30 Things I’ve Learned About the Writing Life
By Barbara O'Neal | November 27, 2018 |
On Thanksgiving, I celebrated 30 years since the sale of my first book. It’s a crazy milestone and made me consider this writing and publishing life with a sense of bemusement. To celebrate, I have collected 30 things I’ve learned in those three decades.
1. Persistence is more important than talent.
2. Be nice to everyone. It’s a very small world. The meek editorial assistant of today will one day be running the prestigious imprint you most want to break into.
3. No one actually knows what talent means.
4. Don’t compare yourself to others.
4. Don’t buy into your own press. There’s nothing more obnoxious than a writer who swans around in a perfume of her own self-importance.
5. Learning never stops—which is one of the best things about the writing game. No one can possibly understand all of it.
6. A great agent will be your best ally—and the relationship can last as long as a marriage. I’ve been with my agent Meg Ruley for 20 years.
7. A bad agent is worse than no agent at all—by far.
8. ALL writers need good editors. I plan to write an entire blog on this very subject in the near future—editors are enormously important to creating your best work, and creating those relationships can make you a much better writer. No book should enter the world without editorial eyes. Period.
9. Some books will do better than others for absolutely no reason you can fathom.
10. Some books will flop. Also for no particular reason.
11. If you’re lucky, some books will soar. This almost certainly will happen if you keep writing and keep improving. That persistence thing again.
12. Understanding who your own particular readers are is powerful in today’s marketing landscape. If you don’t know, you can’t target and if you can’t target, you’re going to waste time, effort, and money.
13. Learn to save your money. The fact is, your income will go up and down. Some seasons will bring monsoons of cash, while others will be as dry as a California drought.
14. Meet your deadlines. Sometimes a gigantic crisis will mean you simply cannot, but otherwise—just do it.
15. The above will be easier if you are realistic about what you can reasonably produce in a given period. If you don’t know, spend some time observing your habits and extrapolate. It’s better to underestimate than to overestimate.
16. Conduct yourself professionally. All the time. Online, at conferences, at meetings. If you don’t know what that means in this world, ask someone you trust.
17. Be yourself. You don’t have to pretend to be sophisticate from the Northeastern corridor if you’re a country boy from Kansas.
18. Every book deserves the best you’ve got.
19. Every book is part of your backlist, your body of work. You want to be proud of it.
20. Let your work grow over time. As you grow and change, so will your work.
21. Not everyone will love your work. Or you.
22. A bad review is just one reader’s opinion.
23. A great review is from YOUR reader.
24. Your circle of friends is one of the most important things you have. Nourish it.
25. Your writing is not the only thing in your life that matters. Make sure you take care of the other parts—health, family, time for other pursuits.
26. Give back as you are able. Judge contests, teach, offer to help with local writing organizations or chapters.
27. The outside world is never really going to understand what you do.
28. An earnest reader letter is one of best things you can get.
29. Trust yourself. Trust your vision.
30. It really is a dream life. The only one I wanted—and even better than I could ever have imagined.
What have I missed? What nuggets have you picked up on your journey?
[coffee]
Barbara O’Neal is the author of more than a dozen award-winning, bestselling novels, including the runaway bestseller, When We Believed in Mermaids, which has been published in more than 20 countries and spent many months on the Amazon Charts, as well as the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and Washington Post bestseller lists. Barbara lives on the beach in rugged Oregon with her husband, a British endurance athlete who vows he’ll never lose his accent and their zoo of cats and dogs. You can find more information on her newsletter and where to find her on social media at barbaraoneal.com.
Good stuff!
Hi Barbara, Thanks for the lovely post, and congratulations for celebrating 30 years in publishing, That is quite the achievement. The one thing I’d like to add is if someone approaches you for an interview, treat it the same way you would any other piece of work. Bring your best, and consider it a gift. Free publicity is only as good as the content.
Good one, Anne. The art of engaging in an interview is a topic itself.
I love this so much.
Thank you for sharing and giving back to the writer community.
Nothing to add but a HUGE congratulations on having this marvelous writing life for 30 yrs!!! I wish you 30 more!!! The best part is that we’re always growing, always learning.
Thank you!
Great stuff, Barbara. Need to reread and remind myself constantly. I had to chuckle at 16 and 17. “Act professionally and Be Yourself. For me, anyway, I feel they may be mutually exclusive. :-)
Haha. I think a lot of us feel that way. Walking that thin, little line….:)
Hi, Barbara:
You reminded me, perhaps a few days behind schedule, how thankful I am for your posts.
I was looking up Noel Coward quotes last week, and your advice on several points resonated with this:
“Work hard, do the best you can, don’t ever lose faith in yourself and take no notice of what other people say about you.”
–Noel Coward
And this, from John Buchan:
“It’s a great life if you don’t weaken.”
Onward, into the breach.
Great quotes, David. I especially love “It’s a great life if you don’t weaken.” If I did needle arts, I’d embroider it to display.
#30 made me all dewy-eyed. Makes me want to “Be like Barbara.” Lovely list. Thanks for inspiration.
Thank you for this, especially #21! Perfect timing!
Also congratulations on your 30 year anniversary!
Congratulations on 30 years!!! I wholeheartedly endorse nourishing the friendships we build in this business. I met some of my closest friends once I started writing “for real”; women (and a few men) who understand my language, my moods, my triumphs and tragedies like non-writers just can’t. We’re all in this together and it’s not a competition. The wisdom available from long-established writers, like you, is priceless.
Thank you and congratulations, Barbara! Your list is like an early Christmas present. Everything resonated.
Barbara, thank you for the post — best list I’ve ever read on writing. It’s especially inspirational to me because I know you’ve put in the hours it takes to be successful — that persistence thing again. I’m going to copy and paste the list and keep it on my desktop. And congratulations on 30 years of writing and publishing.
#2! Yes! I’ve been in the publishing business for almost seventeen years, and I have seen this play out. And when we have an author who is difficult AND is a jerk about it, we do not work with that person again. If you’re going to be difficult, you had better be really charming and send big gift baskets at Christmastime! :)
I’ve been thinking about some of the same things, but not nearly so eloquently. I do know, and sometimes even remember to practice it, that persevering through 9 and 10 with determination, patience and grace make the 11s all the more precious. Not always easy to practice. Thanks for the reminder.
Such a great post with so much insight. Thanks.
So much truth here, Barbara. Not sure if this is a learning or an observation: Writing is a metaphor for life. Hard times, lonely days, tough spots, heartbreak…then sunshine, serendipity, a way through the roadblocks, good news, even bliss.
To be so keenly aware of all this after 30 years tells me a lot about you as a writer — and a person. Thank you.
Wonderful post! I feel like I could home in on one item on your list every day in order to stay centered and moving forward — a true gift. Have I told you lately how glad I am that you’re a part of WU? Thank you, Barbara.
Great list, Barbara. Number 20 is my favorite. I’d like to add one more to it. “Turn off the negative chatterbox inside your head, or better yet, tell it to go to hell.”
Thank you for the reminder to be persistent. Happy New Year! And congrats on your long career.