“That’s Delicious”, and Other Advice From My Grandmother
By Catherine McKenzie | February 7, 2019 |
Flickr Creative Commons: Gerry Brush
My Grandmother, Dorothy, turned 103 last week. No, that’s not a typo. She was born in 1916 in Lethbridge, Alberta. She grew up in a middle-class family with one brother. She graduated high school and worked at Sears. My grandfather asked her to a dance when she was sixteen and he was fourteen (cheeky bugger!) and she said yes. They married after seven years of dating on November 11, 1940. He died four years ago, at the age of 97, in the year when they would have celebrated their 75th wedding anniversary. They were together for more than 80 years. Everyone, including my doctor, told me that she would likely be dead in six months, their lives so intertwined that she literally could not go on with out him. And yet… here she still is.
I often get asked what the secret to her success is. My cheeky answer? Cocktails. But there’s some truth to that. I went to see her in October. It might be morbid, but at that age, it feels like every visit that I have with her will be the last. She keeps mostly to her bed, sleeping a lot, but when she’s awake, she enjoys watching the golf on TV (or any sports really) and she is always awake for her 4 PM cocktail. We chatted for a bit and she asked me about my life. She talked about how lucky she was to be able to be in her own house (with help) and to have people come visit her. Right on schedule at 4, her helper brought her her rum and ginger ale (it used to be coke, not sure how the change happened). She lifted her glass, took a sip, and said “That’s delicious!”
And there it was folks, the epiphany. The secret to how she’s lived this long, the reason she’s outlasted my grandfather etc: she is still able to find joy in simple things, including a drink she’s had every day for most of her adult life.
Imagine if we all approached life this way? Imagine if I approached my writing this way? Not as a chore, or a thing that had to be accomplished, but as a thing to be enjoyed, to be savored, to be delicious?
I am by nature a bit cynical as a person. These times do not help. But I am also a lucky individual. I’ve published a lot. I have another career that I enjoy. I have fans. I mean fans! That’s so amazing when I really think about it. People who eagerly await my next book, like I have done for so many other authors. I know I don’t appreciate it enough. I don’t slow down and take stock of where I’ve come. I don’t pat myself on the back just for even writing a whole novel in the first place. But I should! We all should. We should all celebrate the deliciousness of life, whatever that might be for us because we are lucky. Whether published or not. Whether struggling or not. Whether we feel it enough.
We can look for the delicious moment in each day and savor it.
Who’s with me?
[coffee]
A graduate of McGill University in History and Law, Catherine McKenzie practices law in Montreal, where she was born and raised. An avid skier and runner, Catherine is the author of 11 bestselling novels, including HIDDEN, THE GOOD LIAR, I’LL NEVER TELL and YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. Her most recent novel, SIX WEEKS TO LIVE, releases in Canada April 20 and the US May 4, 2021.
I love this, Catherine! Thanks for the reminder to “celebrate the deliciousness of life” and thanks to Dorothy for the inspiration.
Cheers, Catherine! May we all appreciate the deliciousness found in every moment.
That being said, I’m counting the minutes until 4:00.
Thanks for this. All best to Grams.
Yes! I agree with your beautiful grandmother!!! Life is beautiful!!!
I’m savoring your post! Your grandmother is inspiring, and you can count me as one of your fans! Thanks, Catherine, for the reminder to take delight in the ordinary.
Characters should enjoy the simple things too.
My WIP MC survives nearly starving and freezing to death, living alone on a mountain for two winters. For her, hot showers, a pantry stocked with food, and good company are treasured joys, as they are for me.
Billions of people never experience hot showers and abundant food. Remember that when you think times are bad.
Hear! Hear! Not only live in the moment, celebrate the moment.
As one of your fans, Catherine, I thank you for your inspiration this morning. Yes, writing is a privilege – so many people would love to do what we do (even though I suspect they have no idea how hard it is!) and I’m for anything that ends in the reward of a cocktail.
I LOVE this! My husband and I also end the day (at 6 pm not 4pm) with a rum cocktail! And I sure hope we are doing that well into our 90’s, together. I had a very long career in fashion and I wrote my first novel when I semi-retired in 2013 (published in 2015). I loved every second of the writing and editing! Now I am just finishing the first draft of the next one. I love the writing and the editing – but not the marketing which gives me anxiety. I am just not interested in accolades or validation at this stage of my life. And in studying Buddhism I have come to realize it should always be that way, at any age. When I ponder the whole thing, i would be just as happy finishing a book and just putting into a drawer. I wonder if anyone else here feels as I do…
With you!
The tortured author trope is gargantuanly overblown in my opinion.
The “nothing is harder than writing“ or “open a vein and bleed“ when facing the empty page hyperbole makes me shake my head. Those of us that have the opportunity to write are among the most fortunate on the planet.
My mother is 94 and has an overwhelmingly positive attitude on life. Not everything in her world is good but you would never know it when interacting with her.
Perhaps her positive attitude has contributed to her longevity-I suspect so-but certainly it has made her life and the lives of those around her happier and better.
Love the upbeat post!
PS – excellent title, cover and intro to “The Good Liar” earned the book a spot on my to-be-read short-list.
Catherine, here I thought the 5pm cocktail was the civilized gesture; at your grandmother’s behest, I will set back the clocks. At 97, my near-blind, near-deaf and not-near many of her original teeth mother remains the most upbeat, positive person in my family.
Her cocktail days are behind her (though she did let me sip from her martini when I was 8 or so), but she would toast your grandmother to the high heavens.
Your post and its wise advice: that’s delicious!
I believe you have a choice–look at life positively or negatively. Once you make that choice everything will be coloured by it.
Lifting a glass to celebrate with you and your grandma.
What if we approached life this way? What if we approached story in this way!
What I mean is, I love characters who savor their experience. I strive for that in my stories. It’s what makes immersive POV not only immersive but wonderful to read.
Plus, I love a good cocktail. Great post.
Thank you for your succinct summary of a truth I’ve been recently discovering and practicing! But I have never thought to use the word “delicious” about my writing or my creative process. Now I do! Lovely.
Great post, Catherine. We live in a constant current of negativity these days, whether from our neighbors, the media, society in general. We seem intent on finding something or someone to criticize or complain about. Last year my mother suffered a stoke. It reminded me of the things I take for granted, like good health, a working body and the ability to more or less direct my own life. It also opened my eyes to the remarkably kind and generous friends and neighbors who I didn’t even know I had — or worse, had been critical of. Sometimes we seem on guard against looking for goodness, maybe because it means confronting some comforting prejudices and beliefs.
I’m so glad I read this post!
Coincidentally, minutes before reading it, I was listening to a song by Randy Stonehill which goes, “I’m gonna celebrate this heartbeat, ’cause it just might be my last.”
What a beautiful post, and so true! It’s so easy to forget about celebrating the little things because we’re too busy looking at the bigger picture. I know I’m certainly often guilty of that. Thanks for the inspiration and all the best to your grandmother, she sounds like an amazing person!