Your Words or Your Editor’s?
By Jim Dempsey | May 12, 2020 |
This month’s fiction therapy is a reply to a question from a member of the WU community, Nanette J. Purcigliotti.
I had edited some of Nanette’s work, and she had some questions afterwards, with concerns that I think many writers have about working with an editor. Here’s what she wrote:
“I thank you again for your revised suggestions. But they are your words, not mine. That doesn’t make me comfortable. How do I get around that?”
A fair question, I think, and I completely understand Nanette’s concern. Working with an editor means that some of that person’s suggestions, and even words, could make their way into your work, a work that is deeply personal to you. And this can be done to the point that it doesn’t feel like your words. I can get that, and I can understand that an author would be uncomfortable with that.
Here are a couple of sentences from Nanette’s text as an example of where she had this feeling. Please realize that these sentences are taken out of the context of the whole story, so they’re difficult to judge on their own:
Amanda’s mother appeared[1] in the bedroom’s oak-wood doorframe. She tapped the right heel of her Jimmy Choo shoes, said to her fourteen-year-old daughter[2], “This is no time to daydream. You’re beginning a new term in a new school.”
And here are two of the revision suggestions I made.
[1] The word “appeared” is a little passive. This seems to be a no-nonsense character. I think she’d wake Amanda from her dream with a hard rap on the doorframe, making Amanda turn to see her mother.
[2] The phrase “said to her fourteen-year-old daughter” here looks like exposition, like this is information the author wants to tell the readers. It would be better to let this detail come out in the story more naturally. And the next sentence has the perfect opportunity as you could revise that to: “You’re starting eighth grade at a new school.” Or: “You’re fourteen now. You won’t be able to dream your way through your new school.”
Here is Nanette’s latest draft of these sentences after my suggestions:
There was a loud knock on the door. Amanda spun around. Her mother’s blunt haircut highlighted the clean lines of her Donna Karen power suit. Her Gucci portfolio was tucked under her arm. Wearing her Jimmy Choo shoes, she tapped the sole of her right shoe. “Daydreaming again?”
And here is what Nanette says about those changes:
The first version of my book was in first person. When I changed to close third person, I wrote Mother “appeared in the doorway.” But I was never satisfied with “appeared.” When Jim pointed out that it sounded passive, I cut it. I changed the suggested “rap” on the door to “loud knock.” In an earlier version, I had the mother say, “Daydreaming again?” It felt right. I wanted the mother’s words to whiplash, so I put it back into current version.
As I read over Nanette’s revisions based on my suggestions – and it’s important to remember that these were only suggestions – it’s clear she’s changed the text to make it her own. She knows Amanda’s mother so much better than me, which means that she knows her voice, that her words whiplash, and she changed that to suit.
Author’s choice
In the end, Nanette didn’t change the text in the way I suggested. She made her own revisions. Yes, those revisions might have been based on my suggestions, but the point of those suggestions is more to let the author see where a reader might have problems and to think about another way of saying the same thing.
It’s the author who makes the final choice of which words go into the sentence in which order. Even if those words are the same as those I suggested, it’s still the author’s choice to include them, not mine. And I feel that makes it the author’s work.
In this case, I had made these suggestion as part of a free sample edit that I provide to all authors. The point of the sample is to give authors a chance to see what works for you and what doesn’t. If you think that these suggestions are intruding too much – in the cases where I actually suggest how the sentence should be rewritten – then we can work with that. That’s great feedback. Some people like rewrite suggestions, others don’t. And so, if the author prefers, I could point out what I think doesn’t work in the sentence and how to revise it without offering a rewrite of the words.
In the above example, rather than suggest how to rewrite the sentence, I could say instead:
[2] This is the perfect opportunity to have the mother mention Amanda’s age or what grade she’d be going into, which would help this information to sound like it’s come more organically from the story. It would then be the character saying it, not the author/narrator.
This is your book, and the author and editor have to work together to make this the best book that you can make it.
Taking the credit
The author could then decide to credit the editor when the book is finally published. I never ask for a credit in a book I’ve worked on. It’s great when I get them, and pretty much every author does give me credit, but I also understand when they don’t, and they maybe don’t for a multitude of reasons. That’s their personal choice too because it is their book. I also don’t think anybody takes a credit to an editor as that meaning it’s partly that person’s work. I’ve certainly never thought about it that way, either of my own work or when I read a credit in another novel. I always love to read the finished book that I’ve worked on because it’s such a huge moment for that author, but I’ve never read over the book again and thought, “Oh, yes, that line was mine.” And that’s because it never is mine. The author always makes it their own.
The bottom line is that I work for the author, and that has to be in a way that suits the author. I can understand that it can feel intrusive at times, and so such sample edits give an opportunity for us to work out the best way to give my feedback, in a way that works for the author. And all good editors will do that. So, if you feel your editor is getting in the way, tell them so, and make them work for you. After all, you, the customer, is always right.
Have you ever felt like some words in your book didn’t come from you? If so, how did you feel about it? How do you reconcile the idea of accepting input from an editor, beta readers or early reviewers into your work? Do you feel you still own it?
Nanette J. Purcigliotti is currently writing her first novel. She is also working on a retelling of the Orpheus and Eurydice myth, with computer art illustrations, and she has book of her computer art available in the Apple Books store, The Myth of Cyber City.
Jim Dempsey (he/him) is a book editor who specializes in detailed analysis and editing of novel manuscripts through his company, Novel Gazing. He has worked as an editor for more than 20 years. He has a master’s degree in creative writing and is a professional member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading and is a trustee of the Arkbound Foundation. Jim is fascinated by the similarities between fiction and psychotherapy, since both investigate the human condition, the things that make us uniquely human. He explores this at The Fiction Therapist website. If you have a specific concern with your novel, send an email to jim [at] thefictiontherapist.com, or visit the website to ask for a free sample edit. You can follow Jim on Instagram @the_fiction_therapist.
I love this article! As an editor, I’m much more inclined to make suggestions in comments than changes in track changes. That’s why my editorial tagline is “editing with an eye to perfection and total respect for the author’s vision and voice.”
If your editor doesn’t respect your vision and voice, it’s time to find a new editor. (Thanks for letting me rant.)
Exactly, Judith. There’s no way I’d make major changes like this directly in the text. This has to be done through a carefully worded suggestion in a comment box, precisely, as you say, to preserve the author’s voice.
Thanks for your input, Judith. I really appreciate it.
Thanks for your timely article. Being traditionally published with more than one publisher means working with several different editors.
I ran into a problem with a new editor who wanted me to change what my heroine was thinking and feeling in the first chapter. I was advised to do it and move on but wasn’t happy because the character didn’t feel like ‘mine’ anymore. After letting the chapter sit for a few days, I’d gained enough distance and added humorous snark to her introspection and the character was mine again, making us both happy.
Sounds like a good solution, Carrie. And it goes along with the point I was trying to make: the editor can point out an issue and even offer word for word revision suggestions, and the purpose of doing that is not so much for the author to use those exact suggestions but to get the author to see the issue, and using an example of a possible solution is often a helpful way of explaining it. When the author then comes up with their own solution it is (almost always) better, and it sounds like that’s what happened in this case. Glad to hear you’re happy with the changes you made.
I recently had two rounds of what I would call developmental editing from my publisher (my book releases March 2021). There were a few instances where I “fought” back and resisted the changes she suggested but for the most part she pointed out opportunities to go deeper, make the context more clear, or develop the character to a greater extent than I had. The “rewordings” were also spot on so perhaps I just have an editor whose style mirrors my own because I had no problem with most of the changes. The only time I said an empathetic no was when she thought my protagonist should call a group of thugs “neo-Nazis” which I thought was too over the top. I changed to alt-right skinheads.
It’s so important to find an editor whose style you like. Writing a book is such a personal experience, there is always so much of yourself in those pages, you cannot let just anyone mess around with that. Of course, you’ll never always agree on everything, and you don’t always get much of a choice with some traditional publishers, but it sounds like it’s worked out well for you, Maggie. And congratulations on your forthcoming publication. Don’t forget to remind us all it’s out nearer the time.
Great article…thoroughly explained as well.
As an agented and self-published author, I feel lucky to get valuable feedback all the time, both from my agent, as well as any interested publisher. And because my agent knows me and my writing better than anyone, he hooks me up with editors who match my personality and my level of open-mindedness.
I once had an editor at one of the big 5 interested in a YA my agent had submitted on my behalf. She offered nearly 30 pages of notes before she would even sign me. She asked me to bring one character back to life, and to nix another. Every day I cried while
working on the changes because it was so stressful. In the end, said editor moved to a different house and consequently did not take my book with her. HOWEVER: Because of her notes, the book evolved into a beautiful story, and today it is a strong seller as a self-pubbed novel. I honestly do not think the book would be as layered and cohesive had I not worked with her.
But I do want to mention that while editors are found in publishing houses and private industry, there are also non-professional editors, like the ones found in writing critique groups.
I used to belong to one such group. An older gal had written a beautiful love story that took place in the 1920s. A few people in the group were adamant that she needed to make certain changes, getting rid of entire scenes, turning the book from third to first person. Sadly, the writer took all of their notes to heart. Within a few months, her book was unrecognizable as the one she started out with. It broke my heart, because I could tell she was no longer happy with it.
My point is that depending on how much you trust the editor you are working with, and in what capacity, all notes should be discussed, digested, and utilized in a way that makes the best story possible. In the end, it is YOUR story. And in the end, the writer is the one who has to live with any decisions made. And if you and an editor, whether at a large house or in the private sector, do not agree on the important things, then another important decision must be made: whether to succumb or move on.
Great advice, Leslie. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experience. I wish you all the best with your writing.
Jim, I’ve been blessed with wonderful editors who edit with a light touch, never changing my voice, rather making it more clear. I’m so grateful. So I strive to do the same for my own clients and right up front I let them know that it’s their book, to keep what resonates and ditch the rest. Sometimes, esp. for beginning writers, it is easier to rewrite a bit to show clearly how to make a passage shine and most people appreciate the guidance.
Your comments feel respectful and clarifying. These are small things that writers don’t notice, but are edits that make the text smoother and more readable. I’m surprised she felt you were putting your words into her work. To me they are clearly suggestions (good ones).
Her revision feels clunky to me, with details, now, that pull the reader out of the story, and impede the action.
Sometimes I think writers want feedback because they expect the editor to say, “It’s perfect!” They’re not looking for constructive comments as much as they’re looking for praise. Understandable, I suppose, we all want that, but it doesn’t make you a better writer.
I remember an edit I got from my agent once that made me so mad that I put the comments away, and the book I had sent her, and didn’t pull it out again until about 2 months later. When I read what I’d written, and her comments, I thought, “She’s absolutely right!”
I’m still revising that book!
Thanks for your input, Samantha. It certainly is vital for an editor to respect the author’s words and vision and to try to phrase any suggestions not as criticism – because it’s not – but only to show where readers might have diffiulties.
It’s also tricky, as I said in the article, to judge those few sentences out of the context of the whole story, and I want to be clear that Nanette was definitely not someone who wanted me to say it was perfect. I know you’re not suggesting she is and making a more general statement, but she’s been wonderful to work with because of her openness and her willingness to share her thoughts and concerns. Those are essential to a successful working relationship between an editor and an author as a novel goes through it various drafts. That, as you so perfectly point out, can take some time, sometimes months or even longer.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, Samantha, and I wish you all the very best for your rewriting process.
Jim, This is a great subject. I have a developmental editor who took issue with the first draft of my new novel. (First draft = messy first attempt). She didn’t like one of the characters and had a problem with the subplots. I made changes to the character which greatly improved the story, and adjusted the subplots a bit. However, there were other suggestions she made that I disagreed with, so I left things as they were. She and I came to agreement as we proceeded through the second draft, and the third draft went out to beta readers recently. I’m getting some good feedback from them.
As a relatively new author (one published novel to date), I’ve come to realize that a work of fiction is not the product of just one mind. Although my name is on the cover, many others contributed in some way to the finished product. I guess that’s what the Acknowledgments page is for.
You make an excellent point, Kay, that publishing a book is a collaborative process. It’s something too many people don’t realize, especially in these days of self-publishing where it’s tempting to skip vital steps to produce a quality publication. And for those of us who didn’t have that initial idea and put in the hardest part of the work – getting those words onto the page – we’re usually very happy, delighted even, if we manage to get a mention on that acknowledgments page.
Good luck with your new book. And thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts here.
“There was a loud knock on the door. Amanda spun around.”
A loud knock on the door spun Amanda around.
Thank you, Jim. This article has placed you at the top of my editor list. By the way, I find a good editor to be God’s best gift to writers at any level of writing. Those acknowledgments are heart-felt!
That’s so kind of you, Donna. Thanks for this vote of confidence.
Please know that you can always send a a free sample edit first, as Nanette did. Just click on my name in this reply, because, as you say, you need to a find a good editor, and that means somone you feel comfortable with, someone who’s not going to put words into your work.
I look forward to hearng from you!