The Hack’s Guide to Chairs for Writers

Warning: Hacks for Hacks tips may have harmful side effects on your writing career, and should not be used by minors, adults, writers, poets, scribes, scriveners, journalists, or anybody.

You can’t help but underestimate chairs, as they are literally under you. Since you’ll be doing almost all of your writing while sitting down, though, a chair is perhaps the most important component to your writing routine next to pens. A bad chair can cause you give up after an hour due to butt or back aches, but a chair that’s too comfy might cause you to skip writing and take a nap. The right chair can be worth its weight in gold, literally—some fancy office chairs cost a thousand dollars! But you don’t have to take out a second mortgage to find a chair that suits your needs. In this month’s Hacks for Hacks column, we’ll look at the best chairs for you and your writing style.

A chair at the kitchen table. Simple. Classic. Maybe a little wobbly. But sometimes the old reliable option is the best one.

Your desk chair in your home office. If you already have a home office, this is a no-brainer. And if you’re lucky enough to have a job where you can work from home, you don’t even have to commute, ha ha. Between work responsibilities and your writing, you could spend nearly every waking hour in that chair! Doesn’t that sound great?

Your couch. You know you’re probably wreaking havoc on your posture, but writing whilst reclining on the couch is just so comfortable. And it offers a great view of the television your laptop.

A car. This sounds ridiculous, but it makes more sense than spending a thousand bucks on a fancy office chair. Plus the sound system is better. For improved productivity, though, don’t write while driving. Have someone else drive you instead.

A park bench. A wooden bench isn’t the most comfortable seat for long periods of time, but the scenery and fresh air are second to none. Of course, the October chill is setting in, and we’ve still got this pandemic on, so you probably can’t do this one for five or six months at least. Sorry :(

The chair you made as a woodworking project. Don’t you feel accomplished for completing this? Writing involves so much time at a computer creating digital artifacts, isn’t it satisfying to create a tangible object with your own hands? You often think about this chair while you’re writing on the couch, as this one is too uncomfortable to actually sit on.

Your chair at work. Nothing like banging out a few hundred words during your lunch break. Carving out a few minutes from your workday to write feels almost subversive, does it not? Your chair at the office is way nicer than anything you could afford for yourself. It’s even got wheels and spins around. Whee!

photo by Tattoo Guy

A coach seat on an airplane. It’s cramped, it’s uncomfortable, it has a seatbelt. It’s also 30,000 feet in the air and comes with a soft drink and pretzels. Can’t beat that!

A Replica of the Iron Throne. In George R. R. Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire series, the Iron Throne was made of the swords of the king’s conquered foes; the swords remained sharp so that no king would sit too easily upon it. You can show off your fandom and your dedication to your craft by buying an Iron Throne replica to use as your writing chair. For a writer, a chair you might accidentally kill yourself with gives new meaning to the term “deadline.” This is a drastic measure, but I’d expect nothing less from an author as productive as George R. R. Martin.

Your bed. Okay, it’s not exactly a chair, but you can sit in it, and it’s so comfortable, you feel like you could stay here all day! And yet, a small part of you screams for you not to allow your work to encroach into your place of rest, like you’re inviting a vampire into your home. Is there no respite from your writing career? Can you not have even one refuge from the bottomless hunger of the blank page? But it’s too late, for writing and storytelling are the stuff of dreams, and therefore even in your slumber you cannot hide from the hungry god that is your daily word count. Sleep well, and get back to work.

What chair do you use for writing? Have a seat in the comments section and tell us about it!

[coffee]

Bill Ferris

After college, Bill Ferris (he/him) left Nebraska for Florida to become a rich and famous rock star. Failing that, he picked up the pen to become a rich and famous novelist. He now lives in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, and looks forward to a life of poverty and ridicule.

www.famousauthorbillferris.com