Cleaning the Lens
By Anne Brown | October 31, 2017 |
I have a daughter. She’s seventeen. She’s a fantastic writer (truly), and a big-time reader (no surprise). She’s also totally blind. And this is where things get interesting.
A few weeks ago, we were driving down the road. She was reading aloud to me from her work in progress—a fantasy that featured a blind person as the main character. Here’s a snippet of that conversation:
Daughter reading: “As the minivan approached the curb, we all turned to look, and John’s face clouded with disgust.”
“Stop,” I said. “Stop right there. Isn’t the main character blind?”
“Yeah,” she said, as if it should be obvious. She’d already told me so.
“Okay, so how did she know it was a minivan approaching? How did she know everybody turned to look? How did she know what John’s face looked like?”
Long pause…Then, from the passenger seat. “Dammit.”
This exchange triggered a fascinating conversation about points of view and author intrusion. My daughter had infused her character with a point of view that was not specific to her character’s visual impairment, but rather to every sighted character in every book she’d ever read. This disconnect caused reader/listener confusion and a lack of trust.
“How can you rewrite it?” I asked.
A few minutes later she came back with:
“Everyone groaned when a vehicle pulled up to the curb beside us, but John was the loudest. I didn’t understand what was wrong until I heard a panel door slide open with a soft swish that turned into a grating noise and ended with a distinct clunk. I’d know this minivan anywhere, and I knew John would need my support. I grabbed his hand and hung on tight.”
Lesson Learned: Understand your Character’s Lens
If you are writing in first person singular, or third person limited, your POV reveals a single character’s experiences in, and relationship with, the world and everything in it. Unless you’re writing your memoir, this person is not you. The problem is, so much of our personal experiences naturally infuse our writing.
For example, I spend a lot of time on Lake Superior. Despite a healthy fear for its dangerous propensities, I often drive my car onto a ferryboat and cross a channel. I have done it so often and for so long that I might notice things like one of the main ferries being out of commission, or that there is a new crew for the summer. But these details are not what a fictional character might notice, particularly if they are making the journey for the first time.
Imagine fictional Stephanie, Javier, and Omar—all of whom have a similar respect for the dangerous propensities of the lake. Stephanie is an engineer; Javier is a water color artist; Omar is a Broadway producer. Here’s how they might each describe the experience of crossing the channel:
- Stephanie: I’d done my research. I knew the specs. The ferry weighed one hundred tons. The crossing was two-point-five miles. Lake Superior was over thirteen hundred feet deep, not to mention the temperature: thirty-nine degrees if I got down a couple feet below the surface. My head told me to stay logical, though my heart raced.
- Javier: The water was the darkest shade of blue, nearly black, but laced with tinsel as the sun threaded through it. Occasional splashes of a deep sage green. For my own peace of mind, I focused on the beauty and refused to think about the cold, forcing myself so deep into a state of Zen that the colors ran together, and I didn’t notice the crew member who’d stopped to take my ticket.
- Omar: I spotted the captain standing up in the bridge, looking down at his crew as they ran from one end of the ferry to the other, pulling ropes, and directing cars, someone else taking tickets. Each member playing his part that, alone, got us nowhere but together created a well-rehearsed performance that earned my confidence that we’d cross in safety. On with the show.
If your character’s observations stay consistent with who they are (and not with who you are) throughout the novel, you will create an intimacy between the reader and your character. That character will seem “believable” to them, and the reader will trust that the character is giving them the straight scoop. You can use this trust to interesting results.
For example, in the Harry Potter series, written almost entirely in third person limited, we see the world through Harry’s eyes. What Harry likes (e.g., Quidditch), we like. What Harry hates (e.g., Snape), we hate. Because of the reader-character intimacy, we trust Harry and we acquiesce to his personal biases, which sometimes lead us astray. Without spoiling things for the one person out there who hasn’t read these books, Harry’s limited POV on the world is what causes (imho) one of the most emotional reveals in modern literature.
Here are some questions to think about when considering how your POV character might look at the world. Obviously it’s a limited list, but use it to brainstorm your own questions.
- Are they detail-oriented or a “big picture” person?
- Are they vain? Maybe they need glasses but refuse to wear them, thus affecting their observations.
- Are they a multi-tasker or a one-track mind kind of person? Are their observations compartmentalized or tangled?
- Do they have a disability that affects perceptions, e.g., autism, visual or hearing impairment, or paranoia.
- Does their physical stature affect their observations? Maybe they’re short and very conscious of everyone’s armpits and nose hairs; tall and privy to the condition of everyone’s scalps?
In short, while the impulse may be to describe the world the way you see it, you must take a step back and make a conscious effort to look at the world the way your character would see it. This takes effort and a constant re-checking of yourself because it’s far too easy to slip back into your own head.
After all, you’ve been living there for a very long time.
What are some POV questions you ask yourself about how your character might see the world around them?
Anne Greenwood Brown got her start as a traditionally published author of young adult paranormal and contemporary romance. Currently, she is a USA Today bestselling author of adult paranormal and contemporary romance (both traditional and indie) under the pen name AS Green . For more information see the Contributor tab. You can also follow her on Facebook , Instagram , and TikTok .
That example with your daughter goes to show how we can inadvertently absorb from all the other writers who have gone before. Loved her re-write, too; what a difference!
This is pretty timely, as I am working on a revision to a project that features three different points of view. One of the big challenges is making sure they each have a distinct narratorial voice based on who they are. Thanks!
Jeff, I often write in multiple POVs. One thing that’s helped me during the editing process is to only read/edit one POV at a time so I can make sure the other character’s voice/sensibilities aren’t inadvertently leaking over.
That’s an interesting way to approach it, Anne. I might have to try that!
I notice something about both your daughter’s passage and your own examples: while each unique POV person “sees” different details and describes the moment in a way particular to that character’s sensibility, there is an additional element that brings the moments alive.
Emotions. Your teenage daughter’s character is above all things worried for a friend. Your ferry passengers are afraid of cold, deep water. Ways of seeing are unique but have the greatest impact when paired with ways of feeling.
Yes! Great reminder, Don. Emotion takes it to another level and requires a writer to not only catalog details their character might notice but tap into their own ability to have empathy for someone quite different than themselves.
Very well described. POV is not just about seeing the world as your character sees it. It’s about feeling it as they feel it and processing it as they’d process it. And I love the Harry Potter reference. Great example.
“A doctor, a lawyer, and a priest walk into a bar…”
Perspective is so vital for understanding who makes up our world that we make jokes to make it even clearer. Of *course* keeping the tone within a character’s history, needs, and momentary feelings is key to getting in their heads. More than that, it can be the cumulative sense of staying in their viewpoint until the reader knows what it’s like to react and live like them, that really brings storytelling to its highest level.
Thanks for this, Anne.
Great post, Anne. Growing up with my siblings, I often knew how they would respond to a problem, a question, what their focus would be. It’s so obvious it becomes like the joke–the lawyer, doctor, priest etc. But in fiction, and sometimes in real life, setting that reaction on its head can also create tension, draw the reader in. Yes, our characters have to be “in character” so to speak, but when forced to “move out” to change in a crisis, that’s another component we can utilize to raise the stakes. Thanks.
Yes, I think you’re right. We do develop our observation skills within our own family first. As kids, I may have used my knowledge about how my sister’s mind works to my advantage once or twice!
Wonderful reminder and fabulous examples. As Don said, all 3 characters were focused on the one thing, the lake, but from 3 totally different perspectives. Thank you!
Love these examples, Anne. Simple, yet effective.
Dee
Author of A Keeper’s Truth
Nicely done, and very much along the lines of the description technique I advocate, “experiential description.” What the narrative describes a character as seeing or doing is filtered through the character’s beliefs, expectations, feelings, desires–all the things that make up a character’s mind. I try to immerse myself in the character and then look out at and experience the world from within. Your three characters on a ferry were excellent examples of how to do experiential description. I loved your daughter’s very quick understanding of what needed to be done, and her excellent rewrite. Thanks.
Brilliant post! I write deep 3rd POV and in my most recent series, from multiple characters. It has really been a challenge to keep true to each characters’ POV at all times. Your examples are spot on and makes the story so much more vivid.
Great post! Your examples were really helpful.
What a great explanation of deep POV. Thanks, Anne. And your daughter is a quick study. That’s amazingly competent prose for a seventeen-year-old. Good for her.
Yes, I’m quite proud! I don’t take any credit; she reads a TON!
Really great post Anne. Thanks.
One extra bit: it is so important to set up significantly different points of view in the characters you choose for viewpoint characters.
It takes me a while – sometimes days – to make the mental and physical transition to a different character when I write a new scene, and it’s worth the time. I learn something new every time, and can almost feel the snap when I’m in the new character instead of in the old one or in my own head (I eschew narrators, so that’s a bad place to be).
Without that switch, though, there’s little point to my writing, because choosing the scenes and who tells them is a big part of the story.
I expect the shift, have a prompt to remind me to make it, and still feel at sea without knowing why until I do make it. Then I’m a favorite character again – and the writing is much easier.
This post is a keeper!
Thanks for clarifying something that’s been a struggle (five POVs: four children + one magical cat). I can put this POV info to use today.
Thanks, again.
HA! So is the magical cat the “doctor, the lawyer, or the priest?” (as referenced in comments above)
Hmmm….definitely not the lawyer. Even though this is a kid’s book, maybe more like the bartender–she occasionally offers rather silly advice, but mostly listens as the kids work out little dilemmas. Maybe a combo funny bartender and camp counselor?
I’ve never really thought about this before. I tend to write characters who see the world the same way I do, because it’s easier for me to visualize and experience that. It’s a subconscious thing, and one that I’l have to pay more attention to.
This was fabulous, Anne. And you’re right, your daughter is a good writer!
I’m working through revisions on a book right now, and this is a timely reminder of something my editor mentioned. Such a great way to deepen the POV and the reader’s emotional experience. Thanks!
Great reminder of deep POV.