Stepping Out, Stepping In, Bringing the Light
By Heather Webb | December 22, 2016 |
https://bit.ly/2hVfq9S
While I write this post, I’m sitting in a café in Brooklyn, watching servers whip by carrying plates of breakfast food to eager customers. There are no piles of pancakes or greasy omelets and sausages, but rather breakfast salads with kale and seasoned sweet potatoes topped with grilled scallops, or biscuits dressed with chorizo and assorted greens. I smile as I glance down at my filleted avocado slathered with jalapeño crème fraiche, fluffy scrambled eggs with scallions, and a wedge of dragon fruit added for beauty—all range-free, fair-trade, and organic. (Let’s not forget guilt-free.)
“Ahh, Brooklyn,” I sigh with love.
I dig into my plate with glee, thinking back on the events of the previous day. Yesterday I wandered through an art gallery and sipped chocolate martinis with a dear friend, admired Christmas decorations that adorned the windows of Manhattan’s beautiful storefronts.
I relished the escape from my routine.
I’ve run away from home, you see. I’ve run away from my work-in-progress and my obligations. I’ve run away from social media (mostly), and the political black hole threatening to suck in all sentient beings around it. Instead, I’m enjoying myself (what a concept). I’m refilling my energy stores, and refilling my creative well.
I’m gathering my strength.
Stepping away to do the things I enjoy allows me time to ruminate on what matters most to me. It enables me to immerse myself in gratitude, not only for those I cherish, but for those incredible individuals who create beauty in the fabric of our messy human existence.
It’s there, this beauty. It exists in spades, no matter how much horror we see from day to day.
During a time of fear and tumult and change, taking stock of what makes us happy is essential. It’s called self-care. While much of self-care is about making healthy choices and seeking out experiences that fulfill us, there’s another component that is too often overlooked. Self-care is about boundaries. These boundaries translate to saying “no” when you need to, to stepping away sometimes, to saying “enough is enough.”
With boundaries we preserve what is good inside of us–we prevent our spiritual bankruptcy.
At some point, all of this self-care translates to fuel; fuel that ignites something inside of us—a burning, an impetus, a yearning. And what do we do with all of that burning? We channel it, transform it to light. Hopefully, we take it a step further. We become that light. We become the kind of light only apparent in our very best writing—the kind of writing that ignites revolutions. This is our gift, we writers—our words. Use them and use them effectively. Use them as if they’re your last.
Enjoy these last precious days of the year (isn’t each day precious?) to reflect on all that is good. Tend your creative well. Nurture yourself. Relish and enjoy what is before you.
Gather your strength and your courage.
Just around the bend that quiet contemplation, self-care, and gratitude will give your words—the words we need so desperately now, more than ever—LIGHT and POWER.
How will you nurture yourself these final days of 2016?
Heather Webb is the USA Today bestselling and award-winning author of historical fiction. As a freelance editor and an adjunct in a MFA in Creative Writing program, Heather has helped many writers sign with agents and go on to sell at market. When not writing, she feeds her cookbook addiction, geeks out on history and pop culture, and looks for excuses to head to the other side of the world. To date, her books have been translated to seventeen languages.
Hey, Heather,
Such an appropriate post for the end of the year. Actually, my month-long excursion up the east coast in November was my stop, drop, and roll maneuver for self-care. Visits with various family members, strength for the journey from my tribe at the UnCon, the freedom of the open road — all fed my spirit until it overflowed.
Sometimes we forget that, as writers, we put so much heart and soul into our work, we’re left empty (or on an eighth of a tank) by the time all is said and done. One can only run on fumes for so long before konking out. Thanks for reminding us to fill up before hitting the creative highway.
Mike, I envied that trip of yours! It looked like a load of fun and with a guy like you, full of life and energy, I bet it was. You said it–I was close to konking myself. It was time to put on the brakes. Happy holidays, my friend!
Heather, your sage advice is so timely. Self-care really does provide the fuel that keeps us moving forward. So often we get caught up in whatever project we’re working on or deadline we are trying to meet. We need to take a step back sometimes and take care of ourselves. I’m planning to take the week between Christmas and New Year’s off from work. I plan to relax, experience the spiritual aspects of this holiday, spend time with my family and finish my WIP (I hope). Whether writers or not, we all need to take care of ourselves. All the best to you and your family for a joyous holiday season.
Christopher, that sounds just about right. I’m taking this week off before Christmas and then I plan to slide back into gear. So far, I’m loving my time down in N.C. in the hot tub, walks outside, great food and wine, and the family. Merry Christmas to you! I hope your batteries recharge with gusto.
Good morning, fellow Brat. As it happens, there is no rest for the wicked (or the wise). I’ll be spending my Christmas slow-down period re-writing my Navy Brat book, the first of many I hope. A big-five publisher read my ms and loved it. “Now re-write the entire thing” says the editor.
Be careful what you pray for, right?
But I do find it invigorating. I’m taking a book I’ve edited and re-edited a dozen times, honing it to perfection, and ripping about half of it out. I’m adding new scenes, new characters, practically a new plot.
And it’s all good.
This is the writer’s life-lesson. If we want to make it to the show, we write what is required of us, not always what we think is best. The editor at (publishing house to be named later) even made recommendations for the series, which are completely different than the narrow path I’d chosen. Suddenly my world is wide open. Someday I’ll thank her, even if they pass on the new version. Her insight and suggestions have already, I think, made me better.
Not exactly a relaxing season (or 50th birthday…December 30th…don’t overspend), but a time I am cherishing. These are the moments every writer prepares for.
Here’s to a very happy 2017!
This is really fabulous military-brat friend! :) Congratulations on your positive feedback. Having your world busted wide open is precisely where the magic in fiction happens. I hope you rock it! Wishing you the best of luck as you revise and a happy holiday season.
Glad to hear others are restocking the energy stores as well. I’ve been focused on the holidays and getting into the festive spirit. Writing will be there after the new year. Happy Holidays! I wish you a productive 2017.
Good for you, Karen. I need to take a page from your book. Merry Christmas!
Lovely reminder to practice exquisite self-care during tough times. And as much as it is about saying “no” and setting boundaries, I think it can also be about saying “yes.” Yes to allowing yourself the space for renewal. Yes to choosing to see the beauty and good in tough situations or challenging people. Yes to taking actions that feel necessary, that are empowering, that just might change someone’s world. Happy Holidays!
Great point, Christine. I’m such a “yes” woman that I have to work hard at saying “no”, but it’s equally important to step up to the plate, especially if that’s the more difficult path for you. Have a wonderful holiday season!
Lovely post, Heather. I especially liked the beginning as I could see the Brooklyn café you stopped at, the clientele and the food. That slice of 2016, where we’re at with our environment and conscience.
Yes, sometimes I feel like there’s not enough time and yet time away from the computer is invaluable as it gives me a chance to process what I’m doing and come up with new ideas.
Wishing you a Merry Christmas and all the best in 2017.
I, too, need much time away from the computer and all of the expectations. Merry Christmas!
Lovely essay on being a light. I’ve purposely cut down on activities during Dec. to have a quiet Advent. We’ve been learning the Byrd Mass for 4 voices to sing at Midnight Mass. This music is rich and ties me to the Catholics in Tudor England. After Christmas, more focus on writing. Like Ron, I’ve rec’d good editorial feedback on a novel and I’m itching to dive in.
Such a beautiful piece, Vijaya! I’ve definitely taken refuge in music during this dark time. Now the shortest day is over.
Every minute counts Barb.
I’m working through feedback on a novel, myself, and though I’m not itching to dive into it now, I know a week away will get me ready to roll. Merry Christmas!
Heather, as a military brat, were you in East Asia?
I wasn’t, no. I assume you were? Happy holidays!
Wonderful post, beautifully written, Heather. (You’ve also gone and made me quite hungry for a Brooklyn-foodie breakfast, but that’s a harmless side-effect of good writing.)
It’s sort of serendipitous, how I ended up here this morning. As I sorted through my email first thing this morning, I clicked on a notification that a stranger had “liked” a two year old post on my blog. I went to see which one. It was my tribute to my mom, a week or so after her death in late January of ’15. I reread the post, and something stood out—her courage. I sort of breeze by it in the post and poem I wrote, but it stood out today. She’d gone out and gotten a job in the early 70s, when a woman’s place was in the home. Then she swiftly rose to become a successful manager at a large women’s fashion retail outlet.
From there, because it was one of the “suggested posts,” I went to a tribute I wrote about my dad, in 2013. Again, I mention his “quiet courage,” as well as his humility. It’s funny, but I’d never really compared the two essays. They’re similar in a lot of ways. Both posts speak of my parents’ influence on my work, and on my life as a writer. Both posts mention the courage of a couple who grew up during the depression, who met right after WW2, who worked to forge a remarkably steady household for their four children—through the Cold War, the Cuban Missile Crisis, the turbulent 60s, etc. They provided us with “the good life.” And I think I appreciate that now more than I ever have before.
My mom was a pretty tough lady. Loving, but tough. She was the sort of mom to patch us up and tell us to “buck up and get back out there” if we ran home with skinned knees. Both of my parents instilled us with a “no use jawin’ about it—just roll up your sleeves and do the work” attitude. They lived through tough times, but they compartmentalized. They enjoyed themselves, and sheltered their family from turbulence.
One of my mom’s catch-phrases was, “It’s a great life, if you don’t weaken.” I always sort of rolled my eyes at the saying. It’s from Scottish novelist John Buchan (who later became Governor General of Canada). It took me five decades, but I think I finally see why she said it. There will always be difficulties and ugliness in the world—things we cannot control. But there is beauty, and love. And there is always something we *can* do to change circumstance—our own, and for the greater good.
I can finally see that my mom was telling us that we can, and should, live a great life—a meaningful life. That we can muster our strength, do the work, persevere. But that it’s also incumbent on us to appreciate the beauty, and share the love in our hearts. As novelists, we’re in the perfect position to do just that—for ourselves and for the greater good. Thanks for being a part of my serendipitous morning, my friend.
What a beautiful reply, Vaughn. I’ve reread this twice just now. Now I know why you’ve turned out to be such a wonderful man–you had wise and lovely parents.
“It’s a great life, if you don’t weaken.” I’m writing this one down. How true it feels, now, more than ever. I do believe life is grand, even in the low moments, somehow, because those moments show us what we’re made of. I’ve recently hit a pretty low point, but when I looked myself in the eye, my mirrored reflection didn’t just show hurt, but strength and determination. It reflected heaps of hope, and what else can one ask for?
I hope you have a very lovely holiday season, and wish you writing magic. <3
Awesome mirror moment. I can’t imagine you any other way but strong and determined and hopeful. You’ve been an inspiration to me for many years now.
Hugs, Heather. Here’s to the low points. Without them we wouldn’t quite know how wonderful the high ones are, right? Plus, more hugs!
Wishing you a blessed holiday season, and the highest high points in the year to come!
Heather–thank you for this graceful reminder to us to take pleasure in what nourishes the body, mind and soul. Lose the kale, and I’m with you all the way.
Jokes aside, when you encourage us to “enjoy these last precious days of the year,” it’s impossible not to think in terms of the last precious days of you-know-whose presidency. But lots of dark times have figured before, and people stood up to meet them. Writer Unboxed and similar sites will serve to nourish those people, and help to give them the mother’s milk of all creativity–hope.
Thanks again.
For me, Advent (to give this period of time its traditional name) is fundamentally a time of arrival, light and optimism for the future, not departure and gloom.
Fantastic, David. May the light shine through you!
An eloquent reply, Barry. I’m with you on the one who shall not be named, and the dark days that surely lie ahead. But hope is stronger than all, isn’t it? We have that. Happy holidays and happy writing!
This rings so true today, Heather. For the past three days I’ve been out doing Holiday business, picking out gifts for folks I love and hanging with family. Sleeping late, too. No radio, no politics. Just moody skies, a few snow flurries and the Solstice. Light returning. It’s my favorite day of the year and a time for renewal, so your post is spot on. I feel rested (a rare occurrence) and grateful, and I have a hunger to sit down and write. All good. Have a wonderful Holiday!!
The solstice is a wonderful day for me, too, Susan. It’s the day we begin to head out of the tunnel of darkness, so to speak. Have a great holiday and enjoy your creative urges!
Heather, sometimes it’s so hard to do, but absolutely. Spending time with my smart, funny female friends is a big part of my own self-care. I hope that continues in 2017. For me, it’s preventive maintenance.
Preventive maintenance is a great way to put that. I swear, girlfriends cure most ailments, don’t they? Happy holidays!
Heather, yes, sometimes it’s only when you slow down that you realize that you’ve been pedaling furiously on the hamster wheel (and realize with some chagrin that you haven’t gone much of anywhere). Self-care is good stuff, and its effects usually extend benefits to all of your fellows as well.
I’m heading down to the airport in an hour to go see my 94-year-old mom. She’s just a tiny bird now, but has always shown so much resilience and optimism about life (stuff her cranky son resists). She is the light for me, so I’m going to go down and get illuminated.
I can’t imagine you cranky, Tom! I enjoy your articles so much. I hope you have a lovely holiday with your mother, and bathe in her light!
Thanks for your words, Heather. We’ve had winds and rain here in southern California, but yesterday late afternoon the sky was lit with the last sunlight and the trees gleamed and I felt the spirit of the season–like my very self was opening up. Part of self-care and healing is welcoming the positive and eschewing the negative. Sometimes I find that hard to do, but your words reminded me that I must. Wishing all here the blessings of the season.
Yes, sifting out the negative is so difficult sometimes. I’ve been struggling with it lately, myself, yet strangely, I also feel more on my toes than ever. Sometimes all we need is a battle cry.
Enjoy your nice weather and happy holidays!
Thanks for your post, Heather. I was guilting earlier today about my desire to step away from my writing for a few days. But I think I’m going to do it — leave the laptop behind and enjoy this season.
Oh, and what’s the name of the restaurant? I’m always looking for great brunch places in NYC.
Have a beautiful holiday!
How lovely to see this through your eyes. I long to travel more and it’s always a treat when someone shares an experience I can live through vicariously. What you say about self-care is true, and something I seem to always need to be reminded of. Thank you.
I’m taking that self-care timeout on New Year’s Day by attending a yoga and meditation class and I’m so looking forward to it.
Joyeux Noel.
That sounds really lovely, Tonia. I’m in desperate need of a retreat right now. I need to find the love again…
Have a wonderful holiday and I hope you really enjoy that time away!
Lovely article, Heather. So important to remember to breathe, stay hydrated, rest. Alert friends can help with self-care, too. I remember one season when I was working a ridiculous 70 hours a week at my day job and one friend would routinely come by and drag me away from the computer for a walk or a meal. Being an OT, she analysed my workspace and helped me make changes to prevent injury. I notice this awareness and support in many of my communities, including WU. During the coming year may we all find more compassion and care for ourselves and for others.
It’s such a gift to have friends like these in our lives. I don’t know what I’d do without mine. Wishing you a very restful and joyful holiday!
Just love your posts, Heather!
Thank you, my friend. xoxo. Merry Christmas!
After a hectic and difficult year I am now amongst family and friends, great company and some days to look forward to when ‘leisure’ is the buzz word. How lovely after some many days when the To-do list was so incredibly long!
Wishing you a wonderful holiday, a chance to completely relax and make ready for the new year to come!
Self care–yes, always. A lengthy bathroom remodel I contracted myself, a thorough house organization afterward, the proverbial fluffing of the nest. Political quagmire somewhat alleviated by the pleasantries of the holidays, I suppose. I haven’t looked at my manuscript since August. The time away has been good. There was a point I missed it after working on it so long, and now I’m wondering whether to do anything with it at all. Self care, indeed.
Heather-
I love that you are recharging in the borough where I live and work! Honestly, it recharges me too–every day. I’m away this Christmastime on a family visit, and I miss it. I’ll recharge again when I’m home.
Glad you experienced the Rothko exhibit! Strangely seasonal and needed, isn’t it?
Happy Holidays.
Well said. And one bright spot of this year is the fuel it has given me for my stories. Happy New Year, Heather!