Yes, It Is Possible to Write a Novel With Small Children Hanging On You
By Guest | April 26, 2011 |
Therese here. Today’s guest is Sarah Jio, whose debut novel, The Violets of March, releases today! The book has already gained national and international attention–it will be published in Germany and Spain, and has been chosen as a Target “Emerging Author” pick. Redbook magazine called the story “engrossing,” and Jodi Picoult said of the novel, “Mix a love story, history, and a mystery and what takes root? The Violets of March, a novel that reminds us how the past comes back to haunt us, and packs a few great surprises for the reader along the way.” Sarah, who is not only a contributor to magazines like Real Simple and Glamour, is also a busy mom. I’m thrilled she’s with us today to tell us how she juggles momhood with everything else. Enjoy!
Yes, It Is Possible to Write a Novel With Small Children Hanging On You
Today my debut novel, The Violets of March, debuts from Penguin (Plume), and I wish I could tell you that I wrote it in a quiet, organized, peaceful office with classical music playing in the background and an inspired vase of daffodils on my desk. Um, no. I pretty much wrote this book—and my next ones, more on that below—with children hanging on me. Let me paint a picture for you: 4 year old nagging for a snack at my right, a 2 year old drooling on my contract for my next novel at my left (oops—hope my agent didn’t notice the smeared type on page 4!), and a newborn on the brink of a meltdown in the bouncer seat at the base of my desk. That’s the general state of the union in my home, and I learned early on as a mom that if I couldn’t embrace the chaos and just write, I’d never get a book published.
I wrote The Violets of March when I was pregnant with my second son, and I wrote an entire first draft in the second trimester of my pregnancy. (Strangely, I get really creative in the second trimesters–which is a topic for another post!) I signed with my agent after the baby came and literally worked on revisions while my baby lay in his bouncer seat in my office. I’d bounce his little chair while I typed, and work on the draft more after he and his brother were tucked away in bed for the night. It was totally nuts for a while, and I remember getting a cramp in my foot from bouncing that little seat so much, but it worked. Baby was happy. I got writing done. Toddler played cars at my feet. Of course, I had help now and then—the occasional babysitter, a generous mother who loved spending time with her grandbabies, and a supportive husband. But I still tried to eke out a bit of writing time in my days, even when I was the only one on duty.
After my first son was born, I trained myself to write in tiny increments. All writers know this is very hard—and very annoying to do. There’s nothing worse than getting started on a good scene only to be interrupted and lose your train of thought. But here’s the thing: I knew that if I just threw in the towel and said, ‘alright, this is too hard. I will never write a book,’ then I’d never do it. So if I got 20 minutes while a baby napped, I’d use it—or, heaven forbid, a full 55 while the 3-year-old watched Sesame Street!
I also used naptimes and evenings wisely—though I didn’t always want to. Really, the last thing you want to do after chasing kids around all day is to work, but I made it my business to sit down at my desk and put on my fiction hat every night while the boys were snoozing. Sometimes I was excited for this time, eagerly saying goodnight to the kids and rushing downstairs to my desk to write a scene I’d been thinking about all day; other times it was drudgery, dragging my tired self into my office and forcing out 1,000 words. But I kept at it, and eventually I had a novel.
I just welcomed my third baby boy, Colby, in January and while managing three kids is pretty crazy, I’m determined to keep at the book stuff. I recently sold my second novel, The Bungalow, again to Penguin (to be published in April 2012) and am hard at work on my third. But, I’ll be honest: I do daydream about a little peace and quiet and the year 2016, when my kids will, um, all be in school. By then, however, I may be so used to working with screaming and yelling in the background that I’ll probably actually miss the craziness.
Gotta run. The 4-year-old just whacked the 2-year-old and the baby is fussing. You know.
Thanks for a great post, Sarah! Readers, you can learn more about Sarah and The Violets of March on her website, or follow her on Twitter. And you can watch the trailer for Sarah’s debut here. Enjoy!
Photo courtesy Flickr’s Alex Barth
Many thanks to today’s guest.
You can read more WU guest posts by visiting this link.
So inspiring and energizing – happy launch day, Sarah! Can’t wait to get my hands on your lovely book, and congrats on all the honors so far & no doubt yet to come!
I really enjoyed this interview! I actually started writing in earnest when my oldest was a newborn and I wanted something to fill naptimes. Got very serious about it when the youngest was born. Yes, it’s hard to balance writing and mommying, especially when I don’t want to give either one short shrift, but it’s definitely manageable. And, like Sarah, I wouldn’t give up either for the world!
Best of luck to you, Sarah!
Oh how I can relate to this! Naptime, nighttime, kids-are-playing-with-toys-time, little snippets here and there is really the only way I get words on paper. In fact, right this very minute, my twins are climbing in cardboard boxes. Thank God for cardboard boxes, I say!
Anyway, thank you for putting a little more light at the end of my tunnel. Yes, this can be done.
Happy book launch, Sarah! Your story is mine almost exactly–I started writing my book in the 2nd trimester of being pregnant with my oldest, sold the trilogy on her first birthday, wrote the entire third book while pregnant with my youngest . . . thanks for reminding me I’m not alone in the happy craziness of writing with wee ones underfoot!
Well done! I know what you mean about the kids, but I think a little bit of pressure can do wonders. If I had tons of free time to write I probably wouldn’t get much done…. maybe i’m just odd
Congratulations on your launch, and thanks for an inspiring post!
It’s easy for us all to forget that before ANY successful novelists became successful, they had the exact same challenge we all face: fitting their writing around their “real” life. Thanks for some smart and practical tips on how you “embrace the chaos and just write!”
I’m impressed. Reading your experience writing amidst all the chaos makes me realize that I might be a little too exacting about my writing time. I sigh heavily and complain when anyone walks into my office. I smile tightly and wait until I’m alone again, because I’ve told myself that good writing can only be done solo. Well, not for you! Nice work. Your book sounds like a great read. Can’t wait to get my hands on it!
Hats off to you, Sarah. :)
Now every time I have an excuse to postpone/delay my writing, a picture of a Mom writing with three kids going nuts around her will present itself to me. You put all my excuses to shame.
Thank you for being such a great inspiration.
Wish you the very best.
Raj
Congrats on your Book Launch! Your powers of concentration and multitasking should be bottled for those of us who only dream of ways to embrace the chaos. I go nuts when I can hear Sponge Bob quietly drifting from another room and can barely focus when my Kiddo is home from school.
Which reminds me…child in school, husband at the office…I should be writing and must get off the internet.
Congratulations again and I look forward to reading The Violets of March soon.
Thank you for this post! It’s my dream to be a mother and a writer (I write, but with no kids). I’ll admit, that dream always intimidated me. It’s good to get some encouragement
Loved your post, Sarah, and congratulations on your debut! I ordered after reading the first chapter–loved the line about the end of marriage smelling like burned eggs and Tabasco!
I too have to drag myself to write–when I’m not in the mood to–after I put my son to bed. I just want to curl up with a good book. But I’m always glad I park my tush in the chair.
Congrats again!
Congratulations – and thank you. So nice to know someone else is going through this, especially the part about writing in five and twenty minute increments. Let alone working through the drool.
Congratulations, Sarah! Yes, it’s so important to learn to work within those short pauses. And you may be right about missing the craziness — this is my first year with all four kids in school, and I find myself trying to create noise/distractions to get the writing to flow ;)
Can’t wait to check out your lovely book~
Thank you for this post! I can sooo relate. In fact, my kids are watching Elmo as I type. :)
Congratulations on your release!
Love it, Sarah. Thanks for sharing. I am just a tiny bit beyond those crazy days myself and I am so impressed that you’ve been able to accomplish so much. Hats off to you on your big day and I can’t wait to read your book.
Happy Launch Day, Sarah.
Like you and so many others, I starting writing seriously when my son was an infant. I treasure the days when I have a huge chunk of writing time–anything over an hour. But I must say I’ve come to appreciate the interruptions. They recharge my creativity and sometimes they are the space I need to come back to the page with an objective eye.
Thanks for the inspiration. Write on and write strong, whenever that may be.
Goes to show if you want something enough you’ll make it happen.
I love that my son has a favorite movie. When I turn it on he won’t move until I turn it off. It helps on those days when nothing else will
Sarah, this is amazing. Good for you for realizing that it’s better to do it however ya can than not do it at all — the trap so many people fall into! A perfect example of the how-to’s I’m looking at in my new blog series, *women creating success* https://veronicas-nap.com/backstory/women-creating-success-therese-walsh/
I’ll repeat what the other moms said…I totally relate! I also have three kids (they’ve now crept up in age to seven, five and three– how did that happen??).
I wish I could adopt your snippets philosophy, but it never seems to work for me. I need an at least an hour! So, I go with the Sleepless in Mommyland philosophy. It amazes me how little sleep I need. My pre-children self would swoon at the thought of multiple nights of the five hour snooze!
Congrats on your release! How exciting, and inspiring to frazzled moms everywhere!
Very impressive! A great post about writing in small increments; when my kids were young, I didn’t get nearly as much done as you do!
Credentials limited – I am a man with a 17 year old son, but I was a high school teacher for 13 years. Well done everybody; I am in awe.
A suggestion. Saviour every moment with your children because as important as the writing is, 17 years goes past like a click of the fingers. It might not seem like it at 0230 in the morning at the moment, but when they start talking of college, joining the military and marriage you will wonder where those years have gone and you can’t have them back. :)
Good luck with the books.
LOL adorable post, and so inspiring. Makes me feel spoiled… All I’ve got bothering me all day is my dog, the dishes, and the laundry. Where does all my time go again??
You are an inspiration, and I love the book trailer! I look forward to reading VIOLETS. Best of luck in all of your endeavors.
I always joke that I wrote my dissertation during Sesame Street, but it wasn’t really a joke. Writing in little snippets was all I had. That was back in ’95 when I had a Gateway 2000 computer the size of a hardcover and two kids under 4. At least the internet couldn’t distract me then :)
Fast forward 10 years and my fourth child is toddler and I have this crazy idea to write novels while he naps!
Congrats on the launch, Sarah!
I’m a big fan of writing in tiny increments, and it’s good to hear this can be done in case I ever have kids! So far, the worst I have to deal with is a cat, who’s content to play in short bursts and then let me write when I need to or perfectly fine sleeping on my lap.
Congrats on the kids and the books and getting things done! Even if you’re busy, you sound fulfilled.
“I knew that if I just threw in the towel and said, ‘alright, this is too hard. I will never write a book,’ then I’d never do it.” So true! Thanks for the honest and inspiring post! Also, I just got the Kindle version of “The Violets of March” and am already engrossed :)
Sarah,
Every word of this essay made me smile. I love your spirit and your determination, but also the sensitive heart that comes through of how much you love being a mom and raising your boys.
I can relate to all of this … my first book was written in the stolen minutes, too — naptimes and during the brief episodes entertained by the electronic babysitter. But now, as I sit and type as my 3 boys are in school, I must say — I don’t really miss the chaos. :o) The memories are treasured, but a little quiet is a much-appreciated gem now.
So very excited to read your work, and so glad for your friendship. Writer-moms of 3 boys have to stick together!
Congrats,
Jennifer
Lovely book trailer with great music and beach scenes. The book sounds like it’s just as cool!
Patti
Three books in two years with three kids–I don’t know how Sarah does it!
Wow, I needed this! I have two kids, one of whom is a 16-month-old who rarely sleeps. At the moment I seem to get a lot of writing done in small increments. Since my youngest was born, I’ve written the first draft of a novel, published a short story, maintained a blog, written a free ebook, and coauthored The 31-Day Better Writing Habits Challenge for writers. Still, I long for an entire hour at a time when I can sit down and focus solely on my writing.
We’d love to have more children, but I figured I’d have to put my writing on hold for a few years if we do. Your experience has shown me it can be done, and I’m excited for the challenge.
Looking forward to reading your book!
Thank you for the inspiring message. I am awed by your persistence! Some days my toddler and the dog do nothing but whine at me and I wonder how I can get anything done. Yet, I think with anything, just continuing on will bring some form of success: plodding through early morning writing sessions and learning to focus more quickly and for quick bouts. Eventually all the small efforts create something…thank you for that reminder…
Congratulations on your book deals!! I look forward to reading them:)
[…] 250 words at a time: that’s what I say when some says, “I want to write a novel; tell me how.” Because that’s how I wrote The Art of Forgetting. My daughter was a baby and I was working part-time hours on a full-time schedule as a journalist, so I wrote in short spurts when I could, mostly at night and on the weekends. (Sarah Jio—whose novel, The Violets of March, is selling like hotcakes—recently wrote a great post about this on Writer Unboxed.) […]
HOW do you do it? How can you be inspired to write anything with 20 minutes in which to do it? I have a 5 year old and I teach preschool. I know firsthand that writing and children do not mix! I keep reading articles like this where a woman has 5 or 6 kids and is able to become a published writer after having a baby one month earlier. Yeah, right.