Soothing Words for Bad Reviews
By Randy Susan Meyers | May 29, 2019 |
Please welcome bestselling author Randy Susan Meyers to Writer Unboxed today! Randy’s latest novel, WAISTED, tackles the hot and important topic of body image. More about Randy from her bio.
Randy Susan Meyers’ novels are informed by over twenty years working with criminal offenders and families impacted by emotional and physical violence. With Waisted she tackles an issue both personal and political: body image.
Reviewing Waisted, Booklist wrote “Meyers exquisitely explores body image, family, and marriage in this surprisingly deep novel. Though she starts with a fictionalized version of the TV show The Biggest Loser, she dips into major issues of race, culture, obsession, and sisterhood. Taking on the timely topic of how a woman is perceived in today’s society, she twists it into how far women will go to be what society deems right, and at what cost—a marriage, a family obligation, a personal goal? A compelling story that will leave readers giving their scale the side eye.”
Waisted has been chosen as a Top 2019 Summer read by Parade Magazine, Pop Sugar, BookBub, Women.com, Get Literary, and Brit.Com. Kirkus Review wrote, “Meyers spins a compelling tale, raising critical questions about familial, social, and cultural messages about body image . . .” and Library Journal said “Meyers delivers a timely examination of body image, family, friendship, and what it means to be a woman in modern society. It will appeal to anyone who has ever dreaded stepping on a scale; even those who haven’t will learn from it. Culturally inclusive and societally on point, this is a must-read.”
Meyers is a Brooklyn-Boston mix who believes happiness requires family, friends, books, and an occasional NY bagel. She lives in Boston with her husband where she teaches writing seminars at Boston’s Grub Street Writers’ Center.
Randy’s post offers some words of wisdom–and humor–about something all published authors have to grapple with eventually: bad reviews. Enjoy!
Soothing Words for Bad Reviews
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.
I’m talking about launch time, of course. By the time this essay is published, my newest novel, Waisted, will be out in the world. As will the reviews. From the trades, magazines (perhaps,) newspapers (maybe,) bloggers, members of Goodreads, library thing, librarians, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Audible, iTunes customers, and, most likely, my auto mechanic.
This time around I’m especially nerved-up. Waisted is the most polarizing book I’ve written. For every fiercely feminist, urgent, darkly humorous, compelling and wickedly fun, observation, I’m piling up knife-like words that indict me for even attempting to write down the inside thoughts of women reacting to a world that treats fat women as pariahs.
And do I respond, as many have written, with mature acceptance of the varied opinions of the world? Do I try, as many have written, to learn from what they write? Do I sigh and think, well, that’s their opinion?
No, I do not. I react like a slug sprinkled with salt. Honestly, one mean (meaning the reviewer didn’t love it) review can overtake reading fifteen filled with accolades.
Upon reflection of said mean reviews I do not cull the wisdom therein. I think of what my next career will be. Certainly, it will be a hermetic vocation that won’t even make the pages of Yelp.
I know I’m not alone. For every moment of awe a writer has at seeing her book on a shelf, at being told by readers you provided them with comfort, for each time you visit a warm and loving book club, there come the time when you read the word “blech” in a reader’s review. It’s part of the business, and there’s no answer except chocolate and wine. It hurts. Writers ranging from NYT bestsellers to just-on-the-shelves authors must find ways to soothe themselves through the pain. (Avoid doing anything publicly—nothing good that way ever comes. Especially avoid using stalking and physical methodology.)
So, what can you do? I come bearing brownies and a shot of tequila. The comfort needed for times when nothing but schadenfreude will do. I would offer mead to Shakespeare, had he lived in the time of Amazon and read this review of “Romeo and Juliet”:
“As far as I’m concerned, the only good thing about “Romeo and Juliet” is that it spawned the plot for “West Side Story,” which, although laden with cheese, does highlight some of the more noble facets of the human character (along the less noble) and features some wonderful music. “Romeo and Juliet” will, however, simply annoy anyone with half a brain.”
A newly published author-friend privately spilled her horror (to a group of not-surprised writers) when, after a spate of reader-love, she found this on a popular book site:
“To those who loved this book, may we never meet on subway, train, or plane.”
Shock usually follows the first angry reader review. I don’t think they’re as hurtful as critical professional reviews, but they go where NYT reviewers would never tread.
The not-surprised writers, as always, gathered around the newly launched author referenced above, and shared their own hurtful reader reviews:
“Someone once hated one of my books so much that she made a custom e-stamp that said, “This book is so bad it should be banned from the face of the earth.”
“There is just no level on which this book was not bad. Bad, bad writing.”
One writer had her book put on a reviewer’s “crap-i-couldn’t-finish shelf.”
Another was told:
“This author had no right to write this book because she doesn’t really know what it’s like to be divorced. I went to school with her and I know for a fact she’s never been divorced.”
One friend’s book was compared to a Tampon ad.
Or was it a Tampon?
Each time I spin into a decline induced by a reader hating my book, I look up a classic, a best seller, a book I loved, and read Amazon reviews such as those below (sic included.) And then I wonder, would these classic writers have reached for the Ben & Jerry’s, were it then available?
Wuthering Heights
“I began reading–“though you mayn’t believe it,” to quote Lewis Carroll’s Mock Turtle–at the age of 1 and 9 months. Since then I have read literally thousands of books. And of them all, “Wuthering Heights” is my least favorite. The characters are so unpleasant and cruel to each other that reading the book is a seemingly endless nightmare.”
1984
“Only read this if you like getting depressed. This is a good example of the fact that pessimistic and shocking books often receive rave criticism while dynamically optimistic books are dubbed “unrealistic”… NO further comment.”
The Woman’s Room
“The worst book ever written. The most insulting and boring book ever written. It is a biting social commentary on men-women relations that is so one-sided and vulgar that most readers do not take seriously. Don’t ask me how it ended because I couldn’t stand the torture of the book.”
Anne of Green Gables
“Here is what most people and fans don’t know about the author:
Lucy Maud Montgomery was into the occult and worshipped nature. She taught girls how to make a “table rap” or to call up an evil spirit, and she introduced the Ouija board to the young fry of Cavendish. I believe that her books are “blessed” by an evil force, which is part of the reason that they (her books) have millions of fans. Lucy Maud’s ungodly beliefs appear often in her writings.
God opened my eyes to the bad influence of Anne Shirley and her author, and also to all the wrongs in L. M. Montgomery’s books.”
Goodnight Moon
“We were given this books as a gift. I really dislike it–there seems to be an upleasant undertone: “bowl full of mush”, “goodnight nobody”. I find the illustrations equally unpleasant (or maybe that’s why I find the book unpleasant). I recycled it.”
Tale of Two Cities
“I feel this could have been a better book had he not been paid for its length. It takes him too long to say simple things. If you hated Old Man and the Sea, you too will hate this.”
Bangers and mash, Mr. Dickens?
Pint of ale?
Pull up a chair, and share your thoughts on (and/or personal experience with) negative reviews. The floor is yours.
Randy Susan Meyers, author of six novels, including The Many Mothers of Ivy Puddingstone, has been featured in People, The New York Times, The LA Times, Washington Post, and more. Her books, translated into over thirty languages, earned an Indie Next Pick and were highlighted by Kirkus as among the ‘10 Best Books of the Year.’ The Massachusetts Council of the Book selected three of her novels as ‘Must Reads.’ Her books have been translated into over thirty languages.
Drawing from her experience with troubled youth, criminal justice, and bartending in Boston, Meyers writes about domestic drama, societal issues, and cultural nuances. A Brooklyn-Boston hybrid, she treasures family, friends, books, and NY bagels.
Ah, yes, what interesting times we live in. The internet has brought about some amazing things…and some not-so-amazing things. Us authors must grow thick skin, I’m afraid.
Great post to remind us we are not alone.
Yours, Dee
Award-winning author of A Keeper’s Truth
It’s takes a village of hand-holding! We’re all in this together.
To soothe my complaints about a review, my editor shared that a book she wrote about roller-shaking was reviewed as “rinky-dink.”
I spent 37 years as a Methodist preacher and sermon comments can be just as cruel. “I wish I could hear a sermon that actually fed me.” Maybe these people in their criticisms for my preaching have prepared me for when I finish my first book.
I imagine that the Dickens criticism of too long is what you hear most.
This is such a timely article for me on a personal level. I, too, have recently added a polarized book to my list of published novels. The book discusses body issues and female empowerment. It is a book close to my heart that took years of research. And even though my reviews are nearly all positive, there have been two who trashed it. One person gave me a one-star in a public forum but did not leave an actual review. And then she went on to leave a one-star on one of my other novels, an award-winner. As it turns out, this person met me IN PERSON at a book club. She is a friend of a friend. I won’t get into why I think she left this one-star, as those reasons are only in my head. But in some ways, it hurts more to know she perhaps did not like me as a person, and the writing was secondary. Did I cry? Yes, a little. Did I get over it? Heck yeah. Life is short.
Look. If I were to give a writer one lonely star, I would be emotionally charged to write a review. Conversely, if I don’t like a book, I don’t finish it. And if I don’t finish it, I don’t waste my time reviewing it. Who has the time to review a book they hated? And who would make it through to the end of a book they hated?
And I do exactly what you do (and advise my newer writer friends to do the same): I remind myself that some of the best writers in literary history have received bad reviews. And then I go through all my 5-star reviews and remind myself that those 5 stars make up the majority.
Two additional pieces of advice: If you do choose to read reviews, never, ever read new ones right before bed. Read them at a time of day when you can think clearly. And never, ever respond to a negative review, anywhere, at any time. Some people are pushing buttons in response to their own insecurities, and others are unbalanced. Tread wisely. And keep writing. ; )
And in addition, people can be mean.
I read THE COMFORT OF LIES, one of your novels, Randy Susan, and I loved it. Write on!
My favorite dyspeptic reviewer gave a one-word title to her Amazon review:
“Lame”
and followed that with this:
“I kept waiting for something meaningful to happen in this book but nothing ever did. I would not recommend it to anyone except those who enjoy Xrated language.”
I did enjoy the succinct swath of her one-word overview, though I must say it made it clear in the blurb there was some naughty stuff in the book. The x-rated language was in there, but it was a sprinkling, nothing you’d have to wear boots to trudge through.
I do hope she’s not still waiting for something meaningful to happen.
But, Randy, these are wise words of yours, “It’s part of the business, and there’s no answer except chocolate and wine.” So even though the review was from years ago, I still liberally apply chocolate and wine, though there are no visible scars. Thanks for the well-reasoned post.
I got a review on my first novel which said that the blurb had clearly been written by someone who hadn’t read the book, “lucky them”.
This seemed to be largely based on one phrase not being fulfilled in the book the way they thought it would – and of course the reviewer’s utter dislike of the book generally. I learned to laugh it off. Eventually.
Happily I haven’t had any nasty reviews from people whose opinions I respect – yet.
I usually give 4 stars to books that I like, and most of my reviews are given 4 stars. I save the five stars for books that are exceptional. I give three stars to books that I didn’t enjoy reading. I have never given one or two star reviews because I don’t have time for them.
I also very rarely write reviews of books I cannot give at least three stars to. However, for those few that I did, I tried my best to be as constructive as possible, and make allowances for readers who may disagree with my opinion. As an example of that last bit, one book I read recently had some kind of ghost. That’s okay (not my favorite, but still), but I found it strange that the passages about that ghost were written in third person. You would think that a ghost would talk to the audience in their own voice. I noted that this bothered me enough for me to mark the book down, but I was sure that this might not bother other readers. This is a way to stress the OPINION part of a review that allows for others to disagree.
Reviews are sometimes like grades. Readers like to think a 4.0 comes across as a slam dunk but not always. Some excellencies creep up on a reader. And later they are still wondering what happened. Not plot events, but impact on them. I graded college essays for a lot of years, not that Books And midnight essays are a direct match. However, grades and praise reviews are awarded for strengths. So many people forget that.
Randy, this was a brilliant and hilarious piece! Thank you for making me laugh out loud during a break in writing :) I love that you posted bad reviews of absolutely perfect books – my favorite is Old Man in the Sea (the most perfect inner dialog), and Wuthering Heights (which resembles my own debut novel, The Sleeping Serpent about an angry abandoned narcissist) so I have a soft spot for it in my heart. We all have rolled our eyes at some of the negative reviews we’ve received. I have been frustrated when readers complain about the obvious; as in when the blurb describes the antagonist as a narcissist, and the review says he was abusive so I didn’t like him and couldn’t understand why women loved him.” That’s precisely the point. And, when the tag line says, he is a yoga guru, and the reviewer says “I don’t know anything about yoga, so I didn’t like that it talked about yoga.” But I’m always glad if along with the critical, they at least say “the writing was beautiful” I love the creative process of writing and I really don’t like marketing my work. I have been thinking of just not publishing, but to just keep on writing. Let them come after I’m dead and publish if they want. It’s the journey for me to make the art, not sell it. So it might just be healthier to never read a review because in essence reading reviews is looking for approval, and validation. You proved how ridiculous some reviews are with the review examples you shared with us – particularly Good Night Moon! sorry for rambling and not even proof reading – back to writing now. Thanks again for this great piece!
I once had a Manager who gave yearly employee reviews as though they were movie reviews and he was Roger Ebert.
He compared me to the Dustin Hoffman – Warren Beatty flop Ishtar. He stated my performance “left him cold”, “not wanting more” and that in the great Cinema of Business” I would “end up on the cutting room floor”.
I had put my heart and soul in that job and he stole my ideas. The ones that got him promoted.
Along comes the new manager and he loves me. Did everything he could to mentor me and get me promoted, but I have never quite been able to get that review out of my head.
I loved this piece and can’t wait to read your books.
I have started reviewing books this year and I can tell you, I am honest, but not cruel..there is never a reason to be cruel.
Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one. The problem is, as authors, we go looking for them and then get upset when one of them stinks. At the end of the day, I write because I have stories to tell. If people get what I did, great. If they don’t, who gives a monkeys? Write because you enjoy it. We need to stop rummaging through reviews, lest we end up with pink eye.
Multi-award-winning Author, Gareth Worthington
Strangest negative review experience I had was this:
-Reader posts a 4-star review on Goodreads that includes a 100+ song playlist they made inspired by the book.
-A month later they downgrade their review to 1 star, add “THIS BOOK IS AWFUL!!!!” (all caps and multiple exclamation points) to the top of the review — but leave the 100 song playlist intact.
It still perplexes me to this day how someone can retroactively change their mind so drastically and so quickly. Removing/adding one star after mulling things over I’d understand, but 3?
I shrugged it off and find it more amusing than upsetting, but I’m still super curious around why it happened.