Let’s Have a Pity Party
By John Vorhaus | May 26, 2011 |
Man, have I had a frustrating day. Spent the better part of it beating my head against two things I’m not particularly good at: computer stuff, and graphics. Both are related to my current effort to get some items in my writer’s trunk out of the trunk and into the world of Kindle books. I’m excited about the prospect. I’m excited at the thought of making literally tens of dollars off some of my old work. But there are problems…so many problems.
In order to use Kindle (or any e-platform) effectively, you have to reformat your work to make it e-reader friendly, and while there’s tons of software and tutorials out there to help you do that, it helps if it’s something you have half an aptitude for in the first place. Which, well, I don’t. I mean, yeah, I can point and click, and I’m not afraid of computers. Heck, around my house I’m known as technical support. But any computer operation of this sort requires a lot of finagling with details, going back and trying again, reformatting, repositioning, recompiling, reposting, re- re- re- crap! That stuff comes easy to some. For me…not so much. And when I realized how much valuable time – writing time – I was spending on the effort, I decided to subcontract the project to the sort of people to whom that stuff comes easy. They don’t charge much…but it’ll keep me that much farther from profit on Kindle.
Now the cover. Man, I see the cover. I mean, I see the fricking cover in my mind’s eye. I see the type face, I see the graphics, I see my name in bold, the title, WORLD SERIES OF MURDER, I even see the little banner down at the bottom that says, Includes the Novella SURF LAS VEGAS! Trouble is, visualizing the cover and actualizing it are two very, very different things. Again, the tools are at my disposal – Photoshop or an incredible simulation – but mastery of them eludes me. And it’s ludicrous to think that I can learn how to use these new tools and produce a professional-looking cover at the very same time, on the very first try. I didn’t expect that level of achievement with my first book – a learning experience if ever there was one – why should I expect it of my first cover? Still I engaged in the aforementioned beating of head against hard object until my head began to ache. And when I realized how much valuable time – writing time! – I was spending on the effort, I decided to subcontract that project, too. Again, the costs are not so high, but…well, I’d better have a damn Kindle hit, that’s all I’m saying.
Which brings me by roundabout means to the title of this post, “Let’s Have a Pity Party.” Because, frankly, I could use one right now. I’m feeling terribly sorry for myself, and I’m feeling like a failure and quite blue. Why can’t I Kindlize my own works? Why can’t I make the pretty pictures? My rational mind tells me to remember that there are some things I’m good at and some things I’m just not. My reptilian brain says, “Screw that! I want to be good at everything!” And I want to be that good now!
I used to play guitar, you know. And sang. I recorded a folk(ish) album back in the 1980s (and if you want to explore a deep, deep artifact of my assorted past, you can stream or download all the tracks for free right here). I traveled the singer/songwriter circuit for five years until I realized that there were two things I couldn’t do particularly well: sing, or play guitar. So I stopped. I stopped beating my head against that wall and focused on what I was good at: writing.
I’m trying to invoke that moment of life-changing insight now. I’m trying to invoke the old standby, “Love what you do – if you don’t love it, you won’t do it well.” Well, I don’t love computer stuff and I don’t love graphics, and that’s okay. The thing I love – my job, my passion, my calling – is putting words on the page. Yes, I have a responsibility to market myself, because a writer whose words remain unread is just the sound of one hand clapping. And yes, I have a responsibility to make myself better, add new skills and talents, and just generally grow as a person. But I don’t have to drive myself crazy over this, and I don’t need to have a pity party just because I can’t get the stupid fricking table of contents to align right, God damn it!!!!
Instead of a pity party, I can have allies. I can find people whose strengths complement my own, and let them make the most of what they’re good at to help me make the most of what I’m good at. Sure, it costs some money…cuts into profit…but is money really the point of the exercise? I don’t think so. I think the point is to use new opportunities (such as Kindle, the blessing and curse of today’s wordsmiths) to defeat the sound of one hand clapping…to let our voice be heard.
And hey, how about this? That record I made back in 1985? It existed only in vinyl form for twenty years before getting a second, digital, life. Who can guess how the work we’re doing now will be repurposed and re-exploited in a generation from now? Just because I can’t make the most of today’s tools is no cause for despair. Life is long, and new tools are always just around the corner. I’m not saying you need to stay abreast of every technological change that comes along (I can’t, you can’t, nobody can). I’m saying focus on your strengths, and make common cause with others who can share theirs. And stop beating your head against a wall that has a door in it. That’s how we get past our questionable choices (singer/songwriter, JV? Really?) and it’s how I’ll get through this pity party now.
Image courtesy of Eclipse of the Heart.
John Vorhaus has written seven novels, including Lucy in the Sky, The California Roll, The Albuquerque Turkey and The Texas Twist, plus the Killer Poker series and (with Annie Duke) Decide to Play Great Poker. His books on writing include The Comic Toolbox, How to Write Good and Creativity Rules!
Great message!
For my Kindle book, I was able to format my own files and create my own cover (b/c I’m a self-taught HTML and Photoshop junkie! I could noodle something for hours…) BUT I’m still not a pro, and someday I’d rather pay someone else to do it for me. As you said, it eats into what’s really important: the writing time.
Ditto web design, which is what *I* wanted to give myself a pity party for the other day. I spent an hour mocking up a new design, only to decide it didn’t look sophisticated enough and wasn’t a big improvement over my current design, so I huffed and puffed and blew my redesign down. What a waste.
But you’re right: it’s the writing that’s important, and that’s what I’m going to focus on. Thanks for the reminder!
Thanks for this post from yet another person who’s entered the “publish it yourself via e-books” wars. Good luck, and we’ll be watching to see the outcome. I think many of us don’t want to be early adopters, but we certainly don’t want to be standing outside in the rain when everyone else has taken shelter in e-book self-publication.
Hey, John, I don’t mean to undermine your true calling as a writer, but I loved your music! Thanks for the link.
You need to put a donation button on your music page. I’d pay good money just for the laugh I got from “I Smoke ‘Cause I Like to Cough”! :-)
You are a brave soul! It’s true that getting help is a good idea, so that you can focus on writing time. I wish you all the best.
I have all the templates. I have all the pictures. I just know I’m not that smart. I am computerly challenged so I have already thought about hiring someone to do it for me. What is it they say now, you have to look at the long tail…meaning, the first hits are always going to eat something monetarily. It’s the end result that pays. I’m sure once the baby gets rolling, you’ll come up to 10k hits in no time.
I completely hear you! I’m (lucky for me) married to a computer techie who does all my Kindle formatting for me, and designs a really great cover, too. Otherwise I’d be sunk!
<3 "tens of dollars"
I have been thinking along these lines as well.
My probable small profits – a few hundred for a cover commission and ebook formatting = negative dollars in my pocket.
And that is so not the point.
The point is to be able to buy at least a cup of coffee with money earned by my writing! Sigh.
Loved your post! And your music!
I sub-contracted out the Kindle formatting of my books. I was SO not going to do that (again, cutting into the profit margin–and I was going to do this all myself gosh darn it!), but these books are going to be up there for years (hopefully) and it’s better to pay a few dollars now for something that looks good forever.
And the time to write is worth a lot.
I’ve been kicking around the self-pub idea, and I think we’re lucky to be in an information environment where we can read about everyone else’s adventures — and misadventures — before leaping in. I like computers, but I don’t have enough of a strength to make things look professional and attractive. As you say, I have allies. Self pub or not, I still think it has to be a collaborative effort. No one’s good at everything, and it helps to have a “team” of strengths, IMO!
It is really hard work. Good for you!
Word processing can be so frustrating!
Thanks, as always, to everyone who responded to my latest post. Do you know that your replies are my latest drug of choice? I SO look forward to posting to WU, and then hearing what you have to say. You all say the same thing: We’re all in this together. Sigh, or yay, as the case may be.
Update on World Series of Murder. I did get it Kindlized, and I did get a terrific cover for not much money. I saved myself SO MUCH GRIEF! (And cost myself a fair amount of money.) But anyway, it’s out there now and if you want to see what it looks like, here’s the tiny url: https://tinyurl.com/3bqbbny.
As a special offer to WU folks, if you comment here (comments are forwarded to me) requesting a free copy of World Series of Murder, I’ll personally see that you get one. All I ask is that if the novel floats your boat, you’ll say so on Amazon. That way we can both watch, and further, this adventure together. Best, -jv
The cover looks great! How well did it match the vision you had in your mind’s eye….?
It was a pretty close match. In fact, what happened was that after I finished writing “Let’s Have A Pity Party,” I sent it to the woman who is organizing an upcoming writing workshop for me, so that she could know how much I appreciate her being “one of my allies.” Well, she called me right away and said, “I do cover design, you know.” Since we know each other well, it was easy to collaborate, and for me to get exactly what I wanted. But she’s empathetic like that, and could do the same for everyone. Her name is Stacey Aaronson, and she does fun stuff (in a slightly different context) at http://www.nostalgic-press.com. Not to turn a pity party into a pimping party, but she’s terrific, inexpensive, and I recommend her highly. -jv
Thanks! I’m bookmarking her website now for future reference. You never know…
Love this post; it speaks to exactly where I’ve been stuck for months. Finally, just in the last two weeks, I hired a freelancer to fix up my website, get two older books on kindle (after getting a reversion of rights), and design a functional Facebook page. I was losing so much writing time dithering about these things my agent said needed to be done that I finally wised up and realized that I was throwing boulders in my own writing road. What pushed me over the edge was that the instructions for my blog had required a translator–I still don’t get what widgets and trackbacks really are. I could spend all my time trying to understand those; or I could get on with the research for the new novel. I appreciate that you’ve validated that sometimes one just has to let go and allocate time and financial resources based on most important goals.
Congratulations on the kindle edition of World Series of Murder. I’d love to read and point out the positives on Amazon!
John – I feel your pain. Especially with the cover stuff. You can’t imagine how many months I wasted, dollars I spent and designers I went through before settling on a decent design for my blog and book cover (same design for both, which made it harder.) In the end, I learned 1) not to try the DIY approach with no prior experience 2) that it is INCREDIBLY hard to translate mental images into words that can be communicated with another human being and into reality and 3) and that the tools available for researching competent pros to help out poorly conceived, and extremely scarce. The upshot is I now have a few good names up my sleeve. Just give a holler if you’d like them!
Hi John –
I’d love to have a copy of World Series of Murder! Looking forward to reading it. :-)
On its way. Let me know if it did/didn’t get through. Also, if you need an e-version other than Kindle, let me know that, too. -jv
[…] John Vorhaus at Writer Unboxed – Let’s Have a Pity Party. […]