Motivation: Make Writing Dessert Again
By Kim Bullock | July 12, 2017 |
Flickr Creative Commons: Ruth Hartnup
I admit it. For years I hesitated to invite anyone into my home, cringing even when my parents crossed the threshold. If there is a way to keep a house clean while sharing it with a husband, two children, three dogs and a Maine Coon cat, I haven’t found it. Dust happens. Fur happens. Clutter happens.
My kitchen was the stuff of nightmares. The forty-year-old popcorn ceiling literally came apart at the seams, raining bits of plaster on me while I attempted to cook. My husband unsuccessfully tried to pry up the once-white kitchen sink years ago, leaving behind a buckled and rusty patch on the lip. The counters didn’t quite match the back-splash, which no longer matched the cabinets because the chipping paint had become dingy. “This summer,” I told my husband, “we will tame this eyesore.”
In our family, there is not actually a ‘we’ in household projects involving cosmetic improvement. If you want to build the largest computer network in the world, my husband is your guy. He can scatter neutrons and is a whiz at calculus. Coordinating colors, though? Evenly painting a cabinet door? Um…not so much.
Determined not to lose all writing momentum during the remodel, I promised myself I’d do that first each day. Write a scene in my manuscript and then I could scrape the ceiling! Finish the chapter and then I could paint the inside of the pantry! What did I do on day one? Facebook. What did I do on day two? Errands. Word count: 0. Work done on kitchen: 0.
It took me weeks of floundering to realize the flaw in my plan. You see, I didn’t really want to scrape that ceiling. In fact, cleaning a public restroom with a toothbrush sounded more appealing than standing high on a ladder under a deluge of falling plaster bits. No writing = no dust in my hair.
Nearly every writing advice book or column I’ve read emphasizes putting the writing first, but it turns out that this strategy doesn’t work for me and, in fact, may have been working against me for years.The next morning I forbid myself from opening my manuscript until the ceiling was down and the mess cleaned up. Work done on kitchen: Goal met within two hours. Word count: 1200. The next day I painted the ceiling and still wrote 700 words.
Psychologically this makes sense if you look at the situation as a five-year-old might. Pretend your writing is an ice cream sundae and a dreaded chore is a heaping bowl of lima beans.
- If you are allowed to simply choose one, you will eat the ice cream and throw those lima beans in the trash, where they belong.
- If you are told you can only eat the ice cream if you finish the whole bowl of lima beans immediately afterwards, you might decide that there isn’t enough ice cream in the world to be worth that kind of torture.
- If you are told that you can eat the ice cream if you finish only ten of those beans first, most of us would find a way to get them down so we can get to the good stuff.
Why is it so hard to remember that writing is the good stuff?
When I started imagining writing as a dessert to look forward to after a few bites of yuck, I became obsessed with my story again. I wrote and re-wrote whole chapters in my head while I labored in the kitchen, pounding them out from memory the moment my fingers hit the keyboard. Even now, I’m writing this essay in record time because I must finish it before I get to write the scene percolating in my mind.
Sanding and painting 33 cabinet doors, 10 drawers, and more shelves than any one family should possess was no small feat. It also led me to the conclusion that remodeling a kitchen isn’t all that different from composing a novel. It’s messy, it’s a long slog, at some point you’ll end up in tears or inebriated, and it is totally worth it in the end.
My kitchen is now nearly done. Cabinets are painted. Counters, sink and cook stove installed – thank you, Lowe’s Home Improvement. The new back splash will soon be up – thank you, Dad.
My manuscript is nearly done, too. Thank you, kitchen.
What about you? Have you found that working on something completely unrelated to writing brings you closer to your work? If you struggle with motivation, have you attempted using your writing as a reward instead of an obligation?
[coffee]
Kim (she/her) has an M.A. in English from Iowa State University. She writes mainly historical fiction, though has also contributed non-fiction articles to historical and Arts and Crafts publications in both the United States and Canada. She has just finished The Oak Lovers, a novel based on the rather colorful life of her great-grandfather, landscape painter Carl Ahrens.
“A tidy house makes a tidy mind,” as I’ve heard it. This is an interesting perspective for me on seeing writing as ice cream. For me it’s the lima beans but I love them, and getting to attend to all things non-story afterwards is a day full of ice cream. Well, potatoes and meat first (by that I mean the work day and gym/exercise). What I find interesting is, though you and I have opposite approaches to writing time, the results are the same. Putting writing first to the exclusion of balanacing the rest of life hampers future writing time. Vice versa. There will always be priorities and priorities for those priorities and our time is finite. So what comes first above all and how can we make sure *these* things happen? There is room for lots, despite this limitation. Making sure you tend to the priorities and cast the rest away, it doesn’t matter what order you go in, because, like Escher’s self-drawing hands, these most important things receiving our time and energy investment inform each other and add to all we do synergisically. Good luck with finishing the kitchen, and congratulations on finishing your novel!
Hi John,
Thanks so much for chiming in here. The writing first approach works for a great number of people. For me, it may depend on what else it is that needs to be done. As a textbook “highly sensitive person” it probably shouldn’t have taken me so long to realize how much I am affected by color and clutter around me. The trick, I have found, is to break up my “yuck” into very bite sized pieces. Saying “no writing until the entire kitchen is done” would have broken my momentum for weeks. No one would want to live around me if that happened!
My current project is whitewashing a double sided fireplace in my living room. I assign myself a small, finite section a day, something that will take no more than two hours. It’s brainless, so I can think about my book while I work, and then go write down what I was pondering.
You may be the first person I know of who likes lima beans!
Rewards as an incentive to write is a good strategy. Or, writing could be the reward that awaits completion of a dreaded task. My problem comes in when I’m stuck. It could be a problem with the story or a character. That’s what stops me cold. I find myself putting off writing because there is always something else that needs to be done. And that’s when I need to get away from my writing space and brainstorm. I give you a lot of credit. I can’t imagine balancing a kitchen makeover with all the other stuff on your plate and finding time to write. Good luck with your manuscript, Kim. You’ve got a winning story.
Thanks, Chris!
The story is getting a brand new opening, but the last two thirds will remain about the same.
Getting stuck is the kiss of death for me, and it is what led me to get to work on that kitchen in the first place. The best way I’ve found to get out of the rut is to not sit there and stare at a blinking cursor. My nesting instinct kicks in when I need to puzzle something out in my head, and often the act of making a room in my home more inviting breaks the log-jam.
Maybe you could try giving yourself something else to do that you’ve been putting off or have been dreading. Don’t let yourself get back to the manuscript until that is done, even if inspiration hits in the middle of the task. It worked wonders for me!
I don’t “have” to write. I GET to write.
Exactly!
I have to watch myself so as not to descend into an all-day cleaning spree, but I find that when things are in order around me, I feel much more creative. I’ve been beating myself up for years about this propensity to clean first, but now you’ve validated my practice. As Grace commented above, once done, I feel like “now, I get to write!” Thanks for the insights gleaned from your experience, Kim.
I think the trick is not to say something like “I must clean the entire house before I get to write today.” Instead, break the house into chunks. Today I will clean this bathroom and then I get to write. Today I will clean up that catch-all spot in the counter and then I get to write.
This strategy can be taken too far, especially if you have other obligations, such as kids, a day job, or both.
As long as you get your “reward” at some point in the day, you are still moving forward.
I agree about having order. My house looked like a tornado had hit it. So. Much. Clutter. I literally had nightmares about that kitchen. *Shuddering*
Kim, I’ve been a too long slump and lamented about it on a Facebook group last night. As is turns out one of my friends in that group is working on a novel that shares similar themes as mine. . We decided to be accountability partners and have assigned deadlines to meet because we work better that way. Hopefully, this will keep us motivated.
Accountability partners can work as well. Do whatever works best for you, whatever will get those fingers flying over the keyboard. For me, things like daily word count goals just turn me into a big ball of anxiety. If I don’t meet them, I beat myself up, and that kills the creative flow.
Let me know how the arrangement works out for you. :-)
Love this! Good work! Now come do my kitchen!
Ha!
How about this…I’ll help with your kitchen if you help me whitewash this double-sided fireplace in the middle of my living room. That’s my new project. Still not sure how I’m going to get the top part done. It’s about 12 feet high there. Have I mentioned I’m not a fan of heights?
Mmm…ice cream. Drool.
I’ve seen the kitchen and your painful progress from start to finish. It’s beautimous, if that’s any comfort.
I’ve also weathered a reno — one that was professionally done — and could barely stand it. Took six weeks to redo a kitchen, and the crew started way too early in the morning for me (at the time).
I love the idea of the chore/reward system. I’ve been overwhelming myself with chores (always so much to do!) and never getting to the reward of writing.
So, like you, I’ve tried writing in the morning during coffee. I’m not awake enough for that. The synapses of my brain aren’t firing at full-capacity and it’s like shooting BB’s at an elephant. I have to wait until I’m sufficiently armed.
I’m integrating the chores and work as best I can. A little of each, a little at a time. I love that you mentioned “nine lima beans.” It’s hard not to see the whole bowl and feel defeated before you’ve even begun.
Thanks for a wonderful new analogy for better time-management. And again, beautimous kitchen.
Oh, I absolutely can’t write first thing in the morning. I wish I could because my kids are older now and will sleep in until at least ten if left alone!
The trick to this strategy is definitely to break the chores into bite-sized chunks. Something that will take two hours is great, if that can be managed, though I confess I made myself sand and paint the last six cabinet doors in one day. While everything dried, I worked on this post, since that was another thing I wanted to get done before I got back to my manuscript. After that I allowed myself a day to write without chores and wrote nearly two entire scenes.
There is still so much to be done around this house! I’ll be eating small piles of lima beans for a year. Blech!
Thanks for reminding me that writing is the FUN part.
Not sure why it is so easy to forget that!
Kim, thank you for this post! I’m sitting in a coffee shop right now, GETTING to write, and it’s a good thing for sure. And reading your post is the perfect break between editing and typing in my edits…then it’s back to work!
There’s a Frost poem I often think of (and often quote to my students), called “Two Tramps in Mud Time.” In the poem, the narrator has been visited by two “tramps” who want to chop his wood and be paid for it. But the narrator LIKES chopping wood and feels grumpy at the thought of paying for it. (This might be why it’s not one of his best-known poems. The premise isn’t exactly inspired.) The poem ends with this stanza:
But yield who will to their separation,
My object in living is to unite
My avocation and my vocation
As my two eyes make one in sight.
Only where love and need are one,
And the work is play for mortal stakes,
Is the deed ever really done
For Heaven and the future’s sakes.
If writing is your avocation, then it IS like dessert (even though it’s also hard work, of course). I love this idea of bringing together what you love with what you work at….
Great poem, Heather!
Hope the writing went well today. It is great to “get to” do what we love, isn’t it?
Congratulations Kim, on both the kitchen and the manuscript. Your experience mirrors mine. I write better when I reward myself with it, though I’ve also known to eat dessert first sometimes :)
Yes, sometimes we have to do that! I’ve been known to occasionally have dessert for dinner, too! :-)
I actually love house projects. When I lived in Iowa in a house that needed some updating, I would abandon my writing projects to spend weeks completing the painting or whatever I was doing. Your method is a good one. I think during that time, I was often physically exhausted and wanted only to provide the family dinner and hit the couch. Now writing comes first. It’s a great feeling.
I like the idea of house projects and the result, but not so much the doing! I love looking at my kitchen now, despite that the back-splash still isn’t up. At least that part my dad will be doing for me! I’ve now moved on to whitewashing a double sided brick fireplace. I’ve never loved the brick color, and it just makes the place seem so dated. I’m working in bite sized chunks to keep the inspiration flowing!
Thank you! This is so helpful. I’m always struggling with this reality-of-many-children-needing-me vs. want-to-write, so you sharing helps me see where I am in this process. I struggle with the brain power and space, if you will, to formulate what I want to write, much less actually getting the ink down on paper.
Oh, I hear you with the kiddos. I just have to have a talk with my 12 year old this morning about not interrupting me when I work unless it is an emergency. Ugh!
Great reminder, Kim! I’ve actually evolved a slightly different process than chore-reward. If there’s something I’m reluctant to start (once I start I’m always ok) but that MUST get done, I assign myself some worse chore. Then the first one immediately becomes much more attractive. Well, golly, yeah! I’d rather write this article with the impending deadline than clean the oven. You bet! It’s amazing how I continue to fall for this self-imposed trick.