Writing When You’re Not Writing
By Jim Dempsey | March 10, 2020 |
This month for Fiction Therapy, I answer a question from a member of the WU community, Al Rutgers.
Al is 63 years old and has been writing in starts and stops for 15 years. He says:
I’ve studied the craft of writing by taking some university writing courses, some online courses, and reading books and blogs about writing. My favourite way of studying writing is to write, in longhand, chapters of novels, stories or essays by writers I admire: John Steinbeck, Alice Munro, Joan Didion, Zadie Smith.
I know I am able to write as evidenced by winning four writing contests, but I am unable to write every day. In fact, I often don’t write for months and then suddenly have a flurry of writing.
I realize that this defeats my ability to hone my skills and I tend to beat myself up about it. I live in a state of guilt thinking that I am cheating my life by not knuckling down and committing to the craft.
One could argue that with every new story a writer is once again a beginner, faced with the task of having to learn all over again how to write. Knowing this though does not bolster my confidence. Do you have any motivational strategies that would push me over this hump?
This is an issue that affects many writers: that feeling of lacking the commitment to sit down and get the work done, if not every day, then certainly more than you currently do.
For some extra context, Al also suffers from chronic pain, something that I know many others in WU community also suffer. He writes:
Many writers in writing groups I’m involved in suffer from chronic health issues, and this inevitably leads to delays in their work. Chronic health issues and depression are common in many writers—think Dostoyevsky and Hemmingway. Admittedly some writers use these obstacles as motivations in their writing, but others, such as me, find they are roadblocks.
Here’s my advice to Al and anyone else confronted with the same issue.
Self-kindness
First, you could try to be kinder to yourself and not blame yourself when you don’t write. Remind yourself that you quite clearly can write. In Al’s case, he’s already won four writing contests and published several stories. It’s also a big achievement to be able to just sit down and actually write anything rather than do everything else on your undoubtedly long list of routine chores, family duties, work (if any) and other responsibilities. Even if you only write sporadically, you can be proud of yourself if you manage to make the time to get any writing done at all.
Remember, too, that writing is not all about tapping at a keyboard or scribbling with a pen. In the time when you’re not doing that, you’re still writing. As John Irving said, “Before you can write anything, you have to notice something.”
Those months, days, hours and moments of not writing is when you’re noticing. That’s why you can have those flurries of productivity; you’ve already worked out so much of the story in your head, even if that was done unconsciously.
Drifting thoughts
Accept this as your way of working, your way of honing those skills. And when your mind starts telling you to feel guilty, recognize that as nothing more than the thought it is, and let it pass on by without paying it too much attention. It’s dwelling on the thought that makes it a problem, not the thought itself.
Therapists call this diffusion, and it’s a common mindfulness technique. Many of you will have heard variations on this. A common one is to imagine your thoughts as clouds floating across a clear sky. Let those clouds float on by without concentrating too much on any one of them. Another idea on the same theme is to see your thoughts as leaves on a stream, floating away till the next one comes along.
But wait! You’re a writer. You need to hold on to at least some of those thoughts. You can’t let them all drift by or you’ll only be writing about floaty leaves and clouds.
The trick then is to recognize which thoughts are useful and which are not. It’s about flexibility. Make it your choice. You can hold onto the thought about the perfect murder—for writing purposes only, of course—but the one that says you should be getting all of this onto the page right now can just drift on by.
One technique for improving this kind of flexibility is to label those thoughts. Give them a name. The useful thoughts, like writing thoughts, can hang around a while. And then you can let go of those less useful ones (it’s generally not helpful to label them good and bad, to be so subjective). “There’s that guilty thought again,” you might say. “Goodbye guilty thought. Come back delicious murder thought.”
Meditation helps to improve this mental flexibility. There are many good guided meditations out there on exactly this theme. This one from Naomi Goodlet is a good place to start. Find one that suits you and, with some practice, you’ll be able to pick and choose which thoughts are helpful for your writing—and maybe even elsewhere in your life—and which are not.
Do you ever feel guilty about not spending enough time on your writing? What techniques do you use to get over that guilt? In what other ways are you writing when you’re not actually getting words down onto a page?
Thanks to Al Rutgers for being so open, frank and generous to share his thoughts. You can find his most recently published short story “Farming” on the Canadian arts journal Jam & Sand.
If you have a specific concern about your novel or writing life, send an email to jim [at] thefictiontherapist.com and I’ll do my best to help.
Jim Dempsey (he/him) is a book editor who specializes in detailed analysis and editing of novel manuscripts through his company, Novel Gazing. He has worked as an editor for more than 20 years. He has a master’s degree in creative writing and is a professional member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading and is a trustee of the Arkbound Foundation. Jim is fascinated by the similarities between fiction and psychotherapy, since both investigate the human condition, the things that make us uniquely human. He explores this at The Fiction Therapist website. If you have a specific concern with your novel, send an email to jim [at] thefictiontherapist.com, or visit the website to ask for a free sample edit. You can follow Jim on Instagram @the_fiction_therapist.
A kind and positive and constructive approach to a common writer issue! Bookmarking this to share in my newsletter. Thanks for another great post, Jim–I always enjoy your “fiction therapy.” 😊
Thank you for sharing, Tiffany. Glad you thought it could be useful.
Jim
I’m so tired of “experts” telling us we are not a writer unless we write every day. That we should imitate those writers who write every day or they die. “It’s the breath in their lungs!” Spare me. I write when parts of the story become clear. In the gaps, I study, live my life, and not beat myself up because I’m not “sitting butt in chair”. I feel my work is better because of it.
It’s incredible that we’re still surprised when we learn that everyone is different, that everyone needs to find their own way of writing or doing anything. These rules about what we must or must not do can never apply to everyone.
And it sounds like you’ve vvfound your path, Pam. Well done.
Chronic migraineur here and oh how I feel the pain of not being able to work at times, work that I love. But when I cannot be on the computer, I can still write in my notebook. Or read. Or day-dream. Sing. Pray. Sleep. Over the years, I’ve learned to let go and let God. Thanks for the reminder to exercise kindness.
That pain can come in so many ways. And you’re right, I think we can always use a reminder to be more kind to ourselves.
There are many ways to be a writer. Whether we are known to many or only a few; whether we write every day or have massive spurts of creativity–our penchant is for that process, that yearning to put words to the page. Great post, and thanks.
Exactly, Beth. You just have to find what works for you.
Thanks
Awesome post, Jim. I must share!
I’m a believer. I call it marinating. And I honestly believe that marinating ideas is just as important as writing them. A large percentage of the writing process happens in one’s head.
Time to share your steller post.
Yours,
Denise (Dee)
Marinating. Great. Let it all soak in for a while.
Thanks for the share, Dee.
I feel for this writer. Once upon a time, I was a gainfully employed freelance writer with regular gigs that allowed my to live as a genuine, certified adult, paying my bills and giving to charities. Today, due to various circumstances, some beyond my control, some not, I am a full-time caregiver to my mother. My income last year consisted of two paychecks and a gift card from Amazon. It’s encouraging to remember that fellow writers are in similar straits and not giving up. Thanks, Al, for sharing your story.
Yes, it was very generous of Al to share so much. And thank you too, Christine. Keep on going on.
“Do you ever feel guilty about not spending enough time on your writing?”
Yup. I haven’t found a real solution yet, but I still managed to publish the 5th novel in my mystery series in July 2019. I hope to finish my 6th this year but I’m only about 8K words in so far. Political Twitter has been a major distraction and time waster for me since 2016.
Sometimes if my writing stalls, I’ll do some research. Today I’m researching the burlesque scene in Cleveland in the 50s and 60s as background for a character. Given my novels take place in the 90s, I like to do a lot of historical research — anything from Google to the Wayback Machine to old books and movies — to keep my stories realistic, plus the research is a good segue from staring at my WIP to getting something written.
Like Al, I’ve sometimes gone for months without writing, frequently beating myself up about it. I find keeping a writing notebook-cum-journal helpful. On the left-hand page, I write something about my day, something encouraging if I can. On the right-hand page, I do some “noodling” (or thinking in ink) about my WIP, whether it’s about the plot or the characters or a particular scene. That warms me up for tackling my WIP. Trouble is, if I don’t feel like writing, I don’t tend to open up the journal!
Sometimes I have to look back at what I’ve accomplished so far and tell myself I can do it again. My best advice to myself is pretty simple: Keep on trying and never give up!
“Think in ink.” I like it. And, eyes, it certainly helps to look back and see that if you can do it once, you can do it again.
All the best, Ruth.
I try to remember to be as kind to myself as I would be to someone else in my situation. And I try to ease myself into the work. Sit and read for a while first, then maybe knit for a bit with the WIP file open on the screen, or scribble some ideas in an exercise book. An ungracious attitude is not conducive to good writing.
I am reminded of the story about the studio executive who demanded the writers show up promptly at nine every morning like all the other employees, instead of working whatever random hours they felt like. After a year, the exec calls in the head writer and shouts that all the writers are producing worthless dreck! To which the head writer replies “I can’t understand it – they were here at nine every morning!”
Great story, Deborah.
Good luck with the knitting, the reading and the writing, whichever one helps your flow.
Thanks
Great post! I stopped writing for years in college even though professors and my classmates kept encouraging me to do so. I felt so guilty too and it made me want to return to writing even less. Nowadays, I’m trying to be kinder to myself even if it’s really hard.
I don’t know if it’s my computer but I can’t seem to click the Naomi Goodlet meditation link.
Thanks, Pam. Great to hear you found the post useful, and you’re right that it can take a very long time before we get over the guilt we impose on ourselves. Kindness helps a lot, as does meditation to learn to recognize which thoughts are useful and which are not.
I’ve updated the Naomi Goodlet link in the article, and here it is too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9T5bvsyc5Tw.
Thanks again, Pam.
All the best.