Butt In Chair: A Cautionary Tale
By Robin LaFevers | February 13, 2015 |
photo by Alice Popkorn
This is not the way I planned to do this. My idea was to simply slink quietly away for a few months, then just as quietly return to my monthly posting. But the Blog Mama decided a different approach was in order, and so here I am, announcing that I will be taking a temporary leave of absence from Writer Unboxed. Talking about it like this feels a wee bit personal, like I am oversharing or burdening you with TMI. But perhaps, instead, it can be a cautionary tale that will help keep you from following down a similar path. Let’s call it that, shall we? Or else I’ll never be able to hit the post button…
The truth is, it has been an amazing three years since I first posted on WU. They have been richer and fuller and brought more exhilarating experiences than I could ever have imagined. But they have also been demanding and exhausting in ways I never anticipated. I have talked before about how, although I consider myself a prolific writer, the deadlines for the assassin trilogy have been hard for me. It has been one grueling deadline after another for the last three years. Coupled with the fact that I had been on deadline nearly continuously for the three years PRIOR to that as I juggled two middle grade series. And while all of that has been hard on my muse, it has been even harder on my physical self. The truth is, all that butt-in-chair has driven my body into the ground and I have a number of ergonomic issues that are demanding my attention. They go far beyond remembering to wear my wrist guards to bed and do a few sets of crunches each morning.
This is not something I’m proud of. It makes me feel weak and stupid—weak for my body not holding up under the demands I made of it, and stupid for not having foreseen this and headed it off.
I know there are many, many writers who struggle with ergonomic issues and other physical hardships daily and still manage to produce lots of words and great work. But apparently I am not one of those writers. And maybe, just maybe, that’s part of this whole acquiring wisdom thing—learning where one’s own limits are and how to accept them.
I also suspect it is more than simply ergonomics at this point.
I have never been a very physical or coordinated person and have always lived very much in my head. While this has worked very well for my writing career, it has been far less successful as a road map to physical vitality. And now my body is fed up with that arrangement and is insisting on its turn.
I have talked before about how writing requires little discipline from me because it is almost always my first choice activity. Next to spending time with those I love, I adore writing more than just about anything else on this earth and I’m not willing to let anything take that love of writing away—especially not physical pain.
The warm, wise, and brilliant Susan Elizabeth Phillips often says in her workshops that we writers must protect the work. Of course, that protection can take many forms: not showing it to someone too soon, not allowing our self-doubt to get the upper hand, not sharing it with overzealous critique partners. But for me, right now, protecting the work means not producing any words for a while and focusing solely on physical therapy and rehab and getting my body back to being a functioning entity. It means getting physically strong again so I don’t have to associate writing with pain. It means stepping back from the internet in a big way, FB, blogging, Tumblr, even just general research and reading, and living more fully in the physical world while my body recovers.
I suspect it will do my mind—and my muse—a world of good, as well.
What about you? What have been some of your greatest physical challenges about maintaining a regular writing schedule? What are some of the best ergonomic tips and strategies that you’ve employed?
Robin LaFevers is the author of seventeen books for young readers, including the HIS FAIR ASSASSIN trilogy about teen assassin nuns in medieval France and the upcoming COURTING DARKNESS. A lifelong introvert, she currently lives on a blissfully quiet hill in Southern California.
Hi Robin
Thanks for being so open about your reasons for taking a break from your passion of writing. I’ve had my fair share of back and neck problems over the years, and have had to seek out the right physiotherapist and, finally, a gifted cranio/sacral therapist to help me. Good luck with your remedial journey.
I herniated a disc this past fall – for 3 months it felt like someone had poured gasoline down my arm and lit me on fire, while simultaneously slicing through the back of my neck with those giant slicing things that come out of the walls in the Indiana Jones movie. Add to that the complete loss of fine motor skills in my right (and writing) hand and I couldn’t write for months. Even when the pain would subside, all of my energy had gone to avoiding pain and there was nothing left inside me.
I finally found a doctor who had a solution other than drugs which didn’t work anyway, and when I could write again it was a like a damn broke and my book has flown along since then.
I am however very mindful that it could happen again if I don’t take care of my body. I make sure to walk on the treadmill for at least an hour a day. While I wait for my tea to brew, I use the therabands my PT gave me to strengthen my arms. I do squats while waiting for water to boil for dinner. I lie on my bolster to stretch out my chest and shoulders.
When I was injured, I realized that my body supports everything that I love to do, and when it isn’t working, everything else screeches to a halt until I fix it.
Good luck with your recovery.
Robin–
Who wouldn’t wish you well on your sabbatical? I certainly do. To read what’s come to pass for you in physical terms–living on “a blissfully quiet hill in Southern California”–is truly to read a cautionary tale, courtesy of a successful writer in our time.
My next-door neighbor is also a successful writer, of historical romance. When she complains over the fence about flogging herself to meet another deadline in her multi-book contract, I can tell she really is feeling the pressure. I smile and offer sympathy. All the while, of course, I am envying her for being wanted, for some editor pounding the table and demanding to see the next chapters of her new book.
But she looks haggard. And she, too, is contending with quite a few physical problems. When I consider her “drill” in relation to your post today, I can’t help wondering: where’s the joy for her, the pleasure and freedom I associate with writing?
I’m sure there’s a great deal of it for her, and for you. The pleasures of writing are private and hard to share. All the same, life as a writer on some gerbil exercise wheel made up of deadlines is not all that appealing.
Contributors to this site and elsewhere are given to sternly reminding us that it’s necessary to think of ourselves as business people. Get that butt in the chair, tote up that word count, pump out multiple titles a year, buy yourself a standup desk if necessary, but keep the pressure on, the coffee and adrenaline flowing, because you’re actually a hard-charging CEO in scribbler’s clothing, etc.
But I’m wondering: does the cost-benefit ratio of such a life actually add up?
Oh, Robin, I am so glad Therese didn’t let you slink away. It’s funny, readers have a personal relationship with books and now we live in an age where we interact with the authors, and as my kids and I talking about this, how much we love their humanity. They are people too, not living in some ivory tower, dictating books to their minions but struggling like the rest of us. They see it first hand with their own mother. I used to hide the fact that I had chronic migraines. I was ashamed. Now, I am honest.
Btw, I fell the night before Storymasters workshop. Hurt my writing hand among other body parts. I went to the doc (after the workshop, of course), got x-rays and nothing is broken, thank God. but the Dr. put me in a brace that immobilizes the hand. So I can type (slowly) but not write. I’m doing a lot more reading. Seems that it is time for me to shut up and read and pray. Oh, yeah, the dishwasher is broken too! That’s when I ditch the brace and roll up my sleeves. Washing dishes is actually very meditative.
Take care of yourself, Robin. You have the right attitude. You are not a machine. You are body and soul. I am praying for a return to your whole health, both in body, mind and spirit. Slainte.
Yep. Definitely.
Almost no writing, editing, or marketing done for the last four months.
While I have physical limitations in my shoulders, hips, and more. This was serious.
If I want to keep writing, editing, and publishing, I had to learn how to live blind. How to use screen readers, how to read braille, and how to walk with a blind cane, as well as a mobility cane.
So now, back to reading, writing, editing, and publishing, using what vision I have left as long as I can, and being ready to use extra devices as needed, some only a few hours each day at the moment.
Rest and recover during your break.
Work-aholicism should never be a goal in an career. I made that mistake when I was younger. It was the man reason I couldn’t work very long. After a few months, I’d be physically unable to move for weeks at a time. We shouldn’t put that kind of pressure on ourselves, or others. Not even machines could work like that for very long without having to be replaced.
Take care. I’ll read your posts when you return! Or have them to read to me by a screen reader.
I, too, had this problem. It sent me to the doctor then the chiropractor. After x-rays and determining I have a straight neck (a hereditary problem) my husband began to look at chairs for me to writ in, instead of sitting gat a desk. He found this one. https://www.wayfair.com/Mac-Motion-58-Oslo-Series-Leather-Ergonomic-Recliner-and-Ottoman-58-L03-24-103-ZY1047.html
It’s from Wayfair, and wait for a sale if you can. It’s not cheap. BUT…the from the first day I sat in it, my back cleared up! Hope you find as quick a solution.
I also am glad Therese didn’t let you slink away. I do think many of us battle the results of many hours of BIC, and your honest revelation of the warnings your body gave you resonate with me. Best wishes that your time away will be restorative.
First off, I’d like to thank you, for digging deep, month after month in this space – offering up so much of yourself for the betterment of other writers’ journeys. It’s a special gift, one I appreciate so much.
Second, wishing you peace and healing, body and spirit, in the months ahead. Glad you seem so self-aware.
Ironically, it was my deteriorating body that gave me the nudge to devote more of myself to writing. When I started, I was spending 80% of my time on carpentry and 20 on writing. Radial tunnel syndrome abruptly put the brakes on my heavy lifting in Oct. of ’08. It’s no coincidence that I finished my first full draft, on a manuscript I’d been dabbling at for years, in June of ’09. I still struggle with my shoulders and arms, and hence my neck. But I know I couldn’t do what I’d been doing. And I’m past the point in my life of wanting to deal with employees. So writing has been a blessing to my physical well-being, as well as my mental and spiritual health. It *can* work both ways.
Best wishes to you, Robin! Please do come back, as soon and as often as possible.
Best of luck and healing to you Robin. I have often deplored the fact that I find it hard to sit for too long and, when not absolutely in the throes of inspiration, have to rise to stretch or shake out the kinks. I hate the interruptions! Still, the vehicle must be maintained! Hope you now achieve some balance between your physical needs and dedication to your craft. And maybe find new fuel in reconnecting with your body. Perhaps long walks on that blissfully quiet California hill will usher in a new harmony. Thank you for all you have given in this space.
Robin, I was surprised by my reaction to your announcement. I feel as if I know you. You have become a role model for me, someone whose wisdom I look forward to every month. You’ve always given me a boost when I needed it. And now you’re going away! But really, I have mixed emotions. I applaud you for taking care of yourself, and for reminding me to do the same. Life gets nuts sometimes, and in my effort to protect my writing time from being chipped away at, I can easily eat, sleep and rest too little. About 12 years ago I started practicing yoga, and I believe it has saved my ass. ‘Restorative yoga’ is a wonderful thing, no Gumby moves required. I wish you well and look forward to seeing you here on the other end of your healing.
Robin, I am so sorry this is happening to you! I suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome (left wrist) and left my wrist brace at a friend’s last night. I will be reunited with it tonight.
When you are able to return to your first love, please consider installing Dragon Naturally Speaking on your computer(s). When you can’t type, you can speak. You will have to correct the typos your computer makes, but it’s a lot less stressful than typing 5K words.
While you’re away, please enjoy time with loved ones. Read. Get out there and walk. Drink hot chai tea. Try to make your sabbatical as enjoyable as you can.
“And maybe, just maybe, that’s part of this whole acquiring wisdom thing—learning where one’s own limits are and how to accept them.”
Thank you for saying this.
All too often in our hard-driving, Type-A society everyone is so busy pushing their limits and getting out of their comfort zones that we damage ourselves in the process. And, at the same time, we’re bombarded with messages from all sorts of places that any of our reasons to slow down or back off a bit are just – excuses. We end up burned out and, yes, often physically hurt and then feel like excuse making failures on top of it.
Thank you for this post. Thank you for your courage to say “enough” and hold your head high while saying it.
I’m going to try to take this to heart, as finding time to exercise is not one of my favorite things. I really didn’t intend to be sedentary, it’s just that almost everything I enjoy doing and am good at is usually done sitting down. I need to start getting my butt out of my chair on a regular schedule and find some strength building, flexibility enhancing exercises to do that won’t hurt me while learning how to do them. ;-)
Blessings to you while you take time to heal yourself. And, yes, I think your muse will enjoy it too. :-)
Pearl,
I am the same way. I must find ways to be less sedentary. The things I enjoy almost always include sitting down. I went through bilateral carpal tunnel surgery eight years ago and now experience identical symptoms once again. Life as a medical transcriptionist, writing, and way too much FB time have not been kind to me. Maybe we will all take these warnings to heart and become physically healthier.
First thank you for all the inspiration you have given to writers over the time you have contributed to WU. I don’t visit here as often as some others, but I do try to catch up on posts when I do come by.
I think neck/back issues are a problem with most writers who spend hours at the computer. I have learned to take a break every hour to do some stretches and walk around. I hate that it interrupts the flow of what I’m working on, but I have found it vital the older my body gets. You notice I didn’t say the older I get. Inside I’m still 39, outside… well…
I noticed that you had gardening tools in your graphic for the post. I do hope you plan lots of outside activities like that in your rehab. Once when I was recovering from a major surgery that left me with lots of pain issues, my wonderful country doctor encouraged me to go work in my garden as much as I could. He was a firm believer that there is something healing in getting our hands dirty. Even after all these years I can still hear him say, “Go out and dig deep into mother earth.”
Robin,
I hope your recovery is speedy.
Christine
I’m so sorry for your struggles, Robin. Wishing you renewed strength, vitality and health.
Robin, since your posts have been critical to healing some of the emotional barriers I’ve had with writing and disappointment and trusting my voice and my vision, I can only say thank you, I will miss your posts here, and wish you the best for your physical healing.
I’m just selfish enough that I only feel a tiny bit guilty for loving the assassins books that have brought you to this point :-)
As far as physical activity, I do what is fun for me, because I know I’ll do it more often than something that’s a drag, which, for me, is walking and dance class. But when there’s no dance class and it’s as cold as Siberia outside, my body suffers and my writing suffers. And I don’t always have the discipline to choose other activities. But I try.
The encouragement I have for you is to remember the story of the tortoise and the hare. In your journey to address your ergonomic and physical issues, you will be the tortoise, not the hare. As much as we like to daydream about being the hare…nope. <3
Robin, do take care of yourself. Physical well-being definitely contributes to the Muse! I am thankfully free of back and neck issues, but the carpal tunnel was HORRIBLE until I started using a Wacom Tablet. I no longer even own a mouse. The natural position of the hand is NOT wrist down (as on the keyboard and mouse) it is having the side of the hand, between the pinky and wrist, on the surface of the desk. An ergonomic keyboard helps, but the Wacom is the savior for me.
Heal gently, and pay attention to your body!
Peggy
Robin — your posts are always terrific. Thanks for the reminder to take care of ourselves. Wishing you a healing break — and a return to writing, if not blogging, stronger than ever!
Robin,
Thank you for this post.
As a young adult (mid-twenties) who grew up with a laptop, and whose primary hobby is writing (with a primary job of scientific research on the computer), I was surprised the first time I heard about health issues resulting from sitting and typing for too long. Up until recently, I didn’t know things like repetitive strain injuries existed. I had no idea I was doing anything poorly until I started having wrist pain. I’ve always been an outdoors person, which actually makes it difficult for me to sit still, which was part of the reason why I was surprised when my wrist starting hurting, since I had always made a point of being active.
Now I have an ergonomic chair (with armrests for when I’m not typing and excellent lumbar support), an ergonomic keyboard that sits on a pull-out shelf below my computer, as well as a trackball mouse (love it!). I also sit by a window when I work, so that whenever my eyes start to get tired, I can look out at the trees. As others mentioned, stretching out every hour or so is fabulous. I enjoy reading poetry out loud while stretching my legs, and do a short yoga session in the afternoons.
I’m so glad that you’re taking time to heal. It’s so rare for me to hear/read an author speak/write about maintaining physical health. Thanks for reminding all of us how important this is!
Robin, I’m reminded of the airline brochures that instruct parents to ALWAYS put their oxygen masks and other emergency supplies on first, THEN attend to the children. Cause if you can’t take care of yourself first, then you certainly can’t help the children. Your response is a sane and compassionate one and (also) reminds me of something I just posted today: “Screw ‘Write or Die’ – Instead, write and live.”
Thanks for setting setting a wonderful example. Embodiment is a critical skill that writers should be encouraged to practice, in recovery and health.
Sharing!
Robin-
I’m sitting at my desk at work, my dark roast half gone, the overhead light buzzing, construction noise from across the street not quite filling the silence around me.
I’m gutted. I understand but I’m gutted. The Buddha is leaving us. She must. It is necessary. We will be fine, of course. Thanks to her we are strong. We are serene. We are humbly walking the path.
But oh…
I feel like lighting a candle on my desk. Take good care of yourself, Robin. We’ll know you are when we read your next novel. We’ll feel your presence here every day. We’ll live in hope of your return.
Thank you.
Thanks for sharing this Robin. We really do use our bodies to write and taking care of them can be a constantly shifting responsibility. The two things that have helped me the most are having a standing desk (https://amyrogershays.com/2014/11/15/making-using-standing-desk/) and doing an elimination diet to figure out what was causing all the inflammation, headaches, and chronic infections (https://amyrogershays.com/2013/07/30/an-elimination-diet-figure-out-what-foods-are-making-you-sick/). I hope that you are really able to rest on your time away! Thanks for all the work you do.
This post isn’t remotely TMI and I do hope you can ditch the sense of shame, though I understand it. I’ll pass on the words of wisdom my psychologist said to me when it was my physical being which insisted that I take a break from medicine–a situation which shattered my illusion of control, and which I greeted with anger. “Jan, your body is your friend.”
Who knows what will come during a forced period of healing? Maybe you’ll discover the book of your heart. Maybe you’ll decide to ditch social media for good. Maybe you’ll get clarity on your larger life and decide to grow mangoes in Mexico.
Whatever the case, for however long your absence, you’ll be missed, I promise you that, if only by this needful writer! Take care of yourself.
hi Robin,
As one of the more loyal trolls to your site. Let me say, Kudos! Although I don’t share your notability, I do share in your pain. My back hurts so bad that I work with a hot pad constantly on, and my eighteen year old says that I’m burning my back with it. I’ve also got a torn rotator cuff on my right arm, and of course, I’m right handed. That causes my right shoulder to freeze at times. Trying typing with that! Not to mention eye strain, headaches, and a pain in my neck that I’ve nicknamed “mouse shoulder.”
I’m also a grad student. I’ve gotta work on plan B to sustain my little family. But working constantly in a seated position has a price. I gained weight, and not just a little. So I thought I had this great idea to write a fitness blog…. Right? So far, it seems wrong, because right away I got sick, and it knocked me down for a month. I’m still trying to crawl out of it, and now my few but faithful readers know all about it.
Sometimes it’s hard to remember as writers that we’re not super-heroes of our own lives. So I applaud you for recognizing that if you don’t take of you, everything will stop. I actually want to give you a hug! Good for you!
Blessings,
Laurie Epps
Great for you! Thank you for sharing. I’ve had some ergonomic pain in the past and have just purchased a standing desk (one that goes on top of my regular desk) for breaks from “Butt” in chair position. I’m doing anything I can to vary my physical environment while still trying to focus on the work. My current issue is my eyes, and I have an appointment with my ophthalmologist coming up to discuss that. I’m not so sure all this screen work is good for the human eye. In addition, chronic neck problems have sent me to physical therapy. I’m proud of you for taking the time off and proud of you for writing about it. Can’t wait to hear how it all worked out.
Robin, echoing what Vaughn said, your posts often dig deep, and come up with the real ore, not just something shiny. Thank you for the honest words written with a writer’s heart.
Breathe easy, rest up, hear the sounds of winsome words, come back dancing.
From someone else whose butt is in a chair far far longer than is healthy on daily basis–best wishes on your journey, seek out the physical activities that you enjoy, and Thank You for facing this so that you can remain strong and healthy and a WU contributor for many many many more years.
Robin,
yes, a timely reminder to be attentive to our bodies. Gardening season is coming up soon right? (Coming from a body who lives in the great north, although, not the northeast!)
I have enjoyed your columns here and wish you speedy, healthy, enjoyable recovery time.
Robin, I wish you all good things during this time away. When you come back, I hope you will let us know what helped you, what didn’t, and how you managed it all.
I developed what I call “office butt” years ago, when I worked for a bank. After sitting in my office chair for hours, I found everything from my lower back down to the backs of my thighs aching and almost numb. I then began standing to stretch and perform squats, while still at my desk. It looked silly to some people, until they realized it could help them, too. While working for an engineering company some years back, the condition became particularly acute and forced me to stand or squat in front of my desk. I could still manage to tap away on my keyboard. The same problem has arisen here at home where I – again – stand to stretch and perform squats. There’s a leg press machine at my gym that provides a great deal of relief to the backs of my thighs; it also helps to ward off future flare-ups of “office butt.” I often lay face down on a couch, while watching TV, with an ice pack on the backs of either thigh.
I wish the best in your recovery, Robin. Back pain is a serious condition and deserves your full attention. Just don’t stop writing!
I can relate…Ever since having our fist child over three years ago, I’ve had a perpetual black ache. My day job is in IT so I sit a lot, and then I come home and spend the evening bending down, picking things up, dodging around toys, and everything else.
Pretty much all I can recommend is sit with proper posture, do regular stretches, and don’t twist. Ice at night and a hot shower in the morning help too.
Back pain can suck your soul away. Hope you can recover quickly.
Wow! I so admire your work ethic. Take care of yourself!
Butt in chair is great for writing but brutal on the body.
I don’t know if this helps anyone…or maybe you will all think I’m certifiably insane…I roll out of bed long before the sun comes up and I alternatively walk and jog at least four days a week for an hour or more. I’m talking four in the morning. Then I shower and go back to bed for an hour or two when every other member of the house gets up.
My husband and grown up kids shake their head and tell me I’m not normal. But here’s the thing…when I get up I’m fresh, my exercise is done and I can get on with the days work and not feel guilty because I’m not moving enough.
And I am very honest with myself. I might say…I will walk an hour an afternoon as per Stephen King…but the reality is I don’t. I have other responsibilities…buying food, dinner, bringing in the washing.
Big hugs Robin.
Please get well soon, Robin. With luck you will be back to writing in no time. :)
Robin, thank you for sharing – and reminding us that even popular, successful writers take time to care for themselves. Wishing you well with your recovery and hope it’s full of new insights, lightness and fun. See ya soon.
Take all the time you need so you can come back to us! Theodosia is one of my favorite girls; I know there are more like her coming our way, when they are ready.
When you feel strong again, Robin, come back to us. We’ll embrace you with open arms.
Dee Willson
Author of A Keeper’s Truth and GOT
Robin, I’m late to the farewell party, but I just wanted to add myself to the list of people who’ve found your writing so helpful over the years. I followed you here from Shrinking Violets, and I’ve never left–which means you’ve introduced me to some pretty great folks here at WU, too. Thank you.
Thanks for reminding me of the importance of taking care of the body, so I can take care of business! I love my Balans chair, it keeps me mobile and upright:
https://www.varierfurniture.com/en_us/
When I was working at the kitchen table, I impinged a nerve somehow and couldn’t use one of my arms for days. The right furniture is so worth it!