What If You Gave Up?
By Natalie Hart | April 22, 2022 |
NOT writing as a whole. Neither of us would be here if we wanted to give up writing. But what if you gave up an idea that is holding you back? Might it free you, your writing, your creativity?
I have to finish this manuscript before I can write the next story.
What if you didn’t? What if you moved on to another story? Just tested it out. You can still come back to the old manuscript. But what if the self-imposed idea that you have to finish something before you start the next thing is preventing you from working both on the old story and on the new story? Maybe you don’t like the old thing anymore, or the story isn’t quite working and you can’t figure out how to fix it, or it reminds you of a bad time in your life, or any other reason. If you gave yourself permission to put it aside would that be so wrong?
Would that make you a quitter? Or would that make you an adult who has looked at the options and decided to go another way? Laying aside a writing project that isn’t working / that you aren’t working on might be energizing. It might even help you make your way back to that project and finish it.
This is what I’m telling myself about the trilogy I’ve been working on for several years. I indie published the first book, fully drafted the second, and mostly drafted the third. And I’m just not working on them. But I won’t let myself move on, either, because I have to finish them. It was on a walk a few days ago that I asked that scary question: What if I gave up the idea that I had to complete the trilogy before I wrote anything else?
I’m close to giving myself permission to put them aside, at least for now, so I can start the next story idea. It might take until the end of this post, but I’m working on giving up this idea.
I have to find The Best System for Writing.
It can ease the anxiety of writing to put all your trust in an expert who has a system they say always works. But when that system doesn’t work for you, or it stops working for you, or some new expert comes with a Shiny New System that throws your system into question, or the novel you wrote using The Best System is rejected, that increases your anxiety. And you think it’s your fault–either for not following The Best System well enough or because it must not be The Best System and now you have to find the real Best System.
Writing is an anxiety-producing endeavor. No system and no writing advice will help you avoid it completely. And no system or writing advice can guarantee commercial success. Not even our own beloved Don Maass’. When I was in the Writer Unboxed Breakout Novel Dissection Group, every book we read violated at least one of his characteristics of a breakout novel.
Giving up the idea that there is a Best System can set you free to pick up and run with the writing advice that gives you energy and makes your imagination churn with ideas, and set aside writing advice that stymies you. Many multi-published writers who sell well experience self-doubt and anxiety at some point in the process of every novel. Remind yourself of this when you’re tempted to put all your trust in The Best System.
My only option is to be traditionally published.
This one was mine for many years. I was seeking the approval of a publisher and trying to avoid the insecurity and steep learning curve of indie publishing. Repeated rejection wasn’t fun, but I expected it, and didn’t let it stop me from keeping on trying.
But then a friend told me a story about raccoons: they love shiny things so much that they’ll stick their paw in a jar to get a shiny thing out, not be able to get their closed fist out of the jar, but they won’t free themselves because it would mean letting go. They’ll wind up in near starvation and all they need to do is drop the shiny thing.
Traditional publishing was my shiny thing. Letting it go meant a lot of work, and learning, and decision making. But I’m glad I chose myself. I might still try to get traditionally published in the future, but for now, I’ve written four projects that are out in the world, and I’m proud of that.
What if you gave up that idea that it’s traditional publishing or bust?
If I don’t sign with My Dream Agency / Dream Publisher I might as well quit writing.
I know several people who wanted to work in the film industry, but only a couple who actually do. The difference was that the people who now work in the industry were happy to start with a low-level job, demonstrate excellence and dependability, and grow from there. One who didn’t wind up in the industry would only go to one graduate program, and when they weren’t accepted, that was it. A few others wouldn’t take jobs that were “beneath them.”
Don’t let this idea limit you. There are so many options for publishing that writers choose for many different reasons. Permitting yourself only one path or one option is a great way to not see your work out in the world. Some writers have seen success in indie publishing and gotten picked up by a traditional publisher. Some have signed with smaller agencies or publishers and found it a valuable experience. Others start small and eventually move to larger agencies and publishers. Still others have gotten signed by dream agents who got their manuscript placed with a dream editor … who wound up leaving the publisher and their novel got stranded with no champion. There are no guarantees. Choosing one publishing option doesn’t mean you can’t explore a different option later. Don’t make yourself stuck before you’ve even started.
I have to do serious marketing if I’ve indie published.
Take a look at what you want out of writing and publishing. Do you want to try to make a living from your writing? Then, yes, you have do serious marketing. But if you are happy writing and publishing for the people who know you and a few who discover you, then embrace it. Happily ignore all the Your First 10,000 Readers course pitches. There are plenty of other things we do for pleasure and for the challenge that we don’t do in order to make a living from it:
- People train dogs without ever entering them in a competition.
- Gardeners grow flowers for pure joy without selling them.
- Gardeners have also been known to spend $8 on an heirloom tomato plant that gives them 3 tomatoes, which is not cost-effective compared to buying from the store or farmer’s market.
- Actors spend hours in rehearsals and performances in community theatre, all on a volunteer basis.
It’s great fun to daydream about having such great buzz or selling so many copies that TV shows come to you for interviews. But you can write and publish without that being your goal. Figure out what you want and pursue it unapologetically.
When I get published, I’ll finally feel like a success.
Unfortunately, the line for finally feeling like a success is constantly moving. Once your book is out in the world, you have sell it. Then you have to do another book, and it has to do better than the first. Your next deal has to be bigger. Your media coverage has to improve. Your reviews more glowing. Not to mention the fact that someone else is always writing more books and selling more copies. You will never write enough or sell enough or be famous enough to catch up with that line.
Here is where it is helpful to not tie your self-image to an exterior standard of success. John Green has great advice on seeing your creative work not as a tool for success but as gifts you make for people, where your responsibility is to the gift, not to the one(s) who receive it (find it captured in cartoon form here). Maybe you focus on learning new things, or whether you tried, or improving your skills, or trying one new thing. Define success for yourself. Then you can weather the external ebbs and flows without letting them damage your self-image as a creator.
*****
Whether you currently ascribe to any of those statements or whether you have some other assumption that might be holding you back, ask yourself the radical and simple question: What if I gave this idea up? Tease out the what ifs. Explore the options. You might surprise yourself.
Next week is an at-home vacation for me, and I’ll be practicing letting myself start a new project without finishing the old one. I’m a little anxious about it. But that’s to be expected.
What ideas or assumptions about writing have you given up?
What ideas or assumptions have you realized that you’re holding on to?
Natalie Hart writes stories for children. Her father was an entrepreneur, so she never intended to be one herself, but she’s become a proud indie author. She is the author of The Giant Slayer, an imaginative retelling of the first eight years of adventure in the life of the boy who would become Israel’s King David.
[coffee]
This is a question I’ve been asking myself with regard to a historical series that I’m plotting. “Should I give it up and move on to something else?” It’s a series that requires a lot of puzzling out because it involves political and social intrigue and is complicated by the slowness of travel and communication of the time (in modern stories it’s a quick phonecall or email, etc. No such options in the 1800’s). I have to coordinate a lot of moving parts with various characters and their backstories that brought them to the main thread of the story. I’ve written the draft for the first book and a piece of the second, but then got stuck–I may like the political and social intrigue, etc. but it’s another thing to execute it without it sounding contrived, and so the arguing with myself goes on.
But I have not yet reached a point where I’m willing to give it up. Who knows if that may come down the road, but right now, I’m keeping at the puzzle that I can’t let go.
We’re always negotiating with ourselves :-) The series sounds complicated and cool. I hope you figure your way through the puzzle!
Thoughtful post, Natalie. There is always more than one right answer in publishing —and life. But often we are those raccoons with our paws in the jar. Write on!
Indeed. You write on, too :-)
Natalie–Your post is so rich with insights and useful information that I am frustrated at having to choose just one point to comment on. But I choose your telling words about systems. I think we’ve all been conditioned to believe in them. From computers to cars to health care, the word “system” is applied. We end up prepped and ready to assume some system Out There is the Holy Grail for writing, for structure, productivity, networking. For me, this represents a wish to believe that unruly creativity can be turned into a kind of science. It will somehow systematize what is really the essence of what we do: passion. In the absence of that energy, that passion, no system or technique can do more than channel “development” of one more “product.”
Thanks for this. Your post is itself a defense against too much system,
Thank you so much Barry. Yes, for a person who loves to set up organizational systems at work, I’m leery of putting too much trust in a system. I’ve been to a number of writer’s gatherings in my hometown that were just vibrating with anxiety, with writer’s just asking about which way or working is the best, as if that would alleviate the anxiety. I’d rather embrace the unruliness of creativity.
I love this heartfelt post, Natalie. It clearly demonstrates how writers have an innate ability to self-reflect.
At the end of the day, you gotta follow your gut, knowing the next story is always within you, and a past story is never finished. As the cliche goes, the journey is the reward, so focus on enjoying whichever path you take.
Hugs
Dee
Thank you, Dee. Oh my goodness, I love this: “the next story is always within you, and a past story is never finished.” YES!
I never quit writing. The microprocessor God provided is always engaged. No, rather, I quit disciplining myself to sit down and compose. . I’ve learned to write for myself ans not for mythological readers. That’s the biggest difference for me from 20 years ago. I write to play with the words and concepts, not for others, but for myself. It’s the technology that boggles my mind. If I could master that, I’d have a Shakesperian list of credits.
Love this, JW! You’re finding your way through on your own terms. Whenever I have to learn new technology, I ask lots of direct questions to Google and see what comes up–I can usually find someone who will walk me through the new thing in minute detail. That, and I’ve just embraced that any new tech learning always involves swearing, yelling at the screen, and crying. I encourage you to keep trying :-)
The raccoon story really resonated with me because that was behind my thought process to go into self publishing. No, I’m not making big money, and I have had reviews calling me the best writer they’ve never heard of. I write well enough to earn semifinalist placements in some competitions, so, well…I just haven’t found my readers yet.
That said, I do have fans. And they are very loyal and dedicated. However, what I like about the selfpub route is the long tail. No, it’s not consistent, but I can tell when someone discovers–and loves–my series work, just by watching them buy one book or short story in the series, and then ends up buying the rest of the series. It’s a predictable pattern. Now if I could just get them to move on to my other books….
How wonderful that you have fans, and that when people find your work they want more from you! What a great feeling.
Great questions. This is why an author coach, who develops writers and their books, is money well spent. A coach shapes the choices you make. You gift them and your craft with your accountability.
Yes, I know some coaches and some writers who use coaches. That’s a great recommendation!
Thank you for an insightful post on limiting beliefs, self-image, and writing. I have left a couple of manuscripts and short stories safely tucked into their folders while thinking I’ll work on them later because another idea has popped in my head.
I used to feel ‘bad’ (a quitter), but realized that writing is an exercise not only a process of going from A to Z. Sometimes a story works, sometimes it doesn’t but writing those stories wasn’t a waste. They gave me practice, or led me to another story, or liberated me to write deeper.
I’ve finished ms’s too, one which debuts in June 2023.As a comment above said, the journey is the reward.
Your response speaks to me! Yes, an exercise, not only a process. And nothing is wasted. Thank you for this encouragement.
Count the costs. We have to determine what our idea of success is. If you want to make money at Indie publishing, write a bleepin’ great book with a super cover and blurb, then comes marketing. Just publishing on Amazon is like adding another drop to the ocean. You have to get the word out about your book(s) and that means finding eyeballs, eyeballs, eyeballs. If readers like your book and style, they’ll buy your backlist, too, so have one. The larger, the better.
100% If you’re going to go for it, you’ve got to go for it!
Natalie, I am currently choking from trying to sip from a firehose of marketing advice, procedures and yes, systems for launchiog and promoting a book, since I’ll be doing that later in the year. Much of the information is thoughtful and seemingly useful, though significant amounts are “without this approach, all is lost,” or “get a drip infusion of essential nutrients, because you won’t have time to eat” proscriptions.
Today I promised myself to go through this encyclopedia of sometimes conflicting—though as I say, sometimes helpful—counsel and whittle it down to a handbook. Or at least a pocket dictionary. I’m not going to give up the marketing for this book-to-be, but I am going to give up trying to learn every damn thing about launching it, because it will topple over on the launch pad from wearied confusion.
Thus, I am giving a hammer to the raccoon, who will smash the jar, yet only take what he needs.
Oh, I saw that I was attempting the “launchiog” of a book. No wonder I’m confused.
Sounds like the mission statement for a Real Self Publishing book. Working on that one, even while I edit my novel to a manageable size. I’d be glad for beta reads of the RSP book!
Oh my goodness, it’s such a firehose. I wish you an ocean of patience with yourself. Also, I will buy the hell out of that book as soon as it comes out — I love your writing!
Why, thanks Natalie—you made my day! Likely my week.
Natalie, I loved this post, how important it is to forge our way through this writing life, always choosing joy. Most recently I worked on a super-tight deadline project for a museum and it was such fun knowing that kids will be reading my story. Also, after giving up on marketing my self-published titles, I took another little step just for fun to see if my ad would garner any sales. After 20 years, I’ve let go of every single assumption you’ve mentioned and happier for it. I’m so grateful to be in a state of life where I can follow my mews.
Have a wonderful week starting on your new project. I love beginnings, all the possibilities. It’s funny, some projects come fully formed and others take years with distractions and detours but one thing I’ve learned is that things seem to happen when the time is right. Happy Easter!
Thank you, Vijaya. Your spirit of encouragement is always so welcome: “things seem to happen when the time is right.” Here’s to chasing that right time ;-)
Thank you! I am caught in a similar trap of working on one thing that is grinding along. For me too, your comments about doing things just for the love of them hit home. I wish I could “Like” some of the thoughtful replies too, but the system just unlikes them if I try…
So annoying when the backend of the website doesn’t cooperate. Here’s to moving through or past the grind, whichever works for us!
Thank you for this post, it’s good to have a reminder that sometimes the assumptions about what we should or have to do aren’t always accurate, and may even hold us back.
I’ve been trying to work on letting go of the idea that I have to only work on one book at a time. I am enjoying the book I’m revising, but I’m have an itch to write something of a different flavor and keep on pushing aside that inclination due to the deeply built in idea that I should only work on one at a time. Clinging to that supposition has been damaging my ability to continue with my main WIP as well.
“Itch” is the right word–this new story has been itching me for a couple of years. It’s that dynamic of working of neither that I experienced, too. Here’s to figuring out how to move forward with *something*!
I just finished reading a JSTOR article featuring a selection of poetry by some members of the New York School. Here’s Bernadette Mayer who published her stream of consciousness “Moving” in 1971: ” ‘Moving’ was written as an attempt to write only when absolutely necessary. I was certain I didn’t want to write out of desire for a job, something to do, or, worse, love of being an artist…” Meaning, of course, that motivation is a critical component of endeavor.
Ah yes, motivation can be such a mindf*@&.
Great Post and very helpful, Natalie, thank you! I have put aside a book project that had occupied my mind for years. It’s shelved, not deleted, and I think I will come back to it at one point, maybe in a modified version. I realised I was not ready yet to tackle it. I don’t feel stressed by the thought of it waiting for me, it is more like a promise for the future. – As for traditional publishing, I am still at the very beginning of trying to find a publisher, but the idea of self publishing is not alien to me. So we will see. … And feeling successful? That’s a tricky one :-)))
Thank you. I like that language, “shelved, not deleted.”
Wow, the wisdom gathered here. Thank you. I’ve learned and embraced many of these over my years on this journey. Some are still TBD for me, haha.
Thank you, Kristan. SO many things are TBD for me, too, or TBRUIFGI (to be repeated until I finally get it)!
I came across this via an IWSG Twitter post and just wanted to say ‘Thank you’! Great post and a lot of truth here. The section on getting published really resonated. Thanks again!