The Only Thing Worse than a Book Tour Is No Book Tour
By Meg Rosoff | November 20, 2013 |
photo by rhetoricjunkie
It’s been a busy few months.
The film of How I Live Now, my first novel, has come out in the UK and the US after ten years in development. It was directed by Kevin MacDonald (Last King of Scotland) and starred Saoirse Ronan, who’s one of my favorite people in the world, despite her ridiculous amount of talent, perfect skin, mad sense of humor and general niceness (god, I hate all that in a person).
In the meantime, my new novel, Picture Me Gone, is out in the UK and the US. And it’s a finalist for the National Book Award (which is announced today, folks, fingers crossed if you don’t mind).
This is all good stuff. Fantastic stuff. Amazing stuff. So why do I feel like punching the next person who walks up to me and says, “Hey, Meg! So! Living the dream, eh?”
For the past two months I’ve been answering a zillion e-mails from lovely fans who really liked the book but want to know why the film is rated R. Or why the dog is different. Or why Piper has red hair. Ask Kevin, I say sweetly.
For the past two months I’ve spent hours speaking and writing and appearing at Q&As about a film I didn’t write, so that when people demand to know why Edmond is older in the movie than the book, or why he’s called Eddie, or why Daisy’s a blonde not a brunette, or why there’s a bird….I shrug. Ask Kevin, I say sweetly.
In my spare time, I’ve written about 650 articles for the British press. Articles about the book, about the film, about stuff vaguely related to the book and the film, about stuff not at all related to books or films, about stuff barely related to me. I’ve spent so many hours writing so many articles, I’d say I’m pretty much a household name in Britain these days. It hasn’t made the book a bestseller or the film a blockbuster hit, but still. “Really worth doing,” says my PR.
Of course there’s one thing I haven’t been doing for the past couple of months. You guessed it. Writing.
There’s no time to write. No time to do my taxes either, or walk the dogs, or make dinner for my family or pay the car insurance or see my long-lost friends.
Am I complaining? Of course I’m not. I’m living the dream, have a film out, am a finalist for the National Book Award. I couldn’t be more excited.
But I’m not writing. And as I embark on an American book tour, I don’t see much writing in the near future either. Which makes me panicky. Despite the fantastic positive things in my life, I’m convinced I’ll never write another book again. And even if I do, it won’t be any good because I don’t have time to write – or think — any more. Of course I’m not complaining. Cause I’m so lucky. Really, I know I am. Only I’m so anxious, I might have a nervous breakdown, or develop a pathological fear of flying on the way to NYC, or….worse.
Because I’m not writing. And isn’t that what writers are supposed to do?
Two months from now, when a gruesome silence has descended over my life – when the phone never rings and no emails ping through, when my agent won’t take my calls and no one cares whether I live or die, I’ll look back at these months as the best time of my life.
Which just goes to prove that no one’s ever happy.
And that goes double for writers. When we’re not writing.
Feel out of sorts when you’re not writing, too? Let’s hear about it in comments.
Meg Rosoff was born in Boston, educated at Harvard and worked in NYC for ten years before moving to England permanently in 1989. She wrote her first novel, How I Live Now, (released late 2013 as a feature film starring Saoirse Ronan), at age 46. Her books have won or been shortlisted for 19 international book prizes, including the Carnegie medal and the Michael J Printz award. Picture Me Gone, her sixth novel, was shortlisted for the 2013 National Book Award . She lives in London with her husband and daughter.
I think that not writing adds to my stress because the act of pure storytelling is a wonderful pressure relief valve, getting me out of my own harried life. When I don’t have that, I feel its lack. So, I hope you get back to the creative part of your career soon. In the meantime, enjoy!
You are absorbing experiences, and emotions, and observing people in a whole new way. Really! You’ll remember all of that, and it will inform your writing, just as previous experiences found their way into your earlier works.
When I first got serious about the writing, a role to which I’m still growing accustomed, one of my initial observations to friends was that writing allowed me to use all the parts of myself in a way I had never known before. (that’s when I knew I was hooked)
The sentiment remains true to this day, and I’ve no doubt other writers feel the same though they may express it differently, or more eloquently. So trust that all of this will be waiting when you are able to devote yourself to the task again.
And congratulations! What a wonderful, wonderful adventure!
Six novels, a movie, finalist for a National Book Award (god I hate all that in a person). :-)
Sounds nerve-wrackingly awesome! I’m with John—just think of all the life gems you’re picking up along the way to put in your next novel!
And may the writing gods shine down upon you when you find the time to make it happen.
Congrats for all your success!! It is frustrating when other obligations take us away from our art. But this is a great reminder that we can write old school with pen and notebook if we have to–just so we’re writing.
Love it. :)
From all of the rest of us to you, Meg: We feel your pain. And would be happy to share in that burden–all except for the no-writing bit.
Congratulations on the success. May it breed more stories, more books, more fun, and, soon, a vacation from madness so that you can do the things you most love.
As much as I love the holidays, and having friends and family in, I try to make time to write in the midst of it all. It helps me enjoy the festivities without feeling any (not exactly resentment but maybe a little cranky) for the demand on my time.
Your predicament gives us all hope. Enjoy it all. That’s the most important thing.
You’ll get back to writing when the time is right. Or righting when the time is write, whichever works for you.
Good luck.
Congratulations on the release of the movie and good luck with the tour. I hope you find some new and exciting ideas along the way to fill your well. I loved ‘How I Live Now’ and can’t wait to see the movie version.
Congratulations on your success, Meg. I guess it’s the old “watch out for what you wish for” happening, eh? I’m sure many of us who don’t even have an agent, much less a book out in print or a movie, are definitely jealous, I’m sure.
I understand your frustration completely! While writing has given us wonderful opportunities in terms of publication, awards, and fans, those same tangibles take away from what brought them forth in the first place. Such irony! I try to get at least 100 words out each day so at least I feel I did something (and blog posts, e-mails, etc. don’t count!). Congratulations on the film and new book!
I saw your NBA nomination, Meg. Fingers crossed for you!
What I notice about writers is that we might not be putting pen to paper in any one moment, but we never stop storytelling. You’ve constructed a personal narrative about this stage in your life, with conflict, theme and a resolution. Forgive me for finding that amusing while you’re suffering for missing the page. ;)
A successful writer once said that the only difference between being published and not being published is that you are published. I think that goes for having a film out or having an agent or anything in this crazy business. You’re still the same despite success (or failure). And you still need to write, that’s the only constant. The rest is static.
Fingers crossed, and congratulations! I think everyone can understand that you’re not being ungrateful–it’s awful not to have time to write. I’m sure with your level of success comes unimaginable pressure–well, you wouldn’t be where you are if you weren’t able to take a challenge head on :) Good luck!
Congratulations! What a wonderful problem to have. :)
1. I would also love to have that problem.
2. You say it took you ten years to develop your book. That gives me hope that taking the time to get it right pays off.
Thank you for sharing and I’m looking forward to reading your work.
The trick is to just consider it part of the job–you’re not getting away from the writing, you’re just doing the part of the job that doesn’t involve writing. Every job has tasks we like and don’t like, like paperwork, for example. You’re not not working. You’re just doing a different part of the job.
The nervousness about future work is understandable. My first book sold half a million copies, and while the next two have done very well for the industry, they’re not going to do that. If you put pressure on yourself to repeat your feats, you will be paralyzed with perfectionism and unable to write. Believe me, I know. Just consider it an outlier(s), and go back to work when you can without putting pressure on yourself.
First, Congratulations!!! Second, I’m surprised you are not hiding in the bathroom, scribbling something in a notebook with a stolen pen. That’s what I do when life is overwhelming. My family will tell you I’m a crankypants when I don’t get to write.
Of course, you’ll write again!
Just write about a busy person who doesn’t have time to pursue her passion–I’m serious! We writers have to turn the frustrations in our lives into authentic stories. :)
Congratulations to you!
and I’ve not written a thing since I finished the last novel, just released – not.one.thing. other than a blog post or two. dang.
*crazies set in; everyone run and hide from kat*
When I’m not able to write, hubby hides the kids. “Momma’s not well right now.”
Find your happy place, Meg. And enjoy what you can. When all else fails, get a little tipsy. :)
Denise Willson
Author of A Keeper’s Truth
Congratulations on your success!
Just live in the moment and don’t think about the next project. Keep writing articles on your current (and past) novel for now. It’s writing, after all.
Fingers are crossed for you.
In response to your question: If I am unable to write, then I read and make notes in the book I’m reading or in my journal.
It seems the business side of writing takes up a lot of time when we would rather be creating. But that’s the way it goes. :-)
Congratulations, Meg.
What a lovely blog piece. Yes, I do feel snarly when I am not writing fiction. All the other writing we do does not seem to fill that need deep inside.
Some life events have interfered with my writing schedule of late, and I am too often tempted to kick the dog. I take her for a walk instead.
Congratulations on all the wonderful things happening in your career.
Congrats on all the good things! I wish you best of luck for the award. :)
I don’t quite get panicky when I don’t writer, but I do get grumpy and down and feel like a failure. It just starts to all feel quite miserable, even when I’m having fun. Writing something, anything, usually brings out the joy again.
I love the idea of being successful in the way you describe, and yet it terrifies me, too. The whole “what if they figure out I’m a fraud thing” is tough to deal with, but I try to tell myself to just breath and get the next chapter written.
Yes! This post has the perfect tone. When my first novel came out in 2012 I felt tons of pressure to feel lucky. Because so few people get there. But the stress of PR and the pressure of whether or not that book would sell at the bookstore were intense. And yet disliking the launch process felt like a personal failure, or a character flaw.
It’s a tough, tough business.
I look forward to having Meg’s problems, haha!
Wow, thank you for taking me there. And now I’m glad to be here.
Forget the publicity and emails and articles and JUST WRITE. There is something to be said for the enigmatic and mysterious writer who is so good they are very selective about tours and interviews, precisely because they prioritise writing. There is something to be said for not losing yourself in the noise…
Wow, that just goes to show that there really is no balance in life – it’s all or nothing!
I’d been pinning my hopes on one day becoming a published author and thus being ‘allowed’ to write. By that I mean that it’s seen as a job and can take priority over the washing, folding, cooking etc, at least on the days when the kids are at school and I’m not at my day job.
But reading about your life at the moment, it looks like there is no time when you’re allowed to write. I guess we’ll always have to just sneak in a bit of writing wherever we can.
Yes, I totally get down in the dumps when I can’t write. If I can just fit in a cup of tea and a half hour of writing, then my sanity is guaranteed for another day.
Thanks for the post.
Mary Ann
I loved this. Not because I can identify with it, because I’m at the beginning of all of it, not ten years down the line, but because I’ve heard “But how does it FEEL?” so many times this last few months. I signed a three book deal recently, and this year has been huge. I went to London, had lunch with my agent and my publisher in a super posh hotel, and friends sent messages saying “Your dreams have come TRUE! How do you FEEL?” and I replied with the appropriate noises. Then I went and spoke at a conference and announced my book deal and everyone clapped and said “This is a dream come true!” etc. I said the right things again.
I did try saying “how I feel is completely exhausted, a bit scared, worried about the mean stuff people write on Amazon reviews, and INCREDIBLY tired of the sound of my own voice going blah blah blah” but it didn’t really work. So I came home, put on my ratty old writing clothes, tied my hair out of the way, and started writing again. It’s helping.
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