9 Ways to Show the Reader it’s Love

photo adapted / Horia Varlan

If a stranger standing beside you on a train track simply blurted that they loved you, you wouldn’t believe them, would you? You’d want substantiation. Some clue that they weren’t a stalker, or that their emotions had been building over time. That’s because true love, ideally, is specific to the personhood of the two individuals involved—and something that both participants would like to be in on.

In stories, readers want in on it too—and like everything else in fiction, that requires showing. Yet so often, in the manuscripts I see that feature a romance, the writer has basted together a relationship with the thinnest of threads, while at the same time asking that readers buy that what they’re selling is love.

Since a well-developed romantic thread can keep readers of any genre turning pages, let’s look at some of the ways authors have successfully convinced readers that their characters are falling in love. Maybe one (or more!) of them will work in your story.

1. Show that love changes the character.

In A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman, Ove first sees the woman he’ll marry on a train platform, just as in my silly example above. But Backman convinces. Ove is compelled to follow her onto her train, which takes him two hours from home in the wrong direction. After sitting across from her to chat, Sonja tells him she takes the train back each day at 5, so maybe they’ll cross paths again—inciting him to loiter in the town where she’s attending school just so he can sit with her again on the way home. He does this for three weeks. She has a profound effect on him:

He had never heard anything quite as amazing as that voice. She talked as if she were continuously on the verge of breaking into giggles. And when she giggled she sounded the way Ove imagined champagne bubbles would have sounded if they were capable of laughter.

2. Show that the character wants to support their beloved in being the best version of themselves.

In Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens, a young man named Tate teaches self-raised protagonist Kya to read, opening her mind to the science behind the marsh she loves. One day he brings her a wrapped gift—a second-hand Webster’s Dictionary—and tells her to look inside.

Tucked in the P section was a pelican feather, forget-me-not blossoms pressed between two pages of the Fs, a dried mushroom under M. So many treasures were stashed among the pages, the book would not completely close.

3. Show that the character can’t stop thinking of their beloved—even beyond death.

In Jane Austen’s Persuasion, protagonist Anne Elliot allowed her family to persuade her that the sailor she loved was not a prospect who could secure her future. When the story begins, she has been pining for him for almost eight years‚ so when they meet again, the stage is set for sparks to fly.

From their beginnings on the train in example #1, Ove and Sonja stay married almost four decades until Sonja dies. Six months later, at the opening of the novel, Ove is suicidally depressed; he still sees her absence everywhere. In Chapter 14, five pages of their backstory are bracketed with these short, convincing sections:

Ove had never been asked how he lived before he met her. But if anyone had asked him, he would have answered that he didn’t.

~and~

But if anyone had asked, he would have told them that he never lived before he met her. And not after either.

4. Show that they “see” each other in a way no one else does.

About three-quarters of the way through the plot of Love Walked In by Marisa de los Santos, which has increasingly interwoven the life of Cornelia with that of her childhood friend Teo, who is in a troubled marriage to her sister—Teo tells Cornelia (POV) that he doesn’t think of her as short, as others do:

“Seriously,” said Teo seriously. “I guess you are short, but I’ve never thought of you that way.”

“You think of me as…” I waited.

“Essential,” he said.

In Shelby Van Pelt’s Remarkably Bright Creatures, only an octopus named Marcellus sees into the heart of aquarium cleaner Tova Sullivan, where she hides her enduring grief over the loss of her son Erik. Marcellus embraces her with a tentacle when she dips an arm into his tank—and in the final days of his life, surrenders an object that will help provide the closure she needs concerning Erik’s death. She responds with an equally loving act that shows she sees his true needs, as well.

5. Show mutual need fulfillment.

A short-but-sweet example of need fulfillment can be found in A Man Called Ove, as Backman summarizes what drew Ove to Sonja:

 “She liked talking and he liked keeping quiet.”

While need fulfillment is a powerful draw, it can also set up great conflict when the characters grow and their changing needs threaten their relationship.

6. Show observation from outsiders.

In de los Santos’s Love Walked In, 60 pages after Teo’s admission that Cornelia is “essential,” they are at a family dinner described in the POV of 11-year-old Clare:

But Clare had noticed Cornelia when she’d first walked up to find Teo sitting on the porch, how instantly not just her mouth, but her entire body seemed to smile. Was this how she always smiled at Teo? Clare tried to remember.

[.  .  .]

At the kitchen table, Cornelia and Teo kept space between each other and didn’t touch. Clare looked at the space. She wondered if the air between Teo and Cornelia felt different from usual air, if it felt different to Cornelia, maybe warmer, or if maybe Cornelia were filling up the air with something no one could see.

7. Show deepening feelings with an emotional turning point.

This emotional turning point is from Ann Napolitano’s novel Hello Beautiful. Because it’s a newer title that many may still want to read, I’ll remove names from this excerpt, which so beautifully lays bare the interiority that, after a long slow build, convinces the reader of love.

[He] crossed the room to stand in front of her. He held his hand out, palm facing up. His skin was soft and warm, so different from that day. A wave of feelings ran through [her]. A radio dial spun inside her, the volume loud. I love you, she thought, and the words—impossible now to deny—brought her both desolation and deep joy. [He] was her one. He was her heart. He had changed all the molecules inside her. [She] had known love would come for her with the force of a tsunami. She’d dreamed of this ever since she was a little girl, and her dream had actually come true. But she hadn’t known her love would be impossible, a dead end, unspeakable…

8. Show that love causes deep inner conflict.

As with the final line from Napolitano above, love isn’t always convenient. It might cause deep inner conflict, as in Katherine Center’s How to Walk Away—and inner conflict is a very convincing way to say love matters. Over the course of a long rehab, injured protagonist Margaret falls for her physical therapist, Ian. They’ve even kissed—at which point he quickly backpedals, as he loves his work and a relationship with a patient is grounds for getting fired. Margaret doesn’t want him to jeopardize his job either, but she is so hurt she requests another therapist. But when Maggie tries to walk on her own in the rehab gym and falls, Ian rushes to make sure she’s all right—and before helping her up, embraces her.

Later, at a party, Margaret’s sister holds mistletoe over their heads, even though it isn’t Christmas.

“He can’t kiss me,” I told Kit. “It’s against the rules.”

“Which rules?” she asked.

“All of them,” I answered.

But Ian was considering his options.

It’s worth reading to see the big, beautiful emotional turning point that happens next…and its disastrous results.

9. Show the lovers sacrificing for each other.

In the movie Titanic, Rose is willing to sacrifice her station in life for the authentic connection she feels with Jack. After the ship sinks—and despite ongoing debates as to whether the floating door could have held both Jack and Rose—Jack ensures her survival by allowing Rose to use the door as a float alone, sacrificing himself for the woman he loves.

What else works? Consistent acts of service, learning a new skill or language, loving a beloved’s faults just as much as their strengths—there are as many ways to convince the reader that your characters are in love as there are ways to love in real life.

What will not convince the reader of love

• Physical proximity

• Physical attraction alone (although this drives great conflict when they inevitably turn away from each other and realize there’s nothing to bring them back)

• Handing over the reins of their life (although this drives great conflict when the character decides to self-actuate)

• Asking the beloved to do things legally/morally/ethically abhorrent to prove their love (although this drives great conflict when said laws, morals, and ethics are inherited from source figures )

• Attraction under the influence (although this drives great conflict when the characters sober up)

• Constant agreement (although drives great conflict when one begs them to fight for their relationship)

The one thing that never works is to simply assume that it’s obvious to the reader that two of your characters are in love—and that’s true even if you try to tell them that they are.

In story, a reader won’t believe it’s love until you show them.

Will any of these methods work in your novel? What works best to convince you of a loving relationship? What literary examples have helped you fashion an arc of love?