Don’t Worry, It Only Gets Harder
By Dan Blank | January 25, 2016 |
Image by Drew Brayshaw
I just finished up running an event focused on helping writers battle distraction — the type of stuff that gets in the way of their writing.
I did deep interviews with nine creative professionals. And I think Dani Shapiro summed it up best:
“Not only doesn’t it get any easier, it actually gets harder.”
That quote is from her book Still Writing. If you haven’t bought it yet, go buy it. If you bought it already, buy another copy for a friend.
When I spoke to Dani for the event, I asked her about this. She elaborated:
“[At another event I spoke at] I listed having a best-selling book, having a great review in the New York Times, having a big piece in the New Yorker, being on Oprah. And all of this stuff, essentially saying, “I’m sure that you all think that if all of these things happened to you that you would be completely set.”
“And then I went into what that actually feels like and what the truth of that is, which any writer who’s had any of that kind of success, if they took a truth serum, they would tell you not only that [it gets harder], but its how it should be. Because the writers who get infected with a kind of confidence or a sense that, what they’re doing is actually great, stop making anything that is great. Because there is a seed of, I think that’s really important, of insecurity and anxiety and striving. Feeling like, ”I don’t know if I’m hitting the mark,” in order to keep on striving and get ever closer to hitting the mark.”
“There isn’t one single piece of writing that I have done in the last 20 years that did not begin with my thinking, “Here goes nothing. This time this is not going to work.” Whether it’s a book review, an essay, a blog post, or a book, that feeling of, “I’ve bitten off more than I can chew here.”
“All of language of the inner censor comes roaring to the surface. “I’m not good enough.” “So-and-so did it better.” “What is so-and-so going to think?” “What right do I have?” Shame, vulnerability. “This is stupid.”
“You can go on and on, whatever, pick your poison. And one of the things about the inner censor is, it keeps on shifting, and morphing, and changing throughout a writer’s life. It’s not like you get to identify your inner censor and then, that’s it, you know your inner censor. Because if that were the case, you could get rid of them, right?”
This was the point of the event I ran. To address challenges that stand between you and your craft head on. To not “inspire,” but instead demystify, and in doing so, preparing you to take meaningful action.
If people are out there selling you “easy,” you should be skeptical.
Because it’s difficult to write.
To keep writing.
To publish.
To keep publishing.
To juggle both your responsibilities and your dreams.
And your sense of self with the roles others have for you.
To feel like this is somehow both a natural fit, and a ruthless battle.
Where things fall into place, and you fight for it to be that way.
To seek out ways to better your craft,
While the world piles on thousands of points of advice until your head is spinning.
To find that your greatest achievement.
And your greatest failure.
Can be wrapped up in the single milestone of publishing your work.
I’m a real downer, right? I don’t mean to be. I would simply ask you to do this: invest in two things:
- Your craft. Hours in the chair writing. What I tend to find here is that sharing/publishing your work is an essential part of the discovery process in craft. In other words: just writing alone for 10 years can rob you of keen insights that sharing your work can provide.
- Your support system. This consists of your collaborators (yes, you need collaborators), your mental health (we DO NOT talk about this enough), your physical health, and to double down on connecting with those who already support and love your work. That, instead of running around trying to get more more more readers, you treat the readers you have like they are the most special people on earth. Invest in the people who believe in you, not those who don’t.
I have been obsessing about all of this recently. The event I ran is one of the ways I tried to explore it. Another is a new series of blog posts that my friend Miranda Beverly-Whittemore and I just launched. It has a similar ethos in mind. For that, we are focusing on the reality of an author’s role in publicity and marketing for their book.
This, of course, comes after craft and your support system.
Here is the first post, nearly 4,000 words on everything Miranda wishes she knew 5 months before she published her first novel.
We are now a few weeks into the new year, which is the point at which new year’s resolutions veer off the rails.
In 11 months, all of us will be saying, “WOW, where did that year go?!” When considering how you improve your craft and your support system, I encourage you to take clear actions right now.
Today.
Because this is the thing none of us want to admit: we don’t want yet another year to go by without realizing the work that matters most to us.
Blink and it will be December 31.
And it takes every ounce of courage to fight that. Not by slowing down time, but by looking in the mirror and investing in what you see.
If you are waiting for “easy,” don’t. Because it won’t get easier. This is what Dani shows me. What Miranda shows me. What Steven Pressfield shows me. What Twyla Tharp shows me. What Anne Lamott shows me. What David Bayles and Ted Orland show me. What Jocelyn K. Glei shows me. What Hugh Howey shows me. What Amanda Palmer shows me.
This is not meant to be a weight. A bummer. It is instead, meant to provide clarity and fuel. To create what matters most to you.
If, in 11 months, there is one thing that you want to say you accomplished this year, what would it be?
-Dan
Dan Blank is the founder of WeGrowMedia, where he helps writers share their stories and connect with readers. He has helped hundreds of authors via online courses, events, consulting, and workshops, and worked with amazing publishing houses and organizations who support writers such as Random House, Workman Publishing, Abrams Books, Writers House, The Kenyon Review, Writer’s Digest, Library Journal, and many others.
My non-fiction book is morphing into fiction. It’s a bit intimidating, and that’s what I will overcome this year. I will navigate the transition and get it done!
Thank you Mia!
A year ago, it would have been “to write and indie-publish” four YA novels. And I did it! Be careful what you achieve. Now that the reality of the difficulties of indie publishing have set in, my goal this year is to write two novels and land an agent. Not that the indie experiment was a failure, but there’s obviously more to this puzzle than just “write like hell and get a bunch of stuff up on Amazon.”
I began the process by finally joining SCBWI this weekend and attending a small conference in Lansing (excellent job by the Capitol City Writers). The ever so slow process of networking, looking for critique partners, and, of course, learning more about my craft has begun anew.
By the way, what you say here applies to all walks of life. I’m an engineer by day, and I am often heard to say, “My long-term goal is to retire before anyone figures out that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”
I need to put that on a bumper sticker.
Look out agents. I’m on the hunt.
Thank you Ron! Fascinating to hear about how your focus evolves.
-Dan
My long-term goal is to retire before anyone figures out that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”
Love this, Ron. And good luck with your shift to traditional!
Great minds think alike! How incredibly timely this post is – I’ve just written about my plans for this year, how I want a revolution in my attitude and brain, rather than a New Year’s resolution. I’m only at the beginning of the journey, but it’s a long-term shift and I’d better buckle down to it. Thanks for reminding me!
Thank you Marina!
Dan, I found what you said here heartening . I’ve been experiencing the ‘hard’. After getting positive feedback on a good chapter or piece, I get slammed with the feeling that whatever I knew when I wrote that good thing has somehow evaporated out of my head. It’s a relief to hear you talk about it here. So in 11 months, I’d like to become the writer who is okay sitting down every day with a beginner’s mind, but with a veteran’s discipline to do the work. I’d also like to raise my head in Dec. and realize that I’ve made my novel ready to fly.
Love that — thank you Susan!
-Dan
Susan, so smart: …”sitting down with a beginner’s mind, but with a veteran’s discipline to do the work.” That sums it up for me too. And thank you Dan, as always!
Hard work doesn’t mean the work’s not enjoyable. It just means we need adequate rest. I understand why authors like Stephen King only write in the mornings. It takes a lot out of you, and you need the rest of the day to recoup! Or tend to the business side. (I so admire people who write *and* have a day job.)
Thanks for the link to the post. My favorite part — Thank You’s are Gold.
Thank you so much!
I had an essay here on WU a while back in which I wrote about getting to New Year’s Day only to look back to realize I’d thought that the prior year would be the one that at least would start my publication process (landing an agent, selling to a pub house, etc.). I think I’ve finally gotten over it. I didn’t have the thought 25 days ago.
Here’s the thing – I was finally utterly focused on making the manuscript I’m revising the best it can be. And a weird thing has been happening. I’m finding that my close writing friends – those who best know the state of my progress – are wishing it for me. They think this might be my year.
So here’s my sincere wish for ’16: That I keep that level of focus on this project, that I find a point where I feel I’ve succeeded, that I release it to the world, and that I am able to start a new one once I’ve let it go (with none of the half-focus and back-glancing I’ve typically done in those situations).
Thanks for a wonderful post, and the self-recognition you provided for me, Dan!
Vaughn, that was me every year for the longest time. Re-focusing on the work was, as you say, the absolute best thing I could do. Sometimes I forget and my eyes/mind stray back to the business side of things… but then there are posts (and comments) like this to help me back to the page.
Thanks!
Thanks Vaughn!
-Dan
I want to get my relationship with God and my husband more solid – which I realize is hard to quantify – but I know this is truly the most important and needful thing in my life.
Creative work wise, I want to finish my third book on time for my publisher (due end of March) and have book #4 ready to send in by the end of next November – if not sooner.
I want to improve with this: “That, instead of running around trying to get more more more readers, you treat the readers you have like they are the most special people on earth. Invest in the people who believe in you, not those who don’t.”
I realize that’s three things, not one thing, but they are all very important to me.
Thank you Pearl!
-Dan
This year I want to confront and go deep into my darkest fear of fears. I want explore this fear with a detailed intensity as I rewrite my WIP. And when I am done, if this doesn’t kill me, I want to stand and breathe for a moment, to look back with a new found courage, and truly understand that life isn’t always about moving forward, it’s about the new here and now. I aim to learn and conquer this year.
Wow – love this! Thank you Bernadette!
-Dan
Dan, thanks so much for this great post, which is full of kindness and wisdom. I read Miranda’s post earlier and appreciated that as well. These messages — of awareness, self-care, and urgent and realistic encouragement — are exactly the sort of thing I always seem to need.
Thank you Kristan!
Hi Dan, My hope is to get an agent. I have toiled for a long time to learn my craft and get my manuscript ready. Writing is so plastic and changeable, and I’d be willing to make more changes! I do enjoy the work, but after a while one feels like moving from one level of the endeavor to another. Here’s to hard work and making that happen.
Thanks Beth!
Dan, when I was a newbie writer, I listened to a veteran writer who said it never gets easy. Each book has something new to teach you, and you are forever juggling various responsibilities at every stage of your career. In fact, she encouraged us to enjoy the pre-published time, when we get to write without the pressures of being an author.
Your advice on self-care is spot on. This year, I am taking better care of myself and with it I hope have more energy to write. Haven’t committed to a new project yet but the ideas are bubbling into my notebook.
I really like that — thank you Vijaya!
-Dan
In 11 months I’d love to see my relationships with fans double, if not triple. By that I don’t mean gaining more readers. I already have about 200 people who have supported my work. But only about 30 of them are people who have gone from supporters to collaborators and promoters. I’d like to continue to work on ways to engage my audience and work more together with the community that’s slowly growing around my work. I’d also like to continue to better understand who my fans are and the dimensions of what it means to involve them in what I’m doing. I’m right on board with you, Dan, about turning to fans and focusing inward, versus focusing outward. The power of community is not only immense, it’s also sustaining, which, I find, feeds my creative energy and pushes it much further than otherwise.
John,
Thank you — I really like how you describe this.
-Dan
Thanks for the tips Dan. Not a professional writer (hunter and outdoorsman actually), but just started blogging and hoping your blog will provide us with some inspiration.
Thank you Zach!
Thank you, Dan. No matter how instinctively I know, and no matter how many times I hear or read of the furious spinning in the head that comes with writing, I soon forget. So it always helps to be reminded I’m not alone in this experience.
The only solution I’ve found is writing. When I’m writing, I can shut down those voices, and silence the sensors.
Here’s hoping you – and all of us – accomplish our goals this year. That we don’t lose sight of the end point.
Go team! ;)
Thank you John!
-Dan
Dan, the hope over which I, at this point, have little control is that my book which just went out on submission will sell. The hope over which I do have control is that I will be able to revise my next MS to my satisfaction (and that it will be to my agent’s satisfaction as well. I also want to get some scenes written of a third and keep up a decent pace of researching a fourth. Go big or go home. ;)
Good luck Erin!
-Dan
Inspiring, Dan. I was especially struck by…
“Because the writers who get infected with a kind of confidence or a sense that, what they’re doing is actually great, stop making anything that is great.”
As an agent, I can attest that this is true. I’ve known several writers who swallowed their own mythos, and one or two who ran on fumes, hardly producing anything worthwhile, for decades. Not naming names but this is an actual danger.
The biggest distraction can be yourself. So of course can be social media, trunk projects that sap mental energy, and even one’s own fears, which can become a highly secure place to hide.
Don’t lose focus, don’t buy that any distraction is bigger than you or is preventing you from writing or finishing. Just not true. Nice one, Dan, wish I had been at the event.
Wow – thank you Don. LOVED this: “one’s own fears, which can become a highly secure place to hide.”
That is huge.
Very much appreciated.
-Dan
This really is very powerful. I think if we could only choose two things to invest in, your craft and your support system are the best possible choices. Wise advice. Great post.
Thank you Annie!
Thanks for posting, Dan! This was very timely for me. I’m just getting back to work on the fifth novel in my mystery series after a hiatus that has lasted longer than it needed to. My life was disrupted at the end of October by my husband’s health issues, and although he’s well on the road to recovery, I’ve had trouble getting back to my previous work schedule.
I did think that after four novels it would get easier to focus on my writing. Now I know I’m not the only one!
Ruth
Thank you!
I’m thinking that “inner sensor” in the Shapiro quote is probably supposed to be the “inner censor”?
YES! Fixing now. Thanks!
-Dan
I needed to hear this today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, and… Thanks, Dan!
That I overcame the distractions and challenges and new censors that have come with being published, and wrote another book, met another deadline, and did my best. Raised the bar a little bit, in some way.
Thank you, thank you, for this post Dan.