A Fork in the Writerly Road
By Kim Bullock | October 25, 2021 |
A few months ago, my younger daughter, then not-quite-sixteen, requested to drop out of high school.
A rising junior and easily in the top 2% of her class, she had learned from home since March of 2020. Unfortunately, Texas law required all students back in the classroom this fall, pandemic be damned. Despite the way she noticeably bristled each time we drove by the school building and the crying emoji drawn on the calendar square for August 17th, I thought she was resigned to returning.
I was wrong.
After considering every possible objection her father and I could have and preparing counterarguments for each point, she presented her case. With SAT and Texas Success Initiative exam scores qualifying her for college, we could not dispute that high school classes were academically pointless. She couldn’t care less about football rivalries, prom or walking the stage wearing purple and gold in 2023. Attending community college would allow her the flexibility to work, she reasoned, and work would force her to engage with people, something she did not do while surrounded by peers who seemed years younger than she felt. There were the financials to consider, too. Dallas County waives tuition for homeschoolers. That’s two years of free college.
Within a couple of weeks she had seamlessly morphed into a transitional adult with a license, car, Dallas College ID, and a barista job at one of our favorite coffee shops. Her confidence has grown as fast as her bank account.
Traditional schooling may be the most accepted path to getting an education, but there are alternate routes leading to the same destination. Students who are neurodivergent, quirky, have learning difficulties or, who, like my daughter, can’t be challenged in the era of No Child Left Behind, may thrive taking the scenic road alone rather than being funneled from point A to point B by way of crowded expressway.
Her transformation, and the vastly improved mental health that came with it, got me to pondering something in my own life. Why could I embrace her points about education without hesitation, yet I’ve spent decades of my life stuck on the traditional publishing on-ramp, refusing to acknowledge that it may be wiser to circumnavigate the gridlock than wait for it to clear? This stubbornness has persisted even when author friends who had been lucky enough to merge into traffic years ago now reported back that the road was riddled with vicious potholes and that unexpected lane closures often diverted traffic onto the shoulders.
“Sure, I’m on here,” they’d confide, “but only those driving Land Rovers are being invited past the construction right now. I’m in a Honda, so I’m parked, too.”
I bought into the idea, popular back when I started writing, that traditional publishing was the only way to go. That if I followed the advice of one of my English professors and threw enough mud at a post, eventually some of it would stick. What my professor didn’t mention, or perhaps didn’t know since he died before e-mail queries even became a thing, is that the post in question would be continuously sprayed by a fire hose for all but five random minutes a month.
I’ve been throwing mud since before my older daughter was born. She’s now 20.
My family stopped watching what any sane person would call an exercise in futility years ago. They don’t even ask about my writing anymore. I can’t decide whether I’m more relieved or devastated by this.
My arm is tired.
Worse, my soul is tired.
Like my daughter, I’m at a crossroads and I now understand that those imaginary neon billboards in my mind – the ones advertising six-figure book contracts and heaping doses of validation – are just that. Advertisements. Actual results may vary. I also concede that the indie route is now a completely respectable way to publish one’s work, and that many writers who might otherwise have been overlooked have found success taking that approach. It may, in fact, come with perks I had not previously taken into enough consideration, such as complete creative freedom.
I’ve spent the last couple months pondering tough questions about how to best dig myself out of this writerly Slough of Despond. I offer them here in case they are of any help to others who find themselves similarly floundering.
- If publishing frustrations were out of the equation, do you still want to write? Is there anything else you could be happy doing?
- What are your true publishing goals? Fame and fortune? To make a modest living? Simply to hold a printed and bound copy of your book in your hands?
- Is your prose the best it can be? If not, what classes or workshops can you take? What critique groups can you join?
- Have you written a story you wholeheartedly believe in even if it’s been rejected by fifty or even a hundred agents?
- If yes, will you be able to fully commit to another project before that story has in some way been launched into the world?
- Have you explored small, independent publishers?
- Do you have writer friends who have already traveled the path you are considering? Are they willing to offer advice of things to do and pitfalls to avoid?
- Are you opposed to taking toll-roads to get where you want to go?
- If not, how much money can you realistically invest up front for things like professional editing, cover design, and marketing? How about an audiobook narrator? Website designer? Can you do any of this yourself?
- How important is it that you earn all that money back?
- Do you know people who can help get the word out to more than just family and friends, if that is important to you?
- Would your story dovetail into any niche markets? How might you exploit that?
Have you considered (or chosen) alternate paths to publication? Do you feel you successfully met or exceeded your goals by doing so? If you were to do things again, would you choose differently? Do you have other questions that should be considered?
[coffee]
Kim (she/her) has an M.A. in English from Iowa State University. She writes mainly historical fiction, though has also contributed non-fiction articles to historical and Arts and Crafts publications in both the United States and Canada. She has just finished The Oak Lovers, a novel based on the rather colorful life of her great-grandfather, landscape painter Carl Ahrens.
Great questions, Kim. I’ll just answer the first two:
1. Writing: yes. Anything else: no.
2. In between your third and fourth choices: to get my book into the hands of its intended readers, who are waiting for it eagerly even though they don’t yet know it.
Hi Anna,
My life would be so much easier if I COULD be happier doing something else or if I COULD commit to another project while the story of my heart sits on my hard drive, unread.
Hope we both get our books where they need to be.
Kim, I can’t begin to tell you how much I LOVED this profound, brave, and eloquent piece.
I went on a similar journey, though mine came from a different source—a different analogy—which was the path to motherhood. My journey to the identity of “mother” through adoption, rather than through the path I had imagined, was liberating and empowering, and I’m no less a “mother” than those who arrived by a different route. That prepared me, more than anything else, for my journey to the identity of “author,” though an alternative but equally authentic route.
Like you, I faced the questions: “What do I want? What will I give—embrace—and give up to achieve the goals of my heart?” You’ve expressed them so well, dear Kim, and all who read your piece will benefit.
Hi Barbara,
Thank you for your comment. The mother analogy certainly works as well.
One thing I did not mention in my post since it is specific to my novel, is that right now I have a lot of contacts in Canada who have been anxiously waiting for this book for decades and they know a lot of people they would spread the news to. The most influential people of those are getting quite elderly now. I’m definitely hearing a ticking clock.
I’ve been on the traditional highway for twenty books, currently at a rest stop. I’ve had a flat tire, been caught in the rush hour traffic jam, have had a stalled engine but never have I run out of gas.
I would write even if not published and the toll road is not the highway. The stories of taking that road are sad and the numbers tell me that although the highway is hard the toll road is like playing Lotto. Only romance writers on speed are making it, maybe a handful of others who number far fewer than the 6000 or so novelists who are traditionally published every year.
If the bar is high, I try to jump over it but that’s not why I’m in this game or here typing to you. I write because I love to. Period. Because you write so beautifully, Kim, I pray that you continue to write no matter what road you’re on, as well. You need that and we need you. Write on.
Benjamin,
Thank you for your kind words.
That Lotto analogy is exactly why I have stubbornly stuck to my guns about the traditional path for so long, and exactly why I struggle now.
I have not entirely made up my mind, though there are a few things that make me realize I have to at least consider my options here. I didn’t put them in my post because they are specific to me, but can say so here.
1) I’ve been at this a long time and done all the “right” things. I’ve written multiple novels to practice craft. I’ve found mentors in my genre. I have a kick ass story, told well, and I am the only one who can tell it. I have kick ass beta readers who don’t pull punches. I have promised blurbs from three authors in my genre, two of which are bestsellers. I have a platform and contacts galore who would help get the word out and get the book into shops novels don’t often get into – such as art gallery bookstores. I have a compelling query letter and synopsis. I can’t think of a single thing I haven’t done that should at least make an agent perk up and say ‘send me pages.’ It’s mostly crickets out there. The ones who do request rave about the story, the characters, the prose, my connection to the story, but they don’t know editors who would take the risk.
2) I’ve known I was going to write this book since I was eight, and it’s damn good. I could brush off the rejection of earlier novels and move on to new projects. I have sixty pages of a new book started now, but I’ve been sitting at that spot since COVID started and I am absolutely crippled. As I said in the post – my arm is tired. My soul is tired.
3) Writing is what I’m good at. There is nothing else I want to do, or I would be doing it, trust me. The lack of validation, even from family members, is giving me an identity crisis. I need a yes. I need for a splatter of that mud to stick to that damn post.
Kim … As they say in the south, “Good Godamighty.” You deserve so much better than what you’ve received from the industry. Time to get off the roller coaster. There’s a better way, and many of us are finding it. It’s not easy, but how easy has this been? You’re still young. Make the change now. Don’t put off the inevitable. Do you really think traditional publishing will get easier? Find someone to partner with to be your marketing-publishing-social media guru. You’re a great storyteller. You deserve better.
Thank you, Pamela! I’m not as young as I look, which is part of why I’m struggling. Also, so many of my well-connected contacts are downright elderly now. They may not be around much longer.
All the more reason to not waste another minute with traditional publishing. I’m in your age boat. I realized over a year ago the professional literary contacts I made the last 20 years have done very little for me. Other than a dozen or so great blurbs by best-selling authors, all the New York literary big shots are a waste of time. My focus has moved solely to my readers. I’m in control. I will never live within those constraints again. And it feels good. Real good.
And yet, somehow, my literary agency represents several hundred authors getting paid for their writing and many making a living at it. Not a waste of time for them, perhaps?
They earn 10% of royalties, which means many of them probably have a second job or can’t support their families solely on what they earn (not specifically your authors, but trad published in general). I can :). I earn six figures, but 10% of even $200,000 is only $20,000. Not great for the author. I didn’t wait for someone else to green light my dream. I did it myself. Kim if you want help or have questions, hit me up (I’m on Facebook and Twitter). Happy to help another author get where they want to go, or at least explain how it all works so you can make an informed decision on whether you want to pursue a path which you control. Happy to talk figures, advertising costs etc. It’s not impossible at all, and way more common than you might think, especially if your writing is where it needs to be. (I write paranormal cozy mysteries.)
Thanks for this article, Kim. Since I find myself in a very similar situation, I feel nourished and supported by it.
I’ve stopped throwing my mud at the post with the fire hose, and for my unpublished MS I’ll spend a quarter of my time/energy to work my way through some smaller presses which don’t require agent representation.
With the rest of my time/energy my creative focus is on getting down a story that’s really important for me to finish.
Hi Lloyd,
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I’m glad the post resonated with you.
I am most likely going to try the small press approach first. I just revamped the website about my protagonist (a real person – overlooked artist) and next on my list is to revamp my author site. Once those look great, I will dig into research about small presses.
Good luck on your WIP!
Thank you for this post, Kim. Wish I could buy us two cups of joe and drink them at that crossroads as we figure out a different path. A path that, as Anna said above, gets our books into the hands of readers. Because that is all I want!
Valerie,
I’m always up for coffee!
I haven’t entirely made up my mind, but I am definitely at the point where I’m consulting GPS for alternate routes. Seems prudent since I’ve been parked here a long time.
Hope you find the right path for YOU.
Hey Kim – It’s a really solid set of questions, and I’m glad you’re asking them. I’m happy that you’re solidly considering indy, and not just because I’ve finally decided to take the plunge. It’s as Anna so beautifully expresses above–your book absolutely must get “into the hands of its intended readers, who are waiting for it eagerly even though they don’t yet know it.” My gut tells me that she’s right about hers, and I’m 100% positive it’s true of yours.
As I’ve said, please never hesitate to call on me, for whatever help or guidance I might be able to offer, and I’ll shout out to warn you about any potholes I encounter. And, as always, please know that mine is a safe shoulder you can pull off onto, just to get clear of the chaos and maybe rant about it over a cuppa.
Wonderful and helpful post. Wishing you all the success–however you come to define it–that you deserve, my friend.
Thank you so much, Vaughn. You and Therese have absolutely been my life line through this and I am so, so, lucky to have you in my corner. So wish I could come up to stay in the FROG for a week or so and clear my head.
My first order of business, now that the Carl site is done, is to rework (again) my author site. After that, I just want to see what my small press options are. I want to weigh all options before I make up my mind.
You’re always welcome. :) You’ve got this, Kim!
I’m glad your daughter’s unexpected decision has given you such nourishing food for thought. As someone who’s been self-publishing since 2011, I have occasional wonders about the (to borrow your metaphor) clogged and bumpy highway not taken, but I am consistently grateful that I’ve been able to publish at will.
Hi Karen,
I’d be more patient if I felt like the traffic moved at all. I’m not getting any younger.
Glad your alternate path seems to have worked for you!
Beyond my feeling of “woohoo! Go, Kim!” what I take from this empowering essay is that it’s important to assess the road you’re on every once in a while. Are you moving? In the right direction? Or are you stuck? Who do you know that might help you out of the ditch so that you can Drive On?
I’m so glad for your progress, and I’m here for you. Write On, Kim.
Hi T,
As I said to Vaughn, you two have been my lifeline, reminding me who I am when I question what the point of all this is.
I think that all the roads have potholes and roadblocks. At this point, though, it seems unwise not to at least consult GPS and see if there’s a better way.
KIM, BRAVO. you have given me so much to think about. Wishing you and your daughter the absolute best.
Thank you so much, Beth!
She’s thriving. Best decision ever. This kid has always known her own mind, and I’m glad she felt empowered to speak up and find a solution to a situation that didn’t work for her. I need to follow that lead.
Bravo! One of the most refreshing posts I have ever read on this site. Even traditionally published authors are jumping off that hamster wheel.
After decades of study, wearing out two cars traveling the country from one writing conference to the next, I have teamed up with my marketing guru husband to place my work into reader’s laps. No more agents, or waiting months for some suit in a big house to send their form rejection.
Even after three traditionally published books, I am done with “traditionally published.”
It’s a great time to be a writer!
Thank you, Pamela, and I’m very glad that there are options. When I first started writing, self-publishing was there, but it was highly frowned upon and seen as something you only do if you can’t cut it otherwise. I’m glad attitudes have changed because there are many deserving books that would never see the light of day otherwise.
I’m so glad for your daughter, Kim, and I’m impressed by the deep evaluation you are doing. Whatever road you choose, I’m here, cheering you on!
Thank you, Liz! Wish we could have a good chat over tea right now. I had no idea how badly I needed all this validation I’m getting today.
This was a wonderful post, Kim. I hit that fork in the road several years ago when I realized my (now former) agent wasn’t a good match for me. She couldn’t sell what I was writing and I couldn’t write what she could sell.
Your questions are all really good ones. For me, the creative control and having the opportunity to have my stories find their readers was far more important than how the stories got there.
If you decide to go the indie route, I hope you know I’m here to help you in any way you need.
Thank you, Lisa!
I’m still very much in the exploring stage right now, but I am at a point where I am willing to give real consideration to all choices. I also revamped my website on Carl and will start working on my author site again tomorrow. Things like that needed to be done no matter what I choose and it is FORWARD momentum. I haven’t felt that in a very long time.
Kim, thanks for sharing your decision making process. I’m in a similar place. I’m getting no traction in my quest for traditional publishing. Yet I don’t have the time to do the marketing necessary to successfully publish independently. The questions you pose are excellent! Thanks again!
I hear you! Marketing everything yourself when you have other things going on (like a day-job) definitely would be a big challenge.
I haven’t decided anything for sure yet, but it really worries me when well-established authors in my genre say they are having trouble selling biographical fiction right now.
Hi Kim, I am also facing that fork in the road. It was a lonely place until I read your post and then read the comments. Now I’m feeling hopeful. And I’m filled with questions. Indie press? Hybrid press? Or go hellbent and self-publish? After five long years of finding an agent and then waiting for pub houses to respond to my agent’s queries, and then hearing things like “well-written, but we don’t think it is saleable,” or “nobody is interested in the Middle Ages anymore” or “this deserves to be published but ….”, I’m DONE. It’s a scary place but the idea of controlling the various pieces is very exciting. And the idea that I will finally reach readers who don’t yet know that they want my book is absolutely thrilling. If only I could get rid of my inner critic who says I’m a loser because I can’t publish with the Big Five. Well, I’m working on kicking her to the curb. Thanks Kim and everyone.
I relate to every word of this Lorraine. That inner critic about the Big Five is very loud, and it is that feeling of failure, I am sure, that has given me such a severe block against being able to write at all. This post took me three days to write and I was (figuratively) banging my head against the wall with every sentence.
The things is that I KNOW this story is worthy, an opinion backed up by authors who write books that would share the same readers. I know the silence isn’t about me or my project or some failure on my part. It’s the industry.
As I said in another comment, this standstill has given me an identity crisis. I need a yes. I need for even a splatter of mud to stick to that post even if I have to block the firehose to accomplish this.
To the list of questions posed in your post what strikes me to add is this: if the world (read traditional publishing and perhaps even readers) finds me, my story, my dreams inconsequential (and thus unpublishable), what is my answer to this? Do I still say I am happy, worthy, so fully me that I might explode? Or am I afraid of something? If I am afraid, I cannot know what the problem truly is. Why? Because if I were not afraid, the problem, well, I wouldn’t think of it as a problem at all. Sometimes—despite many achievements and proof of self—you figure out that you’ve still given some power away. Taking it back, by shedding unhelpful beliefs, recreates the ground needed to make purchase.
Great piece, Kim!
Although I’m still considering traditional publishing, I’m thinking small press (assuming I can get out of the slump I’m in and finish the damn story!) is suitable for my story. But during these last 15 months, I’ve learned to never say never. When I first started freelancing, I said, “I’ll never work for anyone else. I’m on my own.” Well, I’m job hunting because on my own as a writer is barely paying the bills and I actually work harder to make ends meet or to get paid on time. So is indie publishing a possibility? Sure, why not? I may get more readers that way and maybe the second book (if I still have another one in me) will go the traditional way. You never know.
Hi Rebeca,
I will probably look into small press first to see what the options are, but all options are now on the table.
Good luck on your path to deciding what is best for YOU!
How rational of you to deal with your daughter’s dilemma the way you did! Great parenting. As for writing and my objective in getting published . . . I’m self-published (couldn’t get an agent), and my editing and book-design clients are either self-publishers or contracted with small publishers that amount to self-publishing. For me, the goal/why is to share with people a story that they enjoy. That’s it. If my novel entertains you, that’s a score for me — and you. Thank you for sharing your journey, it’s good to hear.
My daughter is sixteen going on forty and smarter than I am. Not kidding – she’s in MENSA. In high school she was the kid who sat off to the side of the room always knowing the answers and never offering them. She was invisible and miserable. As a parent, it would have felt wrong to tell my teenager that no, she could not take more challenging classes and get a job. What kid asks for more responsibility like that? She’s still snoozing through classes and acing them, but at least they count for college credit, and the job has put her in a much better mental state.
I have not entirely decided what I’m doing, but am now willing to see that I really do have options, and that I do not have to continue to be parked on the on-ramp if there are better options out there.
Oh, Kim, my heart raced reading this. I write because I love to do so. I’m also in the process of carving out a small and comfortable niche. I don’t see myself on an alternative road as much as creating one. My hope would be a small to moderate return on my work.
At my age, I don’t have the time or inclination to sit in a traffic jam. That isn’t to say that I don’t work hard at my craft. I put in full days, seven days per week. I’m alone, have now retired, and simply love what I do that much.
There’s the adage that if you don’t see the book on the shelf you want to read, then write it. Well, if I want to reach a destination no one else has found I’m not going to find it at the end of the road everyone else is taking. Likewise, I don’t want my unique destination to be reshaped so it resembles someone else’s vision.
Such wise words, Christina and I love the idea of creating a road. I relate so much to all of this. I was okay sitting in the traffic jam in my 20’s and even my 30s, but now I am quickly nearing the half century mark and am no closer to getting a book on the shelf through traditional means. This, even though the writing is exponentially stronger and I’ve done all the things that should at least earn me agent requests. The crickets make it difficult see the point of bleeding onto a page every day. Yet I know I won’t be happy doing anything else.
I have never regretted self-publishing. I’ve published sixteen books in six years, and I’m learning more about publishing, marketing (and, of course, writing) every day. Packaging and marketing your own books isn’t easy, and I’ve made more mistakes than I can count. But having complete control over all of that—the mistakes as well as the successes—makes me feel like my career is in my own hands, and the limits are only what I choose for them to be. Good luck, whatever path you choose.
Thank you, Linda! I needed that pep-talk. Its great to hear from someone who has traveled that road and not regretted it.
I walked away from the Indie game a couple of years ago because the potholes on the toll road are no joke. Under a pen name, I released thirteen novels in four years and burned myself out twice. The most time consuming part of my job wasn’t writing or even production. It was marketing.
The Indie path is great for people who love marketing, thrive on social media, have consistent hustle, and are able to turn on a dime. Thanks to constant changes on platforms like Amazon and Facebook, I often felt like I was trying to build a hut in a hurricane.
Meanwhile, I resented what my career had turned into. When I was a little girl, I didn’t dream about becoming a full-time author so I could spend my days working on email onboarding systems and evaluating the CPC of my BookBub ads and optimizing my back matter and and and.
The worst part, for me, was having to table any writing project that didn’t fit into the brand or have the potential to make enough money to justify the time it took to write and launch it into the world. It didn’t make fiscal sense to write one epic fantasy in the time it took to write an entire four-book romance series.
As with the traditional highway, writing chops are not enough to ensure success, including just enough success to get your writing into the hands of its intended readers. Yes, even this relatively low bar still takes some skill to clear. Nevermind the kind of success that earns a living.
The Indie path can be a great option for some writers and for most kinds of writing (literary, upmarket, and children’s books are still best left in the hands of trad houses until there is some Indie infrastructure in place to reach readers of those books.) Just know that the Indie route still requires dedication and learning and there are plenty of conferences to attend to wear out those tires.
My recommendations are Inlers Con, Business Masterclass with Dean Wesley Smith and Kristine Kathryn Rusch, and NINC (once you meet the income requirements to attend). All fantastic conferences that will give you a look at the many different Indie paths along with serious skill sets for the journey. Meanwhile, read business books by Joanna Penn, Dean and Kris, Chris Fox… there are others. Develop friendships with other Indies. It’s a wonderfully supportive community. There’s also a little of the blind leading the blind, so be wise and take advice from people who are where you’re trying to go.
For the love of Pete, do NOT pay ANY publisher money to publish your book, including those that sell it as a service and let you keep your copyrights. You will regret it. Instead, realize this expensive shortcut will do nothing but delay you. When that publishing service lets you down you will still end up taking the time to learn how to format, upload, and hire cover artists.
(Your cover artist should have a proven track record in your subgenre NOT be your uber-talented and cheap friend/family member/Fiverr sucker who doesn’t know jack about cover design. Also, it will be difficult to know which person to hire unless you get educated about cover design yourself.)
I managed to avoid the mistake of hiring a publishing service but every time someone I know excitedly tells me they’re jumping into the publishing world and have already hired a publisher, I want to pull my hair out.
None of this is meant to sway anyone away from the Indie path, if that’s what they want to do. Really. It could be exactly what they needed. Just know it isn’t an easy answer either.
I have a good handful of friends who make decent money this way and enjoy all the stuff I hated. I know countless others who are attempting to cross the country on the toll road with four flat tires and their last handful of trail mix.
Lastly, I do want to raise a glass to you and your daughter for having the wisdom to know there is more than one viable path and for the courage to take a different road than the one you had originally planned.
Wow, thank you so much for all of this, Donna. That gives me a lot to think about. At this point, I have not fully decided what I’m going to do. The first order of business is to get myself excited about doing anything writing related again. The logical thing was to revamp websites. It needed to be done no matter which option I choose. Next will be to do some honest research into smaller presses, which I’ve never tried. The self-publishing option is on the table now, but its not the first thing I’m inclined to reach for. If it comes down to the difference between having this book in the world or not, though, my sanity may require me to go that route.
It’s wonderful when our children can be *our* inspiration :-)
I’ve gone through this interior negotiation, myself. Working through wanting the approval and validation of being traditionally published, and wanting to have someone else take on the parts of the process I didn’t understand. There was also a little bit of being the child of an entrepreneur–I knew how much work it was to do everything.
It wasn’t until a friend told the story of raccoons, who will stick their paw into a small receptacle to grab something they want, and then can’t get their paw out; if they dropped the thing, they’d get their paw out, but they can’t give up the thing and are stuck. I felt like that raccoon, holding tightly to being traditionally published, and being stuck as a result. When I dropped that shiny thing, I was free to choose my path and choose myself.
Yes, it’s loads of works and so many teeny tiny decisions, and everything is up to me, but I’m so glad I went with indie publishing.
Much love to you as you continue negotiating with yourself!
Love the racoon story!
Both of my kids are old souls and have taught me so much. Their bravery and how well they know themselves astounds me sometimes. My older daughter had been grumbling for about a year that she was unhappy with her job, but she kept sticking it out because it paid well for a college job. It was physically demanding, though, and they kept scheduling her for way too many hours. I told her to be all means look for something else. One day she called to tell me she had put in her notice, though she had absolutely nothing else lined up. I was mad initially, since she needs a part-time job to avoid college loans, but then she told me her reasoning. “Job hunting is a huge anxiety trigger for me, Mom,” she said. “I won’t do it unless I have no choice. As long as I had the safety net of my old job, I had a choice.” Sure enough, within a month she had a job at a therapy center working with autistic children and seems much, much happier.
Thank you for sharing your story and for the encouraging words!
A lotta soul in this one, Kim. (And I love that your daughter’s turn in the road gave you an opening to reassess.) If publishing frustrations were banished, I’d certainly still write, because there’s electricity in working with words, and I’m still pleasantly shocked when they make good connections.
But I’ve gone nowhere in getting traditionally published, despite long hours working on queries and proposals and researching agents and publishers. I did have a book of short stories published by a small press, but like all my books, it hasn’t gone anywhere with gaining an audience.
As Donna says above (and has been said at WU more than once), marketing is a rigorous endeavor all its own, and writers who skip the trad publishing route are going to be exercised aplenty by all there is to do there. I’ve done a fair amount of that for my stuff, but haven’t done it that well, and it shows.
But I’m still proud of my work (though that first book should likely have remained in its diapers). I working on a memoir now that will get the copyediting and cover design it deserves, and since I’m backing off of some of my obligations in the new year to come, I’ll give more attention to the marketing. Which means pizza and Lululemon leggings with every copy.
Thanks for expressing complicated feelings with verve and insight.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Tom. I’m glad to see that people are being up front about the good, the bad, and the ugly. U haven’t made any definite decisions yet about what to do, but I do know that my current path is not working.
Thanks for sharing your story, Kim. It resonated with a lot of us.
I’ve bounced between Indie and traditional publishing, glad that a few of my books were released by a small publisher and got nice reviews from PW and LJ.
Early on in the self-publishing, I made a few mistakes and learned from them for subsequent books.
1. Editing – I now hire a pro to edit even though I am a freelance editor.
2. Formatting – I tried to learn how to format for all the retail outlets for e-books and print. Finally learned it was better and wiser to pay a pro.
3. Cover – After trial and error with my cover artist, I finally understood the uniqueness of cover design. It’s so much different from other graphic art.
4. Marketing – UGH!! Takes up too much time and is something I really don’t like to do. Still, so much of promoting and marketing is the responsibility of an author even with traditional publishing.
Whatever you decide to do with your novel, I wish you well.
Maryann,
Yes, so many of things things seem very daunting to even consider taking on. From the sound of things, at least from the marketing standpoint, it seems many of my traditionally published friends still have to do a lot of the work themselves.
I have not entirely made up my mind about what to do, but at least I can admit that I’m stuck and that something needs to change.
This is great, Kim. Really great.
Peggy
PS Happy for your daughter! My daughter chose to go to a different high school than the one where we live. She had very much the same transition into being happier than ever before. It is so very special when they – and we – find the right path.
That’s excellent news about your daughter. I know for mine, this was absolutely the right choice. I hate to think about how low she’d be right now if she had not been able to do this. As a parent it would have felt nuts to tell a teenager that no, they can’t move on when they are academically ready to do so, and that they can’t have a job if they want one.
Thanks for chiming in!
Oh Kim, I feel your pain. I had the same problem. For two years I queried agents and those publishers who accepted direct queries. The rejections poured in. Many of them were accompanied by personal notes, ‘we love your poetic voice but it’s not for us’, or ‘there isn’t enough romance’, or ‘it’s a bit too dark for our readers’, and on and on. I eventually found an agent willing to represent me. He worked for a year to sell my manuscript without success.
Discouraged, I took several months off to pout. I still felt I had a good story and eventually picked myself up off the floor and approached small presses. It all began again. No, no, no. Finally, I queried a Canadian independent literary publisher. After waiting about six months I gave them a nudge, expecting all was lost. But this time I heard, “Good thing you called. The board is meeting at the end of the week to decide on your novel”. It was the longest week I’d ever spent. I was jumping out of my skin with anxiety. Then the call came. “Have a glass of wine. The board was unanimous. We’re publishing your novel!”.
I would urge you to give small presses a try. Validation by professionals can be an incredible boost. You sound like a tenacious gal, so keep pursuing your dream of publication. We’re all rooting for you.
Hi Linnea,
It’s funny that you mentioned it was a Canadian independent publisher. You see, my novel’s protagonist (also my great-grandfather) is a noted Canadian landscape painter – a contemporary of the Group of Seven. Canadian agents and publishers are obviously a place where the book may get attention. A potential pitfall for me, though, is that I was born 200 miles too far south and am, therefore, not Canadian myself.
Congratulations on the sale of your book! Small presses are definitely still on the table for me.
You and your daughter deserve The Congressional Medal of Insight with Oak Leaf Clusters for Courage in the Face of Whatever.
Your questions are so helpful, and to a newbie like me, so are your list of the things you’ve done to qualify your MS for agency and publication. And here I thought all I had to do was tell a good story and tell it well.
Whichever way you decide to go, I wish you great success. It sounds like you’ve earned it.
You crack me up, Bob!
I don’t think you have to do all the things I did. I did a lot of platform building when I originally thought this novel was going to be creative nonfiction. Agents wouldn’t expect newbies to have blurbs. I did think it would help that I had them, though.
Kim, it’s good to evaluate the road we’re on on a regular basis and how wonderful that your daughter’s desires helped you ask the necessary question for your own path. The wonderful thing about publishing is that there are different avenues. I publish both traditionally and independently.
The first time I took the plunge into self-publishing was when I could not get an agent or a publisher for my novel (for 2 years). It remains the best thing I’ve written. I was busy writing other things as well, and selling them, but yeah, this was different. A work of my heart that I could not abandon. So I chose to self-publish it. Zero regrets. I just wish I’d done it sooner because I’d be that much ahead. But I also realize I wasn’t ready back when I was in queryland. I did recoup the costs incurred within 3 months. So there’s that.
During the pandemic, I had a trade picture book out, and three little EZ readers that I published myself with line drawings from my daughter. I had such fun learning how to make these other books. I enjoyed every bit of the process. But I’ve still not broken even. I need to learn marketing. I think of it as the third essential leg of this business–writing, publishing, marketing.
It’s a great time to be writing. And if it’s a timely topic, you can’t afford to wait for someone else to choose your story. Sometimes you have to choose yourself. I wish you luck and strength and friends along this journey. Thanks for a wonderful post.
Hi Vijaya,
The book in question isn’t timely as in it needs to be out now to meet a trend of some sort. It is just one that I knew I would write since childhood and it is the story that I always had in my head as being my breakout novel. I have send so much time and energy on it, on building a platform for it, and having it remain as nothing more than a document sitting in Dropbox is really messing with my confidence and mental health.
I have not fully decided what I will do, but I am weighing all my options now so I can make an educated decision instead of a reactionary one.
I love the story about your daughter! More power to her, and to you. I will share my own experience being self-published in case it’s of help.
I tried to get an agent and/or a publisher early on in my writing “career” and found it slow and frustrating, so as soon as I bought my first Kindle and found out about self-publishing, I was on it. In 2011 I already had 2 manuscripts of my mystery series ready to go.
I’m quite an “independent independent” with good computer skills and a marketing background, so I was happy to do everything myself, on Smashwords initially. I learned more as I went along. However, I am lucky enough to have a professional graphics guy in the family, and he has done my covers. My first 2 books came out 10 years ago.
I am now working on the 6th novel in the series. I’m not a very disciplined writer, so that’s why I haven’t managed to produce a roughly 100,000 word book a year, which should be quite doable. Marketing is always an issue, but BookBub promotions have been a great way to get my books noticed by more readers. More readers yields more reviews and fortunately my average rating on my series books ranges from a respectable 4.1 to 4.5 on Amazon and most other platforms.
I am retired and live in Canada, so I don’t have to rely on selling my books for income, but I do manage to get a modest monthly income from my (mostly ebook) sales, which is boosted to over $1K in the months following a promo. I now have one of my books translated to German and another one released as an audiobook.
I had heard so many stories of writers having their first book traditionally published but never making more than their first modest advance before being dropped by their publisher. Then they had the hassle of getting their rights back, or would find it necessary to use a pen name and start a new series. I loved the concept of my mystery series and didn’t want to take a chance on losing control of its future due to a publishing contract, so self-publishing option was a no-brainer for me.
Sometimes I think it would be great to be traditionally published, and that I’d be more a more disciplined writer if my deadlines were set by a publisher rather than by me. I wonder, too, if my series would be more successful (and I could get rich!) with a publishing house behind me, but I’m okay with staying self-published.
Best of luck to you! (If you want to hear more about my experience privately, feel free to get in touch through my website.)
Thank you for sharing your story and I may be getting in touch if I choose to go that route.
I have not fully decided one way or the other, but hearing stories from traditionally published authors who feel they are still expected to do all the marketing and promo themselves does give me pause.
The subject of my novel is a Canadian (and an ancestor) who was an artist – a contemporary of the Group of Seven. This leaves me with a bit of a dilemma as well. Agents and publishers within Canada may be more interested. Unfortunately, I was born 200 miles too far south, though, so if they are hoping to take on Canadian clients, I don’t meet the criteria.
Enjoyed your article! As an aside, are you aware that Dallas College is the first community college in Texas to offer a 4-year bachelor’s degree? It started this semester with a degree in education…and it’s at a fraction of the cost of tuition anywhere else! Woot woot!
Best of luck to you and your daughter as you each forge your own path!
Hi Diane,
I did not know that about Dallas College! My older daughter graduated from there a couple of years ago and transferred to UNT in Denton. We were shocked that all of her credits transferred and many of the psychology classes she needs for her degree were waived because the course she took at D.C. was close enough. The younger one wants to major in business, and I know she’ll want to move out and be on her own after a couple more years. Good to know, though!
As a parent, I admire the open-mindedness with which you approached your daughter’s request, and it sounds like things are working out great!
As a writer, I’ve definitely asked myself those same questions. In this day and age, I think most writers should. Various circumstances in my life mean that currently I don’t need to have the answers — I’m in a sort of holding pattern, thanks to my young kids and the pandemic — but soon (I hope) this will all be relevant again.
Hi Kristan,
The pandemic certainly put things on hold for me as well, especially during the part where both kids were still home. Now that one is off at college and the other is home (and in college) I have a lot more time on my hands. I’ve run out of excuses for ignoring my work now.
Kim, you’re getting lots of sage advice here, on which I cannot improve. But I do want to congratulate your daughter and you for devising and implementing such a perfect Plan B for her situation. That’s brilliant on her part, and some damn fine parenting on your part.
The fact that you’re extrapolating on that experience to rethink your own options also shows there’s no shortage of smart in your family. Whatever path(s) you choose, good luck!
Hi Keith,
Well, I had already navigated the challenges that came with gifted kid number one, and already knew that it hadn’t hurt her a bit to have finished high school at the community college. In her case, she had to be homeschooled because of dance injuries and all the medical crap that came after that.
In the case of gifted kid number two, I knew that she is sixteen going on forty and that being trapped with a bunch of kids her age is utter hell socially. Academically high school was a waste of time and energy. So far college is also breeze, but at least she’s not going to have to repeat US history in a couple of years. A lot of kids her age wouldn’t be able to handle four college classes and a 25 hour a week job, but that’s what she wanted. She’s a transitional adult now, and that’s how I parent her.
I learn just as much from my kids as they learn from me. They have both made me a better, braver person.
Six years ago I self-published my first book because I believed it was a quirky story that probably would never find representation and I wanted it to be available to people to read and enjoy. My feelings have always been that writing is a transaction between writer and reader, and why bother writing a story if it’s never going to be read. My second book (which is the second in the series of my first) I put on Wattpad so people who wanted to read it could, but as it doesn’t have as much editing I didn’t feel comfortable charging people for it. (It still is edited, but I didn’t have the same writer support system around me for the second, and was definitely not able to pay for services). Within the last month I have come to know I have a new fan for the series. My eldest son’s friend read it, and she is so…I can’t tell you how happy she makes my writer heart. I talked to her last Friday to tell her thank you for reading the story and enjoying it (and leaving a review) and she was so adorably star-struck. She gushed and told me how much she loves Hazel. If I hadn’t self-published the story, it never would have given her the escape and pleasure that she obviously has for the story. And she makes me so happy that I spent the time writing it. Eventually I’ll be writing a third book, and reactions like hers make it worth it, even though I never made a million bucks with the stories, and probably won’t ever find monetary compensation for it. Thank goodness for self-publishing!
Now, I’m writing a cozy mystery. I fully plan on seeing if traditional is the route to take, for many of the same reasons Donna Cook listed above. There’s a greater chance it could be more of a mainstream fit. I’d like a little more support if I can get it for putting the story out there to the masses. If I strike out, that’s fine. I’ll probably publish it somewhere so it can be read, but my ultimate concern is that it can at least be available to be enjoyed by someone else besides me.
Self-publishing is often seen as a last resort, instead of a viable option, by many in the writing community. When I self-published my first story, I’d only queried 8 agents. It wasn’t a move of desperation to self-publish, but rather a decision I’d made based on research and thought. Maybe it was a wrong decision, but it was still a decision. I’m not even sure what the self-publishing landscape is like now, but I definitely wish you the very best with your decision and hope for your perfect outcome! :D
Hi Lara,
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experience.
I’m still not entirely sure what I’m going to do, but I am at the point where I’m ready to do some research and make an educated decision about the best route to take.
My novel is really women’s fiction with a literary bent, which is part of the reason I’ve continued to hold the belief that traditional publishing is the way to go for it. If I were able to move on to the next project (not a biographical novel) and try to sell that first, gain readership and then sell the current book, that would be one thing. I’m having the worst time motivating myself to write the next book, even though I love the story and the characters. I just can’t seem to move on while the book of my heart is sitting on my hard drive, unread.
One thing I did learn over the last five years is to keep any motivation you may gain, going. (Did that make sense?) So, if you want to give self-publishing a chance, I would look into having at least two books ready to go so you can have a timely release of the second book and be working on a third book while you’re releasing the first two. I continually regret the length of time it took for me to get the second book done, but then, I really didn’t know what I was doing and also didn’t expect the first book to gain as much attention as it did!
Seriously, whatever you decide, the most important thing is that it’s the right decision for YOU. :D
Kim, in addition to your lovely words, I have loved reading the comments for this post. It’s so rewarding to see your words resonate, isn’t it?
Many of us writers are watching traditional publishing grow ever more narrow as an option. Heck, my trad-pubbed friends are telling me how much it is changing. Most of them are wildly envious of their indie-pubbing pals and can’t wait for their contracts to run out so they can go that route too.
Only you know what your path will be, but I wish you luck, whichever one you choose.
Jenny,
I can’t tell you (and everyone else who has commented today) how much all your words mean to me. I have felt so alone in this for so long, and don’t have a support system here of people who get what I’m going through.
Seeing how much my words have resonated with so many people is a reminder that I haven’t forgotten how to write and that my words matter.
I have a few traditionally published friends who have gotten their rights back, self-published, and are making a modest but steady income that way.
Kim, you’ve raised a thoughtful, independent daughter. That’s no mean feat. Those are qualities you nurtured in her. They are your qualities. Whatever path you take, more or less well-traveled, you will be (already are) a successful writer and wonderful editor. Cheers, Liz
My girls are both fierce, brave, and overall stellar people. They know who they are. I am very lucky!
Great post, Kim! Kudos to you and your daughter. As I’ve mentioned before, my older child did the same thing and has never regretted it.
Traditional publishing isn’t just the big five. There are plenty of smaller and independent presses that are considered traditional publishers. I went with an independent press and have been very happy with the result.
You could consider academic presses too, esp Canadian ones like UT & McGill. You might also ask the folks at the AGO for advice, given their big collection of the GoS. They probably have connections at UT. Toronto can be like a small town :D
You know I think your book is important and amazing. I’m rooting for you!
Thank you, Barbara, and I am absolutely going to look at smaller presses before I would attempt to go it alone.
In some ways, I can feel your daughter’s pain, Kim. I didn’t do too well in the academic environs of my suburban Dallas high school decades ago. Then, as now, I get bored easily. Ironically, home-schooling used to be the bastion of extremists – or the deeply troubled. The one-size-fits-all mantra has been one of humanity’s greatest lies. I self-published my debut novel in 2018. A few months ago a long-time friend chastised me for it; dictating that the proper road to book publication is to get an agent and submit a proposal to an established publishing house. It’s worth noting he isn’t a writer and hasn’t published anything.
From what you’ve described, your daughter seems focused and driven. I think she’ll be alright.
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Honestly, Kim, your post and all the comments are extremely thoughtful and chocked full of information and inspiration. Thank you.
Kim, I wrote a long note about how the school system is essentially a babysitting device to enable parents to work and stay good little consumers, and how your daughter doesn’t need to sacrifice another year of her life to that warped paradigm. Essentially that I applaud your good parenting decisions. Then my comment went poof. *shrug*
You might recall I went the SP route without sending so much as a single query letter. I won’t get into the whys here, or how I feel about my (very) slow career build, but I’m available anytime you want to talk.
Instead I’ll share this quote, which I find unspeakably wise. Perhaps it will help.
“One of the key paradoxes in Buddhism is that we need goals to be inspired, to grow, and to develop, even to become enlightened, but at the same time we must not get overly fixated or attached to these aspirations. If the goal is noble, your commitment to the goal should not be contingent on your ability to attain it, and in pursuit of our goal, we must release our rigid assumptions about how we must achieve it. Peace and equanimity come from letting go of our attachment to the goal and the method. That is the essence of acceptance.” — Dalai Lama
I admire your daughter. What a decisive young woman she must be! Good for her!
For what it’s worth, my first ten or so titles came out from Big Five publishers. But then a couple of years ago, I wrote a book I really loved, but which my agent wasn’t sure acquiring editors would necessarily appreciate. I decided to bring that book, TUYO, out myself, which I did in May 2020.
I moved a lot more aggressively into self-publication at that time than I had ever contemplated. I brought out various other titles as quickly as possible and began to promote the few backlist titles I’d brought out previously. While my monthly royalties from self-publication haven’t yet reached the minimum I consider reasonable to support writing full-time, those royalties are about halfway there. Also, I have time to learn about all this, as I do have another income. I’ve certainly learned a lot about self-publishing and I think I know what steps I ought to take next.
Regardless, the freedom to do whatever I want with the TUYO series has been even more fantastic than I anticipated. I wrote a short prequel novel — for which I didn’t have to get anyone’s approval. Then a very long direct sequel. That was fine too. I love, love, *love* being able to do anything at all I wish with this series.
I haven’t definitely decided to stop pursuing traditional publication, but it’s possible I will make that decision. I will certainly continue prioritizing self-publication next year. I’ll bring out probably not fewer than three novels and probably some shorter works as well, while postponing work on a project that might work better for traditional publication.
So … that’s me. But I do think self-publication is without doubt a viable option, even if you’re not a romance author knocking out a book every month.
Best of luck to you, no matter what course you pursue.