Adding More White Space To Your Life
By Dan Blank | November 28, 2014 |
That seems like something of a confession, because I find that there is a strange fixation in our culture of a certain kind of productivity. One where you have to be “always on,” always “crushing it,” always stressed, always available, always buried by email.
Too often, this creates the expectation that “overwhelmed” is the only reasonable state of being. That, if you aren’t overwhelmed, that somehow, you aren’t doing it right; if you aren’t overwhelmed, you aren’t pushing yourself hard enough.
Yet, I find the following to be true:
- Sleep matters. (Seriously)
- Unscheduled time matters.
- Time with family or loved ones matters.
- Alone time matters.
- Seeking broad experiences outside of your profession or niche matters (maybe this is travel, reading outside your genre, experiencing different kinds of art, learning a new craft, etc.)
I work with a lot of writers, and in a recent course I teach, 30+ writers were sharing their short/mid/long term goals. One writer mentioned a short-term goal of writing four books per year. A few others had similar goals. This goal – write four books next year – was amidst a list of many other responsibilities, both personal and professional.
When I pointed out how bold this goal seemed, the writer explained how within their genre, writing/publishing four books per year was the expectation.
Now, if you want to write 4 books next year, that is awesome. I support you in that.
BUT…
If you are doing it because it is “what is expected,” that’s simply not healthy. It is no more healthy than corporations that expect their workers to pull 12 hour shifts everyday… to give up weekends… to work on Thanksgiving Day… to spend time away from family… to cut their maternity leave to the bare minimum… or to diminish the value of personal health by adding on more hours, more responsibly, more pressure.
I’m reading Creativity, Inc. by Ed Catmull, one of the founders of Pixar. One of the stories he shares is that of the production of Toy Story 2, and how it turned into a mythology for the company. It was one of those impossible deadline scenarios, where the team pulled together, raised the bar for their standards, and were rewarded with incredible success at the box office, and in terms of artistic respect.
It’s a story that begins with Steve Jobs saying, “Disney doesn’t think we can do this, let’s prove them wrong.”
This sounds like the setup for how great things are created, right? Or the setup for every great sports movie ever, right? Well, there is a flipside to that kind of story that we rarely talk about. Ed continues it:
“For the next six months, our employees rarely saw their families. We worked deep into the night, seven days a week. One morning in June, an overtired artist drove to work with his infant child strapped into the backseat, intending to deliver the baby to day care on the way. Some time later, after he’d been to work for a few hours, his wife (also a Pixar employee) happened to ask him how drop-off had gone — which is when he realized that he’d left their child in the car in the broiling Pixar parking lot. They rushed out to find the baby unconscious and poured cold water over him immediately. Thankfully, the child was okay, but the trauma of the moment — the what-could-have-been — was imprinted deeply on my brain. Asking this much of our people, even when they wanted to give it, was not acceptable.”
Ed put into place a number of policies and resources after that movie to ensure his employees could not only prevent risk to themselves and their families, but actually improve their well-being beyond pure work metrics.
In other words: when a team at an office works overtime to meet a deadline, I have never heard of a group meeting afterwards to assess the damage, “How many of you missed an important milestone with your kid? How many of you have gotten into fights with your spouse over all the overtime you have been pulling? What kind of health damage has this project done to you, with stress, diet, and lack of exercise?” Questions such as these never get asked.
So back to this: I am a grown man, and I take a nap every day. I literally change into sweat pants, get into bed or a chaise lounge, put covers on, and allow myself to go to sleep.
This happens in the middle of the day, at a time when I would normally be expected to be “providing for my family,” by working working working. Instead, I have a deeply personal experience that involves not only no email or social media or work, but no “productivity” as we would normally define it.
I work from home, and my wife is home with our 4 year old son. They both expect me to nap. They expect me to walk upstairs, close a door, and that they will have to not be loud for awhile.
Even though I have napped for years, and firmly believe that it makes me healthier and yes, more productive, I’m aware that this is uncommon. I’m aware that at the moment I am having personal time by taking a nap – emails are coming in, a client may call, and there is a general tenor of “crush it!” in the world. (if you are looking for resources to justify including naps in your day, Michael Hyatt has a nice post on the topic.)
I teach a lot of online courses for writers and creative professionals. In the past year, I have added a key term to them: “White Space.” I actually use this term in place of the word “homework,” because I want White Space to be the thing that is added to their life via the course.
White Space is a place where we discuss the possibilities of what can be; where bad habits are negated; and where we honor the need for the space in between other things in our lives. That metaphor extends from your daily schedule – to your creative process – to the nuances of the work you create.
For me, naps are one way that I experience White Space in my life. How do you create White Space in yours?
-Dan
Dan Blank is the founder of WeGrowMedia, where he helps writers share their stories and connect with readers. He has helped hundreds of authors via online courses, events, consulting, and workshops, and worked with amazing publishing houses and organizations who support writers such as Random House, Workman Publishing, Abrams Books, Writers House, The Kenyon Review, Writer’s Digest, Library Journal, and many others.
I can attest to the validity of naps; I call them mental dialysis. 35 min., with a timer, works best for me.
When I come back from one, the brain is clearer.
If I can’t fall asleep, I do yoga breathing – deep slow counted breaths.
I tell my mind whatever it is can surely wait for three more breaths, can’t it? It always can. Repeat.
Plus I tell my mind that if I get the rest, I will be able to deal with whatever it is better afterward – which it knows is true.
For me, best is lying down, comfortable clothing, eye-mask, and earplugs if necessary.
Without naps, no writing gets done.
Alicia,
Great tips – thank you!
-Dan
Such a great post! Thanks for the reminders we need for balance in our lives. I also write in a genre that requires steady production and I’ve tried to find the balance between pushing myself and ‘filling the well’ and sometimes the pushing gets priority. I think, for me, creating white space has been about setting time aside to work and focus on the work during that time. (This is where I depend on Freedom, an inexpensive yet powerful internet blocker.) Then, lunch time where I allow myself to do whatever I want for an hour. Walk, watch television, read. Then back to work until that chunk of time is over. I find for me, it’s a balance of being faithful and disciplined with the chunks of time and allowing myself buffer days to catch up or get ahead. It’s so easy, when you work from home, to let the work take over every aspect of your life. And when that happens, as a writer, you have nothing to draw from.
Carolyne,
Thank you for sharing this! And for the kind words.
-Dan
Funny, Dan, I nap almost everyday as well. It’s a short one, but just enough time to refresh, get ready to roll for the second half of the day. (I learned this from my overachieving and extremely hard-working dad.) There are other parts of the world where a meal and rest time in the middle of the day are expected. I wish Americans would adopt the practice.
Heather,
That is so cool! And yes, I often consider the differences in the ways US culture differs from others. LOADS to learn there.
Thanks!
-Dan
What a great reminder for Black Friday! When I worked at an architecture firm (in another life) one of the partners kept a small mat in his office, and after lunch he would close his door and take a nap. He was always better afterwards, and would do some of his best design work after that.
I think he would have supported the rest of us doing the same. We were all on salary, and so our work was not about hours, but project performance, yet none of the other workers took naps. I think that the competitiveness and relative uncertainty of position in a volatile industry, made it hard to take the risk. In other words, it took being very comfortable with one’s position in life to be able to allow the nap. I wish it were different and that naps were not a luxury, but a commonality.
Jeanne – great story, thank you!
-Dan
I used to nap, but my work day is usually spent in a coffee shop so I rarely have a chance to do this now. I remember when I used to nap mid-day how wonderfully refreshed I would feel. At the time I was waking up at 5am, so I had to nap if my regular 6 hours/night would work.
White space. So important. Often my white space comes in a few forms. One, I have many hobbies. I play the piano. I do ink drawings. I play a lot of chess online. These are little things I often work around my work days. But more importantly for me I’ve found setting a focus for each day vs being deadline-minded is much more productive. I am writing now twice as effectively as before and I attribute it to how I am approaching my work: with no sense of rush at all, with permission to be artistic about it, and avoid, at all cost, the manufacturer’s mindset that pervades the industry.
I started setting weekends aside as writing days and do no other work on those days. That has gone very well; knowing I have all day means there are windows all throughout, vs my narrow window of time I might squeeze in during the week to reach my xxxx-thousand word goal. This went so well that now I’ve made Wednesday a writing day too. I’ve had to take a big pay cut for this, but my spouse is very supportive because he wants me to be a successful writer without going crazy in the process. Maybe I’ll work in a nap on Wednesday too; that’s the day I tend to focus on revisions from my editor and a day when having fresh ideas would be best (I am with the Author Accelerator program so I get 10 pages of my manuscript critiqued by an editor every week and have to work in story-level revision as well as moving forward).
Thanks for this great idea, Dan. I’m going to adopt the term white spacd into my working vocabulary.
John, Can I triple “like” this?! Great tips, thank you for sharing your process!
-Dan
I’d be chuffed if you could do that, but I’d triple like yours right back. How is your book coming along, by the way?
John,
The book is coming along well. I’m going back through each chapter for a full manuscript edit, really trying to nail the narrative, focus, etc. Then it goes into proper editing rounds in Jan/Feb/Mar/Apr
-Dan
White space. It even sounds beautiful. My daughter taught me the value of naps when she was little. When she slept, I slept, and I noticed this weird thing. After 20 minutes, I felt refreshed, my mind sharper, the sluggishness purged from my body. It still works. My other elixir is walking, esp. in the woods, which we have lots of around here. I have known people who wear their ‘business’ like a badge of honor. And yes, ‘business’ has become a cultural thing. Reminds me of the SNL skit with Jayne Curtain. I think she accidentally eats one of her Puppy Uppers. They show her ironing paper bags. My 3 yr old grand daughter has become the Keeper of My Whitespace these days. Being around her reminds me of what’s important. Play, laughter, goofing off. All food for the soul. Thanks for addressing this today, Dan.
Thank you Susan! And yes, walking is another really good example of this.
-Dan
This was an especially well-timed reminder for me as we enter the holiday season. I have quite a bit of time off from my day job and struggle with feeling like I “should” be using every spare second of that time to work on writing. Last year I (ridiculously) planned to write an entire novel during my two week winter break. While I hate to admit it, this goal hung over me and affected the quality of the time I spent with family. Plus when I ultimately failed to finish the novel, it left me heading back to work disappointed and angry instead of rested and refreshed.
This season I’ve already planned (and told my husband – to keep me accountable) to set far more realistic goals and actually include down time and family time in those plans. I think having a plan laid out for the times I plan to work and the times I plan not to work (white space!) will help me put the focus where I ultimately want it to be: on BOTH the work I love and the people I love.
Love this – THANK YOU for the perspective!
-Dan
Good for you! Mostly I walk, but sometimes only a nap will do.
Walks are great, esp when they can be within nature – removed from the context of everyday life.
Thanks!
-Dan
Dan–
“White space” is a good term for what you’re advising: writers are encouraged to ask themselves whether they’re using enough white space. It helps readers to catch up, absorb and understand, and therefore actually adds rather than subtracts to the narrative.
You are recommending the same thing for life’s narrative. I often shake my head at the current obsession with quantitative measurement of performance. How many hours did you clock this week “at the shop”? How many meetings did you attend? Watch the obsessive/compulsive joggers and “power walkers” constantly checking various ‘ometers strapped to upper arm, wrist, etc. Or people on the phone as they pedal a bike towing a rickshaw cart with an infant inside. It’s nuts.
As for your own regimen, I have to believe you take your own white space seriously. Anyone who puts on sweats, not to rake leaves or run errands, but to nap–that guy is practicing what he preaches.
Thank you Barry!
-Dan
That story about Pixar’s employees’ doing overtime and the negative effect upon their lives reminds me of a similar story I’ve heard. Back when America was trying to put a man on the moon for the first time, the pressure on the NASA employees to work so much overtime meant that their family lives suffered. The divorce rate for our area (Huntsville, AL, where we have a NASA facility) was astronomically high. Higher than it is now, I believe. The male workers were on the clock, working, working, working, and understandably, their wives didn’t like or appreciate being neglected and abandoned with the kids, house, etc.
The expectations, drive and ambition that put a man on the moon, an incredible feat, also meant that families were broken apart. It’s sobering to realize that our ambition (for writers, to write and produce books) can lead to the loss of something far more valuable (our relationships with our loved ones).
White space. We need it. Thanks for writing this, Dan.
Laura,
Thank you for sharing that story. It is indeed an intriguing perspective to have: what is lost in what is gained.
-Dan
Dan,
Very nice post for this day when we are all to be driven by that powerful idol, Sales. There was a time when a nap was the most restorative thing for me. But, at my age, (60+) a nap in the day means generally not sleeping easily at night. So, the best thing I can do is go for a walk. There is an rail-trail 5 minutes from me that allows me a time out of the house and the pressure of whatever and into the day. I confess I don’t walk when it’s pouring down rain or snow. But, I try to get out otherwise, even when it’s cold. (Where I live, it’s not THAT cold.)
The trees, the birds, the deer, and sometimes wild turkeys get my mind into the moment and into delight. Not always, but nothing works quite as well as that 2 miles almost everyday.
Since I am a pastor, the other thing I do to “feed” myself is devotions—often the Psalms for the sheer emotional candor of them. For those who aren’t religious, there are other types of “soul food.” I like your term, “white space” as applied to life and how we live. It’s often what we DON’T pay attention to that is just as important as what we focus on. And, now, you’ve got me on the way to the library to get Creativity, Inc. Thanks.
Lynn,
Thank you for sharing this! And the book is really incredible. Thanks!
-Dan
An inspired post, Dan. Thanks so much for writing it. I love thinking about where I can find moments of “white space” in my life. In the past, I’ve napped and been better and more creative for it. But in the midst of writing two sequels, I’ve forgotten this magic elixur for staying sane. Thanks for the reminder.
Thank you Susan!
-Dan
Right on! Haven’t used that expression for years but it is a good fit for this post. If it is possible to work in that time of white space, go for it!
Thanks!
Amen to this! My cat really did teach me to nap and I have also espoused the virtues of a power nap! Great post!
Thanks Tina!
-Dan
I can’t nap, generally, but I like the idea of white space. I work a lot, but I also want to take time out, too, even if it’s just to read for 15 extra minutes a day.
Brianna,
That’s great. I 100% understand that napping isn’t for everyone. Thanks!
-Dan
Thank you for you bravery, Dan. I’m a nap-taker, too (though, not everyday — just when my body tells me, too). I’m a firm believer in White Space and loved your post. Thanks.
Thank you Marcy!
So pleased to meet another napper :) My writing began with naps … I’d take with the kiddos and it’d buy me a couple of hours at night. Even though they’ve outgrown naps, I find that down time to relax and let my imagination wander has been good for my health and creativity. Even a short 20 min nap does wonders.
The other *white space* is taking walks with my dog and playing the piano, both extremely refreshing.
Thanks – I think pets are incredible avenues to creating White Space in one’s life.
-Dan
Very useful post, Dan. I find I have to be very intentional about carving out time for non-work and non-writing activities. Running is all-important to me and I try hard to stick to my regimen. Sleep is another-though it hardly qualifies as an activity. I have to get 7-8 hours of sleep a night. That’s non-negotiable. I’ve operated on little sleep, relying on coffee and adrenaline. It can work for short period of time, but it is unsustainable. Writers need to refuel their energy banks for creativity to flourish. Thanks for sharing these thoughts.
Thank you!
-Dan
Dan, naps, what a sweet respite. I’m grateful I work at home, so I have one almost every workday and often on weekends too. Doesn’t take much: 20 minutes of tuning out after lunch really helps me to tune back in. So does the exercise break before lunch, whether it’s walking in my semi-rural neighborhood, or through the area sloughs or at the nearby beach. I’m fortunate to have so many choices.
I do wonder if the orange/black/yellow/brown plaid upholstery of my ’66 Airstream office contributes to my serenity there, or keeps me from ever falling fully asleep.
White Space, ahhhhhhh……..
Tom,
Sounds like you have some amazing choices, including an Airstream! Awesome!
-Dan
Dan loved your transparency and I agree, sleep is so important to the creative life. I sometimes (not everyday) sneak a ten minute nap. It revitalises my tired mind and I can focus on the tasks at hand. I work from home so it is easier for me. Im not sure a nap would be welcomed at work for most people, sadly.
Thanks Kath!
-Dan
I’m a big sleeper. I usually take a nap in the early evening. I don’t know how people can stay awake from 6 am to 11 pm without taking a nap somewhere in the middle.
Tina,
Thanks! I think each person has their own high and low points of the day in term of energy, and the trick is knowing what works for you. Exactly as you have done! Thanks!
-Dan
I agree! Well, I don’t like napping, but I agree about taking some time to just be. For me, it’s what I call “laptop time”–sitting on the couch with my computer and possibly the TV on. Just straight me time. Sometimes I overdo it, but if I skip it I feel stressed out, and if I skip it for more than a couple days I feel on the verge of losing it.
Thanks Nora!
-Dan
Dan-
I own a busy literary agency, travel, teach fiction workshops. I’m a husband and dad to a kid with special needs. On top of that, I’m a tidy and organized type. Clutter makes me ill. Staying well takes time.
For me, writing is my white space. It’s how I center and recharge. I feel better right now, in fact, just commenting on your reassuring post.
Napping…I dunno, maybe someday. It’s something to aspire to.
Don – thank you so much. I love the idea of WRITING as white space.
-Dan
Dan,
Some of us choose down time, and some of us have it thrust upon us.
After a recent computer crash and surgery in the same month, I’m the latter.
However, I’ve used this ‘white space’ to rediscover the sheer joy of writing for the fun of it, and to appreciate my friends, loved ones, and my other creative passions.
Thanks for a great piece!
Cathryn Cade
Cathryn,
Yes! It’s all in the perspective. Thank you!
-Dan
Lovely post, Dan! I wish I could take a nap every day, but unfortunately, I tend to either wind up not sleeping at all or going ridiculously overboard and sleeping for three hours. Regardless, though, I think it’s so important to have some alone time for relaxation – I love the term “white space”. For me, that consists of lighting a scented candle, changing into pyjamas, and just sketching for an hour or two in the evening. I try to do it at least once or twice a week, since I find it really decreases the stress factor and lets me recharge and get ready for the next day.
Topaz! Oooh, sketching. Another good idea. Thanks!
-Dan
As a reformed workaholic, the most important thing in the beginning of my nap taking many, many years ago was to give myself permission and then ask God to be my timer! If I only have 15 minutes and really need a nap, I depend on prayer and God to wake me.
Judith
Judith – thanks!
-Dan
Napping was forced onto me when, at the ripe old age of thirty, I had one of those babies who almost never slept. For the first year of his life, ten minutes out of two hours was typical. Which ten? You never knew. I learned to nap in self defense.
He lived. He’s thirty four now and I never gave up taking, yeah, stealing, twenty or thirty minutes for myself in the middle of the afternoon. Bonus, I may settle in with no purpose other than blank slate, but often wake up with some new angle or take on a writing problem.
I tell people that I sleep twice in twenty-four hours and don’t know if I’ll age half as fast or live twice as long but it works for me.
Deb,
Love that. Thanks!
-Dan
Oh, Dan, you affirm my afternoon naptime! During my days working for attorneys, there was never a time for even a 20-minute power nap and sometimes I would get home at 2 a.m. in time to grab a bite, sleep a bit, shower and return by 7:30 a.m. the next day. No white space, no family time, no spiritual or meditational time. At the time, my son was in middle school and graduated from high school during this frantic schedule. Although I was married and hubby/dad was actively engaged in family life, there were still responsibilities at home that were mine.
Fast forward to retirement in 2006. In 2005 during a 3-month sabbatical, I learned to nap. Yes, “learned” to nap. I had been raised in a home where productivity was key. Anything that did not show productivity was considered a waste of good work time. Once my husband taught me how to nap, he then taught me how not to feel guilty about that nap.
Today I am so pleased to have graduated into guiltless napping just as you say in comfy sweats, under covers, often with my cat curled up beside me, just chilling into what I now know is White Space. Nothing better for the human body or soul.
Sherrey,
“guiltless napping,” LOVE that! Thank you for sharing your experience here!
-Dan
A critical message, Dan. What you didn’t mention but implied is that when you don’t make white space a priority, the work suffers anyway. Maybe not at first, but eventually and usually when you most need to be able to “crush it”.
Recently, I’ve discovered the joys of mid-day exercise, but journaling or naps are also helpful.
Thank you Jan!
-Dan
Thank you for this. Yesterday I began meditating. Today I decided after lunch is a good time. I listened to rain and a clock ticking, while not thinking about either. It was an awake nap. It should be a sacrament.
Thanks Lynne!
had to add that for ARTISTS (I’m one and an artist agent for children’s book market) WHITE SPACE is the ‘negative space.’ It’s the places the eye rests and pauses to take in and process all the’positive space’ and color and lines. An image without ‘white space’ can be visually and mentally overwhelming and cause one to stop viewing the image. In children’s books we do not want readers to ‘leave the image’ so an artist must become a master of this ‘negative,’ quite white space. Really just what you said for writers and life in general! hmm, think I’ll blog about this…… ;)
Thank you so much Christina!
-Dan