Choose Your Own Adventure
By Julie Duffy | July 16, 2021 |
Until I was 9 years old, my favorite part of the school day—the part when you could count on me sitting still, looking industrious, trying hard to be noticed for not standing out—was the five minutes before our morning playtime, lunch, and dismissal.
The reason for my desperate attempts to be good sat atop the bookshelf by the doorway between Mrs Thomas’s classroom and the grand staircase of the converted Victorian house that formed our school. The object of my ardor waited silently, gleaming brass with a dark wooden handle: the school bell.
Sometimes, if you were good, the teacher might pick you, at a random point in the day, to take the blackboard erasers out and bang them against the trunk of a stately pine, chalk dust ticking your nose amidst the unaccustomed quiet of the deserted, class-time grounds.
But grander still was being chosen to stand at the top of the two-story, wood-paneled staircase and, both hands holding the bell, signal freedom to your fellow grey-and-navy-clad inmates.
Of course, sometimes it didn’t matter how good I was. I could sit perfectly still on the worn wood of my desk’s bench, work finished, ink pen capped, head bent over approved reading material and still Mrs. Thomas would pick Rowan, a boy whose only qualification for this honor seemed to be that he had, for once, not shoved an eraser up his nose this morning.
As an adult I can see what the teacher was doing, but at the time it felt anything but fair. I was trying hard to be chosen by being good, just like they told us we should. And it was a shockingly unreliable route to success.
Waiting To Be Picked
As a writer can you relate?
Are you working away, head down, taking classes, honing your skills, telling yourself that if you just work hard enough someone will notice you? Pick you? Pick your book?
Gently, I’d like to remind you that success in this business is rarely fair or proportional to the amount of work we do (always assuming we’re doing enough work to produce finished pieces regularly enough to make progress.)
Most of you were probably like me as a kid: bookish, a dreamer, someone who sought refuge in books in part because the world in there was fair: bad guys were vanquished; heroes got their reward.
And so we carry on, in our bookish world, believing that the other folks here will be fair and unbiased and reasonable.
But commercial success has less to do with the quality of our writing, or whether or not it’s our ‘turn’. It has more to do with luck, timing, trends, connections and tenacity than we would like to believe.
So what’s a writer to do?
Choose Your Own Adventure
Stop waiting for someone else to pick you and tell you “you’re a success”.
That doesn’t mean you have to self-publish or become a networking machine, or change your style to fit some ‘more commercial’ genre.
Choosing your own adventure means defining success for yourself.
And don’t just create one version of success. Have multiple versions of what it looks like to succeed, based on your stage and your aims, and even the day of the week.
Sat at your desk today? Success!
Wrote 500 words? Success!
Introduced yourself to someone as ‘a writer’? Success?
Finished a piece? Got a rejection? Decided to admit you’re never giving up on your writing? Success! Success! Success!
Make Your Map
Here are some questions to help you define success on your own terms.
- What are my core values as a human?
- How do I feel when writing is going well?
- How does that look in the rest of my life? (Do I walk differently? Interact differently? Have more/less energy for others?)
- What do I fear when I think about my writing? When I write my fake obituary?
- What tiny action could I take each day, or each week, to change course and steer away from what I fear, while keeping one eye on it so it can’t sneak up on me? What tiny action will steer me towards my values and strengths?
- Does any of this require someone else to give me permission or anoint me ‘Writer’?
Yes, it’s nice when people notice us.
Yes, it’s nice when they pick us.
But just as the point of going to school was not ‘to be the one who got to ring the bell’ so the point of your writing is not ‘to be a New York Times bestseller’.
Reconnect to your purpose
Redefine your successes
Ring your own bell.
Discussion Qs
What does success look like for you, today, this week, this year?
How will you celebrate in the moment? (It could be as simple as smiling, taking a dance break or giving yourself a literal gold star.)
Julie Duffy is the founder and director of the creativity challenge StoryADay.org where she has blogged about the creative life and short stories since 2010. StoryADay is the host of annual short story writing challenges in May and September, year-round writing prompts, articles and community resources for creative inspiration. She regularly talks at writers’ groups and conferences about creativity and writing.
Hi, Julie. Thanks for such an inspirational post. I loved the list, especially number 5: “What tiny action could I take each day, or each week, to change course and steer away from what I fear, while keeping one eye on it so it can’t sneak up on me? What tiny action will steer me towards my values and strengths?” In response to your questions, for me, success would be to get my butt in the chair again and write. I have had a long spell without writing, due to a lot of external factors, and I need to get back into the daily habit. How would I celebrate? Maybe a smile and the satisfaction I will get from reading that day’s work. Thanks again, Julie, and I hope your summer is going well.
Oh Excellent. I think ‘butt in chair’ followed by a smile and a moment of focusing on the satisfaction, sounds like an excellent plan.
I look forward to hearing how it goes!
Re: butts and chairs. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (Berkeley), a group of science fiction writers used to meet monthly (I think) right in the middle of town. On my first visit, I met Poul Anderson. When I asked him how to get started, he said, “Apply the seat of the pants to the chair.”
Ha! That’s excellent.
And the more you do it, the more you realize why these experienced authors give what sounds like such basic advice. Because it’s true!
Julie, thank you. This was just what I needed this morning! I’ve been struggling with my next novel, thinking #5 should be easier and quicker than the previous 4… but also realizing that summer distractions are an equally important part of my best life (and may, eventually, provide the spark that WIP needs). Excuse me, I’ll going off on an adventure now…
That’s such a great insight. Trying to write #5 when you really want to out enjoying this once in a lifetime summer, is only going to make it harder.
What’s the point of being writers if we can’t set our own schedules a little, and work to our own rhythms?
Enjoy your adventures!
Man, did you say (or write) a handful. I just had a book proposal shot down by a publisher, one I’d assiduously worked on. Not my first rodeo, of course. Been published since I was nineteen, and now I’m 874.
But this business here? It has little to do with the quality of the writing, your flawless work ethic, or your story ideas. You can be as tenacious as a pit bull, and it won’t matter. It’s as though a window opens, and whatever face is in that window is the one that advances to the next round.
Meanwhile, I’d just like to keep a roof over my head.
So, thank you for the reminder that cheetahs have spots, and no amount of washing or lamenting will change that fact. Writers need to hear what we’re up against. We persist because the compulsion to write is so overwhelming, but compulsions of any sort don’t usually end well. And onward we go, slouching toward Bethlehem.
Oh I do hope yours is the face at the window soon.
It’s also important to remember, that you do need to keep peering in windows if you want to get picked ;)
But doing the work is my favorite bit (right up there with ‘getting paid for the work’) ;)
Thanks, Julie, I especially needed your column today….
I’m so glad it hit at the right time for you.
What’s your first ‘tiny win’ going to be? And how will you celebrate?
I’m in the query trenches right now, collecting ‘wallpaper’ along with some helpful feedback and and an ever-thickening skin, so your post is timely. But I think it would be timely at any stage in the process. This is a strange hard business on the one hand, but on the other, writing is a calling. We do it because it’s what we do.What fires me up is that I’m about to write draft 2 of book 2 (I’m writing a series) and despite hearing recently from an industry person that one shouldn’t write that second book (what if book 1 doesn’t sell, etc.) I’m going ahead because these are the stories I have to tell. So today, success, for me, looks like another session spent on book 2, then a few more queries out on book 1. Plus a float in the pool, a walk with my dog, and an episode of Downton before bed. Thanks for this!!
Oh, the query trenches…it does seem like an especially important time to focus on your own definition of success.
And phooey to the person who told you not to write Book 2. You write whatever you want! It’s not like the effort will be wasted! (I understand, they’re telling you not to count on getting book 2 published before you’ve got book 1 out there and had reader feedback. All very logical, but this is not a logical gig!)
And the your plan for the rest of the day sounds absolutely fabulous. Good for you!
Julie, I needed to read this today. Got a pass on a pet project of mine. Sigh. But I’m one step closer to my goal. Thank you for reminding me.
Ach, sorry to hear that, but glad you came to WU for a pick me up…and found it.
Though ‘being picked’ isn’t the only measure of success, it’s one that can only happen if we stay happy enough to keep doing All The Things and taking those steps.
High five!
I landed here via your email and found I’d already read the article on WriterUnboxed which, like you, I heartily recommend. Not every article draws me in, but yours did. You are inspirational!
Aw shucks! Thanks!
I love that you’re on my email list AND WU’s. I think we attract the best people!
Thanks for the “pep talk.” Last year, in May, I almost did a story a day in May. And it was lots of fun. I proved to myself, if no one else, that I could crank out diverse stories. I even expanded a couple of them. Mainly, it was a great deal of fun. So, thanks again for reminding us to just keep plugging. I need that in this pandemic that won’t go away.
Oi. So much this. Even when I am picked, I tend to think, “Has there been a mistake?” Not the best habit, obviously, and I’m working on it. The Story-a-Day community has helped more than I can say. In any event, I’ll keep writing.
Brilliant article. Timely for me personally, and so needed, for writers and for anyone else trying to define success on their own terms. A keeper! I will share this.