Culprits that Block Writers from Reaching a Pro Level
By Ray Rhamey | April 21, 2011 |
Any writer who’s been at this for a while knows that that there’s a long and increasingly steep learning curve involved with mastering the art of crafting a professional novel.
Good writers who’ve been at this for a while can also spot, instantly, flaws in another’s narrative.
But we have trouble seeing our own, don’t we? And our failure to see and correct our own faults earn us what happens to workshoppers in literary agent Kristin Nelson’s writers conference workshops (called the Agent Reads the Slush Pile workshop).
Reality bites
So here’s Kristin’s workshop, “Agent Reads the Slush Pile:” a writer reads aloud from the opening page of a manuscript. Kristin simulates what happens when she reads submissions at her agency by saying “stop” when she would not have continued reading. She then explains why.
Keep in mind that each narrative opening that Kirstin critiques has, and there’s no doubt in my mind, been arduously worked and reworked until the writer felt that it was going to earn a giant “YES!” when Kristin read it.
That’s the anticipation we all have when we send our work to a critique partner, an agent, an editor—it will work! Oh, we may say out loud that we have no expectations of success, but, be honest, isn’t that “yes” not only what we want to hear, but think is entirely possible?
In Kristin’s most recent workshop, only one entry made it past page 1. For the majority of the rest, she said stop after the first 2 paragraphs.
The first 2 paragraphs.
Me, too
I can tell you that happens with the submissions to my blog, Flogging the Quill. It only takes about that much reading to spot the ones I’m not going to read further. Of the more than 450 submissions I’ve had so far, while quite a few passed the “turn the page” test, not more than 10 had what I considered professional-caliber writing.
The culprits
Kristin, in her blog post about this, listed the culprits that stop her from reading further. My list is much the same.
1. Telling instead of showing.
2. Including unnecessary back story.
3. Loose sentence structure that could easily be tightened
4. The use of passive sentence construction.
5. Awkward introduction of character appearance.
6. Awkward descriptions/overly flowery language to depict.
7. Starting the story in the wrong place.
8. Not quite nailing voice in the opening.
9. Dialogue that didn’t quite work as hard as it should.
10. A lack of scene tension even if the opening was supposed to be dramatic.
Kristen is kind enough to say that these are mechanics that a beginning writer can learn to correct. But, she says, you have to be fearless. And the only way to learn is through a strong critique that points out your issues.
Would these writers have submitted their work if they’d had professional-level criticism? If those culprits showed up in the critique, I bet no.
If only we really did have extra eyes in the backs of our heads
“Fresh eyes” is the one way to get to see our writing’s flaws before we put it out there and have it, well, rejected. Maybe if we had a second pair of eyes in the backs of our heads that didn’t connect with our throbbing, hopeful writer’s hearts we could gain the insights we need. We could see how low on the learning curve we were.
Moral of story:
Get some extra brains to help roll you further up your learning curve. I’ve had the extremely good fortune to be in critique groups that had wise, savvy fresh eyes. There were two partners in particular that opened my vision to flaws and solutions.
Find a group, or at least a partner. It should be someone who understands what writing a novel means. Where? Try the library, or bookstores.
You may be in a group where some writers are not at your level, and never will be. Their advice may sound goofy to you at first glance. But listen anyway. In the groups I was in, every criticism, whether I liked or believed it or not, made me look again. There’s often a kernel of truth within the chaff that you hear.
Lastly, if you’re serious about achieving an agent or publication, give real thought to engaging a professional editor for a critique before you submit to agents. I’m a professional editor, and that’s what I did before publishing my new novel, We the Enemy.
For what it’s worth.
Ray Rhamey is the author of five novels and one writing craft book, Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling. He’s also an editor of book-length fiction and designs book covers and interiors for Indie authors and small presses. His website, crrreative.com, offers an a la carte menu of creative services for writers and publishers. Learn more about Ray’s books at rayrhamey.com.
“Fresh eyes” is advice that never stales for me. Thanks for a great post, Ray!
Love this, Ray. As always, these tips are coming just when I needed them!
Thanks for the post. :) I recently submitted the first page of one of my novels to Suzie Townsend’s First-Page Shooter contest on her blog, for a chance to see what I can improve on.
I’m lucky enough to have a solid network of friends both IRL and online who are willing to read and critique my work, and who don’t pull punches when they think I can do better. I have one or two people to whom I show the rough draft, and then tiers of “fresh eyes” to help me with the subsequent drafts. It’s good to have people to tell me when something has improved, just as it’s good to have someone tell me their impressions of an edited draft, having seen it for the first time.
For writers who don’t have a built-in critique group, I definitely recommend http://www.fanstory.com, or the forums at the Dead Robots Society podcast, or the Yahoo group associated with the Magical Words blog. Also, MeetUp.com has tons of writers groups, and if there isn’t one in your area, you can start one. Some of them even meet online. I’ve found out about a lot of events that way, and it’s helping me get better connected with writers of all levels in my area.
Thanks for reiterating the list.
Yes, a great crit group is invaluable!! It took me a few years to find them, but ever since I did, my writing has grown by leaps and bounds.
(Psst: If anyone’s interested, I changed my CommentLuv link below to the one where I blogged about my crit group, since it’s more relevant to this post. Usually I just let it default to the most recent.)
Thank you for a nice direct list of good advice. I wish we could develop those necessary fresh and carefully critical eyes in ourselves each time we read, but I know how blurred things become for the writer. I like keeping a concise list up on my computer to keep reminding me of what I might not see.
Pat Esposito
Great post! The list of culprits is going up on my bulletin board right now.
Fresh eyes is crucial — and sometimes that’s all it takes to realize how much work there is to do. Even putting away our own work for a while isn’t the same as having a seasoned editor or critique partner read it. I’m always relieved when I realize that need never goes away – it’s something all writers have in common no matter how published, or not.
A useful list of things to watch out for.
Thanks for sharing :)
Lauren, if you want more fresh eyes on your opening page, keep in mind that’s what I do twice a week on my blog, Flogging the Quill–critique opening pages. The nice thing is that there are writers who follow the blog and often offer helpful comments.
Good luck with the contest.
Ray
Definitely! We are always so blind to our own mistakes. (In writing – hopefully not in life) :)
This is great advice, Ray. It’s going on my wall.
This is wonderful advice and actually made it to my “print and keep and go back again and again” file. Thank you!
Those “fresh eyes” are invaluable when it comes to learning the craft and growing as a writer. My submissions to Ray’s flogometer have benefitted greatly from the insights given. Each time, I come away with a newly discovered flaw I was unaware existed previously. My writing has improved as a result. Every time I get closer to a “Yes, I’d turn the page” is another step closer I get to a publishable manuscript.
Great post, Ray. Like Brunonia said, this is is going right next to the laptop.
I read Kristen’s list just the other day and it made me delete the first chapter of my WIP because it wasn’t where the story started, which was chapter two. Great post, Ray!
Great advice. I’m going to my first writing group this weekend :)
I hadn’t yet seen Flogging the Quill, looks like a great blog to follow, thanks!
I ask my test-readers to mark passages with C for Confusing or B for boring and to put checkmarks next to the segments they like. Most people (who are not agents at a panel!) are too polite to say if a segment is boring, so I look for spots that have no checkmarks.
I find the feedback from readers who are not writers is often more helpful than my fellow aspiring writers, who are beholden to so many rules and not editing from the guts.
The guts! Everyone says that, but what does it mean? For me, it’s a very small sensation in my stomach. Perhaps core muscles tensing? Who knows! But sometimes when the mind is worn out from revising the same passage over and over, the gut knows.
I read submissions for a literary magazine, and I remember when I first started, one of the editors told me that I didn’t have to read each story in its entirety–he said you can usually tell in the first paragraph or two if it’s worth it to keep going.
I was a little shocked, but quickly realized he was right. We make those quick judgements, too, when we’re browsing books at a store or library. It really has to grab you, and quickly. Great tips here, thanks!
And may I suggest, not just ONE set of fresh eyes, but a Second, Third, and Fourth…! Different critiquers/editors see different things. Get all the feedback you can. A MS is never really ever “done,” is it???? Well…until it’s at B&N anyway.
Thanks for the culprit list and the encouragement to seek out fresh eyes. So important for us to reach outside our comfort zone.
Thanks for the list, Ray. I’m going to check out the links you posted, as well. Very succinct writing!
‘Fresh eyes:’ we need them for every aspect of our writing, including marketing and publishing. Thanks for the refreshing post!
Good reminder, Ray. The most accomplished among us should heed the warning – we tend to brush off the comments/suggestions of newbies. But I’ve found them helpful. They may not not how to explain what bothered them, but you can be sure there’s something wrong with the part they’re pointing out.
Your readers may not know (or care) what did it – they’ll just put it down.
Great advice! I’m lucky to have a mentor/editor who used to be an agent. She critiques and edits all my work and I always come away awed by what she finds wrong! I never saw it coming! And I go over my work a gazillion times before I send it to her. I completely agree with you – another set of eyes.
Some of the best critics are terrible writers. So be generous when trying out writing groups. Another thing that I’ve found with criticism, is that sometimes the critic gets the solution wrong, but often she’s right that there is a problem that needs to be addressed.
[…] Culprits That Block Writers From Reaching a Pro Level […]
Excellent advice!!
The list of 10 culprits posted here also happens to exist on my whiteboard at home, albeit worded a bit differently and in a different order but as I go through each draft of my novel (I’m working on my second), that list is there to ensure that I’m doing my job.
Thanks for the reinforcement!
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