Epiphany in the (Literal) Eye of the Tornado
By Kim Bullock | October 28, 2019 |
Downed street sign in my neighborhood after the Dallas tornadoes
It wasn’t supposed to happen. October 20th had been a warm, cloudless day here in Dallas, and though a line of thunderstorms was forecasted to roll through later that night, no one expected more than some rumbles and a bit of rain. After dinner, my husband crossed the street to watch the Cowboys game with our neighbors. My daughters and I binge-watched Glee on Netflix. My cell phone was in another room. Sasha did homework and wasn’t on hers. We might have remained oblivious if Ashlyn hadn’t been on Snapchat and felt her phone vibrate with the first alert.
Tornado warning.
It wasn’t raining or even windy, so at first we thought the alert was for somewhere far away. Wrong. By the time I got to my phone, my weather app sent out alerts faster than I could read them. We turned on a news broadcast, blaring the volume in the hope we might hear it from our interior bathroom, the only place in our house with no windows. To call it a safe room is an overstatement, but basements don’t exist in Texas and few people have storm shelters, so that’s where we went, bringing the animals in with us. It’s a semi-annual routine that raises my blood pressure and lowers my sanity, mostly because that room is the kids’ domain and I don’t go in there if I can help it. I forget how badly it needs to be cleaned until I’m faced with the prospect of cramming into a tub that probably hasn’t seen a sponge since 2016.
My husband texted, Do I need to come home?
By then the siren blared, but the tornado was apparently near downtown. Close, but not close. I told him to stay put.
The alerts continued. A confirmed tornado on the ground in Preston Hollow, an upscale neighborhood I know well because Sasha had a private tutor there during the years she’d been home-schooled. I cringed, imagining (correctly) the fate of our local independent bookstore.
The storm moved northeast at a fast clip. My husband, who remained in front of a TV in a room that included not one, but two windows, texted me updates of the path, which started to include intersections I drive through daily. Confirmed tornado by Sasha’s community college, three neighborhoods west of our house, and headed our direction. The lights flickered.
This will be close, my husband texted.
Are you in a safe room?
Not yet. It’s raining a little.
How do you know that?!
I was sitting on the floor and glanced at Ashlyn over the bulk of our portly black lab. Her head was bent over her phone, totally unfazed by the reality that our house might be ripped up within moments. Sasha listened to the news report through the cracked-open door. Her eyes grew enormous when she heard the tornado had moved just south of Kroger, headed east. We were slightly southeast of Kroger.
I’m pretty sure I hear it. Going inside now.
He’s a Missouri boy. I will never understand the Midwestern compulsion to go outside and greet the swirling tower of doom when this former New Englander would prefer to be underground. I heard nothing over the blare of the TV.
My mind raced through all the stereotypical things one expected to think about at such a time. My kids. My husband. My parents, who lived nearby and who might also soon be in danger.
Then my thoughts drifted to my current work-in-progress, a story I think about obsessively and have only just begun to compose. The characters who berate me at two a.m. would be silenced forever if I died. If I hadn’t started each day for the last six months prioritizing my to-do list and everyone else’s needs above my own work, I could have at least finished a rough draft.
Not finishing could so easily have been my last regret, and that’s not something I’ll forget any time soon. A block north of us was hit hard by the largest of the ten confirmed tornadoes that hit my city that night. It’s a miracle that no one was killed, especially since one of our local news channels neglected to cut into coverage of the Cowboys game for a full six minutes after the tornado warning was announced because, well, priorities. I drove to Preston Hollow today and by the Home Depot that was featured on the national news. The damage is staggering.
I’m giving myself this week to deal with all those nagging issues that have been interfering with my writing time. Then I will be attending the Writer Unboxed UnConference in Salem, where I know I’ll find the inspiration and motivation I’ve so desperately needed since the last time I was there. If you see me, feel free to tell me your successful tips for coming up with a writing schedule or keeping your family—not just talking kids here—from barging into your office/bedroom with demands five minutes after your fingers finally hit the keyboard. Or just offer encouragement. The story scares me, but not as much as leaving it untold.
Have any of you had a scare that made you realize your habit of putting your work last? Would the idea of your current characters/story dying with you fill you with regret?
Note: My local independent bookstore, Interabang Books, was destroyed in the tornado. They will rebuild and are moving to a temporary location. Their online business has not been affected. If you plan to order any books soon and don’t care about Prime delivery times, please consider giving them some business.
[coffee]
Kim (she/her) has an M.A. in English from Iowa State University. She writes mainly historical fiction, though has also contributed non-fiction articles to historical and Arts and Crafts publications in both the United States and Canada. She has just finished The Oak Lovers, a novel based on the rather colorful life of her great-grandfather, landscape painter Carl Ahrens.
I am so sorry to hear about your experience, Kim. Next week, when I see you, I will give you a really big hug. Be prepared. LOL.
Hugs,
Dee
Denise,
I’ll take that. :-)
Kim, I would have commented sooner, but the post failed to load. That might be why you don’t have many comments. We are in the middle of the CA fires, so your post contained many of my current thoughts. We have packed up some precious things if the fires come our way and you can be sure my computer will be the first thing in the car. Take care. Writing is upmost in our lives, but day to day living and family come first. Beth
Hi Beth,
The site was down for much of the day, so I believe this post will actually still be the lead one tomorrow since so few people would have seen it..
Those fires look awful! Stay safe!
So glad you’re ok. The big one was about 1.5 miles south of us. We heard a rush of wind but not much more; however, drive for any errand and your heart breaks. Consequently, that event didn’t put the manuscript first. The catalyst from I’ll-get-around-to-it writing to first thing of the morning was a cancer diagnosis, well okay after coffee. Believe me, that will do it and keep it there. Three years now. All kinds of goals changed. And, it became easier to say no. Refusing interruptions–errands, volunteerism, Bridge, taiji–that ate time. I knew it but just could not utter the word. Why? Who knows? Maybe psychologists have the answer. I sure didn’t until IT came. If someone knows the answer I hope they will sing out.
Hi Robin,
I didn’t know you were in Dallas! I agree about how heartbreaking it is to drive for any errand right now. The big one went on this diagonal line right through areas I go through often. I drive through it to get to my daughter’s high school, the grocery store, the gym, over to my my parent’s house. It hit my independent book store.
Yes, I imagine a cancer diagnosis would definitely be a motivator. It certainly was for an aunt of mine. She had been one of those people who almost enjoyed wallowing in misery until she heard she had limited time. Then she cut all negative people and energy out of her life. That alone likely extended her life by several years. .
I need to learn to say no more, but that’s hard because it is to family.
Glad your OK, I’m from Dallas too and we have family tales of Tornado — my favorite from my grandmother who actually saw a twister coming down a set-off street directly for her bedroom — she grabbed her diamond rings and ran to hide. Fortunately the dang thing turned at her corner and bypassed her house.
As for first things first? Along with my breakfast coffee, I jot down two things that MUST be done before bedtime — then I go do them. At present my manuscript is pulsing along but — replacement wood waiting to be painted first before it gets put up to fix rotten boards on the chimney — is just sitting on the garage floor where the cats walk on it. ROTFLOL Hopefully no tornados (in my part of Texas) will hit before the chimney gets fixed. But if not, then its Home Owners Insurance time.
Just a note: HOI can’t write a story !!
Best to you and yours :-)
Emily,
Thanks for commenting! I think everyone from around here has a tornado story or two to tell. I’ve experienced enough to last a lifetime now.
Hopefully you can get that chimney fixed before the next round of storms.
Kim, thank God nobody died. I hope you will have a wonderful time at Uncon with the time and space to reconnect to your wip. Death really puts so many things in perspective, no?
Vijaya,
Driving through the Preston Hollow area yesterday was heartbreaking. All those gorgeous homes and mature trees just decimated. It was definitely a miracle that no one died, especially those people who were caught out on the highways. It was dark and the storm was rain-wrapped so you couldn’t see it until you were in it.
Can’t wait for UnCon. I so need this. Now just hope my sinus infection clears up so I don’t make my roommate’s life miserable with all the coughing. I’m no longer contagious, but I sound awful.
So glad you’re safe, Kim, and look forward to seeing you in Salem. Superstorm Sandy was that for me. But even now, without a weather crisis, I sometimes drift away from the actual writing, doing outlines, research, random scenes, and I do worry that something could happen before I give my characters life. Thanks for the reminder.
Mary
Hi Mary,
Here’s to hoping I can remain focused. Lots going on in my personal life right now that highly effects the amount of time I have to write. There IS time, though, if I can make myself let some of the less important things go a bit.
Look forward to seeing you in Salem!
So glad you are safe.
I used to think about that – what if I don’t finish – but something happened to me over the last few years that changed that—changed a lot of ways I think about writing and my work.
I have family near Dallas (Arlington) so those tornados had me shakin’ — scary things, they are.
It was definitely scary, and driving through certain areas to bring my younger daughter to school or run other errands is heartbreaking right now. So many homes all but destroyed. So many lives in chaos.
So wish we had met while you lived near me!
This is the gift of chaos — it scrambles everything, and can lead to a re-sort of priorities. I’m so very glad that writing has nudged its way back to the top of your list, and that you and yours stayed safe that night. And thank you for the link to Interabang Books! I’ll keep them in mind as we near the holiday season. See you very soon!
Thanks T! Can’t wait to see you. Maybe we can sneak off for a Guinness or a even a walk at some point in Salem. (HA!)
Holy crap. I am grateful you and your family are safe. And yes, I had a similar epiphany that involved a health scare, though it was before I had started writing and helped me realize that life is short and holding back serves no one.
Can’t wait to see you next week. {{{{Hugs}}}}
Hi Lisa,
Yes, that was WAY too close. Now I’m just dealing with a sinus infection likely brought on by all the crap in the air from the debris and cleanup. No longer contagious, I promise, but I can’t promise I won’t be coughing. Any upper respiratory irritation really lingers in me.
Can’t wait to see you!
Hi Kim,
So glad no one was killed. I lived in Dallas a while back and still have dear friends there. No basements. No really good place to hide. I’ve also seen first hand the destruction from a tornado and the photos just don’t do it justice.
I also have a fear of something happening to me before I finish my WIP. A close writer friend of mine got a dire prognosis from her doctor and her comment to me was “I should have been writing.” It’s too easy to put other things first.
I’m new to WU and looking forward to the conference next week.
Penny
Hi Penny,
You are right that here in Dallas there really is no good place to hide in a storm. People can (and do) survive even direct hits by being in a bathtub in an interior bathroom -I’ve seen destruction where that is the only room left standing – but in the moment you do kind of feel like you’re in one of those school drills where you get under your desk and cover your head.
Welcome to WU and I look forward to meeting you next week. I’ll probably be the one coughing from the after-effects of a sinus infection I likely got from all the debris and cleanup around me. Great timing! Ugh!
Thanks for the virtual coffee!
Hey Kim – I gleaned what had happened from your comment on Barbara’s post last week. Yikes! Didn’t even know you guys were so close to harm’s way. It proves we need to stay in closer touch, for one thing.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my writing in relation to mortality. I’ve spent what I consider to be the best years of my life on this set of stories in this story-world. Each step is so massive, and takes so long. And I just can’t stand the thought of having it all just whither away, should the worst happen. Only I can see it through. Which is why I’m determined–and taking strident steps–to get it out there, one way or another. Enough is enough.
Making that decision and acting on it, day by day, is surprisingly freeing. Didn’t realize how much I had invested in (metaphorical) hand-wringing. It feels lovely to leave it behind me.
Wishing you the best with your epiphany. Thanks for clarifying and supporting mine. Can’t wait to see you and catch up! (First Guinness is on me.)
Hi Vaughn,
I sure wish having almost daily contact with you, though I certainly understand why you backed away from FB. It is a time-suck and can be toxic as well.
Good for you for making the decision to get those books out there somehow. They are too good to languish on a hard drive.
I’ll take that Guinness – I hope. I’m dealing with a sinus infection right now, likely from all the debris/cleanup around me. That’s being treated now, but I tend to get a bad cough that lingers for quite awhile after any upper respiratory anything. Alcohol sometimes makes it worse. I hope not because, for many reasons right now, I could really use a drink.
Glad you’re all okay!
I’m like your husband. I go outside and look for it and watch to see how close it gets. Can’t help it.
I remember the moment when the thought struck me that I may die without ever having finished writing the book that I’ve been working on. Just finishing that first draft was a huge weight lifted from me. It’s not published yet but it’s finished!
I’ll be sending out queries soon.
Valerie,
I admit that I’m morbidly fascinated by watching them, but only from a very safe distance. Say, though a TV screen!
So wish I’d see you at UnCon!
Though I haven’t had any life-threatening experiences recently (and the closest I’ve ever come to one was a really scary car crash 25 years ago), this is still resonating powerfully and it’s making me really glad I decided to go to UnCon. 2019 is my Year of Writing, when I renew my focus on my creative life and do things that will feed that part of my soul.
Kim, if Guinness is a no-go because of upper respiratory uck, maybe a good cup of tea from across the street will be the ticket. If so, it’s on me!
Hi Katy,
You won’t regret UnCon. I’ve been to all of them and it is a life-altering experience. There is no wall between presenters and attendees – we are all friends who cheer each other on. Don’t worry about coming into a group with a lot of already established friendships. You’ll be welcomed in, invited to come along to meals or walks, etc. The hard part is returning home and going back to reality when it is done!
I have seen that tea shop many times and never gone in even though I love tea. I must go this time! Come find me! :-)
I moved with my husband to a retirement community in Davis, CA (yup, fires – AND earthquakes), over a year ago, planning to write more.
The problem has been physical – I need five bars on my brain to write anything, and I never get that many because so many things have needed doing because we ripped up a complete life in NJ, and it takes time to replace the pieces.
But we’re making a lot of new friends here, and, as we are at the low end of the age spectrum but many here are going much higher (we have residents who are 101), we have started losing friends. That is a real wakeup call as the WIP is my legacy to the world. Volume 1 is published, and 2 is going very slowly due to the move, but I want it done.
Each passing is a realtime reminder.
I’m so glad you and yours are okay, Kim, and that the larger community held up despite the property destruction. Thank goodness for modern alert systems.
Yes, a health scare is the thing that made me pick up the pen again. There’s nothing like a jolt of mortality to make priorities clear and I hadn’t been attending to mine.
Can’t wait to see you at the UnCon! I’m preparing for the onslaught of support and inspiration.