What NOT to Do When Beginning Your Novel: Advice from Literary Agents
By Chuck Sambuchino | April 22, 2013 |
photo by kirstyhall
GIVEAWAY: I am very excited to again give away a free book to a random commenter. The winner can choose either CREATE YOUR WRITER PLATFORM or the 2013 GUIDE TO LITERARY AGENTS. Commenters must live in the US/Canada; comment within one week to win. Good luck! (Update: Anita Hayes won.)
In a previous Writer Unboxed column, I discussed the value of starting your story strong and how an “inside-out” approach to narrative action can help your case. But just as important as knowing what to do when beginning your novel is knowing what not to do.
No one reads more prospective novel beginnings than literary agents. They’re the ones on the front lines — sifting through inboxes and slush piles. And they’re the ones who can tell us which Chapter 1 approaches are overused and cliche, as well as which techniques just plain don’t work. Below find a smattering of feedback from experienced literary agents on what they hate to see the first pages of a writer’s submission. Avoid these problems and tighten your submission!
FALSE BEGINNINGS
“I don’t like it when the main character dies at the end of Chapter 1. Why did I just spend all this time with this character? I feel cheated.”
– Cricket Freeman, The August Agency
“I dislike opening scenes that you think are real, then the protagonist wakes up. It makes me feel cheated.”
– Laurie McLean, Foreword Literary
IN SCIENCE FICTION
“A sci-fi novel that spends the first two pages describing the strange landscape.”
– Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
PROLOGUES
“I’m not a fan of prologues, preferring to find myself in the midst of a moving plot on page 1 rather than being kept outside of it, or eased into it.”
– Michelle Andelman, Regal Literary
“Most agents hate prologues. Just make the first chapter relevant and well written.”
– Andrea Brown, Andrea Brown Literary Agency
“Prologues are usually a lazy way to give back-story chunks to the reader and can be handled with more finesse throughout the story. Damn the prologue, full speed ahead!”
– Laurie McLean, Foreword Literary
EXPOSITION/DESCRIPTION
“Perhaps my biggest pet peeve with an opening chapter is when an author features too much exposition – when they go beyond what is necessary for simply ‘setting the scene.’ I want to feel as if I’m in the hands of a master storyteller, and starting a story with long, flowery, overly-descriptive sentences (kind of like this one) makes the writer seem amateurish and the story contrived. Of course, an equally jarring beginning can be nearly as off-putting, and I hesitate to read on if I’m feeling disoriented by the fifth page. I enjoy when writers can find a good balance between exposition and mystery. Too much accounting always ruins the mystery of a novel, and the unknown is what propels us to read further.”
– Peter Miller, PMA Literary and Film Management
“The [adjective] [adjective] sun rose in the [adjective] [adjective] sky, shedding its [adjective] light across the [adjective] [adjective] [adjective] land.”
– Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
“I dislike endless ‘laundry list’ character descriptions. For example: ‘She had eyes the color of a summer sky and long blonde hair that fell in ringlets past her shoulders. Her petite nose was the perfect size for her heart-shaped face. Her azure dress—with the empire waist and long, tight sleeves—sported tiny pearl buttons down the bodice. Ivory lace peeked out of the hem in front, blah, blah.’ Who cares! Work it into the story.”
– Laurie McLean, Foreword Literary
STARTING TOO SLOW
“Characters that are moving around doing little things, but essentially nothing. Washing dishes & thinking, staring out the window & thinking, tying shoes, thinking.”
– Dan Lazar, Writers House
“I don’t really like ‘first day of school’ beginnings, ‘from the beginning of time,’ or ‘once upon a time.’ Specifically, I dislike a Chapter 1 in which nothing happens.”
– Jessica Regel, Jean V. Naggar Literary Agency
IN CRIME FICTION
“Someone squinting into the sunlight with a hangover in a crime novel. Good grief — been done a million times.”
– Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
IN FANTASY
“Cliché openings in fantasy can include an opening scene set in a battle (and my peeve is that I don’t know any of the characters yet so why should I care about this battle) or with a pastoral scene where the protagonist is gathering herbs (I didn’t realize how common this is).”
– Kristin Nelson, Nelson Literary
VOICE
“I know this may sound obvious, but too much ‘telling’ vs. ‘showing’ in the first chapter is a definite warning sign for me. The first chapter should present a compelling scene, not a road map for the rest of the book. The goal is to make the reader curious about your characters, fill their heads with questions that must be answered, not fill them in on exactly where, when, who and how.”
– Emily Sylvan Kim, Prospect Agency
“I hate reading purple prose – describing something so beautifully that has nothing to do with the actual story.”
– Cherry Weiner, Cherry Weiner Literary
“A cheesy hook drives me nuts. They say ‘Open with a hook!’ to grab the reader. That’s true, but there’s a fine line between an intriguing hook and one that’s just silly. An example of a silly hook would be opening with a line of overtly sexual dialogue.”
– Daniel Lazar, Writers House
“I don’t like an opening line that’s ‘My name is…,’ introducing the narrator to the reader so blatantly. There are far better ways in Chapter 1 to establish an instant connection between narrator and reader.”
– Michelle Andelman, Regal Literary
“Sometimes a reasonably good writer will create an interesting character and describe him in a compelling way, but then he’ll turn out to be some unimportant bit player.”
– Ellen Pepus, Signature Literary Agency
IN ROMANCE
“In romance, I can’t stand this scenario: A woman is awakened to find a strange man in her bedroom—and then automatically finds him attractive. I’m sorry, but if I awoke to a strange man in my bedroom, I’d be reaching for a weapon—not admiring the view.”
– Kristin Nelson, Nelson Literary Agency
IN A CHRISTIAN NOVEL
“A rape scene in a Christian novel in the first chapter.”
– Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
CHARACTERS AND BACKSTORY
“I don’t like descriptions of the characters where writers make them too perfect. Heroines (and heroes) who are described physically as being virtually unflawed come across as unrelatable and boring. No ‘flowing, wind-swept golden locks’; no ‘eyes as blue as the sky’; no ‘willowy, perfect figures.’ ”
– Laura Bradford, Bradford Literary Agency
“Many writers express the character’s backstory before they get to the plot. Good writers will go back and cut that stuff out and get right to the plot. The character’s backstory stays with them—it’s in their DNA.”
– Adam Chromy, Movable Type Management
“I’m turned off when a writer feels the need to fill in all the backstory before starting the story; a story that opens on the protagonist’s mental reflection of their situation is a red flag.”
– Stephany Evans, FinePrint Literary Management
“One of the biggest problems is the ‘information dump’ in the first few pages, where the author is trying to tell us everything we supposedly need to know to understand the story. Getting to know characters in a story is like getting to know people in real life. You find out their personality and details of their life over time.”
– Rachelle Gardner, Books & Such Literary
GIVEAWAY: I am very excited to again give away a free book to a random commenter. The winner can choose either CREATE YOUR WRITER PLATFORM or the 2013 GUIDE TO LITERARY AGENTS. Commenters must live in the US/Canada; comment within one week to win. Good luck! (Update: Anita Hayes won.)
Have you read any story beginnings that didn’t sit well with you? We’d love to hear about it in comments!
Chuck Sambuchino is a freelance editor of query letters, synopses, book proposals, and manuscripts. As an editor for Writer’s Digest Books, he edits the GUIDE TO LITERARY AGENTS and the CHILDREN’S WRITER’S & ILLUSTRATOR’S MARKET. His Guide to Literary Agents Blog is one of the largest blogs in publishing. His own books include the bestselling humor book, HOW TO SURVIVE A GARDEN GNOME ATTACK, which was optioned by Sony Pictures, as well as the writing guide, CREATE YOUR WRITER PLATFORM. Connect with Chuck on Twitter or at his website.
I especially agree with the point about adjectives. If the first chapter is overrun with modifiers, I know not to waste my time reading the rest of the book. Thanks for the helpful post.
Very useful advice! I’ve committed a few of these faux pas in prior versions of my WIP’s opening. While it’s useful to know what agents will like (though I think in terms of what readers will like), it’s really helpful to know what will turn agents off in the first page or two.
Thanks for posting this today. I am starting to edit my first –very rough– draft and this list of don’ts is going to help with my review of my first sentence, paragraph, and page.
I know I’ve said this on another thread, but it’s actually more relevant here – my most loathed cliched beginnings, which would instantly make me put the book back on the shelf and move on, are:
– protagonist stops what they’re doing and lights a cigarette (I’m a non-smoker)
– protagonist stands in front of a wardrobe dithering over what clothes to wear (I’d rather just start with whatever important event they’re going to and take it for granted that they thought about what to put on)
I’m amazed how common both of these are, but even worse is:
– protagonist is standing in front of a wardrobe dithering over what to wear, then stops, steps back and lights a cigarette…. oh puh-leeese!
whew! quite a list!
impressive, but i get a little confused sometimes, so many opinions (even if well formulated and earned) as to “what” to do and “not” to do, it swirls like too many leaves falling to try and pick one –
and i go back to sludging with what feels right as i write
but, to be safe ;-) i’ve sent this to my kindle to read later, more leisurely, thanks so much ;-)
In a Christian novel? What the heck is that? (Full disclosure … I’m a devout, practicing Catholic and I find even the idea of such a genre unreadable. Dante must be pacing his tomb!)
Also, is it okay to start with “Someone squinting into the sunlight with a hangover” if it isn’t a crime novel and the protagonist is about to dig up the septic tank in order to get his false teeth back? I actually wrote this story.
Great, informative post. Thanks for posting it!
I don’t often read any blogs, just the titles to see if they appear to be interesting or relevant. This one was! Very good info! As a judge in a variety of genre competitions, I have come across so many of these but am continually surprised because I would have thought that Writing 101 (whatever) would cover Good Beginnings first. A pet peeve for me is beginning with dialogue of any kind but specifically a “Stop!” or some other exclamation. To me that is a lazy writer’s crutch…
I am always interested in hearing about “what agents want” or “do not want”.
I’m only commenting ‘cuz I love free stuff. Oh, wait, I opened this comment with an info-dump about myself, my favorite subject. Oh, that’s more info: I’m conceited. My backstory is leaking out as I write this…hey, that’s it. I like caliente beginnings but not so fiery that I instinctively know the rest of the book or short story can’t meet the contract and the author will be sneaking out the quiet sliding door because he she or it couldn’t maintain or do better in the end. And I like backstory that trickles out inline, like paying taxes through the year instead of in one lump money dump in April.
Viva la trickle.
“PROLOGUES”
Ugh. And just last week I wrote what I thought was an excellent prologue.
I’m doing a horror/sci-fi mash that starts with the wiping out of most of Earth’s population and ends two books later explaining why it all happened in a twist that, hopefully, stuns readers enough to make them forget how to breath for a little while.
The prologue is a very brief scene where, in typical government public relations mode, the scientists, engineers and politicians taking credit for successfully building the first fusion power plant all posing for photographers while they all press a theatrically big red button labeled “IGNITION”.
We don’t find out until a couple of chapters later that the neutrino emissions from that power plant trigger an attack that kills (or worse) five and a half billion people.
I went with prologue because none of the main characters are involved, but it’s an important event. I could have a character talk about it in dialog, but I don’t think it has the impact (especially on thinking back over the story after one is done reading it) as the scene does, played out.
Is it just as easy as changing the label to Chapter 1?
This is great information! Thanks!
Thanks for the great advice!! As a voracious reader, I’ve definitely noticed how these openings can be off-putting. And yet as a writer, these opening flaws can often creep into my work unawares.
Chuck, your blogs on this site are always among my favorites. This one was especially helpful although it did elicit a couple of chortles. I couldn’t help think of some of the classic novels I’ve read in my lifetime that violated one or more of these admonitions. As just one example I think of Nick’s prolonged introspection and self description in “The Great Gatsby.” Then there’s the long Kansas description opening “In Cold Blood.” Then, of course, was recent blog dissecting and panning the opening to “Fifty Shades of Gray.”
I suppose great story trumps poor openings. But I guess the point is that no one today gets to that story if the agent thinks the opening is poor.
How refreshing to see that none of the quotes in your post mentioned the “It was a dark and stormy night” opening.
It’s like the other shoe didn’t drop.
Thanks for posting all the helpful tips. I like knowing the “guidelines” even though I’ve heard from more than one industry professional that you can break the “rules” if it’s well done. But that’s so subjective that it’s probably smarter to heed this advice so that your work isn’t dismissed early on.
Love the advice against prologues. As a reader, I find most prologues to be lazy writing, and I hate when writers use the prololgue to tip their hand/soften a surprise coming later.
Thank you for this concise list. I think I’ve got most of these accounted for in my WIP but I am going to take another look. I think I’ve tweaked ch 1 ten times more than the subsequent chapters. Next ms I think I will write ch 1 last!
Mahalo, thank you, for posting this! Very helpful, indeed. It can be crazy when one is left alone with their work–hard to remain objective. Hard to remember that the reader doesn’t always see what we see, know what we know, etc. Good stuff!
Thanks, Chuck. Your blog title brought me to this page this morning. And I am going away having had my laugh for the day and quite encouraged about my writing.
I have to agree a strange man in the bedroom would be bad. Unless he brought coffee and donuts.
Very useful post with its multiple viewpoints. Think I shall heed some of them.
After reading many “literary agents hate this” articles, I’ve begun to wonder if the hated faux pas are only hated by literary agents, and not by readers. Agents read many more manuscripts than the average reader, and so naturally grow tired of seeing the same stylistic conventions. That the same conventions are used over and over says to me that they are natural ways for humans to tell a story. Like a meme, these conventions may be a familiar way for readers to enter a story. Agents are our gatekeepers, though, so what they think matters!
So now that we know what you DON’T like, what do you like?
Thank you, by the way, for telling us some pitfalls that I think we all, as writers tend to do. I, for one, will keep a more critical eye on my work.
I have a good friend who is represented by one of Andrea Brown’s senior agents. She was offered representation on the strength of a two-page prologue and nothing else. The agent was wowed by the quality of the writing, not the fact that it was a prologue. As a reader, if they’re well written, I’ll read them. Otherwise, I tend to skip over them. Mostly what I don’t like about prologues is when they’re written in a point of view that’s different from the story’s point of view.
I didn’t really understand why Emily Sylvan Kim’s comment was placed under “Voice.” There are two types of voice: the author’s voice and the story’s voice. The author’s voice is something that only the author can find and it’s non-negotiable. The story’s voice changes from story to story (if the author is interested in originality). I can understand that the current taste in “show don’t tell” might fall under the category of story or narrative voice, but the rest of her comment–to make the reader curious–isn’t that something that applies to the art of plot construction rather than voice?
“The first chapter should present a compelling scene, not a road map for the rest of the book. The goal is to make the reader curious about your characters, fill their heads with questions that must be answered, not fill them in on exactly where, when, who and how.” Emily Sylvan Kim
I appreciated the repeats of off-putting items. They really put a point on what not to do. I hadn’t thought about the prologue before. Like other back story information I guess it needs to be woven into the tapestry of the forward moving story.
Thanks!
This is fantastic. This one made me laugh:
“Cliché openings in fantasy can include an opening scene set in a battle (and my peeve is that I don’t know any of the characters yet so why should I care about this battle) or with a pastoral scene where the protagonist is gathering herbs (I didn’t realize how common this is).”
– Kristin Nelson, Nelson Literary
This put into words many of the reasons I choose to stop reading a book after the first chapter, too!
Chuck, would you consider making this type of post a semi-regular feature? New writers are flooded with info about what to do and how to do it, but I often wish there were more realistic advice from experts about what NOT to do. This advice about openings is excellent. Would you consider doing another post featuring expert advice on what NOT to do in dialogue, POV, endings, etc.?
Oh gosh, this is a fantastic post. I laughed a lot… but I also felt kind of uncomfortable recognizing some things I might do. Thank you for posting this!
Thanks for the great advice. The beginning of a story is so important in grabbing an agent’s and publisher’s attention. It’s great to know what not to do.
That was a great collection of no-nos :) They made me laugh and cringe at the same time. Yup, I confess.
Thank you for posting this compilation! Writers like me who are fine-tuning their manuscripts may also wish to follow agent Ann Collette on Twitter. Tweets periodically cover her “Today’s Twelve” (first-blush assessments of 12 manuscripts, each in 140 characters or less).
I have struggled a great deal with the first chapter of the book I am currently working on, and I greatly appreciate all the advice I have found on this site. Unfortunately, I find it difficult to avoid some of these things when starting a new project. For example, right now I am aware that my first chapter is a bit of an information dump. I know that I am giving too much back story. I also know that once I get further into the book, I will move a lot of these details into more appropriate places throughout the story. In a way, the first chapter starts out as a placeholder. It holds important information that I know I want the reader to learn. In fact, when the first draft of the book is complete, I will rewrite the opening entirely. This is just part of my process.
Prologue: It was a dark and stormy night in a world much different from your own.
Chap 1: I was gathering herbs on the edge of the battlefield, while a stranger stood at my bedroom window, gazing down at my flawless, willowy figure and flowing golden locks. He had the face of a Greek god, but the furrowed brow of a man with a hangover. He lit a a cigarette as I died.
Next sentence anyone?
Thank goodness the day before I’d professed the Lord as my personal Savior, so I went straight to Heaven. Herb gathering is no protection against rape and murder on the battlefield.
From my celestial vantage point, I watched him turn from the horror outside the window. I then watched him go through my closet and I realized he had taken advantage of the battle raging outside for this very reason … ‘he’ was really a woman, dressed in men’s work clothes, a refugee from a neighboring town. She was willing to bet that I would be out picking herbs, even with the rockets’ red glare, and the bombs bursting mid-air, to access my wardrobe. She took off the baseball cap and let her thick, golden hair loose around her flawless complexion. She lit another cigarette as she rifled through my clothes, trying to make up her mind. I gave her my blessing from Heaven and sent an angel to help her stop smoking and another to help her make a good choice of garb for her willowy figure.
Suddenly, I could hear my dog barking, as if from far away … was I … could it be … I WAS WAKING UP! Waking up from the most real, most vivid, most disturbing dream I had ever had!
But … wait … what was that smell?
Next sentence, anyone?
Hysterical, Rosemary – I love it.
Rosemary
What was that smell?
Well, my other pet peeve for the opening of a novel is any occurrence of incontinence on page 1, so I suppose the next sentence is:
Suddenly I realized I’d just had a terrible accident, so I rushed to my wardrobe to chose some clean clothes to put on, before my abusive step-mother noticed and took advantage of the situation by humiliating me any further.
I am struggling with the first page of a novel-I have thought about the ‘waking up from a dream,’ the ‘nothing happening’ and also with creating a disaster, but still nothing has hooked me. If I want to hook the reader, I have to devise something that hooks me as well. There is a fine balance between too much back story and not enough.
I did like the quote given upthread about how the job of the first chapter is to introduce characters and then create questions needing to be answered in the reader’s mind.
Super post, Chuck. It echoes what I’ve been advocating on my blog for nigh on to 9 years now (egads!). I’ll be posting a link to this article for my readers. Many thanks.
What puts me off is the “cast of thousands.”
When I buy a book, I never read the back cover, never read reviews, and never let anyone tell me “just a little bit” about the story. I read the first few pages, flip to the middle, read another few pages, then buy or walk away. I don’t know who the protagonist is, and if I can’t to sort him/her out of a dozen characters introduced in the first few pages, it’s an automatic no-buy.
Delicious feast of information, Chuck. I chowed on every example and will check my ms for all of these (although in the reading, I don’t think I committed any of these crimes). This one is definitely bookmarked, and is the most beneficial article I’ve read in a long time.
I needed this today. Now, it doesn’t feel like a wasted afternoon. Thanks.
Awesome tips! Keep the practical advice coming.
I like this. The points illustrate solid craft issues, like engaging your reader, or creating empathetic characters, or showing not telling. That applies anywhere in the novel, but especially at the beginning.
I imagine you could “break the rules” here and there — but you’d better do an amazing job and have a very good reason!
Thanks for the post!
I’m just laughing because I’ve had all these RULES that I gave myself over my last four published books and as well with the novella: No Prologues allowed – make them Chapter 1; no capitalization of words; no sound effects; no this, no that, no no no no, Kat, no! Now, I did break some rules and with glee, but there were those that I considered my Hard and Fast No Ever Breakee These Rules rules.
But, with this latest book, I broke just about every danged one of my rules and it felt gooooooo – ohhhhh soooo goooooood!
Yeah. Sometimes you just do what you want and skip off with a la tee dah air.
Thanks for this article. Lots of great reminders. It is good to know I am heading down the right track.
Lots of good advice. Reading any of my earlier stuff makes me cringe. I was guilty of a lot of these.
Love this! What a useful (and hilarious) compilation of agent opinion. Bookmarked!
As far as I’m concerned, any opening that doesn’t have something happening and a character reacting to it in the first few lines is starting too slow.
This is fabulous information, and I’m passing it along. Before my desktop pc crashed, I was receiving regular e-mail posts from you, Chuck (via Writer’s Market or Writer’s Digest, I think?) Are you still doing that?
Good list! It reminded me of Elmore Leonard’s maxim to leave out the stuff readers skip over and also made me think of Noah Lukerman’s great guide, “The First Five Pages”.
One maxim this reader would stress is that the opening should suit the genre; there simply cannot be one opening style that fits all stories. An 18th century-style novel can open leisurely and with great detail because the time period invites an intimate stroll to visit characters in idyllic settings or dramatic ones. A thriller, though, needs to start off with a bang of excitement, with just a nod toward the characters as we get on a rollercoaster for what we hope will be a great ride of a read.
Literary fiction is a challenge and its opening possibilities are almost endless. Too many contemporary novels ignore the basic template of a story leaving us detached from characters as if we’re only invited to see a glimpse of their lives and not asked to spend enough time to really know, and care, about them. And the whole classic template of beginning/middle/end is ignored. (Great to rearrange those, but “it” still has to be there.)
Well said!
These seem like ‘Oh I’d never do that’ but at the same time it’s easy to trip over one by doing too much–It’s also good to know it’s ok to be bored by any combination of the above mistakes!
I like to begin a story with action. I don’t want a lot of setting or back story.
I also don’t want a contrived situation like the heroine doing something ridiculous and the hero must save her.
I enjoyed the blog today, and I’d love to have my name tossed in the drawing. Thanks.
Jackie
joyfuljelatgmaildotcom
Excellent information. The gist of it is “You know what you learned in grade school about writing? Well trash it all!”
Great post – it’s good to hear what doesn’t work as well as what does. I’d love to win a copy of either book.
Excellent tips and good timing for me. I’m about to start revising the beginning of my WIP. Thanks!!
Thanks for the great post. It’s good to hear what doesn’t work as well as what does. I’d love to win a copy of either book.
Super-helpful. My biggest pet peeve as a reader is the laundry list of description–ever since I was little, this had bothered me. All the silly series I read when I was young, the first chapter was always a rehash of what every main character looked like, did, and the main facets of their personality. If you can’t weave it in, leave it out, because it’s not exactly helping your story.
This was fun to read.
Great overview and helpful list! Thank you so much.
Among all the great advice, this was my favorite line:
“The character’s backstory stays with them—it’s in their DNA.”
“Random Commenter, report to security,” the public address system blared out at LAX.
The crowded terminal buzzed with excitement as Commenter made his way through the admiring crowd.
Thanks for posting this – great advice!
Books that start too slowly and also those that introduce too many characters at once.
Yes! And everyone’s name is slightly similar.
This is a great post. I’ll be tucking this one away for future reference. Thank you :)
What a great post! Some great pieces of advice to be found in there! I agree with Sue… it’s definitely annoying when two characters have similar names. You think you’re getting to know a character when it turns out to be two different ones!
Great advice. This is something I’ve been working on a lot lately.
I once read a book that started with the narrator/protagonist talking to his passenger in a car, and the passenger was his potted fern. He continued to speak to this fern throughout the novel,although at one point the fern ended up in the trunk. This jarred me out of the novel repeatedly. I found your article interesting and helpful. Thanks! Oh, and I would love a copy of your book. Thanks again!
Sage advice from people I admire. One to bookmark. Thank you!
All very good reminders! I’m embarrassed to say I’ve done a couple…
If “It was a dark and stormy night,” is one of the worst things you can do, is it one of the best to start off on “It was was a bright and pleasant day”?
Very interesting post. I don’t like when writers describe what are often thought of as good features as though they are troublesome. “She was a little odd, with her large eyes and slight frame”……..REALLY…….I would love large eyes and a slight frame!
Thanks for the tips! I never realized rape was so common in Christian novels. Not really my focus, but good to know for the future.
Great post, Chuck! What drives me nuts is the hero seeing the lovely maiden from across a field (or a large room, or…) and noticing the color of her eyes.
Please.
Thanks, Chuck. A wonderful post that reminds us to trust our instincts. Personal pet peeves are the best guidelines for self-editing.
Biggest pet peeve opening: a prologue written in first person that explains why the protagonist needs to “tell” us the story.
Loved the examples and glad to see I’ve gotten past those issues.
I laugh and cringed while reading this. The cringing came from my first openings when I was a novice and also thinking of a few published books that have committed these sins as well.
[…] via Writer Unboxed » What NOT to Do When Beginning Your Novel: Advice from Literary Agents. […]
Great tips… thanks for the post!
I have been known to resemble some of those remarks. Not sayin’ which ones. ;)
Not only great advice, but some of these are also just downright hilarious!
Very very helpful!!!!
Hmmmm, “It was a dark and stormy night…” isn’t on this list, does that mean it’s fair game? -eg-
Some of these I knew to avoid, a few — ouch! — I’m guilty of. Keep learning.
Thanks mightily! I’ve posted this on the discussion board for my writing group.
Awesome advice. I liked that you asked a variety of agents and that you talked about different genres.
Very interesting comments. Thanks!
Well, the good news is I didn’t do any of these! Still quite sure my opening needs a lot of work, but at least I know I know what to avoid when revising. Thanks for the very helpful post!
Everything Lit Agent Chip MacGregor mentioned-hilarious & so true. Worse pet peeve: heavy backstory & starting too slow (same thing). Get to the story.
Great advice that every writer should hear! It was also great to see my agent in the mix. :)
This is a one-stop shop for so many literary “don’ts”. I am going to share this with every writer I know!
Chip McGregor’s peeve about the sort of writing that used to suffuse my writing made me laugh. I’ll be passing this post on to my writing friends.
I definitely, completely, 100% dislike books that open sexy.
Starting with the aftermath of a crime, or tumultuous event works well for me.
Very timely–I’m rewriting the beginning–again! I find I don’t like a first chapter about one character followed by a first chapter about another character and on and on… That’s okay for movie scenes because I can remember somebody I saw easier than somebody I met in a scene related to something new that isn’t related yet to the next character in line.
I have a similar quandry. I have three main story arcs that eventually intertwine and conclude at the end, but the way it’s currently set up, I’m not sure it’ll past muster.
I’ve got a prologue and a very quick first chapter that doesn’t involve any of the three main characters (one character per main plot arc). In chapter two, each one is introduced and set in their place. Though separated by thousands of miles, each is reacting to exactly the same event.
After that, the current structure of the novel goes in sequence, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, over and over again until all three are in the same place at the same time toward the end, in which I bring them all back into a single larger chapter.
While that may sound nice and layered/complex, etc, I’m worried it’s too rigid, too mechanical.
The best thing I took home from the conference I attended last year was being told by an agent/editor to trash my first page. Great tips! I’d love to win a book!
I like the suggestion in the photo: DON’T STOP.
I’m just about to tackling the edit on the first chapter of my first fantasy novel…this was just the start I needed to keep me focused. I’m horrible at editing my own work, so having a list of things to not do will help me get the ball rolling.
BTW, the create your writer platform sounds interesting. Since I’m seldom lucky enough to win things, I better check it out.
I like the list! I wanted to suggest extensive flashbacks as a no-no but that’s for the rest of the novel, not the beginning.
The point I most agree with, as an avid reader, is “False Beginnings,” especially Cricket’s quote. The other day I started reading a novel, not knowing that the main character would die a horrific death at the end of Chapter 1. But then he woke up in Chapter 2 because Chapter 1 was only only a dream. Aaarrrgh. I could not read the rest of the novel.
As for prologues, I think it’s OK if it’s kept as short as possible. Long prologues that read like novellas make me yawn and drop the book. As a writer, I try to remember all the things I don’t like as a reader, and do my best to avoid them when I write my WIPs. After all, I’m trying to write what I want to read.
I got so shredded in a crit by a professional at a conference regarding my fondness for backstory that I now have an allergy to it. Same with physical descriptions. Most of my betas tell me I need to add more. I’ll stay with that tendency and see if I can make it work for me.
Sincerely yours: Random Commenter
I had no idea an opening battle scene in fantasy was now cliche. Damn.
I recently read a highly recommended and highly regarded fantasy novel that opened with seemingly endless exposition. There was a single word of dialogue on page 7. That was the first. I’ve read textbooks with more engaging openings.
Hmm…so what about writing a prologue and simply calling it Chapter 1?
Maybe I’m a lone wolf here, but I think this piece does a disservice to writers. The first thing I thought as I began reading was: Hey, I just read a best seller that did this. And this. And this. There really are no rules. Sometimes prologues really work (THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO). Sometimes it’s exciting when the character you’ve read about all through Chapter 1 dies at the end of it (THE DA VINCI CODE). The last thing I would want for an aspiring writer who reads this is to go back and change something in their manuscript just because — generally speaking — a few agents have said they “shouldn’t” do this or that (particularly with the explosion of self-publishing). I think each manuscript should be looked at as a whole, and as an individual, and writers should stick to their guns until they are told, specifically, that something isn’t working.
“There are three golden rules for writing fiction. Fortunately nobody knows what they are.”
Ha! Exactly. :)
hahaha, loved the one about the protagonist gathering herbs. Who would have thought that would be such a popular opener? Makes me wonder what else is more common than we thought.
That would really make an interesting post!
That would really make an interesting post!
The trend I’ve noticed lately with fiction is that the opening chapter starts with a main character frustrated about something. There’s a LOT of that and damned if I’m not guilty of it.
What a great post! I’m printing this as a checklist for self-editing.
Prologues! I freakin’ hate prologues!
Great post! Excellent things to keep in mind as writer.
Thanks for the great post.
Blessings,
Jodie Wolfe
I’ve picked up too many books that start with the main character analyzing themselves and not liking their looks, their life path, their dynamics within their family, or whatever. By the time I’m three pages in, I nothing but a miserable creature and I don’t like them either.
Thanks so much for the advice. Have I read books with some of these openers? Yes. Were they some of the best books I’ve ever read? NO. More good advice for me to follow. Thanks for helping me be a better writer.
A lot of great tips here for all kinds of writers — I also liked that you’ve gone to so many different agents who deal with different genres. This list is a great tool for self-editing, I agree.
It was hard for me to ‘get into’ Dan Brown’s DaVinci Code. I found myself thinking, “Why am I reading this?” But somewhere between chapters ten and fifteen, I was hooked. In Mr. Browns defense, his chapters are like…three pages long so it was easy to overlook. lol
Thanks for all the good tips!
C.L.Marin
Even as a reader, openings that are overly descriptive or deeply engrossed in their own backstory have me closing the cover quickly. Excellent tips, thank you !
Oh wow. I am so glad I read this before editing my novel. Now I know exactly what to change and how to hook my readers! Thank you for the wonderful post. I’ll have to save this for my future projects.
I’ve heard starting with the weather is a doozy too. :)
Chuck, as a new agent, I was so happy to find your site, along with this great post. For me, as a reader, I need to get pulled in right away by the first chapter—a few threads can be introduced, but I want to feel that there is a real character to believe in, to travel with, to have a good visual image of… the voice must be true for me and resonate.
I love this post. Good to know. I have a manuscript sitting around waiting to be rewritten that starts with the dream, but I like to think I lampshaded it so it’s all right, and a little vital, because that’s the only way you’re going to learn certain things about the reticent and mildly unbalanced POV character.
It’s important to remember that these are opinions on writing, not rules. Sure, they’re opinions from people in the industry, but the industry is creativity and there certainly are markets for almost everything. Ask another set of agents how to not start a novel and you’ll get another list of “rules.”
Agents are people with specific tastes, and you will have to query many of them until you find one who shares yours. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be exceptions to any of these rules.
The first chapter should be reflective of a manuscript that you truly believe in and that you have pushed your abilities to create. I think that’s what every agent and reader would want to see.
Thank-you! I enjoyed reading the article, and not justt skimming it.
Well, I just nixed the prologue ;) It won’t work as chapter 1 because the events are far removed from the rest of the story and are things the POV character wouldn’t know… but after seeing how many of your respondents hate prologues, I’m not sure it’s worth the risk to include it!
I think prologues are a good thing. They add a bit of mystery to the beginning of a story. I’ve read some great stories by well-known authors who’ve used prologues. I suppose it’s all subjective. Thanks for the tips. :)
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Thanks for the advice. It falls in nicely with how I already feel, but I like to be aware of what agents prefer as well. I’ve very much enjoyed reading your blog!
A beginning that has me put the book down is one that does not create any emotional connection with the characters. I do not care what is happening if I feel nothing. It will have to feel natural, like I am meeting a friend, not like the author is “trying” to get me to connect.
A lot of this advice is great, but it’s also contradictory in some cases. This is because every agent, like every reader, has different things that work well for them.
As a writer, avoid the common sins like a character waking from a dream and work on the rest. Critique groups are helpful and sometimes good writing comes from writing a lot.
Definitely good advice! I wish I’d known this when I first started looking for an agent. (Of course, I’m still looking, so this is going to help me out!)
Just read a book where too many characters with too similar names were introduced all at once. Took a few chapters to get them all sorted out. Interesting enough, the main character, or the last remaining character, was never named throughout the book.
Thank you everyone, great insight.
A lot of these things could be avoided with simple imitation or a good CP. Good to know though! :)
You have such a good point, no one reads more first chapters than agents. Thanks for compiling so many good suggestions!
Thanks for the reminders! :)
As a reader I have to agree with everything listed except prologues. Sometimes they set up a conflict that you can’t wait to resolve, and sometimes they just get in the way.
Thank you for all the great advice. Unlike other advice I’ve had to sift through endlessly from well-meaning people, this advice is worthwhile and very applicable! Thanks again!
I just re-read the first pages of a couple of favorite SF novels. Dan Simmons’ Hyperion starts off with a prologue and Greg Bear’s Forge of God begins with a meticulous physical description of the central character. Both techniques violate the rules listed in the post. The point being that there are no rules.
This is very helpful advice for hopeful writers. Thanks!
oh, dear…thanks much for this! I need to revise!
I’m reading Jodi Picoult’s The Tenth Circle right now and it starts off with a prologue. I can go either way on them, as a reader. If they are well done, they intrigue me, but I usually can also see how that information can be worked into the story. In this case, Jodi could have worked the prologue in as backstory. She already worked plenty of other backstory memories into this 387-page book. So much happening!
Thank you for this post! I’ve been debating on the approach to take with my opening chapter. This will definitely help make the decision easier.
I would say this is all true most of the time, but every now and then you find book(s) like the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo books, and they spend a truly enormous amount of time drinking coffee and it somehow works. Then the Deborah Harkness books where she keeps talking about drinking tea and wearing crappy clothes really get on my nerves.
Thanks for this post. How refreshing to read NOT what to do!
What’s with those prologues? I just finished reading a bunch of stories for a contest and almost every single one began with a prologue – either specifically labelled as one, or the “first chapter”. Grr. Totally annoying.
Another was inhabited by a character who obviously thought the world of herself but who was absolutely horrid. Nasty to everyone, judgmental, but constantly described as desirable by herself. Talk about your telling, not showing. I wanted to toss the book a la Dorothy Parker.
“Getting to know characters in a story is like getting to know people in real life. You find out their personality and details of their life over time.”
Genius. I think this is a really clear way for new writers to decide what information to include/exclude in beginnings :-) Great list over all! Fun to hear specific things that happen often!
Wow. You just described everything that has made me put a book down. But I also learned some things that I can change in mine!
I always thought a prologue was an essential to a book as much as the epilogue. I added a prologue after the second edit of my novel. This article was very helpful. My editor/friend squashed my prologue. I did all the wrong things in it!
After a little rewriting in the first three chapters, I will begin my search for an agent. Writing the query letter scares me more than writing the book.
Chuck, I do appreciate all you terrific help. Your articles have been a blessing.
Thank you.
As a reviewer, I too see way too many of these terribly predictable beginnings. Also, I despise when a prologue is used and the writing for that is in a different narrative style than the rest of the book, like switching from first person present to third person past, for instance.
Well, the good news is that I think my two unpublished novels are free of these criticisms. I think…
Thanks for the tips on what to avoid in openings. Wish I had seen them before I wrote a novel with a prologue! Trying to rewrite to eliminate it would mean a major revision so I am not sure whether to do it, or keep submitting, or stick it in a drawer.
Brilliant post! I’ve read a few books where I just couldn’t get past a few things or that I still didn’t care what happened to the MC. If I’m not in love with it by pg. 10, I’m done.
“If I’m not in love by page 10 I’m done” As a published author of ten books I find this statement sad. We live in an instant gratification society. We also live in a contradictory one as well. Don’t info dump, don’t bog the reader down with backstory. I agree, salt that stuff through, but my God… Give the author a chance to build off of some type of foundation so they can escort the reader through the rest of the story. Ten pages. I guess that means if I were to ever meet you I’d give you ten sentences and then say “See ya” Lol
Thanks for the information. I appreciate hearing specifics from agents as I go through my first editing pass.
These are fantastic. Thanks for sharing, Chuck!
Though I can not think of a specific beginning in a book, I can say that those that have made the book drag on, and the pages feel like five pound weights, are those who write from a characters dialogue within their heads too often. Especially when the characters become overly descriptive about their environment or feelings. It’s like the writer becomes too desperate for the reader to see or feel what is going on, not realizing that not all readers have such an imagination, or care to use theirs. You want to make your writing your own, and fitting for your genre, but open to all varieties of readers. Not saying you have to change your stories to make everyone happy, but expect that if you don’t take precaution, you may loose many readers within the first chapter of your book.
I am so glad to have come across this, and plan to use the guidance in my own writing. Thank you so much :)
It’s great to see the insight into what editors are [not] looking for – thanks for the great article. These offer a few ‘aha’ moments and a few more “Somebody really did that?” moments.
Good. Apparently my cliché detector is functioning properly. I hope it stays the course past chapter one!
Lots of great advice & examples! Thank you. :)
Someone squinting into the sunlight with a hangover in a crime novel. Good grief — been done a million times.”
– Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
^Haha, finally someone said it, and what relief to know I did not fall into that trap. Though, I do have a prologue. Eek, I must sit and think about this.
Are there any exceptions? Those would be interesting to know.
Wow, those are some really valid points. I love how one person said that their back-story is in their DNA… I never thought about that. I give way to much back story. Time to go edit!
I think my pondered prologue just shrunk to one sentence. Wait, did I say prologue? I meant, the first line of the story.
Thank you for the very thought provoking post! It was an enjoyable read.
As a romance novelist, this was most helpful; I am guilty of the “stranger in the bedroom” cliche. Thank you!
Damn…and I was going to start my latest Christian novel with a rape scene.
This was awesome. I was surprised how many of those beginnings I have seen before. (And how many I tried out in earlier work.)
I am guilty of more than one of these!!! Thanks so much–very entertaining read :D
Enjoyed all of the advice, but the prologue info was probably the most eye-opening and helpful. Who knew? I’m already trying to determine how the prologue could be mixed into the main story line.
Starting a novel with “Call me Ishmael” is now a no-no? I suppose that makes sense. Any clear tactic that once worked so well that it’s now another author’s trademark is a tactic for everyone else to avoid.
Finding the perfect place to begin a story can often times be the most difficult. Thanks for the excellent advice!
I think that’s another good point, the perfect place to start. How to take the themes, tone, character, dramatic question, and setting and make it all flawless. … It’s a lot of head banging against the keyboard.
Thank you! This advice is awesome!!
I especially like the one about the woman waking up to find a strange man in her bedroom and thinking about his attractiveness. I like a good romance with some grip on reality and am instantly turned off one where the heroine is dumber than a bag of hammers.
Great advice here. It pays to be constantly reminded so we don’t slip into making the same mistakes over and over.
So pleased to read a list of writing mistakes without hitting the “ouch” when I recognize my own. Hope that is not just because I did not recognize it.
This is all great advice! Only give backstory details when absolutely necessary to forward the plot. An opening scene should really matter and if it is interesting, that will intrigue the reader and keep them turning the pages.
Wow! I needed to read this. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
What a great list! I hope to write one day, and I really enjoyed the varied opinions.
Excellent advice, but some challenging ones too. We want the plot right away, but we want to know enough about the character to care what happens to them in the plot. Weaving those things together just the right way is not an easy skill to learn.
I really enjoyed this post. I’ve seen many articles along the lines of, “ls Your Character a Mary Sue?”
This is required reading for any writer trying to make it.
But you know, there are exceptions to every rule, and sometimes rules are made to be broken. I think, in the hands of skillful writers can come up with cool things subverting this list
Thanks for this. Simple little guidelines that seem obvious but are easy pitfalls and cop outs. Also, I’ve actually met Peter Miller at a writers’ workshop. Small world!
Great reminders. Thanks!
Thanks for this – sharing it with my writerly friends.
I wonder whether Google has developed an algorithm that can provide statistics on the common patterns found in the first chapters of novels. (I’ll be they have.) It would be fascinating to see how common our writing foibles are.
Thanks for the perspective. Most enjoyable.
Thank you for this. I am working on my novel and each and everyone one of these was tremendously helpful!
I think instinctively we all know how important it is for a novel to pull in the reader without prelude, and to wear a memorable title and start with a magnetic opening. As a reader I can recall the first (and last) lines of my very favorite books — and not just the classics. Yet as a writer I struggle about how best to introduce the people in my head to a reader. This advice is a good kick in the pants.
This is a great list. As I read, I kept thinking, “Oh, I hate when a book does that!” over and over again. Wonderful advice to writers!
Thanks for the great advice! Many novels I’ve read start with these type openings — something different is always a breath of fresh air.
Ok…Chapter 2 is now officially Chp. 1. You’re absolutely right, dammit. Bless you.
I have a novel written but it does have a prologue… not because the story doesn’t start with the inciting incident but because my MC’s fall unconscious in it. To deal with this, I start my novel from the pov of the villain. My beta’s are still getting back to me with whether or not it works, but I really like how it turned out regardless.
I chopped off the first three chapters of my first book after reading these kinds of blogs and advices! Then sent it through critique groups on line. Now joined a local writers’ group and they love it – on my fifth and sixth rewrite! Should have read all this first! LOL
Hi!
Never commented before. Interesting how so many of the things “Not to do” can actually contradict each other. Maybe best just to write your story and go for it!
Thank you for the great advice!
Very helpful actually for me who is doing without prologue to get to meat of story.
Happily, I have not done any of these things before. Of course, I haven’t written too many fiction pieces. But in the ones I’ve written, I’ve never done them. So I’ve got that going for me.
Good post, certainly some pitfalls to be wary of. For me I don’t like books the come off as preachy, especially if they start off that way. If I wanted to read a morality play, well, I’d read a morality play…
I was also surprised about the anti-prologue sentiments. A great many of my favorite books kept me reading on because of an intriguing prologue. It would be interesting to find out if this is this opinion of the majority of literary agents or just those represented here.
Very interesting thoughts! Thank you!
Really interesting to hear this stuff. Most of this I’ve managed to avoid but skipping the prologue is interesting I wouldn’t have thought of that. Also I could avoid a bit of the ‘info dump’ thing. Hard to find a balance between fleshing out your scene and going too far.
Brilliant! Thank you for the great direction.
Excellent tips. Starting seems to be the hardest part.
Such a useful list! Thank you.
Well, crud. Both my novels, one sci-fi and one contemporary, start out with a dream. No wonder nobody likes them.
The worst is when an author is trying to be too mysterious about something (plot, a character, surprise ending, etc.) Its okay to keep your reader in the dark about some things, but don’t make it so that the reader feels blind. Because this ends up confusing them, not engaging them. Readers are smart and intelligent, treat them as such.
I agree very much. I had never put it in so many words, but I feel the same way (mostly). I remember one of my first writing teachers telling me start the story ‘in media res.’
This is great information, especially for a novice novelist! Now excuse me, I have some serious editing to do ….
Novels which begin with a list of ‘dramatis personae.
If there are so many characters of such importance that they need to be listed, it’s too much for me.
Then, I would have turned down Hilary Mantel. . . .
I can’t say “The [adjective] [adjective] sun rose in the [adjective] [adjective] sky, shedding its [adjective] light across the [adjective] [adjective] [adjective] land.” ?
There goes my “novel-bot” idea!
Thanks for the great advice. I especially like “The goal is to make the reader curious about your characters, fill their heads with questions that must be answered, not fill them in on exactly where, when, who and how.” What a great guide for new authors!
Most of the tips are extremely helpful.
But I don’t agree completely about the false beginnings one.
I mean, if it’s useful, with a meaning towards the story, a plot starting with a dream, for example, might be alright. It’s all depends how it is done. Of course, a plot starting with a dream just for effects purposes, are cheating.
About a character that ends up dying later, I don’t see a problem at all. Depending what kind of story is, that might work great. Like in Game of Thrones, that main character that every reader probably enjoyed a lot and dies later, I thought it was a great decision. It’s like real life. Everyone that we know and love, might die any time.
Really helpful. Thanks for providing this. It’s already got me thinking about a re-write.
Excellent overview of common mistakes. They’re much easier to make than people think (or WANT to think), and it’s great to hear it from the people who see it every day.
Imagine my relief when I realized my first novel doesn’t fall into any of these traps. Whew!
Keep the posts coming please!
These comments are so useful and give me lots to think about. Now I need to stare down my 1st chapter & see who blinks first! Thanks for the great advice!
That is great advice! Thanks for sharing. ^_^ I find the bit about prologues especially interesting. I like reading them myself, mainly because it gives a taste of the world before I jump right in. But, to each their own I guess :)
The dislike for prologues is surprising and definitely good to know. I had always viewed them as a quick device for orientating a reader to world building in SF and fantasy novels.
Great advice! I don’t mind prologues either, but I haven’t seen one that was just an info dump, probably because they don’t get published! I was reading a book (admittedly it was a cheesy book) and the author said something was a “mute point” and I had to stop reading. :D
Wow. One of the best posts in a long line of excellent posts.
On prologues. GUILTY as charged in my emerging novel.
Take it out?
I have a strong will and a weak won’t. But why spit in the face of (generally) excellent experience-based advice? Rewrite time!