Rising Expectations, Daily Pages, and Having Fun
By Kristan Hoffman | November 16, 2014 |
According to one of my favorite children’s books, if you give a mouse a cookie, he’s going to want a glass of milk to go with it. And if you give the mouse a glass of milk, he’s going to want a straw (to drink with). Then a mirror (to avoid a milk mustache). Then scissors (to groom himself in the mirror). So on and so forth. There is always something more to want.
I think the writing life can be that way too. If you write a good short story, then you’ll want to try a novel. Once you write a novel, you’ll probably want an agent. If you get an agent, you’re going to hope for a book deal. Then good reviews, bestseller lists, prestigious awards, bigger advances…
Rising expectations are a double-edged sword. It’s good to have goals, and to push oneself to grow. But it’s destructive to never be appreciative of where you currently are and what you’ve achieved.
I often struggle to walk that line in a graceful, healthy way. In fact, I often fail. But lately there are two things – two pretty basic things – that are helping me to keep a better balance.
1. Morning Pages
Made famous by Julia Cameron’s THE ARTIST’S WAY, morning pages are supposed to be handwritten and stream-of-conscious. A way to get in touch with one’s inner self, as well as to clear the pipes for creativity to flow. I basically do them all wrong – I type them on the computer, sometimes in the morning but usually just in spurts throughout the day – and yet I still find that they work.
They help me the way that scales help a pianist. They’re warm-ups. They’re meant to be easy and foundational. They create momentum.
Sometimes my morning pages are like a journal. How I’m feeling, what I’ve been up to, etc. Other times, I write about what I want to be writing about. I might be stuck on a scene, or just trying to figure out my goal/focus for the next writing session. Whatever the case, it’s a nice way to come at a story from the side, instead of attacking the thing head-on and scaring it off.
2. Reminding Myself to Have Fun
Speaking of attacking and scaring… Many times I have found myself grappling with a page, a paragraph, or even just a line. And with each passing second that I can’t get the words “right,” I grow increasingly frustrated and miserable. That kind of negative mindset is poor soil for creativity to blossom in.
One solution to this problem is so simple it’s almost stupid. The hardest part is having the presence of mind to do it.
I sit back, take a deep breath, and remind myself to have fun.
Seriously. That’s it. But also: that’s it. That’s the thing. Fun! I got into writing because I enjoyed it. Not because I wanted a million-dollar book deal or a Pulitzer Prize. I just love characters and stories. So why not tap into that joy, instead of banging my head against the keyboard and hoping the perfect turn of phrase will fall out?
In this children’s book that I like so much, the mouse ends up coming full circle and asking for the same thing on the last page that he did on the first. To me, that’s what these two techniques do. They bring me back to the first thing. The best thing. The cookie.
The writing itself.
What do you guys do to manage rising expectations and maintain a healthy balance in your writing life?
Originally from Houston, TX, Kristan Hoffman studied creative writing at Carnegie Mellon University and later attended the Kenyon Review Writers Workshop. Now she lives with her husband and two children in Cincinnati, OH, where she writes both fiction and nonfiction with a focus on feminist, multicultural stories. Her words have appeared in the New York Times, Switchback, and the Citron Review, among others. She is currently at work on a Young Adult novel. For more, please visit her website.
Since I’m a substitute teacher, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, so this made me chuckle. It’s such a great comparison to our personal writing expectations! I love the idea of Morning Pages. It reminds me of a “junk file” I had years ago in which I let myself write whatever I wanted. Thanks for the reminder.
Haha, I’m glad to hear the book is still popular!
What a great use of that story :-) Bring it back to what you wanted in the beginning.
I use Morning Pages a very similar way (when I do them, ahem, reminder to myself to get back in the habit). Not necessarily first thing in the morning, but I definitely use them to trick myself into working on things — “it’s not seriously working on this thing, it’s just morning pages.” Even though I *know* that’s what I’m doing, it still works.
Hehe, I think many of us have to trick ourselves sometimes. (Or bribe ourselves…) ;P
“[I]t’s a nice way to come at a story from the side, instead of attacking the thing head-on and scaring it off.”
Great advice. And your second point — that you need to have fun — is spot-on. I’ve spent a lot of time away from writing and will be getting back to it soon. I hope to reconnect with the FUN.
Thanks, Kristan!
Sometimes a break is a good and/or necessary thing! But I’m glad you’re coming back and can’t wait to see what you write next. :)
Kristan I LOVE morning pages especially as away to understand my relationship with my writing … To get a bit of distance and see the bigger picture.
As for Fun… Hmmm you’ve got me thinking I think I could add a whole lot more fun… I tend to drive myself constantly with what I’m NOT doing and should be doing. Eg one of my critique partners is bugle prolific and I’m the very opposite. So I have to remind myself I’m a different kind of writer…
Thanks for your inspiring post
…
“especially as away to understand my relationship with my writing … To get a bit of distance and see the bigger picture.”
Exactly! And omigosh, yes, stop comparing yourself. Comparison is the thief of joy, as my friend and fellow writer Jasmine Warga likes to quote. (Note to self: Take your own advice!)
Thanks for a great post. I loved how you used that very fun PB to share what’s really important — the writing. I’ve always had a catch-all notebook and a couple of years ago, I started doing MPs (morning pages). More often they are APs or NPs but because the notebook stays with me, it’s a place to dump the thoughts and ideas, and like confession, sometimes it’s the same stupid thing I write about. I recognize the things that won’t let go of me and it’s a big clue as to what I should be working on. But it’s a fun place too, to play with words, and work on a secret project instead of what I should be doing …
“I recognize the things that won’t let go of me and it’s a big clue as to what I should be working on.”
Precisely! People sometimes ask, “What happens if you forget a good idea?” I’ve always thought, “If it were that good of an idea, I wouldn’t forget it.” ;P
(Or, at the very least, it would come back to me.)
Thanks for this optimistic article! I read those books to my kids and I love how you bring it back to writing.
-Dana
Glad you enjoyed it, and even more glad that your kids are getting to enjoy such fun books!
That’s funny, I was just thinking of how I’m getting myself stuck by expecting my new novel to be easier to write than my previous one. I’m currently writing the third version and although I’m intrigued by its potential, I’m also a bit bored with it. I’ve lost the passion I had when I was working on my previous novel, and still have when I think about the characters. (And that’s it, I need to get passionate about my new characters, so I’m working on that) Good thing is I still have every document I ever wrote for that previous novel so I can study my own novel writing process in detail.
I don’t do morning pages by the way. The term makes me think of morning sickness too much, plus I wrote a diary for 25 years and the therapeutic writing eventually stifled my creativity. I write when I have something to say, and I don’t always have something to say :-)
As to having fun, a friend and I thought of an alternative way to celebrate NaNoWriMo: every day we think of something new: a new character, a new plot, a tagline for a new story, a few sentences in a newly invented language, a new planet, etc. It’s fun and there’s no pressure of having to write 50K words in a month.
“I write when I have something to say, and I don’t always have something to say”
Oh for sure, me too. Writing “morning” pages often helps me, but not all of the time, and I’ve learned not to force anything, but rather to wait until it starts working again.
But that’s me. To each their own! We writers are such a diverse bunch. :)
Morning pages. I didnt know what I was doing had a name. And I practice the same way as you do, in spurts typed throughout the day.
I also start a new story or article this way, getting out the clutter and cliche before suddenly flowing into the piece. Then when I edit the piece, I go back to the first paragraph (or page) and delete the journaly drivel, incorporate what’s relevant, and move anything good but unrelated to another document.
That sounds like a really smart system! And isn’t it funny how sometimes we intuitively come to a practice or a technique without even knowing that it’s already a thing? That’s what I love so much about intuition. ;)
Ah, thank you for reminding me about morning pages and also giving me permission to do them in the way that works best for me (definitely not in the morning).
“giving me permission to do them in the way that works best for me”
That, I think, is the hardest thing about this journey. Giving ourselves permission. I’m glad if I helped you do that in any way!
When i’m stuck, I switch gears: write poetry instead of fiction, write fiction instead of poetry, write in my journal, write something even if it’s about having no new ideas about what to write. Eventually something pops into my mind, and I’m off and writing again and having fun.
Adelaide
Very smart! I too find that switching it up — both in reading and writing — can be really helpful when I’m “stuck.”
This is awesome, Kristan. Too often we forget the fun.
Denise Willson
Author of A Keeper’s Truth and GOT
Thank you, Denise! Here’s to fun!
I agree, Kristan! If writing weren’t fun, I’d go find something else to do with my time. Life is too short to spend hours doing something we hate!
As far as balance goes, LIFE is all about balance. A little writing, a little music, some gym time, some meditation time, a spot of good wine, three solid meals, lots of friends, lots of laughter, a bit of travel to mix things up, and someone to spend my life with.
I don’t think I could be the writer I am without a life of balance.
That’s so true! Good food, good sleep, and good company are key to my life as well. ;)
Because I have a creative mind, I find keeping both feet on the floor a challenge. My dreams are amazing that I want them to be reality NOW. Much like yourself, Kristan, I find that morning papers help as does an appreciation journal — and spending away from writing. I also find it helpful to learn about the journey other successful authors are traveling or have travelled.
Oh Leanne, I totally feel you! It’s like, as writers, we’re naturally dreamers, so of course we have bigs hopes and desires! But to achieve them, we have to stay grounded and work hard. Can’t spend all our time daydreaming… :P
Enjoyed your post Kristan.
I too find writing “pages” helpful – I do handwrite them but whenever i get a chance, often not morning. Just need to clear the gunk out of my head sometimes – and not infrequently that tells me what I must do before I can release myself to write. Love a walk to reenergise too.
I haven’t tried reminding myself to have fun (and now will give it go!) but I came across a perhaps related strategy which has helped me – even when I am feeling far from it, to remind myself that I am excited about writing (or at least one teensy aspect of it eg having an hour to write in front of me). I hope it’s okay to post a link to the post I wrote about this on my blog – https://jacquiegartonsmith.com/2014/01/11/is-excitement-a-new-strategy-for-writers/
Jacquie, I love the “I am excited” approach! I think it’s very similar to what I’m talking about here. :) And yes, walks (and showers) can be very stimulating as well!
I love both pieces of advice, Kristan. The only problem I have with #1 is that I journal by hand and it can be interesting to pull out the productive stuff later. Between my writing-writing (in Scrivener) and my independent paper notes (on Post-its and scraps everywhere), I swear I’m my own worst enemy.
My kids adored the book you referenced and would put you on to another favorite which features bovine creatures, blackmail, and a literary revolt. Have you read Click, Clack, Moo: Cows that Type? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MC3zlXfi98Y
Lol I know what you mean. I actually keep a table of contents for my journal, and do my best to update it. Nerdy, but useful!
Thanks for the YouTube link! That book is super cute. :D