What Is “Success”?
By Julie Duffy | January 10, 2024 |
It’s 11:30 PM and you know you shouldn’t, but you can’t help checking your email one more time.
And there it is…another rejection.
You really thought you had it this time: you’d read the guidelines, read the publication, researched the agent, were sure your piece was a great fit…and still it’s a ‘no’.
No matter how many times you say to yourself “It’s part of the process”, you still feel that sinking feeling, that sting, that cold wash of disappointment.
That’s when the treacherous voice in the back of your mind starts its chant: maybe you’re just not meant to be a writer.
Who Said That?
Deep down, if you’re honest, you KNOW you’re meant to be a writer.
- You’ve always loved to read
- You love playing with characters and language.
- When your writing is going well time disappears and there’s nowhere you’d rather be than at your desk.
If we know we are pulled to write, happy when we write, and able to give other people pleasure through our writing, why do we keep questioning our right to write?
The answer is usually that we’re being influenced by a barrage of voices, some that matter to us, and some that don’t but whose sheer volume makes it hard for us to block them out.
How You And Simone Biles Are Alike
Writing is hard.
Every time you sit down to write, you are creating something that didn’t exist before.
Just because we all learn to write words somewhere between age 4-6, that doesn’t mean there’s a formula for the piece you’re writing now.
And you’re competing for attention not only against every other writer out there, but against pinging cellphones, the endless scroll of news headlines, even NFL RedZone’s brain-meltingly busy ‘Octobox’…
Before Simone Biles withdrew from the women’s team finals at the Beijing Olympics two years ago, she, too, was doing incredibly hard things–things that no other human had done before–with little margin for error. Every move was judged to one decimal place, compared to a theoretical ideal as well as to everyone else’s performances.
She had won All The Things (multiple times) and yet, suddenly, she questioned her ability to do her job.
(Don’t tell me only writers get blocked! Biles was physically incapable of doing her job because of things happening in her brain.)
A Shift in Perspective
One of the most striking comments she has made about her recent return to competition, is her comment that, “before, everyone defined success for me.” (from Olympics.com)
I’ve been preaching the need for writers to define ‘success’ for themselves for years, so Biles’s comment leaped out at me.
Now, you may be saying “Julie, that’s fine for her. She already reached the top of her field. I haven’t come close to that yet.”
But that’s exactly my point.
Simone Biles reached the pinnacle of everyone else’s definition of success for her…and it nearly broke her. Is that what you want?
Some Heretical Thoughts
As we work on our writing, it’s incredibly important to make sure that whatever definition of ‘success’ we’ve created for ourselves, we’ve done it for the right reasons.
Here are few heretical questions I’d like you to ask yourself:
- Do you need to be published to be successful?
- Do you need to finish the piece you’re working on, to feel like you’re not letting yourself (or ‘it’) down?
- Do you need to write every day?
- Do you need to be paid for your writing?
- Do you need to be read?
Some of these things will get a ‘heck yes!” from you, and that’s great.
But some will give you a moment’s pause.
It’ can be hard for us to know what success truly feels like, for us, because we’re bombarded with external visions of it.
My contention is that the things that give you pause are not your own, true definitions of ‘success’. They’ve been implanted by someone else: a teacher who saw your talent; a supportive spouse who doesn’t actually know anything about the publishing industry but wants you to feel successful; that woman at the coffee shop who saw you writing on your laptop and keeps asking you when she can buy your book, thinking she’s being nice.
Do those versions of success actually matter to you? Do they match your values? Does their pursuit create a happy life for you?
If not, I want you to be clear on this: you are free to let them go, and rewrite your own definition of success.
And no, that’s not going to help you achieve wealth or fame through your writing. But that’s not what I’m trying to do.
I want you to be happy.
I want you to keep writing.
And to do that, you have to feel successful from time to time.
If your only definition of ‘success’ is one that is unattainable, impractical, unlikely or doesn’t actually make you happy, then what are you doing this for?
Every other gymnast in the world isn’t Simone Biles. So why compete?
I assume they keep going because they have other, daily successes that they push themselves to achieve. (Beating Biles might be among their goals, but if it is their only definition of success, that sounds like a recipe for a miserable life.)
Your Vision Of Success
So how do we come up with an authentic vision of ‘success’ for ourselves?
Well, some of it might be based on outcomes (finishing pieces, placing pieces, reading reviews) but most of our days are spent in moments other than those.
When defining ‘success’ for ourselves, it’s worth looking at how we want our average days to go.
- What would your life really look like if your book was published, and picked up and turned into a TV series? (Do you want to deal with intellectual property lawyers and producers? Do you want to appear on talk shows? Do you want your contributions calculated in percentage points?)
- When you are under contract to write three more books in two years, is that going to be a thing that suits you or stresses you out?
- Can you handle unkind reviews? Do you want to?
Again, some of these will get a ‘heck yes’ from you. Others, not so much.
There is no guarantee that any of us get more than one shot at life on this pale blue dot. What do you want your days to look like? Feel like?
Klear-eyed Kameron
Kameron Hurley recently took an unfiltered look at what it can look like to be an author, under contract. She talked frankly about the stresses as well as the rewards, after releasing 12 books. She also talks openly about keeping her day job because a, publishing doesn’t pay well enough for her to walk away and b, the day job gives her a security that takes the pressure off the writing and allows her to enjoy it more.
It’s not the average person’s impression of what life as an author looks like. But is Kameron Hurley not a success, with 12 contracted books and a long-term fanbase that meet her as adults and tell her they’ve loved her books since they were in high school?
- Would that feel like success to you?
- Are you willing to do what it takes to get that?
- Or do you have a different vision of success?
- And are you willing to do what it takes to get that?
What does ‘success’ look like, to you?
(And I encourage you to think about your whole life.)
- Is it just about making money from your writing?
- Is it about being ‘picked’ by the publishing industry?
- Is it seeing a finished piece printed out on your home printer?
- Is it getting up and writing a satisfying scene before work?
- Is it getting to start every day with a cup of coffee and your notebook and the secure knowledge that nothing makes you feel more like yourself than making time for your writing a few days a week?
- Is it keeping your skills up to the level where everyone in the family looks forward to your letters, and you get asked to give speeches at every family occasion?
- Is it saying no to invitations so you can finish up the current draft and get it sent off to your editor?
- Is it learning about how the publishing industry works and working that system to give your books the chance they deserve?
In each of those examples (and any others you can think of) pay attention to your emotions around the ideas, but also think about the realities of what your daily life would look like in each example.
- Do you want more free time to spend with the grandkids?
- Do you want a predictable income so that your stress levels are lowered?
- Does the idea of a day job crush your soul so much that it gives you a thrill to think of pitching yourself for all kinds of writing jobs so that you can fund your life with your wordsmithing skills, alone?
The truth is there are as many definitions of ‘success’ as there are individual writers on the planet.
“Success” does not mean ‘settling’ for a lesser version of your vision, but it does mean being clear-eyed about what your vision involves, on a day-to-day level, and being honest with yourself about whether or not that’s worth it.
Two years ago, Simone Biles decided that ‘success’ for her was being physically safe and mentally healthy, and that meant not doing what was expected of her.
Later, she decided that ‘success’–for her, right now–was going back to the gym and discovering what was possible.
And now, she says “now, it’s just showing up, being in a good head place, having fun out there, and whatever happens, happens.” (source)
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that she’s also competing–and winning medals–again.
But there are plenty of ex-competitive gymnasts–and actors and screenwriters and one-hit wonders and athletes of all stripes–who have found success for themselves in other, less glamorous, less noticeable lives, and who are much happier than they ever were when they were achieving what looked like ‘success’ from the outside.
Success Exercise
I encourage you to grab your notebook and favorite beverage. Find a great place to sit, and answer these questions. Honestly.
ACTION STEP-WRITE DOWN ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS:
- What is a writing ‘success’ I can achieve today?
- What does success look like one week from now?
- What would make me look back in 6 months and call this year a ‘writing success’?
- What would success look like next year?
- When I finish my next piece of writing, what will mark it a success? (Being finished? Being revised? Having someone else read it and not throw up? Sending it out to a publication even if it’s rejected? Having it accepted by a publication? Self-publishing it and getting three reviews?)
- What tiny celebration will I do to complete today’s success and increase the chances of another, tomorrow? (Suggestions: a mini dance-break in the kitchen? A literal pat on the back and a big grin? Going outside and breathing in the fresh air for five minutes? Calling a friend to tell them you’re happy? Hint: the celebration should be instantaneous and something that you feel in your body, physically.)
Over to you. Have you defined success for yourself? Did you try the success exercise? What did you discover? What did you resolve to do differently?
Julie Duffy is the founder and director of the creativity challenge StoryADay.org where she has blogged about the creative life and short stories since 2010. StoryADay is the host of annual short story writing challenges in May and September, year-round writing prompts, articles and community resources for creative inspiration. She regularly talks at writers’ groups and conferences about creativity and writing.
Hey there, Julia. What a fascinating post. For me, there are two kinds of success. One is the personal reward of loving the world of writing fiction and the excitement of creative storytelling. A big warm success for me when I sit down every day and let the characters and story unfold to me (I write novels and short stories (indie and self-pubbed). But then there is worldly success and financial success, which gives me cooler rewards and limited satisfaction—an ongoing struggle if you are indie or self-published, and these days can be a struggle if you are with one of the big five publishers too. You ask a good question: what does success look like for you? It’s the sun and the moon. We have to recognize both, but if I had to choose which one to dominate my life and lead the way, sunshine wins. I’m sure some writers have both kinds of successes and maybe it’s a matter of fate. Manifesting any kind of success is a mysterious adventure for sure.
I love the phrase “mysterious adventure”. It’s certainly that…and wouldn’t life be boring if it wasn’t? ;)
Julie, thanks for this post. I suspect writers have different definitions of success. When I started writing fiction many years ago, I was sure I would be published. After all, I was a seasoned journalist and editor. I didn’t realize at the time how different writing fiction was from journalism. It was a huge learning curve and my queries fell on deaf ears. So, I took stock, learned as much as I could about the craft of fiction, and adjusted my expectations. My goal now is to write the best book I am capable of writing. I’m under no illusion that I can write like my fiction writing idols (Anne Tyler, Alice McDermott and Alice Munro), but I can strive to be the best writer I can be. And, I have dedicated myself to learning as much as I can about the craft of fiction. It was good to see you in Salem last fall. All the best to you.
I’m right there with you Chris: all those years of writing articles and essays, I thought going back to fiction would be a snap. Humbling experience having to learn a whole new craft!
Striving to be the best writer we can be is the best first priority for all of us, I think.
It was lovely to see you in Salem too!
Also: luckily you don’t have to write like Tyler, McDermott or Munro. You get to be the great Chris Blake :)
An excellent post, Julia. I’ve been sitting with some of these questions recently, and you’ve added a few more nuances for me to ponder. Good stuff.
Thanks, Ruth. There are always more layers to peel away…
Marvelous thoughts, Julie. Simone Biles really is a solid example of someone who found something more important than traditional success, and then worked out on her own terms that she was ready to take on the world her own way.
Writing *has* to be “our own way,” it’s just too personal and unique for each of us to let anything else define it. And that means building our writing around our own joys, our schedules, and all the rest. After all, if we had chosen this for money, it’s hard to think of any work that wouldn’t start paying far sooner and far more; there are better shortcuts to fame too. We write because we want to WRITE, and the rest is fine-tuning what form that could take.
And, I’m glad you mentioned both Kameron Hurley’s less-than-idyllic balance and the possibility of indie publishing (with the thought that it could mean getting all of three reviews, if you don’t learn to wear the hat for that as well). There’s a full range of options out there, not just fixating on one bestseller list as the answer to everything.
We write. That means, we have to work out what it means to live as the *writer* we want to be.
I really liked Kameron Hurley’s point that it’s worth it to her to keep the day job to provide security, structure (and the funds to be able to do things like book tours and writers’ conferences).
Nothing wrong with that, and I do think there are lots of subtle (and not-so-subtle) messages out there bombarding us with the idea that if we’re not earning 100% of our living from fiction writers, we’re someone not ‘real’ writers, which is of course, nonsense.
This was an outstanding article. I’m going to share it to my many writer friends. Thank you so much!
I’m so glad (it’s kind of my soapbox topic, these days!)
Great article. Like others, I agree the Simone Biles example is perfection.
We all have the inner voice nagging at us. For me, I should be reading more and writing every day. At times I listen to it and other times I can push it aside. I’m getting better with writing complete trash on the first draft of a chapter. Though nothing boosts my confidence like nailing a first draft. It only needs to happen often enough to keep the voice in its cage :)
I love all the questions. I should probably post them on my wall and remember to ask them of myself on occasion.
Thanks for sharing!
Yes, yes! Print them, post them somewhere prominent, journal on them…whatever it takes.
What a great post Julie. One I frequently need to hear
I MAY have also been writing it because I need to hear it regularly ;)
Thank you, Julie. Believe in your work. Reread. Rewrite. And again, believe in your work while reading others to discover how their magic might inspire you. FOR A WRITER, READING IS SUSTENANCE.
Sustenance, yes. We can get so caught up in other people’s ambitions for us that we lose a taste for even the simple-complex pleasure of reading. Let’s resist that!
Take a look at Kameron’s original essay. It’s a testimony to her guiding sticky note, “persistence” both in the personal and publishing journeys.
I’ve been an agent for a long time. I’ve worked with many career novelists, seen their trajectories from firework rocket (and sometimes fizzle) to slow burning but enduring galactic sun.
Here’s what I can tell you: most measures of success are unhelpful and misleading. A fiction career is a long term proposition. It’s not one book but many. Many. Twenty years from now, this year’s book will be just a one title on a future bibliography page.
Sophomore authors despair of the falloff in promo spending by their publishers but they are missing the point (and the reality of promo effectiveness). The goal is not any single success but the accumulation of titles over time. Not lightening strikes but longevity.
Thus, what is the measure of success for both pre-published writers and authors underway? I suggest this measure: if you’re still at it, you are succeeding.
Good post.
“Twenty years from now, this year’s book will be just a one title on a future bibliography page.” Ooo, that’s an enticing vision.
And yes, if you’re still at it, you’re succeeding. And how many of us could quit even if we tried?
Love this, Julie! It echoes so much of what I feel strongly about, regarding how authors can create and sustain satisfying, long-term writing careers–and so much of what I often write about in my own work as well, as an editor and educator. We can have agency and influence over the career we have–if we make sure we are creating the one we want. Truly want. Glad you shared.
I was bouncing up and down with glee during your Unconference talk on this topic because I, too, write so much about it and we are of one mind!
I know EXACTLY what I, as an indie writer of contemporary mainstream novels, need: to pitch my stories to a specific set of reviewers. Which? The ones who have read a highly publicized traditional novel in that category and DON’T like it, for the reasons stated in their review. Usually because I have the same complaints/peeves/peculiarities – and make sure my books don’t.
Mining those who are not satisfied would be lovely – and would hurt no one.
With a caveat — if I may — that you get to congratulate yourself every time you reach out to each of those reviewers. That’s the part you control, and the part you are being successful at. If they do t respond, you get to work on your outreach skills and, as you get better, that’s another success. Any publicity you get from those reviews will be extra sweet cherries on top of your success sundae.
I do that – quite successfully – when I can identify and respectfully approach one of those reviewers. Unfortunately for me, many of them deliberately do not identify themselves.
My success rate when I can find a reviewer and understand, via such as their blogs, how they look at reading as well as what books we may have in common, is around 50%. Pretty high. BUT it can take me two days to research and pitch such a reader.
Thank you, Julie, for reminding me what success means to me. Blessedness. Happiness. Peace. And it necessarily has to flow out. God bless us all here.
I read this the day it was posted, but today I am going through the questions. Thank you!