The Darkness Within
By Ann Aguirre | December 14, 2011 |
At some point in your career, you may write something that offends. That’s the nature of the job. But don’t feel that you must choose the safe course for fear of running aground. The beauty of fiction is that we can explore dark themes to our heart’s content — without anyone ever getting hurt for real. We can think about scenarios that trouble us without real casualties.
I don’t know about other authors, but I don’t impregnate my work with my agenda: political, religious, or otherwise. When I write something, I do it because it suits my world and my characters. Depending on their age, gender, and upbringing, they can’t always know what I do. Their views can’t (and shouldn’t) reflect mine, all the time. Plus, if my characters do bad things, they can learn from them. I find it’s far more moving and powerful to write about someone climbing out of a dark hole than for that character never to fall.
It can be upsetting when people say things about you and you can’t rebut. In fact, you’re not supposed to acknowledge that detractors exist.. because you, as the author, have all the power. Yet I have a colleague who suffered through such a hate campaign, based on a cute middle grade book she wrote, that she cried pretty much every time she checked her email. What did she do that was so terrible? She wrote a book. Whether someone likes a book or not, this kind of online harassment is over the line. I have another friend who has a cyber stalker, who started as a reader. The things she’s received as a result of this obsession are rather terrifying.
So what do you do when a reader extrapolates erroneous personal data, based on what you’ve written? It can be bad if they make judgments about what kind of person you must be, and just make comments online. But sometimes, as above, they take it a step further. And what’s your recourse? Some authors will put people in their books in retaliation. Obviously, I don’t think that’s a good idea for so many reasons. First, it’s unprofessional. Second, it cannot serve the story, which is the writer’s foremost responsibility. I don’t advocate that by any means, but what’s left? In some cases, it makes sense to report the unwanted contact with the authorities, but they’re not always talking directly to you. Sometimes it’s more like libel.
I wish I had the answers. But all I can do is open the topic for discussion. What do you think?
Photo courtesy Flickr’s *Jeffrey*
Ann Aguirre is a bestselling, multi-published author with a degree in English Literature. She is a prolific writer, with nine releases planned for 2011 alone. She writes romantic science fiction and urban fantasy under her own name. As Ava Gray, she writes high-octane romances. She also writes “hot paranormal apocalyptic action” with fellow author Carrie Lofty under the pseudonymn Ellen Connor. Follow her on Twitter.
That’s a tough spot. When I started sharing my blogs to the public, I accepted the fact that one day, I might have to deal with this. This is why I use a pen name. Even on facebook, I have an alter-ego. Very few people online that knows my true identity.
I actually think the culture of internet anonymity contributes to this kind of unacceptable behavior. Stripped of identity and accountability, people feel free to loose their rage in ways they’d never do if they had to do in person.
Would someone march up at a signing, look the writer in the eyes, and repeat, word for word, what’s written in a horrible email? Well, it’s never happened to me. But I get the emails.
Internet anonymity definitely allows readers to say more of what’s on their minds, and sometimes encourages them to be more inflammatory or hateful because that veil promises a lack of repercussions or consequences.
As for writers, though, pen names don’t offer the same sort of protection they used to. It’s not too hard these days to figure out the real identity behind a pseudonym. It may offer a nice degree of separation between personal and writing lives to casual fans or people you encounter in real life, but it won’t prevent somebody determined from tracking down who you really are and dragging it to light. It’s a bit scary to consider, since anyone who would bother probably has an extreme opinion of your work, and there is no reason that hatred or praise even has to be justified.
Internet anonymity also allows people feel free to indulge in bullying and harassment without fear of reprisal. They even participate in mob behavior and do and say things they would never consider in real life.
Other than blocking them from commenting on your blog or emailing you, and blocking and reporting them on social media sites and forums, the only thing I know to do is report them to their ISP if they make threats or do anything illegal. Unfortunately, we don’t have much recourse for dealing with those who don’t cross that line.
Ann, The way you describe an author’s role reminds me of my earlier days a journalist. I was pretty much told to “take it” no matter what was thrown at me, because I needed to take a higher road and “let the reader have his/her say.” Maybe it’s because I’m older or because of the social media changes, but I think some people cross the line. While I think one has to “take” the comments to a degree online, I think some cross a line. Sometimes, I think adults need a refresher course on what constitutes bullying.
You raise a really interesting point, Ann. Of course we create ‘villains’ and horrible situations – that’s what makes our fiction interesting after all. It’s in the eye of the beholders that they identify characters and situations with authors and judge them accordingly. I’m currently writing something with a hint of a dystopian future (based on a developing scenario with a possible outcome that really worries me but that is fascinating to explore.) And after all, what else should we write if we don’t explore characters and situations that intrigue us? Unless you’re writing fantasy, these dark characters and potentially difficult situations are situated in our world and are only too real. I’ve always been a believer in writing stories that you are passionate to tell. I believe that that passion informs the story and makes it memorable to readers. (There doesn’t seem much point in writing anything otherwise, quite frankly.) But when readers take it all on board and start to persecute you because of it … then yes, I think it’s a matter for the police every time.
This is so true. I really feel for the people you described, and the situations they were put in.
I’ve seen a number of cases where writers have had to step up and say things like: “Yes, my main character is a victim of domestic abuse, but my own husband doesn’t actually abuse me. It’s fiction.” I can only speculate at the reasons they felt such a statement was necessary.
The downside to social media is that everyone seems to be both accessible and fallible — and there’s no hiding away in ignorance of what other people think of you.
As to how to handle it… there’s not a lot that can be done legally. I’d be interested to read other people’s opinions.
Yikes, I’m sorry for your friends, Ann. I don’t understand readers who insist on making fiction so brutally real.
I think authors who spark these sorts of personal attacks have to protect themselves, first and foremost. Getting a P.O. Box might be a priority, and paying to become unlisted in the phone directory. (Though with online white pages, will old data ever go away?) Change your phone number if you have to. Maybe have mail filtered through an agent or publicist (or spouse or friend) for a while. And keep records — just in case you ever have to take legal steps against someone.
Stacy, I totally think you’re right.
Felicity, there is, obviously, a chance you will run into problems if you write that. Because some people think inclusion in your fiction means you’re advocating whatever horrible thing you wrote. (Which boggles me.) How are you supposed to write dystopian without badness?
“The downside to social media is that everyone seems to be both accessible and fallible — and there’s no hiding away in ignorance of what other people think of you.”
Yes, that can be bad, Jo. My friend with the stalker is definitely keeping records, but it can be frustrating to be told that there’s little legal recourse until something horrible happens.
Therese, those are definitely good steps to protect yourself offline. ONline is another kettle of fish, and some days? A scary one.
I have an author friend who created a video response when someone attacked her online, accusing her of something based upon the actions of one of her characters. In the end, though, she didn’t post it publicly; the drama had died down and she didn’t want to rekindle it. But that is an option–use social media if you can to make a statement.
You also mentioned parenting, Ann–treating your book like your child, etc… But taking a page out of the Book of Mom, maybe you have to pick your battles, know when something really needs to be addressed and when it’s best just to ignore it. Not that it’s always an easy line to understand. (Ask my kid about my inability to shut it when he tries to walk out the door without a winter coat…)
I don’t so much have a problem with including characters that think/say/do things I would never, as much as I worry about response. I’ve seen various cases like Jo has seen, and I don’t like the idea of BEING those cases.
Nobody does, Kathrine, but we can’t let fear drive our creative process.
I’ve been mulling this for a while… and you know some writers get mocked because they call their book their baby? That’s too much emotional attachment; people feel it’s an inappropriate comparison. So… if my book is not my baby, if it’s just my book, then why is it okay to conflate what I’ve written with who I am? Isn’t that a logical disconnect?
Wow…what a timely post. I’m right now going through something similar. In my latest book, I took some risks that I’m definitely taking heat for…I’ve been lectured, called a “rape-monger,” told that I endorse rape, etc. For some reason, people are going out of their way to point me toward their hateful reviews. I’m getting emails, tweets, and posts on my FB page about it. Honestly, it’s messing with me. I knew I’d be walking a line for some people, but I really thought the plotline itself would be the issue, not one particular scene.
Anyway, I have gotten to the point where I do defend myself in emails and on my FB page. If people come into my private space to tell me what a piece of crap I am, I shoot it back. I don’t do that in reviews, but if someone gets in my face…yeah, I don’t just take it.
I agree with Therese…a PO box is a great start to protecting yourself, though in a small town like where I live, I could easily be found anyway. Also, I’ve got someone filtering my emails now, and I’m *thisclose* to getting someone to be an admin for my FB page. I love interacting with my readers, but when you start to dread going to the place you used to enjoy…there’s a problem. My stomach churns every time I go to my page now.
So anyway, admins, someone to screen your mail, and a PO box. Also, beer. Lots and lots of beer…
Honestly, it’s messing with me.
I think you’re really smart to have someone filter those emails, and I wouldn’t blame you for having someone else deal with your FB page for a while either. It’s hard enough to write a book without having to bulldoze through the anxiety sparked by social media b.s. Do what you have to do to protect your creative spirit, Larissa, and hang in there.
Larissa,
I am not an author (I’m not nearly talented enough to be one, not to mention the fact that i am addicted to reading so i would never have enough time to write!) but i wanted to let you know that I LOVE your writing, current release included! I think that everything that happened happened for a reason and fit the plot line and ended up amazing! It’s unfortunate that there are people out there, who have no idea how hard it is to write, feel they are allowed to be hurtful (not to mention WAY to serious…. it’s fiction for crying out loud!!). I thought Immortal RIder was amazing and it kept me up until 3:00am reading it….on a work night! UGH! LOL Your a talented author who takes risks and doesn’t play it safe all the time and I think that makes you stand out from so many others… DONT CHANGE! I could go on and on but you get the point… Just remember all your dedicated fans who love you!
I can’t wait for Lethal Rider!
This is pretty terrifying. I’m so sorry for your friends experiences – it’s the stuff of suspense/horror. That people can take things to that level, in real life is astounding. My first book is coming out in 2012 and all I’ve been worrying about reviews – I guess they’re not really all that worrisome after all!
I might like a plan in place to avoid an online train wreck. Here’s one possible decision tree:
1) Is there a physical threat?
yes – call authorities
no – see (2)
2) Is it a personal attack?
yes – ignore and vent privately to friends. Don’t feed the trolls.
no – see (3)
3) Is it based on a misunderstanding?
yes – engage reader briefly in a private forum
no – see (4)
4) Is it a genre/industry-wide complaint?
yes – engage publicly. Open a dialogue.
no – see (5)
5) Is it a matter of personal taste?
yes – feel sad this person won’t be buying your books again.
Any other thoughts?
I like this. Thanks, Heather.
Nice!
This is a very well-formulated plan to take! It’s one every writer should prepare, because chances are, no matter what you write, somebody somewhere will be offended and go to great lengths to tell you so. It may be because you advocate a viewpoint they don’t like, or because a character does something shady and therefore you must be endorsing that thing, or because you included too many or too few characters with X characteristic. It may be because they twist your work into something it was never meant, and most people would never interpret it, to be. But it’ll happen, and the way you handle it could have a tremendous effect on both your life (especially in cases with violent threats) and your professional image (in how you handle public criticism, etc.).
Something I learned the hard way was that we cannot change what other people think or say about us, so our only recourse is to change how we react. I know that does not apply in all cases where there is true harassment or stalking that needs to be reported to authorities, but it does work for those nasty e-mails or comments we get about some aspect of our story.
Or natural reaction is to be angry and to want to rant to that person or to the public about how unfair and ugly and nasty that message was, but that response only fuels the fire. It is much better for our blood pressure if we ignore the ugliness.
When possible, take the high road…
All the while protecting yourself.
I use a PO Box, and I’m pretty decent about keeping a distance between what people say about my books & my characters…and me. I know I’m not what I write so it’s easier to separate, but it’s not always that easy.
Last year, I did break down and get somebody to help with admin stuff and getting that one degree of separation helps as well.
I do find it frustrating when non-writers are unable to separate character from author. Quite often my characters make poor decisions, decisions I hope never to make. But if we write something that readers confuse with real life, have we perhaps done something right, to have written about that topic or character flaw so realistically?
This is a great discussion! Is the “customer” always right in business? Is it always better to “take the higher road” or is there something to be said for standing up for yourself?
I think it is something we have to handle on a case by case basis and … one thing I know for sure … we should not fear writing or stop writing because of what someone else might do or say about our writing.
:)
Great post!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Larissa. But the reason I posted this is because (maybe due to easy online access?) is because I’ve seen a number of writers come under fire due to something they wrote. Not in just a “this is bad or gross; I don’t like this book” way, but “Wow, this author is EVIL! (Insert invective and abuse.)
Therese, you make some good points.
Sasha, bad reviews are not what I’m talking about here. Some people can’t dislike a book without making judgments about the author and this escalates into personal attacks. There is a big difference between literary criticism and a hate campaign.
What Larissa has in her inbox, on her Facebook page, and on Twitter isn’t just somebody disliking a book. If it makes the author feel sad and sick and it’s personal? It’s TOO FAR. And it’s wrong.
Heather and Maryann, you seem to be advocating “always ignore” as a policy… which bothers me on some level. I hate for people who are essentially bullying someone to get away with it. And yet, really, due to the rules of engagement, a writer’s hands are effectively tied in this arena. It’s sad.
Shiloh, I’m not talking about book criticism here. I’m talking about “Sally Author is a… (insert invective and insults)”
Hi Ann,
Yes, I think I do advocate the do nothing stance on online bullying. I have stepped in when a personal attack was directed against another person to make clear the attack was out of line, to the target if nobody else. In such a case, I am painfully polite. It shows up the bully better than anything else, I think.
Once when I was in middle school, I had an “Eureka” moment when a bully who had plagued me for years was trying to reduce me to tears. Instead, I invited him to do his worst. He was confused. He left me alone after that. Online bullies are much the same. Don’t give them what they want and they mostly go away.
I certainly agree it’s frustrating, but I suspect the worst punishment for nasty folk is to be ignored.
Okay, say we accept this as policy.
How do we deal with the private effects on our confidence and creativity? Constant abuse takes its toll.
Ignoring a troll is what I might do publicly, privately… my coping mechanism might be a pair of kirigami scissors or a lump of bread dough that needs some serious pounding. Or really, when else can I feel justified in vicious gossip with my friends? :)
Not to take what you say lightly. Bullies are poison. In real terms, the suggestions to have someone screen correspondence seems like good advice.
Oh, I actually had the opposite problem with bullies in school. I was bullied quite a bit in middle school, and followed everyone’s advice just to do nothing, to ignore them in the hopes they went away. Their response was to grow worse, and it became a game to them. They started working twice as hard, trying to get me to react. Keeping quiet and doing nothing is not always a solution to bullying.
Bullying, online and otherwise, can drive people to suicide. I don’t take this issue lightly.
I understand – I was a favorite target right up until I figured out how not to give bullies what they wanted. I had to make my brain ask that question, to have empathy for the one persecuting me. I believe when a bully can see you, it is impossible to do nothing. You might not return a blow, but you can look upset. They’re trying to provoke something, and they got it. At least with online harassment, it is possible to give the bully nothing.
Great post, Ann!
You’re so right that people would never dream of saying to the author in person what they’d post to them online. The internet makes it easy to be a jerk. Would they ever go up to an author at a signing and say, “I read your book and thought it really sucked. Here’s my review. And btw, you’re a slut.” Probably not.
Larissa, I don’t blame you a bit for getting an admin person to screen this stuff. I totally would if I were you. You don’t need to deal with that crap and have it mess with your head.
Maybe one way to manage FB is to do what I’ve seen Susan Elisabeth Phillips do on her page from time to time. She turns off the ability for readers to post when she knows she’s going to be away and can’t monitor what gets posted. When she’s back, she’ll then turn it on, post something, let people comment, then later, turn it off.
~Laurie
I’ve seen the following: “Oh, Sally Author shouldn’t have written a book if she can’t take the heat.” But what if the heat isn’t really about the book? That’s like the argument about celebrities; they shouldn’t have gone into acting if they didn’t want to be photographed in sweat pants with their hair a mess at 6:45am at their local Trader Joe’s. THEY WERE ASKING FOR IT, clearly.
That line of logic bothers me — for oh-so-many reasons. Nobody is ever asking to be hurt, physically or emotionally. It’s not okay. Lines need to be drawn.
Talk about my book all you like — in your forum. I’ll stay out of the way and defend your right to say what you wish.
But when I’m emailed something full of hate, that’s over the line.
Jessica, you make a good point, but it can be hard to take some reactions as a compliment.
I agree with you 100%, Margo. We can’t let our books be driven by fear.
Yes, exactly. I’m not talking about reviews — once the book is on the shelves, it now belongs to the reader, whatever their interpretation is. They can talk about it in their forums, on Goodreads, amongst themselves, whatever they want. But when they come to me and tell me what a piece of crap I am, I won’t ignore it.
There’s also a difference between respectfully telling an author they didn’t like the book or an aspect of the book, and telling them they clearly condone rape, or that they must be sluts because they write slutty characters, or that they’re going to hell for writing about demons..or making threats to ruin the author’s career.
Oh, look, I’m ready for a beer, and it’s only 9:30 AM! Maybe if I add tomato juice it would be a breakfast drink…
Yes, that’s exactly the difference I’m talking about, Larissa.
My colleague with the middle grade book told about her ordeal on a panel I was on with her, and she just about teared up, just recounting all the things that happened as part of that hate / smear campaign. It -wasn’t- just mean emails. And nobody deserves that for writing a book.
Oh my gosh – timeliest post ever for me – thank you!!!
I find people have a tough time separating truth from fiction. People INSIST that I must be the main character in my book. Why? Because it’s in the first person, I guess. I feel like the boilerplate disclaimer in fiction needs another line: The opinions expressed by the characters do not represent the opinions of the author, her friends or family members.
Yesterday I did a book signing and a woman I know on an acquaintance level stopped by and bought a copy of The Hazards for her grandmother. I don’t think my acquaintance reads a lot of fiction, because she kept telling me that “Granny LOVED LOVED LOVED the Help, even with the language” so OBVIOUSLY she’d love my book.
My book is nothing like the Help. It has a lot of bad words, a fair amount of sex, none of it in church-sanctioned wedlock.
I literally lost sleep over this last night. On one hand, I’m thankful that acquaintance stopped by and supported me at the event. On the other, I can virtually guarantee that Granny isn’t my target demographic. So when the gift flops, I not only lose Granny (predictable) but I lose acquaintance and her word of mouth in our peer group.
SORRY for the long post. Had to get that off my chest.
What a difficult position! I don’t have any answers for you, but it boggles my mind that people can have such issues telling the difference between fiction and reality. I’m so sorry this has hit so close to you.
Ann, thanks for raising this topic. I agree with Heather. It’s best to ignore your hateful critics unless they pose a physical threat, in which case I would get law enforcement involved. On the other side, as a critic I tend to only post reviews of books I enjoyed. I don’t mind reading negative reviews as long as the piece is thoughtful and rational.
Sometimes it can be hard to tell, CG. Have you heard about female feminist bloggers who are routinely threatened with rape or comments that say if they just got “saw to” more often, they wouldn’t be such bitches? I got an email where a woman told me I deserved to be beaten and raped for what I’d written. It’s not quite a threat, but it’s… pretty awful to be on the receiving end of that.
OMG Ann, that makes me sick!
I’m sorry to hear about what your friends experienced.
I read about another author who also had a stalker, but this person not only did a smear campaign, they hacked into her account on Facebook and her email and sent out ugly messages to people on her lists, as well as pretended to be her other places online. From what I understand, the authorities are now involved, but that kind of thing is so scary.
Some people can’t separate the author from the work, in the same way some fans can’t separate an actor from the role they play.
It just has to be dealt with on a case-by-case basis and choose your battles. I don’t think it’s a good idea to attack someone’s review, though. It’s their opinion, but some people take things too far, as in the situation I mentioned above.
Just to reiterate, this is NOT remotely about bad reviews. This is where the distaste for a book becomes personal and leads to intense hate for the author, communicated in various ways.
I, myself, have received an email that read: “You deserve to be beaten and raped for writing this.” That’s too far. That’s wishing harm on me and could be interpreted as a threat. How am I supposed to know if the threat has teeth? What do I do about it? (Law enforcement is overworked and isn’t all that interested in hate mail, particularly when you’re an expat and jurisdiction is fuzzy.)
I think it’s really sad when readers cannot see that the author and the narrator are not the same person. The narrator isn’t even a person at all, but one of the characters in the book! Also, if authors could only write about things that they had experienced themselves, there would be NO PNR, no science fiction, no historical romance and so on. That would be very sad for readers indeed!
To receive hatemail is awful, to receive something hateful by e-mail can be even worse, because when reading e-mail, it’s possible to be still in bed, with a cup of coffee and being nice and relaxed. To receive an agressive hateful message while being in a safe and normal environment makes it even worse, and I think that people sending e-mails should really think about that!
Also, internet etiquette is getting worse and worse. Some people should simply ask themselves : ‘Would I say this right to a person’s face it they were in front of me right now?’ if the answer is no to that, it would really be best not to send it! Also, if being angry and upset when writing an e-mail, it would be a good idea to save it as a draft for at least 24 hours, then read it again, and pretend to be the person who receives it.
Unfortunately, a lot of people online are a lot worse than real-life bullies, because they can hide behind their screen-name, and just spread their mean comments without any thoughts about the consequences.
I hope all of you authors here will continue to write books, and that you will also continue to interact with your fans! I hope that most of us are nice, and able to respectfully disagree if there is something that is not the way we wanted it to be.
A lot of food for thought here. I’d be interested in a further post about what to do if the bully is somebody you can’t ignore – a peer or someone in the industry. If you are so inclined. :)
I have a friend who’s something of a techo-wizard, and she’s given me some practical advice. Not being techie, I never would have thought of this, but:
If you’re getting hate mail and it’s escalating, you have recourse, even if it’s not illegal or to the law enforcement stage. There are some things you can do. This article here: https://www.johnru.com/active-whois/trace-email.html (and others) tell you how to find the person’s ISP on a regular email. You can then contact their host provider (or email service). Hate mail may be against their TOS, and their account could be canceled. When actions have consequences, people may think twice.
Also, you can create an email filter for this person’s email. Granted, this may not stop it forever. They could change accounts. But maybe you could create a filter to block emails that contain certain buzz words? This isn’t foolproof, of course. It might require some tinkering. But you have the right to safeguard your internet space and the tools to do so. On the other hand, if that person escalates and you haven’t seen the crazy scaling up? You might not know you’re actually in danger. I’m of two minds. Which makes the “screening” option even more attractive.
Ann, this is such a fascinating discussion. I haven’t suffered from cyber-stalking, bullying (thump, thump, that’s me knocking on wood) but as I writer, I recently experienced some uncomfortable feedback.
An acquaintance of mine mentioned her husband was reading my book and then she said, sotto voce, “and he was a little shocked at one of the sex scenes because how could you know that stuff from a guy’s point of view? He though it was kinda weird!”
I was mortified. Now this doesn’t raise to the level of what you’re talking about but it’s similar. I had this moment where I wanted to sink into the floor but then I managed to rally and say something along the lines of character, immersion, blah, blah, blah. What I should have said is it’s not me, it’s my character, dummy!
You know what, Johanna, you’re right — that’s not quite what I’m talking about here, BUT it is one of my pet peeves.
When women write a sex scene, they get SO MUCH ‘nudge nudge wink wink’ over it and inappropriate questions about their research methods, etc, but do male thriller / suspense / horror writers get grilled about how many homicides they’ve committed or how they know so much about ritual dismemberment? The double standard pisses me off.
I’ve had a few run-ins with crazy people online, and I’m not even properly published yet! I’ve received nasty comments for blogging that I disliked a particular restaurant. Someone messaged me personally to call me names when I wrote an unfavorable review of a local hair salon. Once I made the mistake of telling someone on a forum that it was unethical to take a PhD fellowship with the intention of skipping out after the masters, and then came back to ten pages of virulent personal attacks.
In today’s climate, you don’t have to write something “dark” or “bad” for people to get up in arms. I’m pretty sure that, given more than ten total readers for my debut YA novel, I will receive a barrage of hate mail for portraying teenagers, gasp, /cursing/. Oh, and there’s premarital sex. And an atheist. No no no no no.
I thought long and hard about putting my real name and contact information up for the haters to find. But you know what? It’s rarely about /you/ as an author. These people have deep-seated issues of their own that they can’t work through, and they take it out on strangers who they don’t realize are flesh-and-blood human beings. They’re really not worth crying over.
More resource information from another colleague:
This article is INVALUABLE:
https://aruljohn.com/info/howtofindipaddress/#gmail
I used it to find an IP (and I have fairly low technical skill). For even more information, use this: https://www.networksolutions.com/whois/index.jsp
Don’t use any information you find on this person to put them on the internet; don’t play their game. Use it to contact their ISP, email host, or local law enforcement, depending on the severity of your situation.
I’m one of the authors Ann talks about above. I agree – don’t feed the trolls. It never does any good to respond to a hate campaign, you’re only giving them what they want. Attention.
I’ve grown to look at it this way: I put my books out there for public consumption. People are allowed to choose how they consume my books. Some of the “haters” probably got just as much, if not more enjoyment out of trashing my book then those who read and loved it. It’s just how the internet is these days. The comments are meant to escalate – everyone trying to be more clever then the person before them, not thinking about the real person behind the work they’re putting down.
The problem is, you can’t always tell when a person has been a victim of a hate campaign, versus if their book is really bad. The instigator of my campaign decided to write a scathing review on Amazon and then get all his friends to mark as helpful and push his review up to the very top. So everytime someone views my book, they see his vitriol. He’s allowed to have his opinion, but he inflated its importance through social media. And now people who might have enjoyed my book (actual 10 year old girls who the book was written for – not college aged trolls) might shy away from reading it.
Another problem came with Googling. Now, if you google the book, you find really horrible stuff – full of bad language and pornographic insinuations. I can’t control that stuff – so now I’m inadvertantly exposing 10 year old readers to content they shouldn’t be exposed to.
Oh and the emails? They said things like “I hope you get raped and murdered.” Yeah. Even though I knew they were the result of people having fun in their hate campaign, they were still scary and hurtful. I was afraid to open email for a long time.
In the end, like anything else, it blows over. And the haters move on to their next target. But this is the internet – the scars they leave behind don’t ever go away.
(I’m not using my name on this post because I am still paranoid about this starting up again. Every once in a while it flairs up again and I can’t take another round!)
When it comes to trolls or hate mail, I never reply. I don’t owe it to anyone to respond to anything hateful. If you don’t like something, the easiest solution is to not do it. Don’t read books you don’t enjoy. Most of the time if you ignore it, they go away. Though sometimes I will comment about things in the abstract at twitter or on my blog to clarify something.
But the truth is that I personally haven’t found anything more effective than ignoring it and ranting to my friends in private. Most trolls and haters feed on your replies, it gives them power in their imagined relationship with you.
I don’t normally post anonymous replies online, but as I’m the friend Ann mentioned with the cyber stalker, I have to in this case. Because my stalker follows every move I make. So then she can send me emails to detail how much she knows where I am and what I’m doing along with demands to just answer the email and give reasons why I never reply.
People sometimes blur those lines between your job and who you are as a person. I love my readers, they’re wonderful people and I appreciate them. They’re fun to talk to and get to know as well. The overwhelming majority of interactions I have are positive so I don’t want to paint them with a broad bush.
Sometimes though people don’t know where to draw the line.
In my case, it was a reader who was very enthusiastic about my books. It started off fine, but before very long this person would tweet me so often each day, and frequently in inappropriate ways that I had a rule about only replying a few times. Never on anything I felt was over the line. This blew up with a profanity laced two day long diatribe about me (which continued after I blocked them) For months afterward there would be email after email that would be in turns moderately acceptable to more profanity laced screeds about my general state of awfulness.
This experience has changed how I do most everything. I was already what I thought to be very careful about revealing information online that could be used to track me down. Now I’m religious about it. I do have a PO box and I heartily recommend that. If you live in a small town you might consider getting one the next town over.
I did speak with the authorities about this. I keep copies of all correspondence as well. Their advice was not to engage, which was what I was already doing. The behavior has so far been more creepy than physically threatening, but it’s not pleasant to know there are people out there who are having a tumultuous relationship with you and you had no idea.
There is also the option of contacting that person’s ISP if the mails continue, to report abuse. Or you can mark the mails as spam and blacklist them so you never see the mails to start with. Mine go into a special folder and my spouse reads them to be sure there’s nothing immediate.
Most trolls and haters feed on your replies, it gives them power in their imagined relationship with you.
It’s so easy to respond knee-jerk, but this is such an important truth to remember.
Big thanks to you and That Author for coming forward and sharing your stories. And thanks again, Ann, for starting this discussion.
Thanks to both of you for weighing in. I feel like it’s important for people to know they’re not alone — and how other writers have resolved similar issues (or are coping with them).
Let’s look at Nabokov. It must have seemed like a great idea to put pen to paper and write, in first person, the thrill of seducing a 12 year old girl. At any time did I think N. a pedophile? Nope. I thought he was a literary genius.
But Nabokov could have easily crossed that line, and we would know that he did because his book wouldn’t be on the top 100 of all time list today.
So, skill. How does the author handle the issue. I don’t think readers are easily fooled by ‘author agenda’ passed off as ‘character’.
I had a big problem with all the elephant beatings in ‘Water for Elephants’, and said so in my amazon review. But at no time did I think the author herself went out and beat animals. This was a stylistic choice made to move the story forward, and I skipped over these passages every time.
So, choice. How does the reader handle the issue. I don’t think authors should be easily moved by ‘reader overreaction’ passed off as ‘feedback’.
Examples like this make me glad I have such a common name. And I am so careful not to name my children in any of my public posts and conversations. I’m a reader first and foremost, even as I’m also a writer. I read, knowing it’s fiction. It frightens me that people out there can lose their grip on that.
Oh I so dread this. I’m sure I have some of it coming my way with my first novel’s release in February–not necessarily in a bad way. But I already have people saying, “I can’t wait to read your books and see which one of us is in it.” WHAT? None of you are in it. Sorry. ;-) Great post and very timely for me.
I’m often asked not to post about a subject, group or theme. As editor of FundsforWriters.com , I’ve written 12 years on a smorgasbord of topics – listing markets, publishers and opportunities for writers – all writers. Occasionally I’m lashed by a reader who didn’t like a Jewish market, a GLBT publisher, or a Christian literary agency. Recently someone fussed that I quoted Ronald Reagan in my Quote of the Week. While I’m tempted to them to create their own publication and write what they please, I simply ask them to Live and Let Live. Most accept that attitude.
I too have a novel coming out in February – Lowcountry Bribe from Bell Bridge Books. I expect someone in my circle will think I wrote about them since I gave the protagonist a career I used to have. As a result, people in my circle think I must be talking about who I know/knew.
We have to be good writers and not let the flack and feedback cut us off at the knees. There will always be someone who dislikes what we do, for reasons we’ll never fully understand.
C. Hope Clark
http://www.fundsforwriters.com
Congratulations on your novel, Hope! And thanks for all you do. My kids still love looking for writing contests, thanks to you.
This is such an important topic. As they talk about “enhanced ebooks” with links to the author’s email, all I can do is cringe. It’s amazing how many unbalanced people are out there.
I recently had a flurry of hate mail (and even a death threat) because of a seemingly bland blogpost I wrote about how to write an Amazon review. I addressed it at Boomers, my own demographic, and added a little self-deprecating generational humor.
But there seems to be a sizable segment of (very young) Amazon reviewers who simply don’t get humor. I was dissing their grandmas and they were going to make me HURT! One told me I was going to have to move out of my parents’ basement some day and I should get down on my knees and thank them instead of saying awful things about how they don’t know how to use the internet.
If only they knew how hard that would be with these old, arthritic knees!
It started out being funny, but when I got the “we know where you live and we’re coming after you” emails, I stopped laughing. Cyberbullying is real and it’s nasty. Anonymity makes them feel safe and they’ll make up any excuse to start a hate campaign, because the get off on the power and self-righteous rage.
Anne – I had no idea that the response you got was that bad. I read that post and I thought it was very innocent! Sorry you had to through that.
Unfortunately, authors are going to have to deal with his more and more.