When Red Walls Attack—Be You in a Trend-Obsessed World
By Kathryn Magendie | March 29, 2024 |
Pexels Image by Melanie Brumble
I watch a lot of Food Network and HGTV. I find it calming and motivating.
I’m not much of a cook, but I’ve learned a little from Food Network, like patience and to pay attention since my jittery nature often is distracted from the stove or oven. I have eaten scorched food too many times to admit.
Why are some lessons so stubborn to learn from the mistakes?
With HGTV I love the voyeurism of peeking into other people’s houses to see what they like and how they live.
When I am full of myself, I holler at my TV, “You picked that house/design team/chef? Are you serious?” I know there are others smiling at their TV saying, “Oh, they picked right.” Well, bless their hearts.
A lesson I repeatedly hear is to be true to your own voice and style, and while it’s great to experiment, to try new things, to reach out farther than you thought you could or would, it is so much better to be You while doing it.
Competitors often lose as they lament too late, “I should not have tried to impress the judges but done what I am good at.” I eat my scorched food and scoff at the screen, “Yeah! You should have! Huhn.” Often, they admit if they win it is validation that they are in the right business. Well, if they lose, then what?
Then there are times they do everything just right, beautifully, and still don’t win. Subjective, isn’t it?
If it’s a meal, we likely aren’t losing much if we mess up. However, if it’s décor or floors or appliances, etceteratata, well, we have more of a kerfluffle don’t we?
Trends come and they go and return and go again. If you aren’t super confident you will like your result for what it is despite some designer telling you it’s great, and if every time you walk into that glowingly sterile white kitchen or cook with that pretty pale pink stove that goes with your pink countertops and heavily patterned floor you will want to sob, well, then re-think that trend a while.
Maybe that home reno works for someone else, but does it really speak to you? Maybe that struggle to feel comfortable is you aren’t doing what makes you feel at ease, real, true—happy.
There was an episode of HGTV where an ‘influencer’ had to stay current to the latest trends, while her about-over-it-already partner was frustrated because constantly changing things to please her preciousnesses’s followers was time-consuming, expensive, and disruptive. She was so bent on being relevant that she lost sight of Home. And nothing would ever be Done. Ya know?
Trapped in a loop of trying to please everyone, which we know is never going to happen, sounds exhausting. And noisy and crowded, what with all those voices chiming in with their thoughts and opinions and negative we hate that why did you do that it sucks so you suck.
Our innards are smarter than we give them credit, I tell you what. Like when I painted some walls red. I knew I didn’t want red; my mind had been set on something calmer (with my overactive chaotic brain, I keep my physical home environment calm, organized, clean, neat, soothing.)
Instead of being true to who I am, I listened to a friend who’d done their walls red and this friend sounded so convincing and maybe they knew better because they were confident and strongly opinionated and it had worked well for them and gosh that old-blood-red sure was deep and gorgeous and who was I to disagree?
Oh, it never settled right. That red rushed towards me; it pulsated with intent; it thundered at me; it punched me in the psyche. Ack!
Couple of years passed before I bought primer and new paint and a stair ladder holder thingee. I didn’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings, and it’s a process to cover up red, as well as not easy to paint my vaulted ceiling wall but those years were rough what with that red being such an arsehole.
The very first roll I was giddy and exhilarated, and with each subsequent roll, I felt lighter and brighter and happier, and once done, I could breathe again. I’d’ve saved myself time, frustration, work, money, and a punched psyche if I’d’ve listened to my innards in the first place.
I have learned to feel confident in my choices. But not to be closed to all advice and guidance. My friend had other great ideas that worked out well. You must know the difference between ‘this is good solid advice so I won’t be stubborn and too big for my britches,’ and, ‘that doesn’t feel right for me and I ain’t gonna change my mind so hush.’
All that jibber-jabber above when I could say what I had to say with a few sentences, but where is the fun in that? I often toss a lot of random stuff in the pot and stir it around just for the helluvit. Sometimes it’s tasty; sometimes it’s scorched.
We all know this: Be true to your own voice. Don’t write what you think will be popular as that’s ever-changing. Be confident in your choices but don’t close yourself off to all advice. Don’t listen to too many voices because you’ll never please everyone and you’ll never be Done.
Be uniquely you.
I don’t write the same style as the other fabulous WU writers, or wonderful plot-writing authors, and I struggled with that lacking feeling for a long while. Like my decor and my cooking, my writing is also a little eclectic and ‘let’s begin and see where it goes ….’ So, I now write what makes me happy and wait for WU to say, ‘Kathryn, your work is chaotic and meandering, and so, you have been chopped.’
The book business and the publishing business is unpredictable. Blockbuster movies, best seller book lists, long-running TV sitcoms and series all seem to be fading away. And with streaming, lending services, and freebies, among others, people have fast-changing options in whole new venues. Regular ol’ book reading numbers are down.
Our motivation for writing must come from something visceral, perhaps?
When you open that WIP, be happy. This is your work and in the end you must feel good about it, comfortable in and around and on and through it.
Feel some joy and excitement or what’s the point, really?
Oh, and if you like red walls, or an all-white kitchen, or some pink appliances, shoot, I say go for it! It’s your dang space! If I visited you, I would think it stunning because you would be happy and who wouldn’t feel joy to be around that kind of positive energy and contentment?
So, what are you working on? And are you happy and excited with it? Do you have a pink stove?—I have timeless-but-boring stainless steel, and I am fascinated by pink stoves!
Author, Content Editor at Edge of Arlington, and along with Angie Ledbetter, former Publishing Editor of The Rose & Thorn online journal.
Her short stories, essays, poetry, and photography have been published in print and online publications. Her novels are available in print and ebook. TENDER GRACES, Magendie’s first novel, was an Amazon Kindle Number 1 best-seller.
She lives in the Smoky Mountains in a little log home in the Cove at Killian Knob in Maggie Valley, Western North Carolina with her wonky-toothed little dog named Bear. Trees surround her. The mountains hug around her. Critters love her. Crows follow her around the Cove. Bears stare at her through her window. One day she’ll finish another novel.
Some or all of this is true.
Kat!! Oh how I love your word wrangling. Oh how I’ve missed you. Oh how I love this message.
I guess I’ve gotten to the point where I’m true to myself and my stories. A bit stubbornly so. Maybe even to the point where that’s a problem. I’ve grown curmudgeonly truthy. And now I’ve even had dear friends try to make me see that the pink stove… and fridge and dishwasher and bathroom fixtures of my story may not appeal to too many readers. Oh, and hey–they’re not even a trend. And I’ve stiff-armed them in favor of my beloved weirdness, righteous in my curmudgeonly truthiness.
I guess the good news is that when my books don’t do well, and reviewers and readers start whispering to each other about my weird pink shit, I have no one else to blame. I know that when my books fail to fly off the presses that I can righteously sit with that damn pink that I picked and curmudgeonly blame my truthiness. I hope my friends are still willing to stop by for a laugh now and again. I’m willing to laugh along, even if we all know they’re laughing at the pink shit.
So glad to see you here, my friend. Hope all’s well in your cozy corner of the world (sans red).
I love ‘curmudgeonly truthy’ –haw! I think that is I as well. :D
The books I loved writing the best and I most love are the ones where I wrote all to myself just how I wanted. The one where I tried to please a publisher or what I thought was going to sell better (it did not, ironically!), I was the most unhappy writing and still would love to redo that book. Maybe one day I will! Who says I can’t?
All is well – and I hope for you two, too — y’all come back and visit – !
YES: “Our innards are smarter than we give them credit . . .” I really enjoyed reading your thoughts. Inspiring me to dig out ye olde manuscript (and poetry collection, and photos, and “doodles,” and cookbook recipes, etc.). ;)
Keep on keepin’ on, smart writer. Let that smart gut lead the way always. XO Angie
I miss reading your poetry and other works. I know we are much too busy, but I also miss our Rose & Thorn days. What beautiful writers found us and we had the honor of publishing!
Kathryn, thank you for writing such reassurance to those of us who are never quite sure the WIP will sell. –And congratulations on living in Maggie Valley in the Smokies. I live down the way in the NC foothills, but I get to the mountains with the huzbn and the two dachshunds whenever I get the chance. It’s one of the most beautiful places on earth, and a darned good place to write.
You are still in a wonderful area too! Maggie has changed a bit and instead of fighting my mind against it, I am grateful to live in such a beautiful nature-inspired mountains-hug-me place!
“When you open that WIP, be happy. This is your work and in the end you must feel good about it, comfortable in and around and on and through it.” Thanks, Kathryn. I am querying now, getting rejections. And within the rejections are praises of my work. Strange, I am seen as a capable even creative writer, but even so…thus, we keep on, boats against the tide. Humor is good. I wish I had more of it…Beth
The query process is soul-sucking isn’t it?
My first book, Tender Graces (never have liked that title! but I had no control over that part), when I sent it out to agents (that was the big thing at the time, sending to agents) I received in the mail on the same day two different letters. One read: I loved the first half of the book! Can you make the second half more like the first” and the other letter read, as you may have guessed: I love the second half of the book but the first half didn’t work for me. — no kidding, this happened. So … yeah.
Just remember who you are. Remember how this is not a reflection on you at all but more on the whole danged business of books and art and music and Rock the Block room renovations. It’s subjective, yes, but also competitive, and in the case of books, unfortunately, a business that is broken.
Red walls? Seriously? Psychologists who study the effect of color in homes know that neutrals make you calm (if bored), yellow makes you angry and red makes you prone to suicide and murder. I just made that up but it’s sounds trendy, right?
At the recent London Book Fair, I was pitching my agency’s titles to overseas sub-agents and editors. Asking them what their markets were looking for, one word came up over and over: “romantacy”. Everyone wants the next Fourth Wing. Naturally they do, who wouldn’t, and I did not have that for them because at my company we do not follow trends, we look for authors who make trends.
You can only do that by being original and a big part of that is being you, drawing from your own experience, as the author of Fourth Wing reportedly did. (She also synthesized genre elements, as did also JK Rowling and our own client Jim Butcher, to note.) We know that we’re on the right track when the novels we rep are nominated for awards, or win them, and by the starred reviews they rack up.
I’ll brag: our authors get that a lot of those things. That’s, in turn, because I take on agents who have a vision and support them in it. I don’t approve the writers they choose to rep, if they believe in them that is enough. Be you. That works for us very well and I’m delighted to read your solid endorsement of that truth today.
About those home renovation shows…have you noticed how those remodeled interiors all look alike? Yeah.
You give me hope, Don. Yes, I write fantasy, yes, it’s romantic, but no, it’s not quite like anything else out there. Not that I’ve noticed, anyway. But it is what it is. Before too much longer, I’ll be shoving it out the door to take its chances.
I have noticed that! There is a design team who had very original concepts and it was refreshing but they never won these competition shows, so they changed their style to match everyone else’s. Kind of made me sad. Though their work is still beautiful it doesn’t have that uniqueness (well, except for a few touches here and there).
Love the comment! Thank you!
(As for the red walls – made me laugh – my walls did look rather bloody – lawd!)
Red walls are good for your writing room or office. But not for your bedroom. I think Hometown doesn’t cookie cutter their design style. These use lots of color. Right now I’m watching this American couple redo a beautiful stone farm type house/stable in Tuscany. I hope they don’t ruin it.
I had it in my hallway/living room/kitchen area – too much for my brain!
I do watch Home Town and I like they way they cater their designs to the people who will live in the house. As for the Tuscany Reno – this couple usually does a beautiful job so we’ll see! But they sure needed to do their ‘homework’ better !
I had red walls in my dining room (house built and painted in 2011) in a home we just sold. I think it was all the trend back then and I was too lazy to paint over it. (Do you know how hard it is to cover red?!) I was okay with it, really. It never made me want to stab anyone with a fork or knife!
As for not following trends in writing, I have been writing SF for kids for 18 years (because I love to read it?) but I’ve finally decided I’m better at writing character driven stories.
I had a little cottage in a neighborhood where the walls were a ‘merlot red’ – it was all the thing back then! And it looked so dramatic with the mahogany dining table. If I really still liked deep red like that, I’d have kept it on my walls despite any trend but it sure didn’t work here in my lil log house :)
I love a character-driven story! And writing what you like to read sounds good to me – and fun to write. Maybe you can write a character-driven SF story and see what it feels like.
You had me at “I watch a lot of Food Network and HGTV. I find it calming and motivating,” because, same. Great message I identify with. Carry on in the same vein. :)
I also admit to a Top Chef and Next Level Chef addiction – laughing. Dang.