Social Media Suicide
By M.J. Rose | August 21, 2012 |
People often complain about the narcissism of our moment, how everyone is posting and writing and talking about themselves. I worry about that…. such constant self-regard must surely mangle the soul… sometimes, I feel as if we’ve tipped the scales too far. Way too much skin on display. People are too readily encouraged to hurl their secrets into the void. I worry about anyone who is lighting themselves on fire for our enjoyment. I worry about the bloggers and viral stars who have burned up so much of themselves for the prize of a few thousand followers. Our attention span is so short these days. One minute you’re a meteorite lighting up Google Trends, the next minute you fall back to earth, another piece of ugly, busted-up coal.
– Sarah Hepola in an essay in The New York Times Magazine Aug 11th, 2012.
Social media buzz can lead to huge successes when people spread the word about something they love and want to share. But authors creating their own buzz? Making their own noise? It’s hard to make a lot of noise on our own about our own work. Except, sadly, negative noise.
But oh the pressure!
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking our careers will come to a standstill, or worse, crash and burn if we aren’t social media butterflies.
Except if you start looking you’ll find a lot of very, very successful authors who have a website and a Facebook fan page they barely bother with and that’s it.
For every E.L. James who climbed her way to stardom on fan fiction message boards there are dozens of authors who exhaust social media outlets (and themselves) and get almost nothing out of it.
And then there are other authors who make fools of themselves online with posts and tweets that accomplish the opposite of their goal. It’s so easy to look foolish on line. Phoniness is spotted a mile away. It can be better to have no followers that a thousand following you, not because you are beloved, but because people love watching a train wreck.
Recently Stephen Leather made a lot of noise when he went public about creating sock puppet accounts to hype his own work and belittle others online. He did it, many said, to get attention. And he did get attention. A ton. But it was all negative attention and reports are it didn’t boost his book sales at all. Quite the opposite, in fact.
They used to say even bad press is better than no press. But if you read between the posts and the tweets these days you find a lot of readers turning away from authors because of their relentless self promotion, or manners or opinions or neediness or their ego.
Twitter is worth it if you like tweeting. Same is true of Facebook. Or Pinterest. Nothing wrong with having a social presence. But it’s not a salve or a solution or magic bullet.
So why do so many of us think it is? Because we don’t know what else to do? Because we feel peer pressure? Mostly I think it’s because even though social media is a flawed solution to real marketing and real word of mouth, it’s what everyone else is doing. It’s free and there’s no barrier to entry.
And because our publishers and agents are encouraging us to do it. (Hell, a lot of them are doing it too.)
All this without there being real evidence that this is the best use of our time or talents. All this because of one writer here and one there who have used social media with amazing results. But it’s always a mistake to use anecdotal evidence and exceptions as proof of a theory.
Another problem with social media is even if we’re good at it, we don’t ever feel we’re good enough at it. It’s hard to be noisy enough. Or bold enough. Or exciting and clever enough all the time. There are always more friends to find. More followers to attract.
In a recent article at Salon, Laura Miller said that 1.1 million new authors had been added to the Kindle store in the last 24 months and that it’s harder than ever to find a new title in the giant sea of new titles unless you know what you are looking for.
So take a deep breath before you berate yourself for not getting further faster. Give yourself permission to stop before you push yourself past your comfort zone.
While a presence on social media outlets can be valuable it can’t– except in unusual cases–take the place of strong publisher support. And even more important, it can very seriously interfere with nourishing our creative souls.
I’m not suggesting we all desert social media. But it’s important to stop every once in awhile and take stock of the time we have and judge how we want to spend it. Our writing time, the time we spend reading, going to movies, museums, eating, cooking, seeing family & friends – all our recharging time is precious. We need nourish ourselves and our craft. Because if we don’t we won’t have anything to post @Twitter.
Photo courtesy Flickr’s Martin Gommel
M.J. Rose is the international and NYT’s bestselling author of several novels and two non-fiction books on marketing. In 2005 she founded the first marketing company for authors, AuthorBuzz, and is the co-founder of BookTrib and Peroozal. She’s a founding member of ITW.
A most welcome post, M.J. Yes, a platform would be nice, but…
I will continue to blog on my web site because it gives me an outlet for some of my observations and practice at communicating. How many are reading it? Precious few. I do it for myself, basically, and there is no ‘sell’ there.
I will continue to be a ‘regular’ on WU to learn from fellow authors. But, sell through WU? Hardly. It’s just the best, best entry into converstations of the community of writers and I value it.
While a presence on social media outlets can be valuable it can’t– except in unusual cases–take the place of strong publisher support. And even more important, it can very seriously interfere with nourishing our creative souls.
There’s a graph that should probably be taped to the top of every writer’s computer. That said, I think you’ve hit on why Writer Unboxed is, for me, a paradox. It’s both a time-consuming endeavor and a truly nurturing one.
Just want to thank you, Therese, for the time you spend in what is clearly a labor of love here at WU.
I agree with MJ’s arguement’s here, but I think what you’ve done with WU is the absolute opposite of what she’s talking about. WU was never just about ‘look at Therese and Kath’ or ‘buy their books’ the way some are doing it on Twitter and fb. We are here because you always offered value–plain and simple. WU has evolved into the wonderful community it is because it is the spitting image of, and a tribute to, its wonderful mamas.
I’m sorry for the paradox, and I understand it, but please never doubt for a moment the value of what you’ve created and nurtured here. It is greatly appreciated!
Folks like you make this one of the best ventures of my life, Vaughn. Really. Thank YOU.
I’ve noticed that about social media: it excites but seldom nourishes. Also, it’s addictive — not by accident but by design.
Twitter is my favorite platform, but I’ve often had to step back and deny myself more time on it. Creativity demands time to think and what I call ‘sacred space,’ i.e., a state that combines the right attitude (serenity) with a comfortable place to write.
MJ, I couldn’t agree more about the need to judge how we spend out time. There’s a real need for each author to do a cost-benefit analysis of time spent on social media v. time spent on more enduring creative endeavors.
But question for you: you mention that social media “can’t – except in unusual cases–take the place of strong publisher support.” What, then, would you advise those with no publisher? That is all the millions of indie / self-pubbed authors out there for whom social media is simply the most accessible and cost-effective tool?
Thanks!
I love this post. Some of the best advice I ever got was from the fabulous Therese Walsh. I was lamenting my discomfort (and my lack of understanding) of Twitter. Therese asked, “Do you want to be more of a presence on Twitter?” When I said, “No,” she said, “Then you don’t have to!”
(I paraphrased of course.)
My brain’s not wired for Twitter . . . or I suppose, because of the fragile wiring in my brain, Twitter makes me feel confused and nervous. It’s also way too short for someone who likes to write in 141 characters.
So to your point, we need to do what’s comfy and natural. Period. Thanks for the reminder and the permission, MJ!
Thanks, Sarah, so glad that was helpful. And you know what? I think you’ve hit on the perfect middle ground for someone who doesn’t really want to be on Twitter. You’re still *there* in that you have an account and occasionally post, and we can tag you if and when we want and need to. You’re not Twitter-invisible even if you’re Twitter-uncomfortable.
Aagh…just spent 15 minutes writing a response and forgot about the secret code thingy and my computer burped and gave up its hold on my words. Oh, and they were so clever.
Gotta write it again, but I’m behind on my blog. Horrors. [**sarcasm**]
I am very grateful for this post. Social media anxiety has been dogging me off and on ever since I realized I had to jump into the pool, because I want to be, um, like read.
Social Media for writers turns out to be like a never-ending junior high school dance. You can never post enough; never comment enough; never have enough followers; but what would happen if you stopped playing the game?
Oblivion? A while ago, I actually realized I had almost stopped reading books because I spent so much time on social media.
Suicide. Exactly. Thank you for the expression of sanity.
I always tell writers who feel pressured to get on the latest social media platform that if they don’t like it or understand it, don’t do it. For the life of me I could never figure out MySpace. As you said, my brain wasn’t wired that way somehow. Glad you had Therese to back you up there.
Such a timely post for me M.J. It’s true as an unpublished writer you feel this need to constantly put yourself out there. But I have thought about JK Rowling, Stephanie Meyers, and Suzanne Collins here recently – none of them put themselves out there in the social media frenzy. And they’ve done quite well! :-D I find myself actually growing tired of the need to put myself out there for the masses in hopes of building a following well before I even have a publishing contract (heck, an agent!). I’d much rather focus this time on my writing.
Thank you for speaking the truth – such great wisdom here!
M.J. — if you were here “IRL,” I’d buy you a cuppa coffee. Great post! Here’s the nutshell for me: “Phoniness is spotted a mile away.”
Now, off to google up the NYT Hepola article.
Thanks all and Sharon – there’s the problem – social media isn’t a tool. It’s a way to communicate with people. Not sell them. So what you need to do is use it to meet people and develop relationships and then figure out how you can ask your friends to help. For instance. If you give 10 people who know you your book and ask them if they like it – to mention it on Facebook and Twitter and if they actually do like it and write about it you will sell more books from that honest word of mouth than you can from a month of tweeting and facebooking yourself. If you email me at MJRoseauthor at gmail. com – I’ll fwd you the example. I can’t post it in messages – its too long. Also Doug Clegg and I wrote a book about what you can do – Buzz your Book – which I’ll send you free.
Thank you.You just tipped the scales on a decision I’ve been wrestling with for the last few months: to reduce my social media presence or to keep it up.
I’ve been complaining for a while that I’m so busy tweeting, Facebooking, etc that I don’t have time for real writing. I’ve also found the time I invest in social media has a very poor return for me; I tend to find that while I am diligent in retweeting, sharing, doing serious book reviews, spreading the word for other authors…well, everyone thanks me prettily, but strangely there’s no reciprocal social media interaction. And all this trying to cope with real life demands at the same time! No wonder I don’t have time for writing.
I’ve been asking myself, if I drop of SM tomorrow to concentrate on my real life and on my writing, would I even be missed? Would it make any difference to how my books are received? The answer I came to, as painful as it is, was “no.”
I’m starting to wean myself off SM. I’ll keep an open door so that, if I need to, I can easily slip back into the social media stream. But for the moment, I’m cutting down on my SM presence. If my stories are good enough (which I hope one day they will be) reader word-of-mouth will be the best recommendation.
A balanced, well-written article which resonated with me. Thank you.
I have ‘unfollowed’ many authors because their tweets screamed nothing but “buy my book”. It’s like watching only commercials on TV. You are writers. If you can’t think of anything clever to say, maybe tweet links to interesting articles. Mix something in with the ads. Otherwise, I lose interest.
Amen to this post! I’ve read and strongly recommend Buzz Your Book. It’s filled with helpful, effective suggestions. You can pick and choose, do the ones with which you’re comfortable.
So true.
I just decided way back to be myself. To have fun.
There are times I worry about “not doing enough” but I let it slide off my shoulders. There’s no magic pill to take or button to push.
MJ, this subject has been top of my mind for a while. Lots of life-altering decisions being made with little to no evidence of efficacy. Meanwhile, they do actual harm.
Just yesterday I saw an author berating someone on Twitter for not following them back. I don’t know if they were feeling frantic or entitled, but they didn’t even have the wherewithal to take it to DM. I’m sorry to say this wasn’t a one-off when I looked at their tweets, so I made the rare-to-me decision to unfollow and block. Social media suicide, indeed. Unhappy author, unhappy audience. Just a waste all around.
Thanks for the kind words about the book Lynne – anyone who wants a free ebook of it can email me at MJRoseAuthor at gmail.
And I’m so glad to see these comments – its freeing for me too – I’ve been struggling with these issues. My new novel was suffering and since I cut back I’ve gotten back to a kind of fiction writing I haven’t had for a few years. Not all weaned – but I’ve cut bak about 50%.
Jan – I cross posted with you – yes – watching that kind of stuff makes my head hurt. And I see it too. All the time. I keep trying to follow non writers on Twitter just to read something of substance:) I know we all feel desperate but this kind of social media madness isn’t the solution.
Yes. I read THE SHALLOWS: WHAT THE INTERNET IS DOING TO OUR BRAINS last month, which has given me much food for thought. I’m working through a post on this exact subject and would love to link back here.
This is just so important to remember — because there’s so much hype out there that makes it feel like if you don’t participate you’ll either miss out or miss the boat. I enjoy Twitter and Facebook but often spend too much time at it for FOMO (fear of missing out), which by itself is not a good reason to spend lots of time social networking….
Valuable post, MJ. Thanks for writing it. What we’re seeing with social media, I think, is an on-going maturation process. The “baby years” were extremely self-centered–look what I had for lunch! We’re now in the “tween years” or maybe the “teen years,” still self-centered but beginning to think beyond the world of our self. The “adult years” are yet to come.
I did have a problem, though, with a statement you made toward the end of the post: “While a presence on social media outlets can be valuable it can’t–except in unusual cases–take the place of strong publisher support.” As a many-times-published author, you get that support. New writers get virtually none, if that, as I’m sure you know. Which leaves us with social media, among other things, as we scramble to do what publishers used to do. So part of OUR maturation is to learn how to use the marketing tools available to us, including social media, in smart ways.
Ross – very true. To be clear. I wasn’t suggesting that publishers always give support or that all writers get enough support. I’m saying that social media can’t replace real marketing. So for new authors or self pubbed authors or mid list authors who don’t get support – I’m saying misusing social media or making yourself crazy over it is not the solution.
That I’ll agree with, MJ. Thanks.
First of all, I adore you, M.J.; what a pioneer for author marketing! You’ve taught me so much over the years, and this, THIS, came at the right time. As a marketer in my day job, I’m on social media, and as an author and new publisher of a small press, I’m on and advocate being on social media for connection, but alas, I found myself this summer so behind on my writing projects and looming publishing deadlines that I had to take a hiatus from social media- popping in infrequently to check replies…and feeling guilty about it. I didn’t see that my Amazon sales hurt from my not being on there, so that comforted me. What did help sales? A blogger with a huge audience featuring me all month long – just as a beach read, not an ad program.
I am building a social readers’ club (Wings) and I’ll enjoy experimenting with how to build that community, but first, the words.
xo
Really fantastic post. I appreciate the sanity and the self-care involved in this. Naomi Dunford from the site ittybiz.com once had a movement called “Keep Social Media Social” and encouraged people to realize that social media “sales” are peripheral — you’re not on there to use it as ad space or a press release feed.
I think that if you can be authentic, “be yourself out loud,” without breaking your own necessary and healthy boundaries, you’ll attract the right readers. Of course, I’m still testing that theory.
Love that opening quotation, and really appreciate this valuable reminder. Social media seems to be the new rat race – or at least one of them. It’s good to remember that we don’t have to be rats, we don’t have to run.
I needed this post right now–thank you! Social networking isn’t something I love (even though I’m a sociable person!), but there’s a certain amount of pressure to put yourself out there. And when your time is limited and the deadlines are mounting…well, something has to go. For me, that something is Twitter, blogging, and Facebook. These days, time at the computer has to be writing time. Writing is, after all, what pays the bills.
It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who doesn’t think social networking is a magic rocket to the top.
Thank you so much, M.J., for this welcome reminder to step back and evaluate what’s important. Wonderful advice, as always!!
M.J.-
Argh! And I was almost finished making those sock puppets! Will have to give up on that idea, I guess.
This is such a refreshing post. You are so right when you say that social media aren’t selling tools but rather a way to communicate. In fact, I’ve seen at least one industry study that shows that FB and Twitter do little to excite book purchases.
What they do is connect authors and fans, which is really (when we’re talking about fiction) the whole point of all promotion. Think about it: Why do readers go to traditional bookstore signings? To hear the plot of a new novel? No. To see in person an author they already love.
Social media serve the same purpose online. It’s a way for readers to connect, to feel a bond with someone who has engaged their imaginations, stirred their hearts, who feels like a friend.
The most effective online promotion, I believe, is done by the e-book publisher Open Road. The centerpiece of their campaigns is a mini-documentary video, which focuses not on titles but on the life of an author. Plot doesn’t sell novels, but a writer’s personal story can engage potential readers.
Thanks, M.J., for dialing down the burner under the social media hype and hysteria. Social media have a place, but it’s a small piece of a much bigger puzzle. Success really starts somewhere else.
Social media has been a positive, anxiety producing experience for me! Positive in that I have been able to connect with some amazing people, and anxiety producing exactly because I don’t amass the huge following others do. Your post highlights a much kinder and balanced view of social media. It was refreshing to read! Thanks!
Thank you all for your responses – it made this effort so gratifying. The post came about through my own sense that I have not been nurturing my creative soul enough and guessing many of us aren’t.
Donald – I so so so agree about what soc media is great for it totally is great for connecting people. For instance at Twitter I do a search on my books titles and my name every few days and thank readers who are reading me and that connection feels great and they love it and me too.
And that study – was it Peter Hildick Smith’s? Its scary how little soc media from author selling does play into results.
Very timely. I think the worst thing is that a lot of the writers have no clue they’re spamming. They hear “get 10 tweets out a day to stay visible” and start sending link after after link after. Then they turn to automation like Social Oomph to keep up.
I’m on a hashtag that’s been overrun by spammers. It was intended for conversation among writers, but it probably got listed somewhere as a writing hashtag. So writers moved in and started autospamming. They didn’t even pay attention to what the hashtag was — they just figured writers would see their promotions and buy their books. The owner decided to take back the hashtag, and a lot of the members started email the spammers. A lot of them didn’t think they were spamming, and there’s one — a serial spammer with 3 Twitter accounts — who completely denies she’s spamming. And meanwhile, we see the same handful of tweets from her hitting the hashtag every single day, which are then retweeted by at least three minions. Every single day, we still have to report some 20 spammers, hoping Twitter will ban them eventually.
It also made me rethink how I was tweeting though. I used to send out the required ten tweets a day — I was trying to mix it up with links, RTs and quotes, in addition to what conversations I could find in the spam. I ended up cutting the links I was sending down to four, and I focused specifically on finding something to say on the link rather than just sending the title like everyone else does. Before, I could send out 10 links and maybe one would get clicked on. Now nearly always, all four get interest. Keeping the links minimal also allows me time to have conversations instead of trying to find links.
Lara Schiffbauer and I (virtually) met through platform building challenge. The best part of the challenge was not in creating over night platforms that Google bots fawn over, but in the community of writers that formed to share deeper experiences. We cheer each others’ successes and assuage each others’ disappointments and fears. It’s the social in social media that has helped me ever so steadily become a better writer, find my unique voice, establish a community, and develop a readership. As long as I view it as a marathon that incorporates the journey into the end goal and not a sprint off a cliff, I’m enjoying the race.
Superb post, and absolutely wonderful attitude.
I’m so grateful for having found WU (here and on FB) and for being able to witness such a great community thrive. Thank you so much for staying on top of things, for setting clear priorities and sharing your insights with us.
The comments I made at Harrogate weren’t about trying to attract attention, I was just trying to answer a question honestly. Obviously I have learned my lesson on that front! But it’s not true to say that I use sock puppets to belittle others. And I don’t post bad reviews using sock puppets. But sure, I’ve tweeted under different names and will continue to do so. And I don’t see that I should be forced to use my own name on forums because when I do more often than not I end up being abused!
Did it hurt sales? Nope. Not in the least. My eBook sales and rankings have held steady, pretty much, over the past month. And my book False Friends was in the Sunday Times Top 10 Hardback Bestseller List for two weeks at the height of the backlash from my sockpuppet comments. Let’s not forget that I sold more than half a million eBooks last year and that has more to do with quality and price than social media.
I would love to discuss my thoughts on marketing and promotion but sadly at the moment it would get drowned out in a torrent of abuse so I’ll not bother. I will be blogging on it shortly, though. I’m also going to be blogging about the hate campaign that has pretty much forced me off Twitter…. There are some real haters out there and they are helped by blogs like yours repeating unsubstantiated allegations.
Anyway thanks for mentioning me – all publicity is good publicity. It really is!
Stephen – it’s certainly your right to think all press is good press but there are so many authors I can point to who have lost many readers by their social media effort and many readers who reacted in a negative way to your revelations.
I was not debating your success and sorry if you thought I was – nor was I denying you’ve sold the number of books you say you have.
The point of my post was that social media is not the best marketing solution or perfect path to having a successful career. And that it can in fact be a huge waste of time and that we can put too much pressure on ourselves trying to use social media as a sales tool. Of course there are authors who do it well – the post wasn’t for them.
WOW! All around excellent post. Gonna keep this one on speed-dial for those moments when I’m on the edge of being-doing-thinking crazy :-O
As someone before me said, I’m growing tired of putting myself out there on Facebook and feeling compelled to tweet and blog and comment! I want to scream sometimes because I have other things I want/have to do and yet feel the pull toward the social media craze. I cut back on all of it about two weeks ago when I went on vacation and now I’m staying “cut back”. I noted that I was becoming obsessive and that’s not good.
I loved our take on this.
Patti
MJ–thank you so much for putting into words what fatigues and stresses me out about so much of the social media landscape. I have pulled back significantly from following Twitter and FB because of the relentless self promotion. I interact with people I value and who converse with me; not people engaged in a one way shouting match.
I enjoy the FB WU group because it’s so focused on relationships and good conversation.
I continue to blog because it’s an extension of my journal habit and morning pages.
But mostly, I’m working on writing the next thing.
Now, to not buy into the guilt over it. :)
[…] of bad ideas, M. J. Rose (@MJRose) discusses how not to commit Social Media Suicide on Writer Unboxed. Of course, don’t write stupid things is part of her prescription. So is […]
I just wanted to thank you for this post. I read it at the right time. I’ve been trying to figure out my relationship with social media and whether or not it’s doing me any good. I am trying to focus on the real purpose of my blog, which is to help people, and stop worrying about how many followers I have on the blog, Twitter, FB. It has become more of a drain on me than anything that nourishes me. And the social media has definitely taken time and, most importantly, energy away from my writing.
Love this post. I’m unpublished, still in the first draft stage here and all I see about the publishing end of things where ever I go is platform, marketing, blah blah blah. I like having a blog, I like posting my musings, but the idea of trying to be my own publicity agent too is so daunting. This post makes me think, of good things, hopeful things!
Thank you, MJ. I love what you said in the comment above, and again and again in the post: Social media is not a sales tool. It’s a means of communication. I agree. I’ve met so many great people online, and that is where the value is for me. Thank you for this excellent reminder.
Thank you for a wonderful post. I sometimes feel I have to make my presence known on twitter and all the other social media. I enjoy them, but don’t want to bombard people and make them think I am annoying. This article really helped to see that doing small things can be better.
any good business takes a break to watch it grow organically. Push push then watch. Also since I started to put together a month-long blog Halloween party, I have found its actually FUN to connect with like-minded souls (from beyond? LOL) and be of service for ALL OF THE CONTRIBUTORS> editing their posts, adding pix, giving them promo vid and tweets. SO much fun. Who cares if its pays off? Its a blast! Then . . . a vacation.