Bucket List for Writers
By Keith Cronin | October 9, 2018 |
Um, I don’t think this is the kind of bucket they’re talking about…
I believe it’s healthy to have goals. After all, having something to aim for can give us a sense of purpose, and can help us keep our efforts focused. We often hear of “the writer’s journey,” and I think it’s an apt metaphor, because this can turn into a VERY long trip. For those who manage to stay on the path, there are many milestones along the way – along with many hurdles.
While a writer might start out with a single goal (e.g., write the damn book), if that writer is serious about getting published, she might soon find herself adding multiple items to her to-do list. Armed with this list, off she goes on her journey!
And then, reality sets in.
For most – if not all – of us, it soon becomes apparent that this whole writing-and-publishing-a-book thing can take a while. Sometimes quite a while. Given how long it can take to get a writing career off the ground, a writer’s to-do list can start to resemble another list that has become popular in recent years: the “bucket list.”
Note: For those not familiar with the idiom, this is a list of things you want to accomplish before you kick the bucket. (And for those of you not familiar with what “kick the bucket” means, it’s a reference to an ancient – and anatomically challenging – romantic ritual involving a large bucket, three pairs of oversized steel-toed boots, 12 gallons of tapioca pudding, and 23 well-trained riverdancers, preferably double-jointed. Honest.)
For today’s post, I’ve attempted to assemble a typical bucket list for an aspiring writer, based on a combination of my own initial plans, accomplishments to date, and ongoing goals. As my journey has progressed, the items on this list have tended to shift and evolve – if you ask me next week, my list might look quite different. But for today at least, here’s my first stab at a bucket list for writers:
1. Finishing your manuscript
This is huge. Seriously, this could be the only item on your list, and it would still be a MAJOR accomplishment. By completing a manuscript, you’ve done something 99.999999% of the population hasn’t done.
Even more impressive, you’ve done something that probably 98% of the people who ever said “I should write a book” have never gotten around to actually doing. So if you have done it, you should congratulate yourself on a significant accomplishment, and celebrate it in whatever way you see fit. (Caveat: you might want to avoid celebratory activities that require a large bucket, three pairs of oversized steel-toed boots, 12 gallons of tapioca pudding, and 23 well-trained riverdancers – even if they’re double-jointed. I’m just looking out for your safety here.)
2. Signing with an agent
Okay, if you’re self-publishing, this won’t be on your list. But since I started my journey back when stone tablets were still more common than e-books, this represented a well-established rite of passage that I was eager and determined to complete. I will say, the process definitely helped thicken my skin (not that I wasn’t already pretty thick), by getting me accustomed – and hardened – to the inevitable and repeated rejections that every author eventually will encounter.
As a big upside to what can be a grueling and traumatic ordeal, it really is incredibly validating to have a recognized industry professional tell you that you’ve written something they believe they can sell. Starved for such validation, we writers often interpret an agent’s interest something like this:
3. Selling your book
This is when stuff really starts to get real. (Two variations of real in one sentence, Keith? Perhaps it’s time to invest in that thesaurus you’re always talking about purchasing. But I digress…) Why is this such a big deal? Because once somebody offers you actual money for your writing, you can finally tell your family that yes, you ARE a professional writer, thank you very much.
Do not underestimate the importance of this milestone, even if it’s more psychologically than economically life-changing (to set your expectations: with shrinking advances being the norm, a book deal lucrative enough to allow you to quit your day job has become increasingly elusive). But even if it’s not a high-dollar deal, this is still big news.
4. Getting a blurb from a famous author
We’ve all seen them: those gushing blurbs from uber-successful authors, promising that the latest book from some lesser-known writer is the greatest thing since sliced bread. It must be an incredible thrill to receive such effusive praise – surely these giants of the literary pantheon wouldn’t endorse just anybody, would they?
Over my years in the business, I’ve become aware that sometimes there might be a wee bit of editing here and there – but just to keep the blurb concise, of course. But that’s okay, because it’s just EDITING, right? That’s something all professional authors do, right?
My point is that you can take something like this…
…put on your editing shoes (or hat, or whatever the hell one puts on to edit) and pull out your red pen…
…and with a little craft, you could end up with something like this:
Note: I’m not saying that’s what happens. I’m just saying that’s what could happen.
5. Holding the book in your hands for the first time
This is another “Go ahead, you earned this” moment. Savor it. Whether you’re publishing conventionally or on your own, there really is nothing like holding the finished product in your hands and being able to say, “I wrote this.” Even if you’re only saying it to yourself.
6. Getting your first “industry” review
Here’s another big rite of passage – and it can be a bumpy ride. While Amazon reviews are a whole ‘nother animal to contend with, a serious test of both your nerves and the thickness of your skin occurs when your work is submitted to people who criticize stuff for a living. This could be a newspaper, magazine, or one of the industry’s influential literary criticism vehicles such as Library Journal, Publishers Weekly, Booklist, or Kirkus Reviews, all of which were crushing artistic souls LONG before shows like American Idol or The Voice became popular.
Some of these reviewers (I’m looking at you, Kirkus) are historically pretty tough, and tend to be rather… sparing with their praise.
Believe it or not, this experience usually ends up being good for you, even if it seems awful at the time (it’s rather like kale in that respect). After all, getting crucified by Kirkus and the like is a time-honored tradition that some of the most famous authors on Earth have endured, so if your book gets raked over the coals, fear not: you’re in good company. And if you’re creative, you can usually carve out a quote you can use from even the most excoriating review, much like the author blurb in item #4.
7. Speaking at a literary event
I have to admit, this is one of my absolute favorite bucket-list activities. And even though I can technically cross this off my list, it’s something I want to keep doing again and again, whether it’s a big event or something more… intimate.
There’s just something so powerful about connecting with people face-to-face to talk about the shared passions that make you kindred spirits: stories and writing. Seriously, I love everything about these events:
- I love getting to know other authors and aspiring writers, and having mind-expanding discussions with them.
- I love getting to know the publishing professionals who have such a powerful influence on the industry – and on writers’ careers. And a major benefit is how this can result in collegial relationships, actual friendships, or simply the filed-away knowledge of whom to avoid.
- I love talking with non-writers and witnessing firsthand their amazing passion about the stories they read. Note: this can be another situation where a thick skin is helpful, particularly for an author fortunate (and brave) enough to participate in a book club meeting about her own book. This is not for the faint of heart, but it’s an experience I wouldn’t trade for the world.
8. Seeing your book on the shelf
This is another feel-good moment. Going to a library or bookstore and seeing your own book next to other books by real live authors (and okay, maybe some real dead authors, too) is another big milestone in terms of making it all seem real.
It can also be interesting to see whose books appear on the same shelf – or nearby shelves. For example, I love seeing my book on the same shelf as Jennifer Crusie – a wonderful author and all-around cool person. And lo and behold, I sometimes find myself within spitting distance of my arch-nemesis!
9. Selling the film rights to your book
Admit it: most of us have dreamed at some point about having one (or more) of our books made into a movie. And while the massive differences we often see between movies and the books they are based on make me worry about the loss of artistic control I could experience, it’s a risk I’m willing to take. (Hollywood, are you listening?)
Taking this dream a step further, I’ve got to believe I’m not the only writer who has spent some time fantasizing about who would play the roles of the main characters in my book. For example, for my autobiographical epic, I’m figuring I’ll need a cross between Vin Diesel and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man to play my part.
Yeah, good luck getting that image out of your head.
10. Vanquishing the competition
I know, I know – the polite thing to say and think is that there’s room for everybody in this business, and that we’re not really competing against each other. And that’s probably all true… in theory.
But would it be SO bad if maybe your book sold just a little better than that other author’s book? You know the one I’m talking about. And following that logic, would it be SO bad if maybe your book sold a LOT better than that other author’s book? I mean, it’s not like you actually want anything bad to happen to that other author, right? Right?
Okay, maybe that’s not the most noble of sentiments to share. But I’m being honest here. And hey – somebody’s gotta have the biggest-selling books. So what’s the harm if at some point that somebody just happens to be YOU? I’m just sayin’.
Oh, but here’s the thing…
I’m well aware that I am VERY fortunate to have already crossed a fair number of these items off my bucket list. But even if I eventually cross them all off, I have learned one thing:
You’re never done.
Whether you’re a seasoned best-seller or a first-time author, once you publish a book, you can count on only one thing: somebody is inevitably going to ask you, “So, when’s your next book coming out?”
And that brings you back to…
So, what’s on YOUR bucket list?
How about you? I’ve already pointed out that this bucket list focuses primarily on conventional publishing, but there’s no reason why authors pursuing a different path couldn’t come up with their own lists. So regardless of which direction(s) your journey may be taking you, what’s on your writer’s bucket list? Please chime in, and as always, thanks for reading!
Special thanks to these graphical tools and resources:
- Giphy
- Break your own news
- Image Chef newspaper headline generator
- Roosevelt Middle School Sign generator
- Fodey movie clapper generator
- Fodey newspaper generator
- All stock art licensed from 123RF
[coffee]
Author of the novels Me Again (originally published by Five Star/Gale), and Tony Partly Cloudy (published under his pen name Nick Rollins), Keith Cronin (he/him) is a corporate speechwriter and professional rock drummer who has performed and recorded with artists including Bruce Springsteen, Clarence Clemons, and Pat Travers. Keith’s fiction has appeared in Carve Magazine, Amarillo Bay, The Scruffy Dog Review, Zinos, and a University of Phoenix management course. A native of South Florida, Keith spends his free time serenading local ducks and alligators with his ukulele.
Keith, I loved your list and your editing for the blurb made me laugh so hard I snorted me tea. Apparently even tea cups can be dangerous.
You’re right that you’re never done. That’s what I love about being a writer–I’m always growing, finding new stories to tell.
I have one more item to add to the bucket list: win a major literary award like the Newbery or Pulitzer.
Ooh, that’s a great item, Vijaya!
I’ll go you one better: let’s dream of one day having a literary award named after YOU!
Ooooh!!!
Keith, I enjoyed your Bucket List article. A fun read while I took a procrastination break from the morning writing. As I work on my 7th book I have the telephone propped right beside my laptop so I don’t miss the call from Hollywood begging for the movie rights to one of my books. The silence of the ring tone is deafening.
Cheers
Thanks, Wade!
Oh, and you might want to check the ringer on your phone. I’m pretty sure the one on mine is broken, although the repair guy keeps telling me it isn’t. What does he know, anyway?
Thanks for the awesome laugh! I totally appreciate the light-hearted perspective on a typically stress-provoking topic. :D
Writing can be stressful? That’s just crazy talk, Lara!
Then again, I *did* have hair back when I started this quest. Hmmmmm…
OMG I love you Keith. So much truth here, so many laugh-out-loud moments…off to tweet! I want to help fulfill your dream of having millions of readers (what? you didn’t mean for your free blog post?).
Right now I’m like the dizzy girl standing outside the double dutch jumprope twirlers, trying to get back in the game after only learning how to jump one rope at a time. So I guess my immediate bucket list is getting my new manuscript published. I suspect this will always be my bucket list…and the next book, and the next book…because it seems to me that the glory wave items on your list can only lift up a book that’s actually out there surfing.
Kathryn, this is off topic, but your image of the girl who can’t jump double dutch reminded me that I never did learn to jump even one rope. Nobody liked to be demoted to the end, merely turning the rope, so I was popular as a permanent end (oh, hey, maybe there’s a story there….I’ll work on it….).
I adored every form of jumprope but double dutch must not have been a thing in my neighborhood, lol. Sorry you missed out on the fun, Anna!
Awww – thanks, Kathryn! The love is mutual (as is the inability to jump multiple ropes – or even one rope, in my case).
Like you, my real-life bucket list could probably be pared down substantially, to something along the lines of write another damn book already!
Hey Keith – Masterful editing of the C.C. blurb, making the result well-deserved, lol.
I have a writerly bucket list much like this one, but in the interest of maintaining my sanity, I’ve stowed it in mothballs and concocted an alternative list. It has stuff like:
*Master the art of evasive conversation topic changes when folks who know I’ve been writing for more than a decade ask me how it’s going. (This gets particularly tricky when they presume I’m published by now, which happens surprisingly often. Not that I’ve ever purposely misled anyone, or that I want to leave a false impression, but since finding out otherwise tends to make them feel awkward and sad for me, it’s really become more about sparing their feelings to deftly shift away from the topic.)
*Finish rewriting my as-yet unrevised, amateurish manuscripts, bringing them up to my current skill level. (Which makes me wonder. If I think they’re full of cringe-worthy writing now, will the rewriting of current-me seem just as cringe-worthy to future-me, making it an endless cycle?)
*Get to the terrific ideas for the unstarted story I came up with about six years ago, that I was sure I’d have gotten to by now.
*Get all of the above done before my imminent decrepitude.
Thanks for starting today’s trudge toward my own bucket with a lot of laughs.
Vaughan, you crook, you stole my bucket.
Vaughn, you’re brilliant. The evasive conversation topic changer is a skill I definitely need to work on, particularly for probing questions like:
– So, how’s that book selling?
– Have you written anything *I* would like?
– Do you know Clive Cussler? I’ve always wanted to meet him!
Oh, and Imminent Decrepitude? I LOVE those guys! Their second album was sheer GENIUS!
Keith- I want you to vet all of my future reviews (once I cross that item off the bucket list) and edit them before I see them. There’s a future in it! Thanks for a very fun post, I needed the smiles.
Thanks, Jeanne – my magical red pen is ready when you are!
In my bucket currently is this: master immersive POV.
Hard one for me. Could take a while. Meaning, I will have to live longer. I’m okay with that.
Later, I’ll add this goal: be big enough to be asked to blurb Keith Cronin. Ah, there’s a dream.
I like the way you dream, Benjamin!
And while we’re looking at craft-oriented bucket items, I should add one to my own list: “Learn to describe stuff in a way that… um… describes the stuff better.”
Yeah, that definitely needs to go on the list.
I’m poised at the edge of query quicksand land, so in preparation, I’m reading blog posts and snacking. Your article lightened my mood!
Thank you for the laughs.
Ah, I’ve crawled through that quicksand more than once. Good luck, Sue – be patient and resilient!
Funny post. The next thing on my bucket list is… finish a manuscript that doesn’t happen to be fanfiction. I’ve got the outline done at least.
Brooke, I’m all about racking up the small wins, so I think you should check “outline done” off your mini-bucket list, in your quest to check off the bigger items on your main list.
I loved Me Again!!!! When the hell are you releasing the next?
I’ve been lucky enough to cross most of those off my list…but still, the list gets longer….
For anybody who doubted the veracity of my post, there it is:
“When the hell are you releasing the next?”
And you folks thought I was kidding!
PS – thanks, Laura!
This post is FANTASTIC. And I love your graphics. Smiling and laughing all the way through. (Especially at the blurb editing, since I’m a copywriter for a publisher and I have to find honest ways to shorten blurbs all the time!)
I too am lucky to have crossed some of these off. I’m headed for some others right around the corner when my debut is released in January.
One thing on my personal list is “Traveling to [fill in the blank with some awesome country] to do first-hand research.” That’s my white whale.
Thanks, Erin. Good luck with your whale!
Hmmmm – that sounds weirder than I’d intended…
I didn’t know it was legal to print the ellipses in quotes (Clive Cussler’s) in invisible ink, so thank you for that excellent example of how to turn a rotten apple into apple strudel! Apple Surprise?
I agree with Vijaya on getting a significant prize, but I think I’d better concentrate on, you know, finishing the second book in the PC trilogy. Moving has left me temporarily unable to focus, as I get interrupted by something crucial (did we get a parking space near the door?) about every ten minutes.
Your bucket list is adorable. Now go out there and finish it.
Alicia, invisible ink can solve a LOT of life’s problems. (Not necessarily in a legal way, but hey, let’s not get hung up on semantics!)
Haha! I very much enjoyed your post. My bucket must have a hole in it, because I’m back to “finish writing the damn book” for the fifth time.
Thanks, Ruth!
When you figure out how to patch your bucket, let me know. For now I’m resorting to duct tape, but it seems less than optimal.
It’s Thanksgiving up here in Canada. I give thanks this year for Keith Cronin and his uplifting, funny contributions to this site.
Awww – thank YOU, Christopher.
You just made my day, at a time when I could really use a made day. Or a day being made. Or whatever – you know what I mean!
Seriously, thank you.
Bucket list: master fifth-person omnivorous (nom nom nom).
More seriously, this year I’m going to do NaNoWriMo for the very first time, because it’s marathon-like, without any of the unpleasant running involved with an actual marathon.
Somewhat nerve-wrackingly, I have also signed up to be one of the subjects of a documentary about NaNoWriMo. Might as well dip that bucket in the deep end, right?
First step: archaeological dig to rediscover surface of desk. I have faith that it’s in there somewhere!