Thankful for the Writing Life
By Barbara O'Neal | November 23, 2011 |
23 years ago, on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, I sold my first book.
This is what I remember: it was overcast and gloomy, my favorite kind of weather, so my children were playing with Play-doh at the table and I was writing in the mini office I had set up in the dining room.
I had scraped and saved for a $400 Amstrad computer that was my pride and joy and required disks to run (if you wanted to spell check, you had to change the disk). Primitive as it was, it saved so much time over my previous technology, an IBM selectric computer.
We had the Amstrad, but we did not, at that moment, have a phone. Times were hard in Pueblo; my husband had been laid off his construction job and was shagging pizzas, supplementing with the odd side job. We let go of certain luxuries to give me the space to stay home with the boys until they started school. By which time, I desperately hoped I would have a book contract.
It was looking a bit grim that day. I’d been at it four solid years, trying all kinds of things—short stories and articles and novels. I’d collected more than 70 rejection letters, from badly mimeographed slips of paper saying no thanks to long, handwritten explanations. I’d been invited to resubmit a couple of short stories to an editor at a prestigious literary magazine, and praised by a commercial magazine, but the money would never save us.
So I was despairing. I would soon have to get a job.
And then, that day, my father showed up at my door. An editor had called from New York, he said, and he’d come to get me so that I could call her back. We gathered up the boys and hurried back to their house and I called Silhouette. Where an editor said, “We love this book and want to buy it.”
For $4000, which was a tremendous fortune to me at the time.
Last Friday, I accepted an offer from Bantam for a new contract, and since the timing was so close to the anniversary of the sale that opened the door to this career, I found myself recognizing what a gift the writing life has been.
It was such a surprise to everyone around me that I actually did it—published a book, and then another and another. That somehow, I managed to make a living at writing novels. It meant I could be home with my sons, the whole time they were growing up, which might not be everybody’s cup of tea, but was very important to me.
It meant that I formed friendships with women across the country, my “graduating class” made up of the people who started selling around the same time I did, in the same arena. We were category and historical romance writers, and most of us had children around the same age. The children grew up as our careers grew—each one taking a slightly different path. Some stuck with romance, some moved into straight fiction or mysteries or historical sagas. I started writing women’s fiction, of course. 40 books thus far, which astonishes me.
On this day before Thanksgiving, I am filled with enormous gratitude that writing is my life, that somehow that big dream came true. It hasn’t always been what I imagined it might be. It’s been both more challenging and more rewarding—and more ordinary—than I expected.
It is also, aside from my children, the biggest blessing I’ve had in my life. I am lucky enough to spend my days writing. Every day, year in, year out. I love books insanely, love reading, love writing, and there is no sweeter thing than having work you love.
Thinking of the changes in our business, I am also grateful for the invention of the personal computer, which makes it so easy to do the physical work of writing. I am grateful for the Internet, which makes available so much information that I used to have to schlep around to find out. I’m grateful for the loops of communities that have emerged to support writers, including this one. I’m grateful for silly things, too, like programs that let me put post-it notes on my screen, and office supply stores full of pretty papers and good pens.
I’m grateful, too, that I can come in here today and whisper encouragement to you on your path. Don’t give up. Keep trying. Keep writing. Be thankful for the gift of your longing, even when you are bitterly disappointed, because not everyone is given that gift of wanting something so much as you do. I am grateful for you, too. Without your hard work, I won’t have my new favorites in the coming years.
What are some things about the writing life that you’re thankful for this year? What can you praise about the place on the path you occupy right now, this day?
Barbara O’Neal is the author of more than a dozen award-winning, bestselling novels, including the runaway bestseller, When We Believed in Mermaids, which has been published in more than 20 countries and spent many months on the Amazon Charts, as well as the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and Washington Post bestseller lists. Barbara lives on the beach in rugged Oregon with her husband, a British endurance athlete who vows he’ll never lose his accent and their zoo of cats and dogs. You can find more information on her newsletter and where to find her on social media at barbaraoneal.com.
Wonderful encouragement. I’m thankful for the community of writers and readers. They keep me accountable and writing better.
Accountability is a big one for me, too, Amie. No excuses with my friends.
Thank you, Barbara, for this wonderful piece on your career, and your gratitude for so many things.
Your words give instant perspective to me, at the beginning of my career. I can only hope to look back with such graciousness after so many years doing what I love, writing.
Congratulations, and have a great Thanksgiving!
-Jennifer
Same to you, Jennifer.
Lovely post Barbara. Puts disappointments into perspective.
Disappointments are part of the game, but we wisely brush them off (eventually) and move on.
Fantastic post! Thank you.
To answer your question:
“What can you praise about the place on the path you occupy right now, this day?”
I praise the fact that someone has given me a much needed shot of excitement for my writing. It’s amazing what a few kind words like, “This truly is an exceptional piece of work” can do to boost your determination when surrounded by rejection after rejection.
I love writing. I love thinking about writing. And, for that, I am thankful!!
I once collected all the positive things editors had written about the work and posted it by my desk. Type up those words and put them where you can see them.
Barbara,
Thanks for sharing such an inspirational post. What a great story! I’m thankful that there are so many communities of writers out there supporting one another and, of course, I’m thankful for Writer Unboxed.
Barbara, what a lovely, lovely post. It brought tears to my eyes. I wish you many more years of success, and thank you for sharing this.
I’m thankful for the camaraderie and friendship I’ve found from other writers on the internet. I am often alone, yet there is always someone with me. Can’t ask for more than good company along the way.
I’m thankful for the wisdom of those who are steps ahead of me, yet willing to slow down and reach out.
This post really lifted up my spirits. In times of trials, there will still be a time that everything will be all right. You just have to be patient, determined and hardworking.
I guess the part of my writing life that I am thankful for is to be able to interact with great people who are also willing to put their thoughts into words.
I am thankful for this post, Barbara, and this community of writers I am just beginning to discover. Yes, I long for many of the things you shared in your story – even that my two boys would sit still long enough to play with Play-doh! (Or that I had the patience to get it down knowing I’d have to clean it up.) I will treasure this throughout the holiday weekend.
40 books. Wow. What an accomplishment! I, too, am thankful I can write and be home with my toddler. Here’s hoping it lasts.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
This is such a lovely post Barbara – thanks for the encouragement! Everyone can benefit from taking a moment to say “thank you” for the here and now. Writing brings out the best in me so I am grateful to have it as a part of my everyday.
Oh Barbara, thanks so much for the inspiring post – I’m currently awaiting for the call you received 23 years ago, so this really touched me.
I’m most thankful for the amazing people I’ve met in the wrtiing community – my home RWA chapter has a motto, “One hand reaching forward, one hand reaching back, in an unbroken chain.” I’ve found this to be true, and so wonderfully comforting. Can’t wait until I can return the favor and reach back!
Thank you, Barbara, for the lovely post. Brought tears to my eyes. I, too, am thankful that I get to write every day and have time to read books I love. Today, I’m thinking about and reminding myself that the difficult times of writing are as important as the easier times.
I appreciate your gratefulness posture and your gratefulness list. Yes, the writing life is a gift and I feel blessed to have join it even if I was 72 when it came to me.
“Be thankful for the gift of your longing, even when you are bitterly disappointed, because not everyone is given that gift of wanting something so much as you do.”
This a hundred percent. I’m grateful I let myself feel that yearning after so many years of suppressing it.
“Be thankful for the gift of your longing, even when you are bitterly disappointed, because not everyone is given that gift of wanting something so much as you do.”
I’m with Liz Michalski, I welled up, and this was the line that got me. I am so grateful this year. I have fully come to realize that this journey is the most important and rewarding of my life.
Still unpubbed, but this has been a transformative year for me, and this community has been a huge part of it. I’m thankful for Therese and Kathleen, for you, Barbara, and for so many other wonderful people met through WU. My life is richer for it. Thanks for yet another wonderful and inspiring post.
I am thankful for you post. Writing has been a longing of mine for ages and I am finally beginning. I took a blog course to start and am loving that. Just joined a local writing group after to moving to a new city and feel like writing will help me find my new home.
I love this post.
I’m grateful to see the end in sight re: the revision I’ve been working on for months, that I’ll come out the other end of this crazy, long, and confusing tunnel and say “phew, made it.” I’m grateful to have been pushed by a talented editor, even if she’s not with my house anymore to see the book through to the next stage.
I’m grateful for this blog, for the community that has formed here, for the many encouraging, hilarious, and insightful posts that I read every week. Thank you for being a part of it, Barbara.
Thank you for this: Don’t give up. Keep trying. Keep writing.
And, for sharing this post. I’m grateful for this blog and the WU community.
I’m incredibly grateful for the other writers I know, who offer me support, critique, sympathy, assistance, companionship, and a thousand other things I couldn’t get along without. I couldn’t do this by myself, and I wouldn’t want to.
Congrats on the new contract, Barbara, and thanks so much for sharing your story!
Thank you so much for sharing this! You are an inspiration to us all. I remember the trials and tribulations of an IBM Selectric – you said computer, but you meant typewriter, didn’t you? Or maybe we called them word processors? I am so thankful for the technology that makes writing easier and for the online community of writers who share joy and wisdom every day.
This is such an encouraging. Happy Thanksgiving to you and thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you for the very lovely Thanksgiving post, Barbara!
I am grateful for the craft of writing—this extraordinary magical wand of words through which we can say things that have never before been said, share things that have never before been shared, be together even when we can never be together in any other way.
I am grateful for all those who have come before us to discover and develop the myriad fabulous techniques and profound understanding through which simple language recreates the entire world of the human heart.
I am grateful for all those out there struggling today to learn that magic so they, too, can vocalize for all the rest of us experiences that up until now have had no names.
And I am grateful, most especially, for all the readers. It is for them that we in this work do everything we do. Without them, we’re just whistling in the wind.
Thank you all.
What a wonderful and inspiring story! You’re amazing!
I can be thankful for the love I feel for writing, and the goosebumps I feel when I string words together and they actually work. I can praise myself for having completed my first novel ever– well, the rough draft, at least. A couple years ago, this goal seemed impossibly far away. Thanks for the reminder that there’s always something to be grateful for, and always something to praise.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Thank you, Barbara, for taking the time to tell us about your writing career “back then” and now. It gives me the encouragement I need to stick it out. And I love that the internet has allowed us to read something so personal from a writer as prolific and generous as you.
Thanks again.
Patti
Thanks for sharing this Barbara. It is good to hear from, ‘one who
has been there’. This has given me the boost I need to get moving
on the pieces I want to develop.
Happy Thanksgiving
Lovely and insightful blog! Thank you- to you and WU.
I must admit the Thanksgiving preparations did me in and I didn’t get back in time to reply to everyone.
Thanks for the feedback, and really happy to have inspired one or two of you to stay on the path.
Congratulations on such a long and wonderful career!
Awesome post, Barb. You really put the writer’s journey in perspective because it is about hard work, and taking the criticism without becoming bitter, about feeling ignored by editors and agents, and yes, it is also about desperation. It’s about that drive that makes you sit down and write whether you’ve had a zillion rejections or none, and how you push that. Awesome.
Thank you for this great and encouraging message. It is timely as I have wondered if using my time for writing is a wise move for us right now. I lost my job in May and have been writing and submitting things every week since then. Some good responses and some with no responses, some money but not enough.
Thank you for the fresh inspiration!
Susie
Never give up!
I know I’m a bit late, but this post nearly brought me to tears. Congratulations on the book contract, both then and now. And thank you for the inspiration.
“It hasn’t always been what I imagined it might be. It’s been both more challenging and more rewarding—and more ordinary—than I expected.”
:)