Beyond Description: Story-Relevant Aspects of Setting
By Barbara Linn Probst | September 15, 2021 |
When we think of setting, the first thing that comes to mind is likely to be a panoramic view of a place—a village, forest, castle, planet. When people ask me about my WIP, I tell them that it’s “set” in Iceland, among the glaciers and thermal lagoons. Right away, they have a vision, a way to locate the characters and picture what will happen …
A setting like Iceland can situate a story in a time or culture or geography, evoke limitations and possibilities, create a mood. Yet setting can do so much more than that! When we shrink the scale from landscape to detail and focus on bits of setting—small sensory data—we can discover a whole range of story-relevant and story-enhancing ways that setting can be used.
Here are four of them, though there are certainly others. I’ve included examples from a number of writers, along with some terrific exercises offered by author and writing instructor Diane Zinna.
“Bits of setting” as a reflection of character
Every location is full of details. The movement of a tree branch, the beeping of a truck, the fragrance of curry. As writers, we select the details that we want our readers to attend to—sometimes through the voice of the author and sometimes through a character, who notices or interacts with a specific element of the setting.
In her novel Luz, Debra Thomas has Alma, the protagonist, notice the white calla lilies as she surveys the depressing place where she has arrived and doesn’t want to be. It’s not simply the existence of the lilies, but the fact that Alma notices them, that tells the reader something about Alma’s nature and provides a hint about how she will face what lies ahead.
. . . we climbed higher and reached the stick house with a tin roof that Tito called home. Surrounded by dirt on all sides, it stood a few yards from a dilapidated chicken coop, its chickens running amuck . . . In one far corner, a few white calla lilies stood tall and proud in the midst of this dreary sight.
In one of my own novels, protagonist Susannah returns home from a frustrating day and notices the overgrown zebra grass by the deck. She could have noticed the marigolds, the breeze, the mailbox. But the overgrown foliage catches her eye because it’s emblematic of how she’s been neglecting her home and family—there’s no need to tell (through dialogue or reflection) what has already been shown (through the choice of a detail). Susannah’s guilt is followed by annoyance: “Why is this her job? Why can’t her husband take care of it?” It’s not only what she notices, but also her reaction to what she notices. That reaction signals to the reader that marital conflict lies ahead.
Two different characters will perceive and respond to the same surroundings in different ways. Their differing responses can be a vivid, economical way to illustrate something important about how each character sees the world, setting the reader up for what will follow and making the ensuing struggle, alliance, or betrayal more potent and believable.
Earlier in the book Susannah—who is a musician—notices a change in the sky and remarks to her husband Aaron that the sun has come out from behind the clouds. Aaron, a scientist, corrects her: “It’s the clouds that are moving, not the sun.” Aaron is technically accurate, yet he’s taken the joy out of her impression. Their contrasting formulations about the same sky illustrate their contrasting approaches to life and cue the reader to the dynamic of their relationship.
As an experiment, we can take any setting—whether part of the story or unrelated to it—and imagine how various characters would react. When Diane Zinna teaches writing, she likes to show her students a video of a New Orleans funeral march. “The video is just packed with sensory details—music, dancers, costumes, restaurants, signage. When I ask my students which details they should choose to include, we discover that the answer often lies in the character we have walking down the street and facing that parade.”
Different details will capture the attention of different characters, evoke different memories, and prompt different actions—conveying a wealth of story-relevant information to the reader that goes far beyond “description.
Echoes and iterations of setting to illustrate change
Diane also urges her students to ask themselves: “What does each thing mean to our character? How can that greater understanding advance the story? The details of the setting start to call out and say, Use me! I can be meaningful in more than one way.”
One way to make additional use of a setting, or a detail of setting, is to return to it later in the story and show it in a different way. Perhaps the character has a new perception or relationship to the setting, signaling a change in understanding that has already taken place or a shift that happens right there in the scene. Perhaps she deliberately changes something about the setting (e.g., moves a photograph from its central spot on the mantle to a side-table, symbolizing an inner shift). Perhaps she embraces or rejects or takes charge of her surroundings in a way that she couldn’t have, until now.
A return to the same location, after time has passed, can highlight features that seem entirely different to the protagonist. The lamppost on the corner that signaled hope and the possibility of “illumination” in an early scene—then, in a later scene, the same lamppost on the same corner is a pitiful and ineffective attempt to light a darkness too vast to bear. Or the setting can actually have changed. Disrepair, storm damage, a fence, a new coat of paint, seedlings that have grown—all of these changes in the setting can have rich, story-relevant meaning.
Alternatively, the setting can be shockingly unchanged, reassuring the character or taking her by surprise. The woman who comes home after an encounter that seems, to her, to have altered the world forever—only to see that everything is exactly as it’s always been, the same teapot-shaped clock over the stove, the same row of red-and-white cannisters on the kitchen counter. The sameness of the setting serves to highlight the differentness of the character’s inner life. The setting hasn’t changed, but the character has.
Mary Helen Sheriff, for example, places her protagonist Eve at the beach early in the narrative. Eve gazes at the water and longs to surrender to it, to drown and be obliterated. When Eve returns to the same beach, later in the book, she’s different. She’s learning to surf, to ride the waves as they come while remaining afloat.
Jenni Ogden uses the setting of her novel—a small island in the Great Barrier Reef—as a metaphor for the protagonist’s emotional journey. In the beginning in the story, the image of “the reef edge dropping away into the deep blackness” signals the protagonist’s fear of letting go and falling into the abyss of the unknown. Later, through the proxy of the sea turtle, the protagonist is able to accept and honor that very image:
In her own good time, she [the sea turtle] lifted her head and gazed over the wide lagoon to the edge of the reef and the deep sea beyond, then pushed herself deeper and deeper until she was back in her element and swimming effortlessly into the blue.
Incongruity of setting to enhance conflict and emotional power
Having a crucial scene take place in an unlikely location—incongruous or even dissonant, rather than an obvious or neutral location—can increase its impact. For example: a scene with erotic undertones that takes place in a setting that’s usually associated with innocence, like a children’s playground, can have an effect that the same scene, set in a predictable place like a bar or a moonlit patio, might not.
This incongruity can also be evoked in small ways, too. Mary Sheriff does this through her use of a sensory detail— the smell of burnt gingerbread cookies—that underscores the contrast between what Christmas is “supposed” to be and what it really is for the characters.
Setting is a collection of details. The red-and-white oilcloth. The stone lions. The smell of burnt gingerbread. If the details are real, the setting will be real too.
Diane Zinna shares another writing prompt that she gives to her students:
Write a scene that is set someplace unexpected. For the purposes of this exercise, think of an example that seems outrageous at first, and then fill it with as many glorious details as you can. As you write, build, and commit to telling the story in this place, this “garden,” notice how with each detail the story becomes possible and more real.
Setting as a tool for embodied reading:
What we limit ourselves to thinking about (and depicting) a setting from a panoramic or aerial view, we risk pulling the reader out of direct experience and turning her into an observer. The reader looks at the setting, the same way she might look at a painting: even if she admires it, she feels separate from it, and is likely to rush through or even skip this kind of description in order to get on with the story.
In contrast, description that is small, close, specific, and sensory can pull the reader deep into the scene. She becomes a participant, capable of what I call embodied reading. Body and emotions are engaged, and the story comes alive.
We can create this experience of embodied reading through careful selection of the evocative detail. That is, rather than describing as much as we can about the setting, we focus on a few specific elements, selecting only those with the greatest purpose and power. They can be motifs—sounds or smells or objects that recur throughout the narrative, accumulating power through repetition and variation. Or they can be “once-only” details whose power lies in their incongruity and surprise—something unexpected whose visceral impact makes the reader feel, in her body, what the character feels.
That said, we may not know, especially in our early drafts, which elements will be the strongest and end up earning their way into the final version. For that reason, I’ve found that it’s helpful to get it all down and select later, when I have a better sense of which “bits of setting” will have the most resonance.
It can also be useful, as an exercise, to free-write about the setting from different “focal lengths:”
- from an aerial view—the widest view of the whole
- from the middle of the scene, as if you were an actor in a play
- from close-up, as you were strolling through the scene with a magnifying glass
Then, with these sketches at hand, you can choose among them for story-relevant impact. Different scenes might call for different perspectives.
In short, there’s much more to setting than a background! The savvy writer lets setting do its share of the work to depict character, plot, and emotional arc.
What about you? How do you use “small bits of setting” in your own work? Are there unforgettable examples of setting in novels you’ve loved?
[coffee]
Terrific post Barbara. Thank you. I’m going to share it with my writers group. There are so many points you’v touched on, points we may all be aware of, yet you brought them to light in a new fashion and so vividly. I’m now aware of a particular, recurring setting is in my WIP and I’m aching to get back to it. Thanks.
So glad you found it useful, Linda! I always found “description” to be boring and suspected that I was missing its potential. So I started pondering, and learned so much in the process of writing this piece :-)
All narration is done from a POV, and all POV comes with opinions. Your post today is outstanding, Barbara, the only thing I can think to add is that a character’s observation on calla lilies, say, is revealing but that observation is not neutral.
That is, the calla lilies will not look the same to two people nor will they stir the same feelings or evoke the same meaning. In the cited passage the calla lilies are cheery in a dreary yard, but they are also funeral flowers utterly appropriate for a decrepit, death-sodden home. What other flower would be better?
The choice of how to see them rests with the character and what matters, I think, is that the POV character makes that choice in the first place. Love this post!
Don, I am so glad that you liked the post! I got interested in the subject because it’s one I’ve never explored before, and it was fascinating to uncover some of its potential, even in my own writing … Speaking of which, I’ll send you a follow-up email to our conversation from last month :-) Thanks so much for weighing in!
Words to live by — or to capture life.
“The bartender sees the crowd, the decorator sees the barstools, the realtor sees the location, and the soldier is counting the exits.” I’ve always loved your first rule, that just what to show (and how much is always left out) tells as much about the “photographer” as about the subject. And your next points, change (contrast with what was) and incongruity (contrasting a part with the whole) are classic techniques. I haven’t gone for a true “embodied reading” in a while, but looking at all these options makes me want to try it again.
One of my own favorites is to look for purpose. What was the reason a place was built, or what forces in nature were working to shape it? If I say or imply that in how a description is laid out… and then say what changed that might be out of step with that purpose… and finally show how those layers of meaning mesh with what characters need right now, then I’ve got an experience.
Thanks again, Barbara. This one is going straight into my Recommended Posts file.
Thank you so much for your reflections, Ken! Your opening remarks remind me of an exercise I used to give my students when I taught qualitative research. I showed a film clip and gave each student a slip of paper with a point of view: “Watch this scene from the POV of XX and write down what you see.” Of course, each person saw something different … thus, “data collection” is never neutral, which is an essential principle of research, as it is with writing … I’m so glad you liked the post and thank you for commenting!
Hi Barbara, when I’m writing I always have a visual of the PLACE where the scene is occurring. It provides my writing brain with continuity. I can walk through the house where my characters live, feel the heft of their china, smell the flowers in their garden and all of that goodness becomes lost when tragedy hits.
To comment on a writer who has handled setting, I recommend Margot Livesey’s THE BOY IN THE FIELD. The entire story flows from the initial scene, the first setting, which provides the evil fruit of the rest of the novel. Thanks for your post.
It sounds as if you are an embodied writer—which suggests that you will give your reader an embodied experience too!! Thanks for your comment, Beth!!
Beth I love Margot’s work and have read everything she’s written—yet somehow, in all the pandemic hubbub, missed this release. Like Barbara, I too love a setting-rich story and am thrilled to hear of this one. I’ll be ordering it!
Barbara, what a good post on using setting. Not only does it ground us, but it can shed light on the character’s journey. Because where they are coming from and where they’re going matters, and it’s choosing the right detail that makes all the difference. Your examples are so good.
Books I’ve read recently where the setting is rendered vividly: Daniel Nayeri’s Everything Sad is Untrue (a true story), Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi, Call the Midwife by Jennifer Worth. I realize they’re all memoirs, so let me think of some fiction: Poor Banished Children by Fiorella de Maria, The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh, and I just finished an ARC: Blue Skinned Gods by SJ Sindu. The setting, in an ashram in Tamil Nadu, shapes the MC. It’s brilliant.
Thank you for weighing in, Vijaya! Yes, it is the purposeful selection of the powerful detail, no? I suspect that when description feels tedious, it’s because it’s overdone and not purposeful. Another example from my own work was when I set a (subtle) seduction scene in a children’s playground. I wanted the contradiction and also the evocative details of the swing, as the protagonist felt the thrill/fear of going beyond the zone of control. Not a “symbol” (which can feel too heavy and obvious) but something evocative …
I wanted to recommend “The Sound Between the Notes” to all my creative writing friends as a lesson in how to begin a novel. And that opening was full of this kind of small details of setting, even the floorboards! And how the protagonist responded to them (lined up her feet) that showed us so much of her character without a word of commentary.
This post is a keeper. My fingers are itching to get to the keyboard to insert tiny revelatory details of setting into my draft – without commentary.
Julia, thank you SO much! It means the world to me to know that my work is helping and inspiring yours. Once you start to add those “bits of setting,” I think you’ll quickly see how powerful it can be. Happy revising!
Great post with good, illustrative examples. One I’ll share with editing clients. (WriterUnboxed articles are particularly suited to that.) :)
A book I think handles setting SO well is All the Light We Cannot See. It takes such a huge conflict and sweeping story and drills down into what the characters experience in their own particular ways, imbuing each detail with extra layers of significance and meaning.
Many, many thanks, Erin! I love knowing that the post will live on, as you share it with your own writing clients. That’s why we do this :-) So happy you shared!