Writing Through Chaos
By Catherine McKenzie | October 4, 2018 |
I’m not the first writer to observe that these are chaotic times to write in. Sometimes the news is too dispiriting to ignore. Sometimes the news is too riveting to ignore. Sometimes the news is so absurd that it feels weird writing fiction. Sometimes there is just news.
Like many (but not all, I recognize) I was completely upended by the election results in 2016. I could not concentrate for several days and could barely get my day job done, let alone focus on my fiction. Luckily (or unluckily) I’d published Fractured in October, 2016 and had already moved on (mostly) from the promotion of that book. I’d also written a large chunk of my next novel (what became The Good Liar) and so could afford to take some time away. But as the days ground on and the news got worse and I consumed more and more of it, I began to worry. Was I ever going to be able to look away for long enough to write? And what was the point, anyway?
Then something good happened. My day job forced me to turn away from the news. I’m a trial lawyer, and I had a trial. Trials are arduous, but the great thing about them is that everything else falls away. There are only the facts and witnesses and arguments in front of you. It’s a weird kind of vacation from life.
When I emerged from the trial, the spell was broken. Oh, I could still easily spend hours reading the New York Times et al. and watching CNN. But when I had something to do, including writing, I was able to do it. I dipped my toes back into my novel, and by the end of the year I was able to block out the mad, mad world until I got my daily word count in. Not everyday, but most. And that feeling is something I turn to when, like these last few weeks, the events of right now block out everything that is in my head. I know that life will intervene and make me pay attention to it, and that in doing so, I’ll break the spell.
I also know that others have not been so lucky (okay, you’re also lucky you didn’t have to sit in a trial). I’ve spoken to a lot of writers who are finding it very hard to write in this political climate. It’s not just the news, but the message, the futility. In this time of national, and even global, ennui, what, precisely, is the point of fiction?
Some thoughts on that: People have different perspectives on this, but mostly, I write for myself. Yes, I love that people read my books and enjoy them. Of course I do. But fundamentally, if I didn’t enjoy the process, I wouldn’t do it. So that’s the feeling I reach for – that feeling I get when words are flowing onto the page and I can block out the world. That feeling isn’t something worth sacrificing for me personally, regardless of what’s going on in the world.
More fundamentally though, how do you reach for that feeling if you don’t have – say – the distraction of all-consuming trial?
Some tips:
- Make small goals. I can watch one hour of this hearing if I write 500 words first. Or 100. Or 50. Make small goals and gradually up them.
- Invest in some Internet blocking software. I’ve never used this, but there are several tools out there to help us keep off the Internet when we can’t help ourselves.
- Put yourself in an environment where you can’t watch etc. Libraries are great places for this – silence is key and there are no televisions. If you don’t login to the WiFi, you’re golden.
- Go back to old books. I have a few standards that I re-read when I’m too distracted to concentrate on something new, and found myself returning to them a lot in the last couple of years.
- Visit an old friend, another time, another place. It helps.
- Don’t look at writing as a choice – it’s your JOB, you still go to work if you have a day job, don’t you? Well, writing is work so…you know what’s coming…
WRITE ON.
A graduate of McGill University in History and Law, Catherine McKenzie practices law in Montreal, where she was born and raised. An avid skier and runner, Catherine is the author of 11 bestselling novels, including HIDDEN, THE GOOD LIAR, I’LL NEVER TELL and YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. Her most recent novel, SIX WEEKS TO LIVE, releases in Canada April 20 and the US May 4, 2021.
I needed to read this today, Catherine. The news and overall nastiness during the last few weeks has been soul-crushing, especially since I am a bit of an empath. All the rage and angst has made it impossible for me to even think about my upcoming WIP, much less put words on paper. I definitely need to find something to break the spell ASAP. Wish I could take another trip to your side of the border. I’d breathe easier there.
I am in awe of your productivity, especially since you also have a demanding day job.
Thanks so much, Kim! Good luck getting back to the work.
Agree with Kim. This week has been so dispiriting. Fifty one Senators who represent 18 percent of the US population might put on the Supreme Court a highly partisan judge who will be able to invalidatc laws passed by our elected officials for the next 30-40 years. We are experiencing the tyranny of the minority in the US. It is enough to make me want to immerse myself in my job and my writing.
Kim couldn’t have said it better, as I have the same feelings. The last few days and weeks have shattered me as a person and as a writer (mine is non-fiction — memoir, biography, cultural history, adventure travel). Catherine’s approach to the disruptive environment we live in is like a fresh breeze blowing through stagnant air. Encouraging. I already feel better about the writing project I am stuck on, unmoving. Today, it moves forward, after I turn off my Internet connection… For the moment, however, I’m glad I found you. Thanks for a good morning pick-up!
Thanks Don! Good luck.
Thanks for this piece–it’s been hard for so many of us to keep on, not just writing, but doing all the regular things in our lives. If writing weren’t my actual business, I’m not sure how I would have coped these last couple of years–not to mention the last few weeks! By the way, it’s true, the library is a great environment to focus and create and edit. Somehow, the whole world is there in some form, but the atmosphere makes it easier to block out the world as well.
Hi, Catherine:
As a victim of media-saturation-addiction, I would add to your excellent advice the recognition that getting sucked into the 24/7 cable news-Twitter vortex is an addiction, or at least has the hallmarks of one.
The constant need for the latest update on the slow-motion train wreck that is the present-day United States placates our anxiety. Staying tuned is a mask for dealing with our terror. (I know that sounds hyperbolic — bear with me.)
There is an excellent piece in The Atlantic today (I discovered it on Twitter!) about how cruelty binds Trump and his supporters just as it did lynch mobs. On the opposite end, Charlie Sykes of The Weekly Standard (ditto as to how I found it) writes about an equal and opposite trend emerging on the left, where facts are irrelevant, only emotion and outrage count.
It is that cauldron of rage that creates the suction down which our attention span vanishes. And that rage is a defense against our fear. Our fear that the arrogant bullies will win.
Those of us who had to fight their way home from school or fend off a handsy drunk or have suffered far worse — brutal beatings, sexual assault, viciousness of any kind — see in the current maelstrom an echo of that long-ago trauma. This has become particularly, vividly clear with the recent Kavanaugh situation. And we’re trying to deal with that resurrected fear by staying on top of things, getting the latest dope, picking at the scab.
And like any addiction, it can only be defeated by getting clean. I think moderation can be useful, but only if you address the root cause of the need for that constant, obsessive-compulsive need for news. Look into your soul and address the fear. Own it. Let it humble you, the better to inspire your strength.
I think then, and only then, can putting a time limit or telling yourself you can watch the news if you hit your word count or some of the other options can help. Otherwise, that wound will continue to bleed, and you’ll find yourself constantly trying to lick it clean.
BTW: Thanks for reminding me to update my credit card info on Freedom, my internet-blocking software. Yeah, I’m hardcore. I need a wall. (Oh, God, I can’t believe I’m ending with that…)
Happy for the reminder! And thanks for the comments!
Hello Catherine, and thanks for your post. If as a Canadian you find current events are making it tough for you as a writer, imagine what it’s like for your counterparts south of the border.
I wasn’t going to comment, but I decided to, because so many Writer Unboxed posts lately–and comments–seem to fit “the writer as victim” category. The idea that anyone who calls herself/himself a writer might need to “invest in internet blocking software, ” or keep vigilant watch against an impulse to watch “breaking news” on TV makes little sense to me. People are motivated to write, or they’re not. Writing in spite of external distractions is proof positive that someone actually is a writer, not someone who likes the idea of being one. Or so it seems to me. Thanks again for your post.
I’m a dual citizen so though I live in Canada, it does impact me as well. That being said, I think everyone is entitled to own whatever it is that makes writing difficult. It doesn’t make them a victim, it makes them honest about the barriers in their life. Writing is a uniquely challenging job in many ways as there are rarely deadlines that are no self-imposed. If this is not a challenge for you, great!
Catherine, all I can say, after these last few weeks especially, is thank you. It helps to know that you and others share my distress and my questioning. When I write, I can go into my own world and control it–a few hours of peace. Hopefully, more to come.
Great tips. This is the first year in 5 I haven’t put out a book from distraction and worry.
Dear Catherine,
I read your post then read it again. My sense is that we are on opposite sides of this issue. But I am concerned for you.
This sort of political nonsense has been going on since Thomas Jefferson ran for President. Seriously, read some of what was said about him and Lincoln and dozens of other candidates. The difference today is cable news that sucks you in 24/7 and peddles it’s own agenda.
Contrary to what they are selling, the world isn’t going to end. It is going to change. Neither of us can stop it from going what ever way it will. I’m not saying to accept it, I’m saying to put it in its place. After all most of the news today is just bad fiction. My apologies to bad fiction.
As writers we should observe, analyze, understand, and create a character to carry those emotions into a story. Let that character go where she will.
Be well. By the way, I just bought The Good Liar.
Hi from Australia!
Thanks for the reminder Catherine.
I am blocking out most news, nowadays. It is spin, calculated to inflict anxiety paralysis on the population.
I am hoping to hear more about how we can channel these feelings and thoughts into our work, as a way of processing for ourselves and as feedback to balance out the dominant narrative in the media. Maybe even help humanity make some sense of it all, or gain perspective.
Do you find you do that with your work? Do you have any insights into what works and what doesn’t?
A lot of what I vent into my writing ends up edited out later. I have found that things I write move into a space of allegory so that they are removed from the trauma of the real world.
I’d love to know how you and others are mulching the real to feed your writing.
Thank you. 😊✨
Thank you so much for your insightful words! And yes, in today’s climate, there are more than enough reasons to bury our heads under our comforters and forget about the political goings-on of the day. And your list of how to break through the things that stop us is spot-on as well.
I want to add that there are many kinds of chaos. I live in New Bern, NC. Yep. The little town hit hard by that sly b**** of a Hurricane named Florence. I live four block from our rivers. Luckily, the water came up to my first porch step and then receded. Over one hundred of my friends were not so lucky. They lost everything from their first-floor and basement belongings, to boats, cars, family heirlooms, pets. For three weeks I have not slept well, my mind unable to rid itself of streetscapes that will never be the same, of lives that have been temporarily destroyed. And even though I have spent hours helping my neighbors, and days praying that we get our wonderful town back on track soon, I only stopped writing for two weeks. Now that the carpenters are being called in, and my gloves and brooms are no longer needed, I am back in the saddle. I have a book to get out in November, and time does not wait for me. I am also a private tutor, and with some kids still out of school (their buildings either have mold or are still being used as shelters) I have made it clear to parents that a sense of normalcy needs to be had NOW.
Am I still sad to see my town in the aftermath? You betcha. Am I stressed that my friends may not get their homes fixed in time for cold weather? Yep. Am I shocked when I drive through any neighborhood within fifty miles of my home and see the devastation? Who wouldn’t be? But none of those things have anything to do with writing.
The bigger picture is always to be proactive. And for me, that means not allowing anything to get in the way of why I am on this earth.
As for finding ways to stay “offline”… I think a simple way is to use a calendar. I check social media in the morning while on the treadmill. After coffee clutch, I go to my office and write. Phone off. Internet off. No music. Nothing but the task at hand. At 3 pm I come out and head off to tutoring. Home at eight. The next day I do it all over again. And again.
Adults are no different than babies, whose parents try to get them onto a sleeping/feeding schedule right away. Schedules are what commitment is all about. They keep us in line. Without them nothing would get done.
So do as Catherine suggests, no matter what your chaos is at the moment. Allow yourself time to cry over the latest Supreme Court decision, or scream at Fox News or whatever, but then get back to what it is you were meant to do. Like I tell my husband every day to wrap up our coffee clutch, and after a few anti-POTUS expletives, “This book ain’t gonna write itself.” ; )
THANK YOU. Thank you so very, very much for this. I’ve been struggling with this so much, maybe a little more so because I write contemporary romance, and it’s hard to focus on sexytimes when, uh… *gestures broadly at everything* It’s been frustrating, because writing is usually something I enjoy so very much, but lately, my focus is on how difficult it would be for my characters to have any sort of realistic future if some of the things this current government wants to happen actually do happen. And then what do I do with the story?
It’s good to know that I’m (unfortunately) not alone in struggling with this.