Writing in a World on Fire
By Cathy Yardley | June 5, 2020 |
Photo by id-iom.
There is a meme, started by Matt Jones (@tinyarmoredone), that goes as follows:
me: *opens mouth to scream into the void*
the void: sorry, man we’re full up
me: what?
the void: there’s no more room, we’re teeming with screams
me: but –
the void: We. Are. At. Full. Capacity. Sir. Try a pillow.
It’s been feeling like the teeming void for a long time, and 2020 has only amplified it. The void’s at full capacity, but the screams just keep on coming.
I write romances. To be even more specific, I write geeky romantic comedies. All my agents have characterized my voice as incorporating humor: it’s a selling point, it’s my shtick, it’s my brand.
Needless to say, I have not been feeling inspired.
It’s been hard for me to be motivated to write about love, no matter how much I believe in it, and laughs have been thin on the ground. Rather than story ideas, I have been hit with a powerful and inchoate rage, so immeasurable and overwhelming that I feel like I could spontaneously combust.
Putting my writer’s coach cap on, I keep trying to think of what I would say, if I were faced with a writer who was struggling with depression and despair in the face of a world on fire. This is the best I can come up with:
1. Self-care first. I literally always say this to my clients. We are writers, but that’s not all we are. Martyring ourselves for our writing is not doing anyone any good. Without a reserve of health and energy, your writing will suffer anyway. Drink some water. Get some exercise. Take deep breaths. Stay away from social media if you need to. Keep track of your health, physical, mental, and emotional.
2. Don’t discount what you’re doing. I saw a post from a friend who remarked that she’d felt bad about being “nothing more” than a mid-list romance author… until a woman brought some well-worn books for her at a book signing, asking her to autograph them because they had helped her mother get through chemo. From then on, she said she shook off any critique from people who wanted to belittle her writing or her genre. You don’t need to be writing War and Peace in order to have a large influence on people’s lives.
3. Don’t discount what you’re doing, part 2. Just because you’re writing what might seem like a silly story – a space opera, a high fantasy, a romance, a cozy mystery – doesn’t mean that you can’t get across bigger, meaningful issues if you want. People wrote off YA fiction for decades, and now it’s a showcase of political and personal discourse, from The Hunger Games to The Hate U Give. Across a spectrum of genres, you can take what you’re feeling, what you believe, and give it a voice. In fact, if you’re struggling with making sense of what you feel the world ought to be like, or how bigger evils need to be faced, this might be the perfect outlet.
4. Lean in. This will seem completely counter-intuitive, but bear with me. If you are feeling anger at injustice, say, or the anxiety of the pandemic, don’t try to distract yourself from it or frantically escape from it, at least not in a manic way. Compulsively trying to run from a thing or pretend it doesn’t exist isn’t going to banish it, and ultimately the emotion will come out in some more insidious, possibly destructive manner. Process it. Talk to someone compassionate. Be present and feel what you’re feeling. It’s cliché, but the only way out is through… and a lot of what’s happening in the world has been a direct result of ignoring the obvious for too long.
5. Scream on the page. There is a danger in keeping your emotions locked in your head and your heart. Think of your psyche as a finite container: if you suppress what you’re feeling, and continually add more and more information and fuel for the fire of anger and despair, then it’s no shock that you’ll either shut down or explode, however that looks. Whether it’s fiction or journaling, if you identify as a writer, odds are good you’ll feel better if you leach some of the poison via writing. It will give the amorphous emotion structure. If it doesn’t, it will at least give it space, which sometimes is all you need.
6. Try something new. Rather than trying to figure out how I can take my current emotional state and carve out a comedy, I’ve been experimenting in new genres that better reflect what I’m feeling. I’m writing more non-fiction essays. I have been reading suspense, thrillers, horror. I’ve been doing cultural research in alternate mythologies. I have no idea if any of this will pan out in the long term, but it keeps me from spinning in that horrible whirlpool of fury.
I don’t have any better answers, and honestly, most days I feel like I’m barely keeping it together. But I am doing my best to speak my truth when possible, take care of myself when necessary, and keep moving forward as best I can. And I am sending all my care and love to people, especially my fellow writers who are struggling to scream into their pillows before getting their words out to the world.
What is your advice to stay stable and keep writing when the world feels like it’s in chaos? What support can you offer others? What are you finding helps you?
Cathy Yardley has published over 33 novels, novellas, and serialized fiction, both traditionally and independently. In 2011, she started RockYourWriting.com, with the mission of helping novelists make a living. She has helped hundreds of authors as a developmental editor, writing coach, and through her “plot sessions” – one-on-one calls that get authors from concept to plot points in one hour. She’s also written the Rock Your Writing series of reference books, taking authors through the writing cycle, from concept to completion. Sign up for her newsletter, and you can receive free downloads to help you plot and revise your novel.
Hi Cathy,
THANK you for your new post, Writing in a World on Fire. Your points helped this morning after I’ve been up since 4:30, reviewing the news and facebook….The opening script/dialogue epitomizes the feelings I have …and your reminders about taking care of one’s self are just what I needed. Breathe. Take care.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Cathy
The Void is at full capacity, but there is always vacancy on the page. I love this, Cathy, thank you!
One thing that helps me is to avoid (or severely limit) news reports in the morning, work as best I can in a state of partial denial for as long as I can, and only go in for deeper reads in the afternoon. Even then, I have to listen to my body’s response, and be forgiving if I need to step away.
My WIP does lend itself to some of today’s themes, and I guess that cuts both ways; I want to get to the end. I need that resolution. I’m motivated to do this one thing, at least.
Stay safe and healthy!
I am balancing staying informed and managing my mental health at this point, so putting limits on news and especially social media have been helping somewhat. I figure a regular meditation practice (a tiny one — maybe 10 minutes if I’m lucky, daily) would probably do wonders, but I’m not quite there yet. Thanks for commenting!
Cathy, this is great advice. Thanks for sharing these tips. I would only add that it is important at a time when it is easy to fall into despair to establish a daily routine. This routine should include activities to nourish the mind, as well as the body. It is also crucial to stay in touch with friends and loved ones, despite the social restrictions. And continue to write, even if your writing consists of keeping a journal about your thoughts on the painful time our country finds itself going through. As writers, we have a vital voice and we must use it. This is a daunting and divisive time. We can be a force to promote better understanding of the human condition and equal justice for all. I hope you are well!
The toughest thing I’m finding is that my instinct is to write, and I certainly want to ensure that my voice is being counted, because I firmly believe that to be silent is to be complicit, and neutrality benefits the oppressor. That said, this is definitely a time for me to be looking at what I’m doing. Racism is systemic, and I have been living in the system for a good long time. Even as a person of color, I know I’m not blameless. I have a voice, but it needs to be used to support, not lead, because this is a struggle I haven’t had to endure on the same level as so many others. I need to listen, and reflect, and help where I can, as best I can. Thanks for commenting, and take care out there!
Thanks Cathy for a great post that captures much of my own recent experience. I also want to extend what CG Blake is speaking to here.
I have been asking myself why it might be exactly right that I might find myself unable to write a word of my current novel. The answer that came to me, during this time of crumbling societal structures, is that I am being called by life to engage writing skills I have been able to hone in the privileged setting of my hitherto ‘safe world’ to use them as an active citizen of the collective.
I am listening to the voice in me that can sound like a judgmental self critic yet is actually like you, Cathy, my own personal ‘developmental editor and writing coach’. That voice is telling me that the world needs me to raise my voice and put my skills at the service of social justice. Social media offers myriad places (like this here now,) where I can write my truth and stand in as an engaged citizen speaking for and with people experiencing oppression. and thereby helping to co-create a world that is more socially just, kind and loving than the world into which I was born.
And in such a context, I see your named gift of humor, sensitively deployed, as having an especially valuable role to play. Thanks for listening🌈
Your voice is valuable. Thank you so much for commenting.
I love this. Thank you for voicing my angst. With a book coming out in July, I thought my dream was happening, but then the world crashed and horror unfolded on our streets, and I want to help and I want to do something and I feel guilty for my writing dream.
this is just so hard.
Thanks for the reassurance that it is and that’s okay and I’m not the only one.
I have several friends who have releases coming out right now, and yeah, it’s weird to say “the world is imploding! But I have a book on sale!” That said, as one of my favorite clients pointed out, as authors we have to do our jobs. And again, your book may be just what a reader needs right now. Hang in there. :)
Fear. It’s the root of racism.
It’s also what keeps good people with good intent feeling resigned to the status quo, feeling cynical about change, and believing that they personally have done nothing wrong, joining the hashtag chorus when alarmed today but firing up the barbecue when things settle down next week.
The status quo is not okay. Do we really want to return to “normal”?
The pandemic has showed us that we can live differently. Driving less is not tragic. We can do without flour for a day. Connecting with friends far away is great.
There is time to think.
If you are a reader, buy a book—just one—that was written by someone not of your cultural background, or one book that challenges your assumptions. If you are a writer, ask how your story is keeping readers, and you, comfortable and safe.
Living differently for a better world means big reforms in our institutions but also small shifts in our daily lives. Don’t think those matter? Consider this small action: using a pen to tick a box on your absentee ballot.
Small action, big effect, but only if you do it. Donate ten dollars today, twenty tomorrow. We can do without flour for a day.
Then buy a book. Read it. And write your own. If writers before us had not done that, our normal today would be much worse. Above all, do not be afraid. The good story with good intent will win in the end.
Don, thanks for this advice. Also, President Obama had some great advice in his recent town hall meeting. Among other things, people can write to their Member of Congress with a specific request for criminal justice reform. There are a lot of credible research papers out there on racial justice and police reform, including some produced by the Justice Department under previous administrations. Real substantive change will only come when public policy and the culture and training are changed. I used to work for a law enforcement association and (believe me) most police chiefs want change.
Thank you Cathy for this reflection, and also all the people who have commented. The connections I made with you all at the Uncon last year are one of the most useful gifts for me right now. I love Don’s questions too… always the questions!
I am in Canada but have also spent most of this week sleepless and appalled and wondering where to go from here, seeing that I also can so easily share some links on social media… and then move on.
I don’t want that but as a white person distant from the immediate trauma it is sadly the – historically – most likely outcome. That’s a hard truth to acknowledge.
My current work is morphing too in response, interesting how things become woven in.
Best wishes to you all
I can’t think of anything people need more now than “geeky romantic comedies” the more formulaic the better.
Great post, Cathy, and each of us has to determine how we LIVE in this world right now AND write. We have to know and acknowledge what is happening. We cannot turn away. So I read the news in the morning, take a walk, and write in the afternoon. And yes, there are other things that fill my day, but I am often thinking about our country and how I can take the events of the week and distill them into the blog post I write every Sunday. It’s my way to tamp down the fear, or use my anger, or just enjoy creating sentences beyond the novel writing. Each has their own way of coping. The thing is YES, be informed, but cope and write. Some days the heavy lifting is heavier than others.
What a warmhearted, helpful, and necessary post. Thank you, Cathy–I’m going to share it in my next newsletter for authors.
What I’m writing is a mainstream trilogy (Book 2), with a disabled main character, and a tragic but ultimately rewarding love story – and that’s got plenty of room for all kinds of angst, and something always comes through.
As a person with both ME/CFS and a mobility disability, there aren’t many other things I can do, except to keep myself safe and not cause a burden for medical personnel and essential workers by catching covid-19 (and possibly not surviving – my cohort isn’t doing so well).
And sending money. That’s always helpful. And putting my oar in where appropriate in the race against racism.
The angst is there. And five years from now when I look back, it will still be in my writing sub rosa.
I’m doing the best I can do.
Just adding to the chorus of, “Great post, thank you.” It’s so helpful to have concrete advice like this, as well as the reassurance that we’re all experiencing similar creative feelings and challenges right now.
Thank you, Cathy. I feel so lost and unfocused with everything going on…and then I feel guilty because I am a white woman with immense privilege who never really took the time to UNDERSTAND the plight of POC until the last few years. So I feel almost like a hypocrite now because I’m posting stuff on FB and Twitter that I never did before, but it’s because I feel so passionate about it now. I’m sure many of my friends and relatives are wondering what the heck happened to me, ha! And I so much want to just bury myself in writing my novel but I am constantly drawn back to social media to see what is going on now so I can stay updated. It’s exhausting.
I appreciate your post so much. I need to take some concrete steps to work through these feelings. I’ve been journaling, but I don’t know if it’s enough to process everything.
Melissa, I completely relate to your post. I’m an American who has lived in Australia for 30 + years, and experienced the race riots in the 60’s by marching and showing support. I now feel unable to help in any meaningful way, and also feel immobilised by grief and rage. It’s hard to do much of anything but stay informed, and take my dog for long walks on the beach when it gets too much.
Thank you for opening up to us. This is priceless!
You are Priceless!
Thank you for this sensitive and insightful post!