The Value of Friendship in Storytelling
By Vaughn Roycroft | June 21, 2021 |
You know how a realization about your storytelling can strike when you’re reading someone else? Of course you do. How about the kind of realization that makes you regret not having it sooner, so that you could have been taking advantage of it all along? You’re probably still nodding, right? Okay, how about one that’s so utterly obvious that you feel like an idiot for having never consciously utilized it before?
How about a realization in regard to an aspect of human nature that is so elemental to each of us that we’ve all partaken in it since our earliest memories—one that is an essential part of our lives to this very day?
Since you’ve already seen the title, I’m sure you’ve gathered that I’m talking about friendship. If you read my last WU post, you might recall that I’ve been reading John Gwynne’s epic fantasy series, The Faithful and the Fallen. In that post I discussed how Gwynne employs fairly common tropes in unique ways. The series has a broad cast and an epic sweep, but Gwynne’s storytelling is linear and straightforward, featuring good versus evil in a fairly standard mediaeval European setting. And yet, finishing up book three, Ruin, left me continuing to ponder the ways in which Gwynne keeps me in his thrall.
There were indeed some startling twists and satisfying payoffs in the march toward the resolution of Ruin, the penultimate edition of the series. Gwynne never pulls his punches. The man has a knack for continuing to raise the stakes. He knows how to make a reader squirm. Still, if I described some of the story moments that most surprised and/or delighted me, I doubt anything in my description would strike you as exceptionally novel or even particularly fresh.
Which kept me wondering for days afterward what’s been keeping the pages turning for me (over 2,100 of ’em so far). As I was wondering, I clicked on an article that polled readers for their favorite fantasy characters. When I saw the #1 character, my aforementioned realization struck.
The character? Samwise Gamgee. My realization? It’s all about the friendship.
The Best of Friends
Ask a dozen LOTR fans to describe Sam and you’re likely to get a heavy dose of virtuous labels. You’ll hear words like loyal, devoted, determined, and steadfast. You might even get the occasional brave or even heroic. But to what is Sam devoted? To what end is he brave or heroic? He, of course, is fixed upon the shared goal of destroying the ring. But it’s really all about his devotion to Frodo. He is loyal, brave, and heroic in service to his dear companion.
In other words, Samwise Gamgee is, first and foremost, an exemplary friend. And whether or not you agree with the results of the poll I cite above, he is unarguably one of the most beloved characters in literature. Which, by extension, would nominate friendship as one of the most beloved features of storytelling.
As I said, seeing the poll result coincided with my consideration of the attributes of The Faithful and the Fallen. Gwynne’s storytelling features familial duty, mentorship, a bit of religious fervor, and a smattering of romantic love. But when it comes to character relationships, this series is built on the rock-solid foundation of friendship.
The collision of the two led to my head-clonking, “Wow—I coulda had better friendships,” realization.
Making Friends
“Friendship is born at the moment when one says to another, ‘What? You too? I thought that no one but myself…’”—C.S. Lewis
One of the moments from Ruin that sprang to mind as I formulated the idea for this post was the culminating trial of a friendship. It’s a powerful moment. Gwynne patiently begins building this friendship in the opening chapters of book one. The friends’ reckoning caused me to reflect on what made this friendship feel authentic, thereby creating such an impact. We’ve all experienced “the friend,” in story—a sidekick that feels like a prop, thrown in as the protagonist’s ally, or straight man, or comic relief. Often such friendships are explained away by their longevity (we’ve been pals since childhood) or their proximity (she works in the cubicle next to mine).
What did Gwynne do right? First, he made each of this pair of friends an individual, with a backstory and personality all their own. Although the pair is placed together by a bit of routine circumstance and common background, their bond is forged through unique similarities they discover through interaction that we, the audience, witness. We see how they both feel somewhat unrecognized, and often unheard (particularly by their powerful fathers). We glean that they both feel like outsiders. They share similar conflicts, and together they gain a vision of themselves as agents of change for a status quo that they each resent. We’re along for the ride as they come to perceive the value of being one another’s advocate. Their moment of truth forces each of them to choose between their friendship and their sense of duty, honor, and even their definition of right and wrong. As I say, the resulting moment knocked me out.
It seems to me that friendships that are built of elements besides mere circumstance or proximity are the strongest sort. Sometimes it feels like the rockier the start, the stronger the bind. For example:
*Bitter rivalry that leads to begrudging respect that leads to mutual admiration. (Think Spock and Kirk)
*Finding shared goals/foes that outweigh dogmatic cultural divisions. (Think Legolas and Gimli)
*Sharing a common oppressive condition and/or unjust treatment. (Think Han Solo and Chewbacca)
*An inflicted injury, leading to remorse, leading to empathy, leading to atoning action. (Think Hiccup and Toothless)
The point is to take friendships beyond presenting them as a given. It’s good to show the why of the friendship, but it’s even better to show the overcoming of the why not. As with most things in life, friendships are made stronger and are better appreciated when they’re well-earned. That’s true of the friends themselves as well as for those experiencing their story.
A Friend In Need…
As I said at the top, friendship feels so elemental, its value as a story tool feels like a given. Study after study shows that friendship improves our outlook, our happiness, even our health and longevity. In considering its value to story, I can see that friendship can:
*Invite investment—As mentioned, we’ve all participated in friendship all through our lives. We’re well aware of its benefits, which makes us very willing investors.
*Deepen and empower backstory—Who doesn’t love learning a friendship’s origin story? How often have you told the story of when you and a dear friend first bonded?
*Raise the stakes—What is a character willing to risk, endure, or sacrifice for a friend? Take it to eleven, and your readers will love them for it.
*Be a lure to the wrong path—Can loyalty win out over one’s sense of right and wrong? Can a friend be misguided in their steering of a hero of good intention? You betcha. (Gwynne proves it.)
*Enhance empathy—What’s more crushing than the loss of a friend? Or a friend’s betrayal? What’s more heartening than their surprise return or redemption? When all seems lost, what could make our heart soar higher than the arrival of a friend?
If you don’t believe that the appearance of friends at the eleventh hour will make an audience cheer, witness the power of the simple phrase, “On your left,” from the movie Avengers: Endgame [Spoiler Alert for the outcome of Marvel’s Avengers movie series].
With A Little Help From Our Friends
“Winter, spring, summer, or fall
All you’ve got to do is call…”—Carol King (from You’ve Got a Friend)
It seems like much of what is intrinsically good and noble about human nature revolves around friendship. The impulse to friendship feels almost like a higher calling. It spurs us to exceed far beyond self-interest, even to self-sacrifice. It buoys us to generosity and forgiveness. It can ground us in truths we willfully blind ourselves to, and remind us of forgotten core values. Friendship can also tether us to common detriment, limit us to outmoded perspectives, or distract us from assured progress.
Friends can lift us when we’re down, spark us when we’ve lost momentum, and even carry us when we cannot take another step. 
Because friendship is fundamental to our human nature, in story we long for friendship to form, to deepen, to be repaired or restored. We root for unlikely friendships, and crave uncommon loyalty. We yearn for friends to come through for one another, weep for friends who sacrifice for one another. We mourn friendships lost, and cheer for friendship’s triumph.
I do have friendships in my work, but Gwynne’s work has me seeing the possibilities for incorporating new ones and deepening old ones. I sort of doubt you’ve conked your head like I did, but I hope you’re seeing the value of friendship to your storytelling in a new light. Leveraging such a powerful feature seems like a no-brainer, doesn’t it? You know what to do, friends.
How about you, WU? Have you been harnessing the power of friendship? Who are the greatest fictional friends, and why are they Frodo and Sam? Who are some of your favorite fictional friends, and how do they enhance their story?
Vaughn Roycroft’s (he/him) teacher gave him a copy of The Hobbit in the 6th grade, sparking a lifelong passion for reading and history. After college, life intervened, and Vaughn spent twenty years building a successful business. During those years, he and his wife built a getaway cottage near their favorite shoreline, in a fashion that would make the elves of Rivendell proud. After many milestone achievements, and with the mantra ‘life’s too short,’ they left their hectic lives in the business world, moved to their little cottage, and Vaughn finally returned to writing. Now he spends his days striving to finish his epic fantasy series.
Vaughn, thanks for sharing these insights into the value of friendships in fiction writing. I had never really thought about it in this way, and you have articulated well the many ways friendships can enhance stories. Your post is timely because my work-in-progress centers on the relationship among three childhood friends now in their 30s. It plays with the idea of triangles–political and romantic. It is meant to be a commentary on the political polarization gripping our country and at its heart is the friendship of the three young men–a conservative, a liberal, and a moderate, who is always trying to bring the other two to a common understanding in their political discussions. I identify, of course, with the moderate. I always appreciate the time and thought that you put into these posts. Best wishes to you for a happy and healthy summer.
Hi Chris, Wow, timely themes for your WIP! Sounds like you’ll hit on much-needed messages.
Nothing pleases me more than to hear that something I’ve written is timely and helpful. Happy and healthy summer to you, too, my friend.
Yes, I have conked my head like you did, Vaughn, and thank you for this beautiful post!! I’ve written an entire first draft with a protagonist in relationships with different members of her family, as well as her boss and a therapist, but realized near the end that she has no friends! I’m fixing that in revision. Your insights are particularly sharp and helpful!
Hi Mary, Huzzah–A fellow head-conker, lol. If it helps, I did the same thing. Not that we can’t be friends with family members, coworkers, etc. but I feel like I lost opportunites for connection that would resonate.
Looks like we’re in friendship revision together, my friend. Thanks for sharing. Wishing you the best with it!
Great article, thank you!
Michael Arndt (Little Miss Sunshine, Toy Story 3, The Force Awakens) has a video on his website where he talks mainly about the different stakes at play in a story/movie. He also makes the case that the Han Solo character plays an important role in the original Star Wars, aka A New Hope. (Spoiler alert, after all this time?) Han befriends Luke, then abandons him just before the climax, then Han redeems himself with a comeback at the last moment. I think that’s pushing some of the same emotional buttons that you discuss.
https://www.pandemoniuminc.com/endings-video
Hi Tom, Arndt makes a terrific observation about A New Hope–I know I was cheering for the Han moment back in ’77. I don’t love everything the Star Wars writers have done with the series, but I do think they’ve done a pretty solid job developing Han’s character–keeping him true to the brash, gun-slinger trope, but making him vulnerable and relatable throughout.
Thanks for enhancing the conversation, and for your kind praise.
Oh, wow. My three characters are strangers to one another at the outset, and their respective desires and purposes are quite different from one another and often in conflict. Nevertheless, over the course of the narrative, they form cautious connections that could blossom into friendships. Lots I can work with here. Thanks, Vaughn.
Hi Anna, Oh good–you’ve got the perfect circumstance for “overcoming the why not.” Leverage away!
Your praise always means a lot to me, and knowing that I’ve been helpful to you really makes my day. Thank you, my friend!
“Who are the greatest fictional friends, and why are they Frodo and Sam?”
That made me laugh! Lately, one of my favorite friend duos is Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes. That entire show almost felt like a male buddy movie. Also, Bill and Ted–they’re so supportive of each other. Oh, the Full Monty! I love how all the characters are in a variety of shifting friendships with each other. And I find it interesting that all my favorites are male relationships. Off the top of my head I can’t really think of female friendships, besides Thelma and Louise and I didn’t like that movie. Literature-wise, it’s harder for me to come up with any truly adored friendships, too. I don’t usually read women’s fiction or watch chick flicks, either, so maybe that’s why.
I’ve been reading a ton of mysteries over the last couple years, and the sidekick character is a staple, but as you pointed out, not often are they a complete character. Probably the closest I can think of is China and Ruby in the China Bayles mysteries. Oh, I just finished Miss Fisher’s Mysteries (the television series) and Phryne and Dot’s friendship is a favorite for me. And Phryne and Jack’s friendship, too. While they end up falling in love, it starts as a beautiful respect for each other.
In any case, this was a fun way to start a Monday! In my current wip I do have a changing/developing friendship with my protagonists younger sister (who is going to end up the sidekick – well, one of the sidekicks. That’s a whole ‘nother issue. I’m wondering if it’s possible to have a couple–sidekicks, not issues.) It’s been interesting trying to juggle that (those) relationships while keeping the mystery at the center of it. Your post today pointed out how those relationship subplots can maybe be deepening the story, so I’ll bravely soldier on. Thanks!
Hey Lara! I don’t read a lot of mysteries, but from the outside looking in, it seems to me that the genre is set up for a lot of character relationships that lean to sidekick as opposed to friend. I’m guessing maybe Watson is sort of the model for that. Maybe it’s because the sleuth is sort of a loner archetype?
You make a fascinating observation about stories and female friendship. All of my examples for this post are male-male. I wonder if it’s due to the old (and terribly outmoded) trope of females as jealous competitors…? That’s worthy of consideration. I have some female-female friendships in my story, but I also have some bitter rivalries between females. It’s worth treading carefully there, I think.
As for longevity and shared circumstance (and even shared struggle), we’ve got a solid friendship, indeed, don’t we? Thanks for all of the support and camaraderie over the years, old friend.
Hi FRIEND,
I’ve kept some of your writing advise taped to my wall for a long time. That’s friendship. And your words today provide such good advice. After one of my beta readers critiqued a very early version of my WIP, she suggested that my MC needed a foil character, a co-worker, a friend. YES! Thus Julie came to life and has been a great addition to my WIP. (Sometimes I like her better than my MC.) Creating lives on the page is fascinating as they interact and often speak truths. We need friends in our fiction. We need friends like you as we create. Thanks.
HELLO FRIEND! :) Gosh, Beth, you’ve gotten me blushing over here, in the heart-swelling way only an old friend can.
Isn’t it great when you bring in a character for a specific reason, and then you watch them blossom, new roles and traits rushing to color them so brilliantly? One of my favorite characters is just like Julie.
Thank you for your caring friendship. I’m honored to have ever been helpful to you, Your encouragement has certain buoyed me over the years.
Vaughn, I’ve kept some of your writing advice printed and taped to my wall. That’s friendship. And a beta reader once recommended that my MC needed a friend, someone who could be a foil for her hard-headedness, anger and sorrow. Julie was born. Sometimes I like her better than my MC! So important post today–and thanks for your friendship, Beth
What a wonderful post, Vaughn. And yes, I’ve done plenty of head-conking. while reading other peoples’ novels. The thing about friendships is that they’re voluntary. We choose them, which can make them more powerful than family bonds. I love stories with ‘found’ families’ with friends gathering together in the face of a common threat or challenge (take the ring back to Mordor!) It doesn’t surprise me that Sam is #1, perhaps the enduring quality of LOTR is really down to friendship and fellowship in a crazy world.
Hey Susan! I was going to mention “found family,” but it didn’t make the final cut. Your point about choice is so important here. When my wife and I were first married and struggling to get by, we lived too far to go to either of our homes for the holidays. We spent those holidays with friends who became all the dearer to us because of that shared circumstance. Those are bonds that last a lifetime.
I agree about LOTR–it’s so full of friendship. I was watching a BookTube video done by a young lady who was first experiencing the story, and in her review she said that Sam made her want to be a better friend, which I thought was such a lovely sentiment. Making folks want to be better friends is certainly something wonderful to aspire to as a storyteller, isn’t it?
Thanks for always providing insight to the conversation, my friend. You’re the best!
I enjoyed this post so much and always have an element of friendship in my stories because it’s such a central relationship even if it’s just for a season. They feature prominently in children’s books. Some favorites besides Sam and Frodo: Frog and Toad, Farfallina and Marcel (caterpillar and gosling), Henry and Mudge (bog and dog; I wrote one about a boy and his cat, Max and Midnight), Amanda and Oliver Pig (siblings), Little Women (siblings)–I often think the best gift for a child is another sibling so I love these stories of friendships within the family. Oh, and Harry, Ron and Hermione in the HP series.
The one thing I don’t like is the sexualization of friendship stories–ruins its innocence and purity.
Terrific additions, Vijaya! i suppose you’re right, that friendship seems like more of a locked-in feature for stories for children and young people. Your HP triad of friends is a wonderful example of good gender dynamics in friendship (without the need for sexualizing), as well as showing that friendships needed always be limited to pairs.
Glad to hear you’re already leveraging friendship in your storytelling. Glad, too, that you enjoyed the post. Thank you for enhancing the conversation!
I couldn’t agree more, Vaughn. Friendship is a cornerstone of all my books. It wasn’t that way years ago, but when I wrote Riparia’s Bk1, she developed a friendship with someone in the second half of the book. It was her first. In Bk2, one of her traveling companions was a woman she shared a mutual hatred with. It made for great arguments—until it didn’t. Instead, and contrary to my intentions, a bond developed (and some arguments that were less biting). From that point forward, friendship has been a requirement of every book I plan.
That’s fantastic, Christina. So cool that you discovered the power of enemies to friends. I’m sure it’ll be a boon to readers–I love that sort of friendship.
Sounds like you’re way ahead of me, but not for the first time, my friend. Thanks for always leading the way. :)
Love this, Vaughn. Friendship is so often the defining relationship in–and what draws me to–many of my most beloved books, shows, and movies, from Charlotte’s Web to I Love You, Man to Sex and the City. (How’s that for an eclectic sampling…?) 😄
An especially welcome post in our currently polarized environment–two people connecting can start to change the world. I’ve been interested in a group called Braver Angels whose premise is exactly that, and they have facilitated many friendships between people with diametrically opposing ideologies to help change the tenor of our interactions with those who don’t agree with us.
Thanks for stating the “obvious.” Sometimes it’s easy to overlook it!
Hi Tiffany! Whoa, that is an eclectic list, lol. But I’m glad you brought up Sex and the City–another powerful female friendship, and another triad of friendship. There’s so much to be explored in the relationship of three friends.
Which reminds me–my niece is just discovering Friends, and had an episode on in our kitchen while she was eating lunch the other day. Ross and Joey were mad at Chandler, and were trying to get back at him by ignoring him. Joey kept saying that he and Ross were, “The new Joey and Chandler,” and he was utterly oblivious to how much it annoyed Ross. So… friendship trios are great fodder for comedy, too, I guess.
Well, the power of friendship wasn’t obvious to me… Until it was. Glad my epiphany can provide focus to what might be overlooked. Thanks much–your praise means a lot to me, my friend.
Vaughn, you bring the literary (and literal) power of friendship into fine focus here. I love the unlikely friendship between crusty Ove and Parvaneh, the young mother who is his neighbor in A Man Called Ove.
There’s another unlikely and touching one in Autumn (great book) by Ali Smith, between the centenarian Daniel and young Elisabeth. And Sam and Frodo’s friendship actually earns the word “epic.”
I met my best friend as a rival on the street down from ours, whom my brother I engaged in a series of rock fights, along with other down-streeters. That was more than 50 years ago. (Though he probably became friends out of self-preservation, because I was sharply accurate with a dirt clod.) Thanks for the friendly post!
Hi Tom–What a terrific example in Ove and Parvaneh! That one shows not just how varied and diverse friendships can be, but what tremendous fruit such a dynamic can yield.
Friendhip in the name of gaining a dirt clod shield seems like an intriguing start to an interesting friendship. Thanks for being a rock for us here at WU, Tom (so much more impactful than a dirt clod). You’re the best. Here’s to old friends and new.
Great post, Vaughn. From the headline and first few sentences of the post, I thought you were going to explore the friendships formed between readers and characters – when the people in the stories are so real they feel like a new friend. And I do think that’s an interesting way to look at the relationship between reader and character.
Still, I like where you went with the topic, and on very simple terms friendships play a big role in the success of buddy stories. So many classic movies from the 40s and 50s come to mind – the Road Trip series starring Bob Hope and Bing Crosby, as well as the wonderful Thelma and Louise. The friendships were the foundations holding up the stories.
I’ve not read the series you mention, but after reading this post, I may have to check it out.
Hi Maryann, It really would’ve been an interesting angle on friendship (character to reader). I also thought I would be exploring the friendship that occurs between romantically linked mates, which I think can be powerful (I’m biased, as my best friend by far is my wife). Oh, and I wanted to touch on friendships with animals, too (I think they can be deep and meaningful, and I love good versions in stories).
I guess I’ve got a few more posts to write on friendship, don’t I? Man, do i love those Road Trip movies. Hope and Crosby were two of my dad’s favorites, and together they had something so very special.
If you do enjoy epic fantasy, I think you’d enjoy Gwynne. There are several of the animal-human friendships I didn’t get to here in the series, as well, and one of them just got me all misty this very morning.
Thanks much for weighing in, and for your kind praise!
Thanks for this excellent post, Vaughn! You mentioned Marvel and it’s truly one of the things I love best about that world onscreen and even more so in print: the friendships amongst the characters. Arguably, Doreen Green’s (aka Squirrel Girl) true superpower is the ability to find common ground and make friends with people.
I’ve been reading a lot of William Gibson lately as I work on what I hope will be the first book of my own cyberpunk series, and the tentatively-unfolding friendship between Milgram and Hollis in Zero History really stood out for me, perhaps because the concept of having any friends is clearly so novel to Milgram, and the trust they end up extending each other contrasts so strongly with the intense paranoia endemic to the story, and indeed, the genre.
In my own novel WIP, everything driving the story centers on an unlikely friendship between two protagonists of very different backgrounds, and their loyalty to each other. I’ve found that whenever I’m stuck in understanding the arc of this narrative in more granular terms, looking to their relationship and how it affects events (and might be affected by them) seems to bring me back to the right path.
Hi Marianna! I agree with you about Marvel. If only we could all be a bit more like Doreen, eh? Having a story center on the loyalty of unlikely friends sounds like a terrific basis for tension and a springboard to catharsis. Sounds like you’ve developed a wonderful compass for staying true to it.
Wishing you the best! Thanks much for enhancing the conversation here, friend. :)
Lovely post! Friendship is one of my favourite features in stories, and it almost always features in mine – in one form or the other. I loved your analysis of the theme’s potential, and all the ways it can work in a story. One thing I like for conflict (and, frankly, emotional blackmail on the reader!) is… shall I call it asymmetric friendship? When the friendship is more important, or more central to the life of one of the friends, who invests more on it, and perhaps has little else in the way of close relationships… Also, I love the gone-wrong-then-redeemed friend dynamic, and I agree that the loss of a friend makes for powerful motivation. Gilgamesh and Enkidu, anyone?
Among favourite literary examples, I’ll name Schiller (and Verdi’s) Don Carlos and Rodrigo of Posa, André-Louis Moreau and Philippe de Vilmorin, in Scaramouche, David Balfour and Alan Breck Stewart in Kidnapped…
Hi Clara, What an excellent addition to this conversation you make with the “asymmetric friendship.” And what an impressive list of favorites. You’re clearly way out ahead of me when it comes to taking advantage of friendship in storytelling.
Thanks so much for enhancing my post, and for your very kind praise!
This post has inspired me to write a children’s story about friendship. Thank you.
Oh wow, Dawn–I’m honored. I can’t think of any better outcome to anything I’ve written than to have someone inspired to do more storytelling.
Thanks so much for letting me know–you’ve made my week!
Vaughn, What a great post, and the terrific feedback (and examples of friends) you’re receiving attests to the importance of the subject. Let me add John Irving’s Owen Meany and John Wheelwright to the mix. I really relate to this subject as my own fantasy series (The Ravenstones) is primarily about friendship, but between unlikely pairs of (anthropomorphic) animals.
Look forward to all your contributions to WU.
Hey Christopher! Oh, what a fabulous example. I’d forgotten about John and Owen! We not only see their friendship and its importance in their lives. We see, and feel for, and root for Owen because of John’s perspective. And we relish the insider position we are offered. It’s such a brilliant stroke of storytelling. Gosh, I haven’t read Irving in years, and he’s been one of my favorites since I was a teen. Thanks for the nudge to get back to him.
Thank you, too, for your insight, kind praise, and for sharing my post over on Twitter. It’s great to see you here in the comments! Please do pop in again. Wishing you the best with The Ravenstones!
Oh I’m so glad you spotlighted friendship! I completely agree that it’s a bedrock for so many of the best (or at least my favorite) stories. In fact, just this week I tore through a book in which friendship is the whole point, the main theme, the stakes, and the conflict. (WHEN WE WERE INFINITE by Kelly Loy Gilbert.)
Also, your bulleted lists of examples (from famous literary works) and suggestions (for our own work) are brilliant, thank you!