfortunately, the passage of it isn’t something we can control. And for me, it’s been about twenty years.
2. A change in goals. Would I like to be a multi-hyphenate author? Sort of. I would like to have multiple works published. And I would like as many interested parties to read them as possible.
But I do not envision myself to be the Taylor Swift of writing anymore (oh, the things eighteen-year-old me used to dream about). That level of fame, notoriety, and scrutiny is not something I want. I don’t think I want to be a full-time writer, either. I used to fantasize about tapping against a keyboard all day while sipping coffee, but honestly the idea of sitting at a desk all day, doing anything, is not what gets me energized anymore. Sometimes I think I’d rather be inspired, and write stories only for myself and my own personal enjoyment.
With time, and age I guess, I’ve realized it’s ok to change. To change your mind, yourself, and your feelings.
3. Focusing on other aspects of life. It is good to have a goal, and a laser-like focus when it comes to your writing career. But it can be all-encompassing in a negative way. I’m a firm believer […]
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Many stories have been written on the topic of obsession: The Girl on the Train, Lolita, Moby Dick…the list goes on. Most of these are cautionary tales. Don’t get obsessed; it could lead to mayhem and self-destruction. But sometimes obsession can be beneficial.
Recently, I watched the Adam Sandler movie Hustle. Though it has its humorous moments, it’s definitely in the “serious Adam Sandler movie” category. It’s about an NBA scout looking for a standout player so he can cement his status as a coach on the team after decades of work (often grueling with constant travel). He finds his prospect in Spain. As they’re training together he says, “Obsession beats talent every time.”
As a writer that line stood out to me. As a person it stood out, too.
Sometime in 2007 I got it in my head that I wanted to run a 5K. I had never done well in fitness testing in school. In fact, I often finished last in the mile run challenge. I once ran a 14-minute mile. For most people, that’s walking. I was not fast, even though I played team sports. But a 5K goal seemed achievable. Most of my family and friends thought I was nuts. Why would I want to run 3.1 miles? And time it? To this day, I have no idea. But I became obsessed with this goal.
I read Runner’s World. I found a plan called 5 weeks to your first 5K. I followed the plan, 90% of the time. I found a running buddy. And it worked. I ran the 5K and didn’t finish last. I ran several more after that. At my fitness peak, I even completed a half-marathon, a distance I have no desire to run again.
Why am I telling you this? Because it’s similar to our journeys as writers. I believe every writer is talented but certainly there are degrees of talent. The one thing that sets writers apart from the rest of the population who aspire to write a book, essay, magazine piece, etc. is that they sit down and do it. The words might be garbage on the first draft, but they just go for it. Time and time again.
If writing is important to you, it doesn’t matter how talented you are. It matters how interested you are, how often you throw words against the page. Handwritten, typed, or otherwise.
It matters how much you persevere, even when you don’t feel like writing a thing.
It matters if you put words to paper, even if it’s just 5 words a day or 3 words a year.
You are a writer because you show up. Showing up is the action part of the obsession. Over time that obsession will manifest itself into talent.
It’s why I’ve sent hundreds of query letters. (I eventually got an agent).
It’s why I’m writing even though I don’t necessarily feel like it. (I’m recovering from a breakthrough case of Covid).
So go ahead. Obsess sometimes. I think a little obsession is healthy for all of us. Sometimes it even improves your cardiovascular fitness.
Over to you, WU community. What do you think is more important: an obsession with writing, or talent? How do you know when something has become an obsession?
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For years (over a decade to be exact), I have been hanging on to a three-ring binder of rejection letters and emails I’ve received from agents and publishers. I’ve been hanging onto the folder as a reminder of what…I don’t know. The struggle, I guess. I’ve always had this vision of becoming a bestselling author and holding up the binder and saying, “Look at all the adversity I’ve encountered and I never gave up. You shouldn’t either.” I would picture the crowd gasping or crying tears of redemption on my behalf. I would tell everyone that no matter what, they could be a successful author, too, if they just kept at it. Everyone would be inspired by this long, hard road I’d gone down.
When I started my rejection compilation I had no idea it would take me fifteen years to land an agent. I’d always assumed that once I got a coveted agent everything would just fall into place. My first manuscript on submission would sell within a week and I’d become an NYT bestseller with a movie deal a year later. How naïve I was. Or maybe I was just a hardcore dreamer. My career has not played out that way. I self-published one of my YA series. But I have hung onto the binder. Until recently.
We have a small house, and during the last couple of weeks leading up to the birth of my daughter I tried to free up room wherever I could. A drawer here, a shelf there. One of the things that was taking up space was my large binder of paper rejections. Some were physical letters; some were emails I had printed out. I flipped through it once, remembering how excited I had been to receive something other than form letters – there were many but some included handwritten notes of encouragement. I had been in the query game so long that some of these agents had passed away or switched careers. I sighed and moved the binder to the garbage pile by the front door.
“Are you getting rid of your writing?” my husband asked. “Don’t do that. It’s important. Keep all of it.” He picked up the binder.
“It’s a book of rejections,” I said.
“Oh,” he said. “Yeah, toss it. We don’t need that bad energy.” He also added an “F them” which I appreciated.
The older I get the more I think there isn’t anything romantic about a hard struggle. It makes for a good story with some drama, but it doesn’t make someone’s journey more worthy than another’s. I don’t think it makes the win much more satisfying either. It just makes the waiting and wondering harder. Although since I haven’t had the big “win” I can’t tell you for sure.
I don’t know how long it will take for one of my manuscripts to sell to a traditional publisher. Or if I’ll ever tell audiences who come to see me about my hard luck story. Even though I still have a digital catalogue of my rejections (I have a spreadsheet tracking all of my submissions over the years), getting rid of the physical binder sort of felt like giving up on part of the dream (the part where I tell […]
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I used to think I wanted to be a full-time writer – that there would be nothing more wonderful than having the expanse of a day, day after day, to write. But the thing is, when I happen to have a lot of time on my hands, I do anything but write. I will clean until the cows come home, work out, or spend time with friends and family. But I will not sit down and crank out words. Case in point: I lost my job a couple of months ago. Suddenly I had a lot of time to just write if I wanted to. But I was expecting a baby and there was a ton of stuff to do to get ready for her. I barely wrote, even though I wanted to turn in a new draft of a middle grade manuscript to my agent. I spent my days cleaning baseboards, sanitizing doorknobs, and washing baby clothes.
Three weeks before my due date, however, I got the urge to write. I printed out pages, marked them up and made edits, and typed up the changes. I read through the MS again and made more edits based on my agent’s notes. I turned a revision in a few days later. It turns out when I’m pressed for time is when I make time to write.
The ironic thing is, when I was working full-time, I was able to squeeze writing in at a more manageable pace. Get up a half hour early to edit some pages? Sure. Write after dinner for twenty minutes? Yes! So why can’t I focus when I have ample time to write?
I think it’s a combination of things. Fear of failure is one. My middle grade manuscript is one that’ll eventually be on submission. I hope it goes somewhere and if it doesn’t, I know I’ll be disappointed. I start to wonder, how many manuscripts should I write before I throw in the towel? Am I wasting my time doing this? If I fail, was it all for nothing?
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A few months ago I told WU’s Therese Walsh that I wanted to write about writing while pregnant. It’s one thing to write when you’re feeling your best (or just feeling normal); it’s another thing altogether to write when you feel as if another being has taken over your body (it has). She challenged me to come up with an angle that would apply to the larger WU community. It took me a minute, but I think I’ve figured it out.
When you’re pregnant you get a lot of unsolicited advice. Even people who don’t have kids, who have never given birth, offer words of wisdom. People tell you what to eat, to exercise, or not to exercise, and that you should start planning for the next one. They tell you what to feed the baby, when to feed the baby, what kind of detergent to use on their clothes. Digesting all this advice has led me to get very good at deflecting conversations I don’t want to engage in.
We get all kinds of unsolicited advice as writers: what we should write, when we should write, and how we should approach our careers. Some of it comes from fellow writers, but a lot of it comes from individuals who have never attempted to write a few paragraphs.
The next time someone gives you unsolicited writing advice I challenge you to try these tactics that have worked for me as I’ve navigated the minefield that is pregnancy and baby advice. For example purposes, let’s say someone tells you to write the next Harry Potter. The next time you hear this, below are some responses for you to try:
Pretend you didn’t hear the person and change the subject. This tactic is a little rude, but effective. Instead of addressing the writing advice ask, “How’s [insert hobby of theirs] going?” Or say, “We’ve had [horrible/awesome/unexpected] weather, haven’t we?” Most of the time people will take the hint.
Bore them with facts and data until they change the subject. For example: did you know that over 2 million books are published every year? Statistically, even if I were to write the next Harry Potter it would have a 0.0005% chance of becoming a bestseller and turning into a theme park. My agent says…you get the idea. Just keep going until their eyes glaze over.
Please join us in welcoming new contributor and author Deanna Cabinian to Writer Unboxed!
Deanna Cabinian is the author of One Night, One Love, and One Try (aka The Thompson Series). She writes YA, middle grade, and sometimes dabbles in adult fiction. Her writing has appeared in Writer’s Digest, Writer Unboxed, and School Library Journal. She is a graduate of the Writing in the Margins mentorship program and is represented by Penny Moore of Aevitas Creative Management. When she isn’t writing she works as a consumer marketing director for a global media company.
Welcome, Deanna!
Four Writing Lessons From Binge-watching TV
Like many people, I binge-watched many shows in 2020—way more than I should have. It’s amazing how many hours I spent watching TV last year instead of writing. I binged comedies, dramas, and everything in between. Some of the shows I watched included: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Kingdom, Community, and The Queen’s Gambit. I even watched a Korean drama called Romance is A Bonus Book which was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen (typically I hate trying to follow subtitles, but the plot was so good it didn’t bother me). Watching these shows wasn’t a complete waste of time, however, as it reinforced the same writing lessons over and over.
Writing lessons learned from my 2020 binge-watching:
1. Establish a deep bench of compelling characters. Every show on the list above had a great main character, but also had equally fascinating supporting characters. If they weren’t fascinating, they at least had their own arc or provided comic relief (oftentimes both). Just like a single star player can’t carry an NBA basketball team, one interesting character is not enough to sustain a viewer’s (or reader’s) interest. Oftentimes if there’s only one good character they start to come off as indulgent or worse, boring. If your manuscript is boring you, maybe it needs a quirky sidekick or a ruthless, overbearing character.
2. Reveal characters’ traits, backstory, and motivations through action instead of words. In Kingdom, for example, we don’t find out the Kulina brothers’ mother has a history of drug use until Jay, the older brother, visits her one night in a seedy part of town. The viewer sees she is addicted to drugs and working as a prostitute. Showing Kristina (mom) in her current environment packs a much bigger emotional punch than merely stating Mom is out of the picture because of XYZ. Similarly, the best reveals in novels are through actions vs. the characters telling us.
3. End each episode (or chapter) on a cliffhanger. Romantic comedies are great at this. The long-lost ex showing up at the last minute. Someone presumed dead is actually alive. A character with a dark secret is not actually evil and has a good reason for keeping said secret. Romance is a Bonus Book was great at this. This show is also set in the publishing world which makes it extra compelling for writers. Try to end chapters in a way that leaves the reader thinking, OMG what will happen next? You always want readers to be flipping to the next page.
4. Add an element of the unique, weird, or curious.
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Photo by Tormod Ulsberg, Flickr’s CC
Please welcome Deanna Cabinian as our guest today. Deanna is a marketing director who lives in the Midwest, but dreams of living by the ocean. When she isn’t working or writing she enjoys traveling and spending time with her husband and their Havanese dog, Cuba. One Night, her debut YA novel, is out now.
Giving author talks is important not only in terms of promoting books, but also good life experience to have. As an author I figure any experience that pushes me out of my comfort zone a bit is potentially good fodder for my novels.
Connect with Deanna on her blog, on Facebook, and on Twitter.
How to Prepare for a TED-style Author Talk in Less Than 10 days
When an event organizer contacted me to fill in for a last-minute cancellation who was supposed to give a TED-style author talk as part of a weeklong writing festival at a local high school I panicked. There was no way I could pull off a talk like that in less than 10 days. That was the sort of thing that took months to prepare for, possibly a year. I was worried because this would be the largest crowd I’d ever addressed. There would be at least 200 people in attendance but there could be up to 500. Plus I had to be onstage for 35-40 minutes. Since the crowd would be made up of high school students the odds were good that I’d connect with some of my target audience there: teens who love John Green novels. Even though the thought of this speaking opportunity scared me, I knew in my heart that I had to do it. What I did to pull it off and how you can, too:
Watch other TED talks for inspiration. Understand your talk probably won’t leave people with as big of a “wow” feeling due to the time crunch you’re under, however, make a note of which talks capture your attention and why. Try to bring some of that X factor to your own presentation. The talks I gravitated toward included some very personal stories so I knew I had to include some in my own talk.
Make a quick list of all the possible story lines you can tell about yourself as a writer. Keep each story to one sentence/phrase. My ideas were:
I decided to go with a combination of the last two ideas because they were the most upbeat and inspirational. It also had a natural narrative arc.
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