You, Dear Writer, Are Going to Fail Miserably
By Dan Blank | September 27, 2013 |
photo by ‘PixelPlacebo’
You, dear writer, are going to fail. Miserably.
Until you succeed.
You will be alone.
Until you are embraced with open arms.
We are going to make fun of you (giddily.)
Until we come to respect you.
We will find every tiny flaw in your otherwise decent story.
Until it grabs our hearts and makes us fall in love.
We will do the worst thing possible for way longer than you expect: we will ignore you.
Until we can’t stop thinking about you, and talking about your work.
We will use you as a scapegoat for our own sense of inequity.
Until we strive to become more like you.
We will take pot-shots at you. Making fun of things that are none of our business.
Until you stop caring about those things.
We will grossly generalize what your work embodies, misconstruing it whenever possible.
Until you ensure we “get it.”
Dear author, we are not going to make this easy for you. Which is why so many authors stop. They stop writing. They give up. Too soon.
Sometimes moments before success and validation; other times, years before.
We win. Game over.
If you want an excuse to stop, to give up, oh we will gladly provide them. It’s a hobby of ours, really. Go ahead, try to get us to stop. We won’t. There are too many of us, and this is simply too much fun.
We won’t stop until you start caring less about what we say, and more about the power of your own work. Until our words hold no power over you. And likely, until that mirror you look into everyday that speaks our words in your own voice holds no power over you as well.
Pop quiz: Who is “We”? What are you going to do about it?
Dan Blank is the founder of WeGrowMedia, where he helps writers share their stories and connect with readers. He has helped hundreds of authors via online courses, events, consulting, and workshops, and worked with amazing publishing houses and organizations who support writers such as Random House, Workman Publishing, Abrams Books, Writers House, The Kenyon Review, Writer’s Digest, Library Journal, and many others.
You certainly grabbed my attention with that line, Dan. “We” are readers, who will do all you say in this epic masterpiece, and more. I’m learning about them, thanks to you. Better yet, I’m learning how to collaborate with them creatively.
Awesome! Saved that to read again & again. In “we” I saw the faces of so many who’ve told me I cannot be one of “those” writers and to settle for and be happy that I make a living as a (copy) writer. I saw my own face, too! My response? Keep writing until … !
Dan-
Eloquently expressed. I love your question for discussion, too. Who are “they”? Agents? Editors? Reviewers? Readers?
Here’s another question: What is it that creates respect, warms hearts, stirs admiration, causes care, fuses understanding and encourages enthusiasm? In other words, the opposite of the resistance you describe?
Simply, it’s story. It’s easy to prove this to yourself. Focus on your body. What happens when you hear the words, “Once upon a time…” Do your muscles and mind relax?
I am increasingly convinced that problems with manuscripts start inside. When authors surrender to their own stories and generously love their characters, their manuscripts come alive.
To answer your question…as Pogo famously said, “We have met the enemy and they is us.”
In a very real sense, “they” is you and me.
OMG, so perfectly said, Don — couldn’t agree more! It’s not an external “they,” WE is Us (grammar check will have a field day with that one). Writers who blame the outside world for “not getting it” have no real chance. Just saying!
Actually, what Pogo said was, “We have met the enemy and *he* is us.” (Emphasis mine.) This is why we need copy editors.
” When authors surrender to their own stories and generously love their characters, their manuscripts come alive.”
When you have to get a letter from your character giving you permission to write the scene where he shows some of his darkest side – before you can write it, the character has become real enough to hurt. I just hope I can do him justice.
Alicia
I love this post, and your response hit home, Don. Whenever I speak the words “Once upon a time” to my granddaughter, she stops what she’s doing and looks at me with wonder and expectation.
Hi Dan. “We” sounds like the reviewers, editors, publishers, and lit agents who give or withhold opportunities for writers. “We” can’t be the readers because most readers don’t want writers to give up, or fail, or take pleasure in hurting writers. Your verse sounds like a battlefront. Kind of threw me because I don’t think of the “we” (the industry professionals) as opponents. I guess I’m not into the “them” versus “me” mentality. Writing is a gift. We learn our craft, practice, practice, practice, keep growing and put our work out there. I see it as creating harmony, not a warrior going to battle.
Capturing article as I head out the door to work.
I believe the “we” in the article are our own self-doubts. They are the part inside us that listens to the agents and the publishers that reject our queries and those who tell us the chance of success are small. They are the part of our inner psyche that makes us second guess snap decisions, that makes us wonder why in the world we are doing what we’re doing.
We alone are capable of causing our own failure. Rejections aren’t failures. They are stepping stones and opportunities to improve and until our innermost self realizes this, we will fail.
We will succeed when we fail to listen to the endless objections that our own mind throws in our path.
We, the writers, must listen to our own self-confidences, and maybe those other voices inside us that beg us to tell their stories no matter what!
Peggy
USA (Unpublished Successful Author)
Love the frankness of this piece. Yes, we writers fail miserably, and we don’t know when that moment will be that failure will snap over into success. We don’t know whether this is our dark moment right before things turn around, or the next one, or the one a year from now, a month from now. We are very much like our characters, in the middle of our story.
As to who the “we” is in your piece, it’s everyone. It’s us (Resistance or negative self-talk or whatever else you want to call it). But it’s also all those people who don’t respond the way we think they should, who don’t give us the attention we think our work deserves. Who say “no” or give the pity smile or ignore us completely. The gatekeepers.
As to what I’m going to do about it: keep trying, keep growing, keep writing, keep pursuing that “until” moment.
Thanks for this Dan. I agree that “we” is both ourselves, our self-doubts, but also the gatekeepers and naysayers that trigger them. Having just received two new rejections, and let it get me down, I found this post reassuring and empowering.
Wow. Awesome post. I say “Game on.” ;)
Because it starts with me–why I write, my goals, my pride. Because I’m going to filter every negative reaction (whether deserved or not) through that. Holding on to who I am, knowing the writing is just one facet, won’t make me bulletproof but it will keep me objective.
They’re called incentives. Every time they say we can’t, we do it. Thanks for the reminder, Dan.
Dang. Excellent post, Dan. Truly. And bookmarked, too.
“We” is everybody but the dear author.
“We” = negative thoughts of the author
HI Dan, I just re-posted this on my site. Its a great follow up to my post-( A Day in the Life of a Writer: Manuscript Complete).
To answer the question- Who is “We”- A few of them are the gatekeepers known as Agents, Publishers, a handful of them are readers. The majority of the “We” I believe, are the very voices in our heads that pushes us on to write. The characters whose stories we are struggling to tell and they won’t let us; not until we get it right.
[…] Great Post by Dan Blank of Writer Unboxed […]
Thanks, Dan. I needed to hear this today!
Great post. I wanted to send it to all the writers I work with in groups and workshops, then I thought, “oh wait. This is for me.” Hits home. Thanks for posting.
We wouldn’t be writers if we weren’t also readers. Darn shame we’re so hard on each other and ourselves.
Love this! Touches our ego, sense of self and ambitions!!!
Well done!!!
I’m bookmarking this one. No, wait, I’m printing it out and tacking it up beside my desk so I can look at it on those days when “we” is actually “me.”
“A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit”–Richard Bach.
I think the “we” in Dan’s piece is whatever excuse the writer uses to finally give up.
Failure is the only guaranteed part of writing. Every writer goes through it and unless you learn to deal, it’s bound to do you in. I gave up for three years after having seven novels shot down but then I came up with another idea that got me back on track. Now I have two books being published in ’14. Just goes to show, you can come back from failure.
I think the “we” is everything and everyone but our voice, the heart of our creative persona that willed us to be writers in the first place. That includes the nagging voices in our heads, the naysayers, the labels, etc.
By voice, I’m talking about what drives our stories, like Mr. Maas mentioned. It goes beyond writing style and rules, to the essence of our creative self. I think when we find, the terrible “we” falls away. As you said, “Until our words hold no power over you.”
I’m still making room for my voice, but it’s there. When I look in the mirror, I see it in my eyes, when I write, I know I only have to peel away the surface to find it.
Great post. You lit a fire in my belly.
Side note: For some reason, I think of that scene in The Labyrinth, when Sarah remembers the final line: “You hold no power over me.” My sister once sent me a card with that entire monologue on it. Hm, I think it’s time to hang it over my desk. :)
Love this post!
“We” can be a lot of people. Yes, “we” can be agents and editors (though really, I think the professional ones will not giddily make fun of writers. At least not in a way that would make it back to the writers. If they do, that tells me I don’t want to work with those people anyway). “We” can also other writers who are insecure about their own work and attempt to build themselves up by tearing others down. “We” can be readers and Internet trolls who try to gain attention by being jerks.
And yes, “we” can be ourselves as we strive to become better writers and, sometimes, despair of ever becoming so. That “we” is the most difficult one to shut up. But as you said in your post, Dan, we have to write in spite of those voices. It’s not easy, not at all.
So when my own doubts have me not wanting to give up, I think I’m going to tell myself: Just one word more. From there I can build to a phrase, to a sentence, to a paragraph, and if I keep writing long enough, I’ll find something again that I love. And that will be enough to keep me going.
Thanks!
Beautiful, Dan, and so true.
Thank you.
We is me. You wrote what’s been running like a loop in my mind for the past week. Thank you for the affirmation I needed.
We are the Deadly Thoughts.
I think the “we” is the author. And I think those voices should be there, to a point. We shouldn’t let doubts and insecurities stop us, but these questions drive us to do better. Every day, it’s a balancing act.
Wow! Thank you for preparing me for the road that lies ahead- we have a lot against us, but so much supporting us, if we persevere.
we is me drowning in my own self consciousness. my biggest successes happen when I jump into the abyss, arms wide open…with the hellhounds right behind me. I don’t have time to think, only to act.
“We” are all the unnamed and named folks writers carry in their heads when they realize they write not just for themselves, but also for readers. It’s like suddenly realizing one is at the edge of a cliff; no less safe than a moment ago … still on solid ground, and all. So what is that writer’s problem? They don’t keep writing, as if stopping can get them away from the edge. Ray Bradbury said, “You only fail if you stop writing.”
So don’t stop writing and you won’t fail. Miserably or otherwise.
Good one, Dan. Although I think your quiz is really a Rorschach test for personality types (is the enemy outside or inside?)
Your opening lines have the same ring as Dr. Seuss’s “Oh the Places You’ll Go” (which I just read with my daughter). It made me smile when I realized it was almost Seuss-like in its cadence, and maybe even its message, but definitely not just for children.
I think my “we” is any and all of the above. When I read “We won’t make this easy on you” I thought “this is truth.”
But, it boils down to this. Really, the world doesn’t owe me (or anyone else) anything. And reality is exactly what your post says. So, what am I (emphasis on I) going to do, and how am I going to deal with the world when it is not very nice. How am I going to let it affect me, or am I going to just do what I do and continue on. It’s a question that has to be answered each day, in each situation. I appreciate the reminder that I need to remain centered and committed to the long haul. :)
Dan, a “keeper” post to re-read when my own inner voices get all negative and nasty. That’s my “we,” I think. Thanks for this!
“We” are all the gremlins inside me who chant the negative comments.
What an inspiring post. Thanks.
Dan
Your words are always more then apt Sir.
In similar vein …
“Why you will fail to have a great career: Larry Smith at TEDxUW”
https://youtu.be/iKHTawgyKWQ
Jonathan
Great post. To me, “we” is everybody that ever doubted you, including your own mind.
Thank you so much for this incredible post. I really needed this. I think “I got it.” Great, great, great work!
We are critics.
[…] You, Dear Writer, Are Going to Fail Miserably by @wegrowmedia via @writerunboxed – This is actually one of the best writer pep talks I’ve read in a while. […]
Being alone does not make writers miserable. It’s the intrusions and interruptions that make us miserable.
I love you for this. My husband and I often wonder how many successful people achieve that success simply because they never quit. They are the ones left standing when everyone else decided it was too hard.
I have pages in my journals, “I don’t have what it takes,” “I’m not cut out for this,” “Who cares what I have to say?” A few weeks later, the same grasping questions. But in between? Real writing. Until I want to quit again, and I whine and cry into my notebook again, and then keep writing. Every time I really want to quit, like for real this time, I read something like this, and I don’t give up. Thank you.
Wow – thank you everyone. I did NOT expect such a reaction from this post, you are all very kind. I love reading your interpretations and experiences on this topic. Usually, I would respond to each comment, but my family is moving this weekend, and as you can imagine, it’s a little nuts around here!
Love this community – thanks again!
-Dan
This is brilliant, both grounding and inspiring. I’m going to print it out and stick it up above my computer. I think ‘we’ is just about everyone except my most blindly encouraging buddies. When I despair about the quality of my writing, or how long it’s taking me to complete my WIP, I come quite close to deleting and burning all evidence of the manuscript. Something always holds me back. I think it is the idea of how personally satisfying it would be to complete this huge project, whatever happens to the book afterwards.
Thanks for this. Good luck with the move.
Thank you, Dan, for this post. I first saw it in your newsletter and, for me, your words came at an opportune time. A rejection recently hit me hard, very hard. Over the years, it’s been easy for me to tell writer pals to keep at it, until that one arrow pierced my shields and landed a direct hit home. I did feel like a failure for about a week. I realize I had to grieve for that loss of that particular hope. I also recently realized that a single loss isn’t the loss of all hope. The only failure is in giving up. Thanks again.
“They” are the “Enemy” until they become “Friends.”
It is so easy for writers to listen to the outside noise, because we already have the noise of anti-voices going on inside our own heads. Once we learn to step outside of ourselves, shush those voices, then we can get perspective on what is “true” and what is “false” perception.
Writers are a most tenacious bunch, and I am most honored to be one of them.
Thanks for the keep-going “shot” of encouragement, Dan! ;)
Oh this phrase is just TOO good:
“We won’t stop until you start caring less about what we say, and more about the power of your own work. Until our words hold no power over you. And likely, until that mirror you look into everyday that speaks our words in your own voice holds no power over you as well.”
Thank you. Thank you.
Patti
Wow. At this stage in my writing career, this speaks volumes to me. I’m printing it out for my office.
Thanks for the latest comments everyone!
-Dan
Spot on, Dan!
I’m still working on banishing my writing-Gollums, and enjoy those blessed days where it’s just me and the story, and no “we” whatsoever.