Do You Have The Clarity To Celebrate Success?
By Dan Blank | December 16, 2014 |
Image by Ram Reddy
Clarity of your own focus.
Clarity of voice.
Clarity of timing.
Clarity of who you want to reach.
Clarity of what resonates with these people.
Clarity of matching their need to the value you offer.
Clarity of what you should focus on, and what you can let go.
Clarity around what matters to you day to day.
Clarity of long-term goals that you reach slowly.
You’ll have no trouble finding “best practices,” marketing tips, social media tricks, and ideas around “gaming” Amazon. All of these things are simply fancy ways to package clarity. Tricks to lead you to believe clarity is a secret formula – one that others know, and you don’t. But it’s not: clarity is a process.
What I find ironic is how clarity is the antithesis of the feeling of overwhelm that so many writers and creative professionals experience.
I have been teaching a brand new course this fall filled with creative professionals trying to battle overwhelm and bring their career to the next level. They seek to find a sense of clarity in all they do, even as they juggle work, family, their creative pursuits, health, and so many other obligations.
In a recent lesson, I talked about the value of celebrating success. What I learned in the course discussions was astounding. So many people who venture out on their own as creative professionals rarely celebrate success. When they do, it is often only for huge milestones that come around only every few months or years, and even then, the celebration is a bit random. Most people have no system in place for recognizing and celebrating their achievements.
Their lives become a haphazard amalgamation of pressure, constructed from all of their responsibilities, while never truly stopping the churn to recognize what they have accomplished in the process. Clarity is critical for battling overwhelm, and for establishing a healthy relationship with all of our many responsibilities.
One writer in the course commented: “My moment of clarity came when I realized celebrating success doesn’t mean I’m a hedonist.” What I took from this is that there are so many internal boundaries around the basic task of taking care of oneself, and of recognizing one’s own achievements.
That isn’t to say no one in the course celebrates success; plenty do and shared some wonderful ways to do so. The challenge I posited was: How do you celebrate success on a daily or weekly basis? This timeframe was surprising to some — those who would only celebrate success on huge occasions, such as finishing an entire manuscript.
That is far too infrequently.
My favorite way to celebrate success came from Laura Brennan in the course:
“We have a fun and easy way to celebrate in our house: it’s called The Plate of Accomplishment. In going through my mom’s stuff, I found one lone, gorgeous dinner plate – shimmery, just lovely. So when one of us has an accomplishment to celebrate, they get to eat dinner on that plate. It comes out with much fanfare (a mini-parade, actually) and a song: “It is the Plate of Accomplishment, it is the Great Great Plate of Accomplishment…”
So often, we are good at recognizing the value of others, and we find it easy to encourage them to recognize their talent, beauty or value. Yet many of us struggle to do this for ourselves. It is not for lack of ego – I think that is a slightly different thing. For instance, consider the woman who knows that she is hard-working, professional, and doing great work – perhaps work that others don’t appreciate. Her ego is just fine.
Yet, how often does she take a long lunch break at a nice restaurant by herself to recognize a successful week? How often does she just close down email for the day earlier than usual, and not pick it up until lunchtime the next day – a pause to focus on her own needs? How often does she stop on any given day to recognize what she DID accomplish on her to-do list that day instead of what she didn’t? (My friend Cali Yost has a lot to say on this in her book Tweak It: Make What Matters to You Happen Every Day. Worth the read.)
REFLECTING & PLANNING
This year, what did you do? This is a question I stop and ask myself in the last quarter of every year. From September – December I spend a lot of time reflecting on the year behind me and the year ahead. I usually take a better part of December OFF in order to go back to the well. To go back and find clarity of what I hope to accomplish, the actions that led me there, and the areas where I need to grow.
It is so easy to skip this. I was talking to my friend Gabriela Pereira the other day, who seemed to hit a number of great milestones with her business this year. She mentioned how she remembered me talking about my December ritual and is doing that herself this year. As I reflected on this, I considered what had to come into place that would allow her to truly take the time stop and reflect, breathe, and look ahead.
My entire process is about clarity. Of recognizing the passage of time, my long-term goals, and the short-term goals I need to take to reach them. It is about integrating new wisdom into my daily rituals, and on setting intentions for the next year.
For me, January 1 is not filled with vague resolutions, it is filled with a clear sense of purpose, and ideally: momentum. My goal for January 1 is one thing: clarity.
How do you recognize your accomplishments every day and every week?
Thanks.
-Dan
Dan Blank is the founder of WeGrowMedia, where he helps writers share their stories and connect with readers. He has helped hundreds of authors via online courses, events, consulting, and workshops, and worked with amazing publishing houses and organizations who support writers such as Random House, Workman Publishing, Abrams Books, Writers House, The Kenyon Review, Writer’s Digest, Library Journal, and many others.
Thank you, Dan for reminding us all to take time to celebrate the little things and also to take time for ourselves. This was a post that I definitely needed to read today!
Thank you Doris!
-Dan
I love this focus, and I really enjoy watching you live and grow it, Dan.
My own blog posts in last month have focused on defining a Good Day.
Various writer friends have done guest posts, each of them elucidating the subject a little more.
As you focus on clarity for the year, I am sure you recognize the process is actually one of minutes and hours and days.
The simplest act of starting the day by listing things to be done that all take me a little closer to my mission in life does wonders. I love checking off the tasks. If I feel progress in the right direction, I keep Overwhelm at bay a little longer.
Thank you Shirley, and I love the focus on the small things – the hours, the days.
-Dan
I enjoy specific goals but only for the sake of focus–I guess that would be the clarity principle you mention. It is interesting how not all specific goals are clear: “I’m going to crank out x-thousand words today” can lead to burnout and loss of focus; it’s not about the words but about the story behind them. “I’m going to finish novel z by April and have it ready to publish by October” can lead to disappointment; completion can sometimes be an asymptote, and seasoned writers learn the patience of saints. Once again, no focus, since instead the obsession shifts to the end, rather than the journey and the numerous nuggets of gold still to be found.
On the other hand, lack of any goal whatsoever can lead to just as much mischief. “I’ll just write each day a little” is much freer, but where is the measure of success? Doubt can easily creep in. “I’m going to take years and who cares” is noble, but what exactly are you going to do each year? Each month? Each day? Does it really have to take seven?
I’m careful with my goals. I like to first of all appreciate the present, the vector of time that led me to it, and the vague bubble of potential extending forward. I love your Sept-Dec assessment. For me, that’s a great celebration: I have begun a new book and am now at ms page 88. Week by week, attaining that goal has involved writing 10 pages, as well as revising whatever I was supposed to revise (part and parcel of the Author Accelerator program). Looking forward into 2015, based on assessing my progress up to this point and some insights acquired from observing my process, I am shifting my focus to a scene-a-week intentionality. I am also careful to be very specific about this goal by stating (to my coach and self) that this goal is not completion-based; rather, it is about immersion in a more complete unit of story (the scene) vs something arbitrary (xx-pages). It is also based on my process, where I set special days within the week aside for writing and only writing; how deep can I go on those days? Instead of only thinking about making pages, I want to think about making scenes, and I also want to think about increasing stamina. Perhaps you might consider this an experiment to counter what I think is a false belief: that if I write too much then I will not write well. Carefully, mindfully, I am going to explore the dark zone of that uncharted territory and look forward to what will come. I am sure there will not be too many gremlins or goblins–but if there are, I’m sure I’ll use them in my story.
So good to think about progress and focus as 2014 winds up. What a wonderful year, Dan. And, on that topic, how’s this month been for your book?
John,
Thank you for such deep reflection on your process!
-Dan
Hi Dan: I have such mixed feelings about this. Honestly, I tend to shy away from celebrating accomplishments, even the small ones. Especially since it tends to feed narcissism in today’s world of the self-absorbed social media that goes on–there are people out there celebrating how tasty their oatmeal was for breakfast. I recently won a literary prize and my first reaction was to tell no one, not attend the award ceremony, and forget it. I appreciated the recognition; that was enough, right? But family and friends wanted me to share it and ‘have my moment.’ I did, but reluctantly. Kind of like Laura Brennan’s shiny dinner plate of accomplishment you cite above. I don’t know … narcissism or self-esteem, how does one maintain clarity on the differences? Does anybody else struggle with this?
Paula,
Whatever process works well for you is what you should pursue. Personally, if a friend of mine has a moment of mindfulness, where they find themselves truly enjoying a morning – and their oatmeal – I don’t find it narcissistic to observe and share that. But that is just me.
To your point, each person has their own relationship to accomplishment, self-esteem, identity, and the strange way these mix from internal to external awareness. I do find that people struggle with this in their own ways, which is why I tend to give folks the benefit of the doubt, and why seeing someone share a photo of a meal they enjoyed never bothered me. They shared with enthusiasm and joy – that’s kind of neat.
-Dan
“Creative energy is the most important resource to manage, not time.” You should get t-shirts made with this on them. I’d buy dozens. I have felt that overwhelm and it feels like quicksand. No creative energy can get through the muck. Of course, I thought it was only me who felt this way, and that everyone else had this handled. Then I was pointed to WU.
I love your practice for this time of year. The Winter Solstice is my favorite day, and leading up to it, I do a similar thing, look back, look ahead, decide. Where we place our energy is where we go. At the Solstice, the wheel returns. Light comes back. It’s a potent time to reflect on what’s important and what isn’t. Celebrating is important! Recognizing even small achievements (although some we thing are small turn out to be monumental on retrospect). Julia Cameron’s suggestion that we give ourselves a gift each week. A way to remind ourselves that living in the creative process is an achievement in itself, and that letting go of our safety nets and clutter is sometimes an act of courage.
Susan,
THANK YOU for the kind words, and for these reflections.
-Dan
A wonderful post, Dan, and I just may have to make Clarity the word for next year. I usually choose a word after great deliberation during Advent as I reflect upon the past year (will my Master say, well done good and faithful servant? Or will there be wailing and gnashing of teeth?). A new year is a new beginning, as is every day. What is it that I need to work on specifically? This year it was Patience. The year before, Fiat. I’m happy to say I am a more patient person now than at the beginning of the year, but I still have a long way to go. But just like my stories, I, too, am a work-in-progress.
I think perhaps I am blessed to be chronically ill. It affords much time for thinking and praying. The work itself is the reward — taking care of my family, reading, writing, getting out in the beautiful Carolina sunshine with my dog. I tend to do best when I have weekly goals simply because I could be very sick one day and unable to do much. But even on the bad days, I am thankful to be alive. There’s plenty of joy to be had in the little things.
The dinner plate of accomplishment cracked me up!
Pax et bonum!
Thank you Vijaya – so much to consider here. I appreciate your yearly themes!
-Dan
Celebrating? No problem! How I love your core truth, “Clarity is a process.” Now THAT is something to celebrate, everyday as a matter of fact. I get truly excited whenever I get clarity for myself, and of course with my kids and clients. Clarity rocks!
I really needed to hear this today, Dan. Moments before reading your post I hung up the phone after having lamented to my mother about how little I’ve accomplished this past year in terms of my writing.
In retrospect, I wasn’t being fair to myself. This was the first year, after all, that I actually MADE MONEY from writing. Not much, mind you, but I did publish well over a dozen articles. Those involved research and interviews and took time away from my manuscript.
I’ve not only met several of the authors I most admire IRL this year, but now have the privilege of calling them my friends. I also attended the WU UnCon, which was the most amazing experience I could have had, both as a writer and as a human being. It gave me the clarity and courage to get through an excruciating scene I’ve avoided for months.
Yes, progress on my manuscript has been slower than I’d like, but I’ve always been more concerned with the quality of the words I write each day than the quantity. I’m proud of what I’ve done, and that’s what’s important.
I now believe I should stop complaining and open a nice bottle of wine tonight. Thank you for that!
I must admit, Kim, I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling like this today–as though not much was accomplished. But I don’t say that in the spirit of “misery loves company”…your comment reminds me that I need to be fairer to myself, too! When I look at the list of the year’s accomplishments that I wrote this morning, I see that “Made progress on novel draft” is a deceptively simple and small-looking accomplishment, when in fact it represents a lot more than that.
Congratulations on the published articles, the income, the new friends and support! Glad you are celebrating the glass more than half full. :-)
Kim,
Yay for wine! Thank you!
-Dan
I’ve never been the type to need any fanfare around my accomplishments. To me, it’s my job to do these things. It’s my job to write novels, it’s my job to pull off events at work, my job to make sure other people are successful. I imagine it might be different if I had a job where I saved lives or something of that nature.
Briana,
I love the work ethic here. I suppose I see a distinction between RECOGNIZING accomplishment and being gregarious about celebrating it. The habits of recognition are the important ones to me. Thanks!
-Dan
Thank you for this gentle reminder to celebrate our achievements.
I have no problem with clarity of focus and I use a journal to record my daily achievements, but celebrating… What do I do to treat myself? How do I reward myself for this focus, for these achievements? That does require more thought.
Thank you Leanne.
-Dan
I just love the idea of a plate of accomplishment! Thanks!
Thanks Celeste!
-Dan
Oh, I’m all about the celebrating.
I don’t consider celebrating success to be narcissistic — although I’m certain there are people in my life who would describe me that way. But I went for years (and years and years) believing that working hard for every waking hour of every day was simply “my job” and what was expected of me. That led to Overwhelm of the nth degree, to ill-health, to anxiety, and to exhaustion.
And so I learned to celebrate.
Yes, I celebrate the completion of a manuscript — and I make a big enough fuss over it to inspire friends and family to send me flowers and congratulations. But I also celebrate every day I spend writing. And every day I spend “sharpening the saw”. I even celebrate those night I manage to get my children into bed and to sleep without losing my temper. Not with something quite as tangible as an ‘accomplishment plate’, but by sitting down with a drink or a cup of tea and saying: “Well done, Self. You did great today.”
Thank you Jo!
-Dan
Dan,
Thanks for the post. I read it at lunchtime — my custom — and I’ve been thinking about it off and on since then. Though I value celebration, I’m a step behind you: How do we identify those daily and weekly successes? When I submit a ms., I recognize that accomplishment and buy myself a small piece of art. But what else do I count as a success?
Worth pondering.
Many thanks.
Leslie,
Thank you, and I agree a huge part of this process is the ability to recognize success and be mindful of it. Thank you!
-Dan
Great piece that inspires reflection.
Thank you Ike!
-Dan
Thanks for this Dan,
and to my way of thinking your point can’t be overstressed. I love how you take all the types of clarity and meld them into one bulwark against overwhelm.
History will know our time as a rare period of evolution when for us as individuals, no work, accomplishment, or success ever seemed sufficient, though we had more tools of efficiency than any of us could master.
Seeing this early in life, (and seeing that we can die at any time) I opted out of the “I’ve GOT to make it in my chosen way” mentality. The Buddhist approach of recognizing beauty and vastness in all things has been a good mentor to me, so I celebrate waking up, beginning the work, feeling my feet on the soil of the garden, etc. And if I write one great sentence each day, I am happy. And if I don’t, I’m happy I felt inspired to try.
Though we all want things, at best, we can only move in their direction with whatever alacrity we can muster. And success, though often deserved and obvious, is not guaranteed. What you are talking about is appreciating what we’ve got as we go, and this is good medicine when we take too seriously the Puritan resolve to not enjoy too much.
Tom,
Thank you for this – you have given me a LOT to consider this morning! Have a wonderful day!
-Dan
Dear Dan, I agree––clarity is the antithesis of overwhelm. I was mired in that overwhelm about blogging once a week, on top of promotion for my newly published book, on top of writing the next book. Then I learned, from you maybe, that blogging is a relationship, and consistency is mandatory. that our readers show up for us at the appointed time, and therefore we ought to show up for them. I think that shifted some brain molecules around. Since I became absolutely clear about commitment to my readers, there’s been no sense of overwhelm about the blog. It gets done. Period. It no longer feels like one thing too many. It feels more like the habit of brushing my teeth.
And, wow, I was so inspired by the plate of accomplishment. So I created an ongoing reward. Every time I get a new subscriber, or sell a book, my husband foxtrots me around the living room. We’ve had such fun with this, I’m selling books and promoting my blog and newsletter, just so I can dance!
Dawn,
Thank you! And I love how you describe this: “about commitment to my readers.” That is why, too often, I see people’s focus get too mired in a single channel or strategy. EG: maybe a blog ISN’T right for one author. As long as they keep in mind the relationship to readers, that frees them up from any lingering pressure they feel to blog, and allows them to carefully consider the type of relationship they DO want to have with readers.
Thanks again!
-Dan