What to Do This Summer
By Guest | June 27, 2016 |
photo by Flickr’s Bruce Jones
Kelly Simmons is a former journalist and advertising creative director and the author of the novels Standing Still, The Bird House, and One More Day. She’s a member of WFWA, Tall Poppy Writers and The Liars Club, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping fledgling novelists.
We enjoyed Kelly’s quirky fun voice so much on her last post with us — Writing & Bathing — that we invited her back. And when we read what she submitted, we couldn’t think of a better essay to help us kick off our Summer Break.
Break? What?
Just a mini-break–for the duration of the summer–and only on Sundays. We’ll be back to our regular post-a-day schedule in September. In the meantime, Kelly has some ideas for all who will be struggling to find ways to merge writing with kids at home 24/7 and other domestic challenges.
You can learn more about Kelly on her website, and by following her on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.
Improve Your Writing in One Weekend! Act Now!
There’s nothing like the proliferation of coastal writer’s retreats, summer sabbaticals and competitive residencies to get a struggling, job-chained, or family-laden writer down. Do not despair! Act now and save with this special offer . . . .
Dear Author,
Thank you for your interest in Real Life Writing Retreats: Providing Fodder for Free Since The Invention of The Quill Pen!
Here’s just a taste of what you’ll experience in this special Weekend Workshop . . .
It all starts with Friday’s Muse in the Farmer’s Market. Here, you build characters as you shop. Does the man fondling the lettuce seem . . .lonely? 
What is the motivation behind the woman surreptitiously eating the grapes – is it poverty, or did she just leave a Cross Fit class after skipping lunch? Waiting in the checkout line, organizing your coupons, sneak glances at the contents of other carts. Do rubber gloves, rubber bands and bleach add up to murder? Or is someone tie-dying her blue jeans again?
After putting 15 bags of food away by yourself, enjoy a brief meet-and-greet with your exuberant cabin-mates -- Dog, Cat, Spouse, and Children before digging in to the second workshop: Harnessing Sense Memories in the Kitchen. It’s a reminder to infuse your writing with the aromas of simmering spices, the gritty feel of steel wool under fingernails, and the piercing wails of a teenager who has too much college prep to load the dishwasher.
The evening wraps with 3 Simple Ways To Make Time for Your Writing. You’ll practice using the remote to turn off the TV, turning the lock on your bedroom door, and walking away from unfolded laundry.
Choose from several optional Arts & Crafts add-ons including Crafting Homemade Earplugs and Using Essential Oils to Block out Marijuana Fumes from Oldest Son’s Basement Playroom.
Saturday morning, start your writing day with inspiring nature walks while picking up dog doo, followed by helpful segments like How To Write While Pretending You’re Watching Your Youngest Son’s 3,000th Baseball Game.
Sunday wraps with Weeding Is The Same As Editing in the bright sunshine of your own front yard!
We hope you’ll consider making Real Life Writing Retreats a regular part of your writing routine.
P.S. Know a writer friend with toddlers? Please recommend our free video series, “No More Teddy Bear Tea Parties, You’ve Got A Word Count Goal To Make!”
There are lots of ways to hone your craft and up your word count on a given weekend. What’s worked for you? Has anyone tried to use dictation while perched aboard a riding lawnmower? Can you write off a hammock on your taxes?
What are you doing this summer?
Many thanks to today’s guest.
You can read more WU guest posts by visiting this link.
I feel your pain. I am the crazy woman who brings a lap top to lacrosse tournaments and is writes under the shade of the sole leaf for miles atop orange peels and empty Gatorade bottles. Here are a few tips for my summer survival:
1. Bid farewell to Twitter and FB. Not only is it better for your word count, but one too many pics of your writer friends with their toes in the sand #amwriting may send you into a blind rage.
2. Nothing says summer better than a nice bottle of a crisp Rose. Just what you need to get your creative juices flowing and to ease the nerves from the screeches of children fighting or the PTSD inducing sound of guns firing on Xbox on a beautiful sunny afternoon.
3. Invest in a high quality lock for your bedroom door and a pair of noise canceling headphones. Save a plane ticket to Hawaii, it’s the best shot you have of keeping children, partners and spouses out of sight and out of mind for a break neck writing sprint here and there.
And if all else fails, make a “Labor Day” countdown chart – and know that with every big red “X” you are one day closer to sanity!
There is nothing worse than a photo of a writer’s laptop set up with a beach view!! Glad I’m not the only one, Laurie.
We impose “Quiet Time” on our kids.
We would lock them out in the yard, but we don’t have a yard. We are city dwellers. We are locked inside. With them. When Quiet Time goes well it is because I can make myself deaf.
Being a parent is a test of how much you really want to write. In my case, that need is strong. Somehow my kids will survive. I have faith on many levels.
If they can have nap time in schools, why not quiet time at home, right? However this does not work on my dog. #onestepatatime
I’m laughing so hard. No wonder I prefer to do dishes by myself while I iron out plot problems (I don’t do any real ironing, btw). I do like going to the beach in the evenings with my family … summertime is brainstorming time. I routinely throw my kids out of the house as well. As Benjamin says, “Somehow my kids will survive. I have faith”
Kelly–Thanks for this valuable shortlist of summer resources for writers. But let’s turn briefly to something other than the obstacles created by Mommyhood and Wifedom. You’d think retirees lived in a writer’s sweet spot, up to their necks in free time. Yes, and no.
Here’s a short list of summer workshops/tutorials/mentoring available to senior citizens:
“The Curse of the Cursor”
Operating out of roving semi trailers, this six-day class targets older writers in technology-deprived parts of the country. Attendees are weaned from ballpoint pens and typewriters as they master the basics of word-processing, Google Search, etc. Classes are taught by licensed, potty-trained grandchildren. Each child is carefully vetted for qualities of focused attention, and speech development. All semi trailers come equipped with tailgate lifts for barrier-free access, multiple portable toilets, and ample supplies of Ensure.
“Social Media for Gramps & Grams”
This imaginative offering invites participants–at the entry level–to explore the rich potential offered by Facebook for creative self-promotion and self-expression. Volunteer instructors known as Facebook Senior Nannies train older students to bring their personal worlds to life. This includes learning how to make hobbies like metal-detecting and foot-sanding vivid for others.
“Ready, Set, Go!”
This online class is for seniors interested in exploring in greater detail the rich possibilities of social media. Students learn how to Snapchat by posting photos of themselves, and composing short texts that disappear before they can forget them. Pinterest orientation shows students how to provide before-and-after pictures of craft projects, colonoscopies, carjackings, etc. Other platforms include Glintz, Pulver’d and Shtup (not to be confused with Shut Up).
OMG, so true! Sometimes all we do in our writer’s networking meetings is explain technology. And btw –Snapchat is IDEAL for colonoscopy shots!
Great post, Kelly! I work part-time and have been having a great summer with my kids but I’m starting to go a little stir-crazy. I’ve got 5 weeks and one big vacation to get through until my 6 and 8 year old are back in school. We keep a tight routine during the school year, but now I’m under siege. I am playdated and swimming pool’d and Lego’d out. It’s every writer for themselves – I am keeping ’em up later so they’ll sleep in (those two hours in the morning are GOLD, Jerry, GOLD!) I say yes to WAY too much TV – hey, it can be educational! – and when I’m really desperate – I hand them the devices and the wifi password and tell ’em to get lost in Minecraft for a bit. “Quiet time” is also imposed daily. And if a kid complains about being bored, I have a load of laundry to fold, a pantry that needs organized, or dog poop to clean up – have at it, sweeties! Mama needs to do her writing! I am working on the second draft of my book and I’m actually making some progress. SOME. Not a lot. But it’s getting done. Progress, not perfection, right?? C’mon August! Happy writing to you!
Too bad we don’t live near each other — we could swap out time for writing dates! Good luck with it. August is the hardest month for writing but there’s something to be said for lazy brainstorming while playing legos!! :)
Nothing I can say can top what you wrote. Fun post, thanks Kelly!
Also, I just have to say to the editorial team and brilliant photographer: AWESOME PHOTO! Thank you for the great accompaniment.
This is excellent. Love it. I am a big fan of fitting in reading time by listening to audio books while doing the dishes, cooking, or getting exercise.
Haha, this is so great! Its good to know Im not the only one that signed them up for every VBS in town and made up a do not disturb sign for my bedroom door that says “Knocking= No Ice Cream”