We Will Always Be Beginners
By Natalia Sylvester | January 6, 2017 |
Please join us in welcoming new contributor Natalia Sylvester to Writer Unboxed! Born in Lima, Peru, Natalia Sylvester came to the U.S. at age four. A former magazine editor, Natalia now works as a freelance writer in Austin, Texas and is a faculty member of the low-res MFA program at Regis University. Her articles have appeared in Latina Magazine, Writer’s Digest, The Writer, and NBCLatino.com. Her debut novel, CHASING THE SUN, was named Best Debut Book of 2014 by Latinidad and was chosen as a Book of the Month by the National Latino Book Club. Her second novel, EVERYONE CARRIES THEIR OWN WATER, will be published in 2018. You can connect with Natalia on Instagram here. Welcome to WU, Natalia!
Photo By Nicholas Erwin
On the first week of the new year and for my first post as a regular contributor (hello, WU fam!) it seems only fitting to write about beginnings.
But not new ones. Not the fresh starts or the “New Year, New Yous” messages we are so often bombarded with this time of year. Not the literal and figurative blank pages that are so exciting-we-will-finally-get-them-right-this-time-omg-no-pressure-right?!
Because really, we’ve been here before.
How many January’s have unfolded before us, ripe with potential?
How many first lines, first chapters, first drafts?
How many times has the progress in our Works-in-Progress marched forward, only for us to end up back at square one?
Each time we start over, we find we know (more or less) what to expect. We know what the air smells like in January. We recognize the late-afternoon pastel sky and grey-white trees. But despite being packaged in the familiar, what the year will bring is unknown to us.
And so it goes with our stories. The process will be similar in some ways to the last one—a blank page blossoming into a draft that will be edited, and rewritten, and reworked. But we won’t really know what a story demands of us until it becomes what it’s meant to become.
We are all in different places in our paths, and yet, we will always be beginners.
Starting Over is Still Starting
I’ve been reminded of this countless times in my own writing and publishing journey:
When I signed with my first agent and the book didn’t sell, and I had to start over and write a new one. Faced with that new beginning, I was heartbroken, but once I got back to the writing I recognized that new story for what it was: a new source of hope. (It became my debut, but not my first, novel.)
When, years later, my agent submitted a revised version of that unsold novel to the publisher that had acquired Chasing the Sun, and they turned it down. That rejection, no matter that it wasn’t the first time I’d gotten it, hurt as much as a fresh wound.
When I finally moved on and wrote what I hoped would be my second published novel, only to learn that my agent and I had different visions for the story. After months of trying to make the partnership work, we parted amicably and I began querying agents again.
When I told friends and family members I was starting over and looking for a new agent, and they optimistically said, “but you already have a book out! I’m sure it’ll be easy.” (It wasn’t.) In the end, it all came down to the writing. I signed with a new agent whom I heard about through Twitter, and whom I cold-queried just liked I did the first time around.
When my new agent began shopping my book to publishers, and the process was much like the last two times: a lot of waiting, anxiety, and attempts at distraction. I got reacquainted with toughening my skin as the rejections came in, the measured hope as signs of interest began to surface, the tears, the celebration once it sold.
And finally when, about a month after I signed the contract for my next book, I started writing a new story. I wrote three fresh, first pages that left me inspired and excited…and then I struggled to write another word for weeks. There is only so much experience and know-how I can pull from, because despite my previous writing, I’ve never written this story before. I’m beginning again. And that is both terrifying and exciting.
Everything is Cyclical
Like the Earth that spins on its axis and takes a year to circle around the sun, we, too, exist within cycles, full of both the familiar and the new. We learn a lot as we go along our way, but the more we progress, the more unknowns we encounter.
And so, as we move on to yet another year, onto yet more unwritten stories, I wish us all much wonder to keep us inspired, much humility to keep us learning, and much courage to keep us, always, beginning.
What new (or not-so-new) things are you starting this year? What have you had to begin again?
[coffee]
Born in Lima, Peru, Natalia Sylvester came to the U.S. at age four. A former magazine editor, Natalia now works as a freelance writer in Austin, Texas and is a faculty member of the low-res MFA program at Regis University. Her articles have appeared in Latina Magazine, Writer’s Digest, The Writer, and NBCLatino.com. She is the author of Chasing the Sun, named the Best Debut Book of 2014 by Latinidad and chosen as a Book of the Month by the National Latino Book Club. Her second novel, Everyone Knows You Go Home, is forthcoming from Little A in 2018.
I don’t really have much to say right now–it’s early, and I’m still working on coffee #1, so I’ll just say, nice debut, Natalia, welcome to WU!
Thanks so much, Jeffo! I myself haven’t had my first cup of tea yet…must remedy that soon!
Welcome to WU, Natalia! I’ll take that courage you offer up, thank you. Last year I researched and drafted 70K worth of notes and partial scenes for a new novel that, at year’s end, took a left turn on me. The concept feels tighter now. Easier to communicate. An opening hook finally, finally arrived. But the left turn requires that I rethink the novel all the way through, so I’m digging in to start again.
Why is it that when we first write a novel we luxuriate in the creative process, but once published, we hope to just add water and grow a quick chia pet? Thanks for the reminder that to finish we must be willing to begin, over and over.
Kathryn, I’m in the exact same boat, even to the 70,000 words! We shall sally forth to conquer our WIPs together this year!
Thank you for the warm welcome, Kathryn! And omg, I love that chia pet metaphor!
I’m sure it must’ve been so hard to reach 70k and have the book take a left turn—a similar thing happened with Chasing the Sun, when, about six or seven drafts in, I discovered a new character who basically, brought an entirely new subplot to the novel. It’s challenging, but also kind of exciting, that the writing can surprise you even when you’re so far along, don’t you think?
Starting the new year and the new page always holds so much promise! I love that feeling. What I’ve found so interesting about the writing process is that it’s not only the stories that are new, but often how I go about doing things & writing things: from planning to the actual writing. As for me right now, I’m beginning again again…a story that has been dogging me for a while. And so it goes. So so happy to have you here in this new year, Natalia! xox
You’re so right…not only is each story different, but the writing process changes with the needs of each one. I can’t wait to hear about your new WIP, Julia! xoxo
Natalia, hope you’re staying warm today. Real winter-like weather in Austin today! Wonderful first post and welcome to WU! I think this line is my favorite: “There is only so much experience and know-how I can pull from, because despite my previous writing, I’ve never written this story before. I’m beginning again.” Kind of like with relationships, no? :-)
So much like relationships, Densie. We have to come to each one with an appreciation for its uniqueness.
As for the ATX cold front: I just saw a woman jogging in my neighborhood in shorts and a tank top! How is she not freezing?!
Hope you’re staying warm, too!
Great inaugural post, Natalia. Makes me think of a quote by a writer some may have heard of:
“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.” -Ernest Hemingway
Looking forward to reading more from you.
Best,
Greg Levin
(another Austinite writer)
Thank you, Greg! Nice to see more ATX writers here!
Welcome to WU and thank you for your refreshing post. We need beginnings. It tells us that we are not doings, but beings, that we are not defined just by our past. We can always begin anew. I have always loved beginnings, all the possibilities. And although I’m in the middle of a writing project, I’ve also begun some deep edits on an old book that will not leave me alone.
This is beautiful, Vijaya: “we are not doings, but beings, that we are not defined just by our past. ” Such a true, necessary reminder.
Welcome.
I am 21 books (under various names) into my career and I can affirm what you’re saying. It’s always back to square one.
The thing is, I like being at square one. It means I am going to learn something nuew. How dull it would be to be doomed to repeat oneself over and over!
I like your clear, friendly, common sense tone. Looking forward to your future posts!
I couldn’t agree more, Benjamin! I am often nervous when I find myself back at square one or facing the unknown, but then I remember how boring life would be if things always turned out exactly the way we expect.
I am so glad to read your words today. At the end of 2016 I did a very dumb thing: I looked back at my journal entries from the end of 2015. They were filled with hope and optimism about how 2016 would go, including my hopes for my first publishing contract as I was about to go out on submission. A year later, I felt like I was in exactly the same place as I’d started. Yes, I’d worked (HARD) on two novel MSS during 2016, but I was still in the same place, waiting on editors to see in my book what my agent and a number of other readers saw.
I’m waiting still, an active, productive waiting, constantly working on the next thing and the last thing at the same time, feeling like I’m spinning in circles on the lawn, waiting for the dizziness to take me down. One consolation? Even when we hit the ground, we can still look up at the sky.
New year, new start? Maybe not. But every morning is, isn’t it?
Oh, Erin! I’ve SO been there. My first unsold novel was on submission for a year and two months. CHASING THE SUN thankfully did not take as long, but it took several months and two rounds of submissions. I think there are many, many more of us for whom it takes time than there are the very quick sales. And the thing is, there’s no knowing or telling which one you’ll be, so you have to keep trying.
I’m glad you’re actively waiting and being productive. It took me a while to learn that lesson!
Thank you for sharing this. I had such a nasty struggle with a long short story yesterday…lots of resistance. It does give me courage to know others have struggled in the same way.
I’m so glad, Becky. I’m always surprised by how many people assume writing comes easy to us writers. I always tell them, it’s not that it’s any easier for me. But the struggle makes me try harder.
Good to see you here on WU. As writers we share experience. We share the days when the page yields nothing and the days when we GOT IT and nothing can stop us from moving on. This morning a thought circled in my mind and I wrote it down and shared it:
“I’m a writer. I can’t control the world, but I can create the world on the page.”
I love this, Beth. What an empowering way to look at it. I’ll remember this next time I face one of those days when the page yields nothing. Thanks!
Welcome, Natalia! So good to have your voice here at WU! And what a timely reminder that we are all continually starting anew, sometimes willingly and, as others have alluded, sometimes kicking and screaming (metaphorically, at least).
Personally, I’ve shelved two works in process in as many years. With each I found myself moving beyond them, outside the characters in a way I instinctively knew wouldn’t serve the stories well. I still think they have potential, but until I can be in the right place it might be best to let them ripen a bit more.
And so the new year finds me stepping into a new novel set in a new world, one more vivid to me than the prior two ever became. Given my experience with my first novel, I think that bodes well. But we shall see as it plays out. The one thing I do know, the one firm commitment I have for 2017, is that this is the year I will complete a full draft on a new work. Perhaps it will be this new story, or perhaps I’ll dust off one of the two recent efforts.
Starting is important, as is finishing … though we’ll save that topic for another day, or another post :).
Thanks again for the perspective on new beginnings. Cheers!
I can very much relate to feeling like you’ve moved beyond a WIP. It might not feel like it in the moment, but it means we’re growing and ready for perhaps another project. I’m so glad you’ve found yourself in a new project and new world more vivid than the previous. Best wishes for 2017!
I’m so happy to have you join us, Natalia.
As for your question, I’m circling back to a manuscript that was on the back burner for a while. It’s interesting how something that’s been left for some time can seem new again when you re-approach it. Love the fresh perspective you can gain with distance.
Looking forward to your posts here! Welcome!
So happy for you, Therese! We are all cheering you on as you dive back in!
I just loving seeing you here, Natalia. Congrats again, and welcome to the WU family. :) Your journey sounds a lot like mine in many ways, which is probably not at all what we or most writers thought it was supposed to look like when we started out. Like you, I’ve begun again and again at pretty much every facet of it, and each time I learn more, grow more, and keep pushing forward. I think stopping to appreciate the ride is secretly one of the best parts. <3
So great to join you all, Annie! Thanks for the warm welcome :)
I think there are so many more of us that have this kind of journey than not. Things always seem to happen slowly before they do, then they seem to go by too fast once they’ve happened. You’re right the best thing we can do is enjoy the ride.
So glad to have you here at WU, Natalia, and great first post. It’s so, so true.
Btw, I also ADORE the name of your forthcoming novel! If it’s as good as your first, then I know I’m going to love it. :)