On Taking a Pause and Reconnecting with Our Creativity
By Diana Giovinazzo | December 22, 2022 |
As my favorite Christmas episode of Doctor Who begins, “In the deepest part of winter, at the exact midpoint, everyone stops and turns and hugs and says well done, well-done everyone, we’re halfway out of the dark.”
We are regularly pulled in many directions, especially during the holidays when there are family obligations and parties on top of the regular everyday stress not bound to the month of December. What if during this midpoint in the year when the nights are long, what if, now bear with me, we take a break? As writers, we give so much of ourselves to the point where we are giving a part of our souls to the world through our words.
Recently while sitting down with a therapist, she stressed the importance of self-care and taking time out for myself. As someone who has always felt the urge to stay busy, constantly working and being involved with everything felt normal for me. There was no such thing as self-care. I grew up in a world where there were constant afterschool activities, we went to church three times a week and in between, we were spending time with family. So now at forty the idea of carving out a little time out of the day to do things like meditate, exercise, or even just be felt selfish. But what it comes down to is that self-care creates boundaries within ourselves.
I know, I know, the word boundary is that big scary B word that we all try to avoid. It makes others angry when we set them but in truth, the purpose of a boundary is to protect us, even if that person we need protecting is from within. One of the interesting things that began to happen for me was that when I took the time for myself there was a renewed vigor in not only my writing but in my personal life as well. Those moments of tranquility brought my imagination back along with the desire to want to write vs. feeling like I needed to write because it’s my job.
During this holiday season when the messaging is that it’s better to give than to receive, perhaps we can take a moment to give the gift of our presence. Whether it’s our work, our friends, our family, or ourselves the question we should ask when we wake up in the morning shouldn’t be what do we have to do today, it should be who do I want to be present for?
The funny thing about therapy is that it really does make you self-reflective, and once I finished the latest draft of my novel, I thought about what I wanted to do for the next few weeks. The answer, it turns out was just to be available for myself and my family. Are most of my family getting gift cards? For sure. Is my adult brother getting a stocking filled with a random assortment of sausages, toys, and whatever weird things I could find? Absolutely. But I am not feeling stressed out or overwhelmed by the holidays this year because I don’t feel like I have to do everything in a few short weeks. The next book can wait while I spend time resting and enjoying being with the ones I love.
Self-care doesn’t have to be about face masks and bubble baths all the time. It’s about doing healthy things to nurture ourselves which in turn nurtures our creativity. How can we, as writers pull from the well when it’s constantly being ladled out for others? This isn’t selfish because we have a duty to ourselves just as much as we have a duty to others. When we say no to things, it is more about being able to protect what we can or want to say yes to. Our time and creativity are valuable, don’t be afraid to put it first.
Regardless of what holiday you celebrate in December, it is as Doctor Who said, we are halfway out of the dark. Whatever happened during the course of the year is finished, congratulations on making it through. Well done, now take a rest and take care of yourself.
In what ways are you being present for yourself?
Diana Giovinazzo is the co-creator of Wine, Women and Words, a weekly literary podcast featuring interviews with authors over a glass of wine. Her debut novel, THE WOMAN IN RED, released in 2020, and her second novel, ANTOINETTE’S SISTER, released in 2022. You can find her in the Los Angeles area with her menagerie and husband.
[coffee]
I do believe in nesting, in taking time to eliminate “chores”, search for peace. That word, and what it means to each of us, can vary. For some, loud music is actually peace. Today, in Chicago, we are on the precipice of a storm, a big one, a long-lasting one. Plans for family Christmas celebrations will probably be cancelled. But if we look back, down through the ages, your words are wise. Presence begins within. Peace resonates when we find happiness within. For me, it will be time with husband, my son and his wife who can walk through the snows if the roads are bad. And it will be finding presence in whatever I choose to write….as the snow falls, as it covers us.
Totally get the need for this kind of break from writing. I often take two weeks in December off from a full writing schedule and do all the things that are so joyful about the holiday season – buying gifts, baking, decorating, sending cards, planning gatherings with family. That rejuvenates my soul.
Happy Holidays to you!
This post was the perfect thing for me to read today. I too usually take time off from work and maybe writing, but this year I’m at a critical place in my WIP and excited to get back to it… especially as we’ll be rained in tomorrow and the shopping/planning are all complete. Not sure yet what my choice will be, but I very much appreciate the reminder that we often push ourselves too hard. Hope you have a great (relaxing) holiday.
Here in New Zealand it’s midsummer and unseasonably hot and sticky. I don’t cope well with heat, so my plans over the next few weeks involve managing my heat-related stress with fans (no air conditioning here), iceblocks, and the strategic doing of nothing, while trying not to let the To Do list overwhelm me.
I’m also sewing patchwork curtains for the living room, to block out the glare and some of the solar gain. It’s restorative to make something useful and borderline beautiful out of what used to be clutter (my husband’s old worn-out shirts).
Sorry for the late comment. I’ve been too rushed to read this fully until today.
There’s a Norse tradition similar to what you describe, Diana (I could Google it to tell you their name for it, but I don’t need the stress). It’s a sense of closing the blinds, stoking the fire, gathering together, meant for this time of year. It coincides nicely with the Christian season of Advent, another kind of spiritual retreat and contemplation.
Have a blessed holiday season!
Love this, Diana. Great reminder.
“How can we, as writers pull from the well when it’s constantly being ladled out for others? This isn’t selfish because we have a duty to ourselves just as much as we have a duty to others. When we say no to things, it is more about being able to protect what we can or want to say yes to. Our time and creativity are valuable, don’t be afraid to put it first.”
Thank you thank you thank you, and a million times: Yes.
Learning how to be “selfish” in this way has been an ongoing journey for me over the past decade-ish of my life. I’m sure I still have a way to go. But I’m posting this comment from my neighborhood library, where I have come to work for a couple hours on my own, while my husband takes care of the kids — a new thing we are planning to do most weekends moving forward. That seems like good progress to me.