Believing in yourself + free ebooks
By Ray Rhamey | January 20, 2011 |
When do you give up believing in your vision as a writer? And in your capabilities?
When do you say to yourself, “The rest of the world keeps rejecting me, so I must not be any good at this? I quit.”
Here’s what got me to thinking about this. On my blog, Flogging the Quill, I started the New Year with a post that wished all of us luck in our writing, and then went on to list some of the things I plan to do this year. They included a sequel to my vampire kitty-cat novel and publishing two of my novels that have not found agent representation or a publisher home. A part of that plan is to publish them as ebooks and price them at $1.99. Author and friend of FtQ Karen McQuestion writes of how her Kindle editions have made a huge difference in her career.
And then a troll left this comment on my blog:
“You should change the title of your how to book, to Crafting a Novel that Sells from an Author Who Writes Books that Nobody Reads. As to your plans for a sequel, exactly how many copies have you sold?”
The how-to book this delightful human being referred to is my Flogging the Quill, Crafting a Novel that Sells. I was tempted to blast back, but didn’t because of concern about retaliation from that person on the Internet. I’ll admit that I smiled when another commenter said this: “Why would anyone spend the time to try to soil someone else’s day with crap? Are you just naturally mean-spirited, or do you have to work at it?”
Still, that evening I found myself at a low ebb. My dobber was down. Questions bubbled up from the muck of self-doubt. Was I crazy for believing that people will actually buy my stuff?
Was it even remotely intelligent to spend countless hours writing and rewriting, and designing, and creating websites and podcasts, not to mention spending the dollars to host those websites and to purchase little items such as ISBN numbers, proofs, and advance review copies?
Am I a self-deluded fool?
After all, like many of you, I’ve sent scores of queries to agents that bounced. Oh, I did have an agent for a while, but he was a newbie when we met up, and I don’t know if he’d take me on today. His submissions didn’t pay off, though there was positive feedback on my writing.
And a number of excellent agents have read partials and fulls of my work. Most responded with praise for my writing, but didn’t fall in love with the stories. Fair enough. Perhaps the fact that it’s a story thing and not a writing thing is hopeful.
On the other hand, what if none of my stories will ever resonate enough to avoid making my troll’s nasty note take on the force of reality? Am I pissing into the wind by insisting on self-marketing my novels to readers?
I have to face the fact, just as you do when you engage in yet another round of submissions to agents, that the answer could be “yes.”
Y’know what? I don’t care.
Actually, I do care. To not think about the merits of your work would be delusional. If you don’t question it, you will never grow. But I think there are good reasons for me to keep at it, and for you, too.
For me, I KNOW that a number of readers have truly enjoyed reading my novels, and enjoyed them just as strongly as other readers didn’t care for them. What that means to me is that I’m not all wrong in the stories I tell. It’s just that they’re not right for everybody.
Well, duh. Of course not.
So why let the naysayers and pissants like my troll discourage us?
It’s the knocking, stupid.
Once upon a time, I was a door-to-door salesman in a summer job between semesters at college. I learned (the hard way, in 100-degree Texas heat) the truth of the maxim that selling is just a matter of knocking on enough doors.
I was selling family bibles, carrying a 30-pound case of samples and dressed in a suit and tie. In a Texas summer. For the first four days of my first week, I was universally met with rejection. Mostly polite, some cold, but all doors were shut in my face.
I was seriously discouraged, but kept at it. And then, on the fifth day, I knocked on a door where, as soon as I said what I was doing, the homeowner said, “Great! Please come in, I’ve been wanting to buy one of those. Would you like a glass of water?”
I sold a bible and a hymnal to that marvelous person, and had a wonderful glass of ice water as a bonus.
So. . .maybe, in all of our efforts to connect with readers and agents and editors, the thing to focus on is not the rejections but the possibilities.
It IS possible that one of my novels will catch on, especially if I make ebooks available for $1.99 so that the risk for readers is very low. Maybe the discovery of one novel will lead to the discovery of others. Maybe an agent or an acquisitions editor will hear about one of them, investigate, and then say “Where have you been all of my life?”
Yes, it’s true that what we produce may never sell. It’s true that it may never, in fact, be good enough to sell. But we can’t know that for sure, can we?
And there may be that one reader, that one agent, that one editor for whom our work provokes a giant YES!
So I did it.
I “manufactured” ebook versions of the two books mentioned above and re-priced my vampire kitty-cat novel. The books are up on the Amazon Kindle store and at Smashwords, where many ebook formats are available, including for the Kindle and the Nook. I’ll produce POD paperback versions as soon as economics and time allow.
I’ve also put up a new website. If you’re interested, there are sample chapters at the eponymous rayrhamey.com (I’ve never use that word before, and I’m so tickled to have an opportunity!).
But it’s scary.
In “regular” publishing, there’s an agent and then an editor, at the minimum, to guide you and vet your work. You can have some confidence that professional, experienced minds have evaluated your work and judged it publishable and saleable.
Not so with a self-publisher. You’re putting yourself out there pretty much naked. It’s true that I’ve had great critique partners for my novels, and they’ve helped shape and sharpen the narrative, but they’re not in the business of making money on the marketing of novels, and thus not informed about what a money-making novel really looks like.
So I’m a little—okay, a lot—nervous about this latest move.
Nonetheless, I’m still a believer.
How about you?
Sample ‘em for free
I’d like to offer free ebooks to 20 Writer Unboxed readers (each book). All I ask in return is feedback. If you like the book, a review on the Amazon Kindle page would also be very much appreciated.
For a free ebook, email me at ray at ftqpress.com with: 1. that you saw the offer on Writer Unboxed; 2. which book or books you want; 3. your name and agreement to give feedback.
In return, I’ll send you coupon codes and links that let you “purchase” online e-versions for $0.00.
Have a taste on rayrhamey.com, where samples await.
Postscript on the troll
On the subject of trolls, there have been others visiting FtQ lately maligning my blog and what I do there. They, too, make me wonder about whether or not I’m doing anything of value. Well, during the weekend an answer arrived in the form of an email from a writer named Liz.
“It’s been nearly two years since you reviewed some of my work. I know, I know, you look at so many you probably don’t even remember my name.
“BUT…I wanted to thank you for your help at a time when I needed a ‘third-eye.’ This past year I’ve sold two novels and am hopeful for a blooming career going forward, if not a best seller than a happy mid-lister at least.”
Thank you, Liz, for making my day. And the readers of Writer Unboxed and all the other good guys out there in the Internet writing community that work hard, try hard, and contribute.
Dear Troll: put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Ray Rhamey is the author of five novels and one writing craft book, Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling. He’s also an editor of book-length fiction and designs book covers and interiors for Indie authors and small presses. His website, crrreative.com, offers an a la carte menu of creative services for writers and publishers. Learn more about Ray’s books at rayrhamey.com.
Ray, your second thoughts and self-doubt are common to all writers. Thank you for pointing out the truth: if what we do and say can be helpful to other people, then we’re on the right path.
Some people are only happy after they’ve knocked someone else to the floor, because they feel so important, so big. But, yeah, they’re trolls. I’m sorry you went through that; it makes me mad for you. You’ve helped countless writers at Flogging the Quill to better understand what it means to write compelling opening pages, and I know that you have a lot of fans–including us.
Trad publishing is in so many ways about luck: finding the perfect agent and then editor who believe believe in your work, who are able to convince a publishing house to stand behind it. It should never be about validation of talent. There are gorgeous works of fiction sitting under beds because they didn’t find their match. Believing in yourself is everything. It’s likely the most critical component in determining whether or not success may lie in any of our futures. So yes: Believe.
Henry Ford said, “Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.” Most everyone has self doubt, but the question is; whether it will cripple ambition and achievement. That person who made the crack about your book is nasty, and his comment shows far more about him than about you. And it’s not as nasty as the Seattle Post-Intelligencer reviewer who called one of my novels “ludicrous twaddle.” I’ve been in the business so long that these things don’t bother me any more. Keep moving forward. Success is like looking for our lost car keys: it’s always in the last place we look. –A fellow Washington State University grad, and proud of it.
Ray – did you read my mind this morning? I’ve been up since 3:30 ruminating over this very subject. As you know, I’ve had similar experiences — including trolls leaving snide comments on a local news story about my novel-on-a-blog. And as an idea for a new book percolates in my mind, I’m torn between the exhilarating urge to write it, and the increasingly strong voice of doubt asking things like, “how do you even know it’s a valid story idea without an agent or editor to ok it?” “Wouldn’t you be doing your family a favor by spending that time on your day job instead?” Thanks for reminding me in the importance of believing, even in moments of doubt.
It sucks that the internet makes it easy for anonymous people to tear others down in a vain attempt to make themselves feel better. But I’m glad you didn’t let it get to you for long. Your feedback on one of my project made it infinitely better.
Ray–I have become a great believer in karma of late and I have to hold to this: people who spend their lives in negativity will only attract negativity in return. It’s not any mystical belief that if I visualize a winning lottery ticket hard enough the universe will give it to me, but the simple observation that if you smile at someone, chances are they will smile back and you will both feel better. If the smallest of positive gestures can make a difference, then so can the negative ones. I believe we have a choice in how we react in the world. The choice you made not to engage the troll in negativity but to move forward in your live says a lot about you and your future success.
Keeping the faith in writer-land!
BOOOO on trolls. They are so lame and unnecessary. I’m glad you didn’t let them win, and good luck on the ebook efforts!
We all know the stories of famous authors who got tons of rejections before their books found a home, took off, and now are part of our literary heritage. In the current literary/economic climate, how many books with the potential for similar greatness are going unpublished? As a reader first and a writer second, this saddens me. Self publishing is the great equalizer in this market, and thank heavens for it. It is the wave of the future. Never scold yourself for being courageous, I say.
The thing about self-publishing is that it IS a matter of knocking on the right number of doors. Or the right doors in the first place. I’ve had my books up since October, and I got caught up in the marketing rat race to the point that I exhausted myself. I can’t write. I’m too tired.
So best of luck, with a bit of caution: don’t let sales be the only thing now that you’ve got your books out there. Give yourself time to relax enough so you can write more.
Ray – I love this post. It’s a lot easier to spread negativity than to actually try to acheive a goal. Whenever I think “I could do that, I could have written that,” I just remember that, hey, I didn’t. And until you start knocking on some doors, you’re just talk.
I say, ‘Go for it’, Ray! As long as you’re writing, as long as you have stories to tell, you should tell them. And the internet does mean they don’t have to languish under the bed forever. So good for you!
I loved your post. It touched on so many aspects of writing that we (read “I”) obsess about–the hope, the fear of being dashed by negative feedback, the serendipitous nature of publishing and the little-engine-that-could nature of the struggle. And the very real dichotomy of writing vs storytelling. Two separate, but essential skills to getting that much-sought-after book deal. I read your blog regularly and ALWAYS learn something, usually a better way to put my thoughts into words.
My favorite part of this blog was the positive, hopeful story of being a door-to-door salesman. You never know if the next door you knock on will be the one. Keep knocking. Someone will eventually answer and say “I’ve been waiting for you. Come in!”
As much as I feel overwhelmed keeping up with blogs, Twitter, etc., I am always thrilled to come across a post when I need it most. I’m definitely going through a “why am I wasting my time” moment for exactly the same reasons you have. But what else are we going to do, eh? People think it’s romantic when we say, “we’re writers, we don’t have a choice.” But nothing could be closer to the truth. If I could be an accountant, Lord knows I would!
Count me as another person who’s learned a ton from your blog, Ray.
I also have an applicable quote that I think will give you a kick:
“Don’t try to win over the haters, you’re not the jackass whisperer.” ~Scott Stratten
;)
Fabulous post – and exactly where I am right now, too.
Too often only the people with negative things to say speak up. My first review for my first book was so fabulous, I didn’t think about even looking for more reviews. Then one of those really crappy reviews came along – 5 years after the book was published – and it was hard to deal with at first. But then more wonderful reviews came along – it helps to have the balance in your favor.
Still, I’m feeling overwhelmed about this whole business – does anybody even read anymore or is everybody writing? Should I stop writing especially since too many don’t get me? But then I think about my writing accomplishments so far and realize I’ve said exactly what I wanted to say in those books. And if I have something else to say, I’ll write that, too.
Thanks for posting this – often we feel like we’re the only one standing up and telling it the way it is as others lurk in the dark. I so appreciate you!
ray, when you crit someone’s work, you don’t light into something they wrote with a gotcha attitude. you don’t write their work off as crap. you pinpoint where you believe they’re missing the boat – especially the story’s hook. And you give a decent dab of line editing as well. So this tidbit of criticism was the paper it was written on (lol) because it was just negative venting on an unsuspecting person. but i am sure it hurt and that kind of behavior is just wrong. it just seems to be one of the darker side effects of being a writer.
Hi Ray
Even best selling authors like J.K. Rowling, Stephanie Meyer & Anne Rice have their detractors. If your writing is good, it will find an audience. So many authors struggle to find a literary agent hoping it will open the doors to publication. The truth is, I’ve had two agents in the past, but this does not guarantee publication. If anything, they will vouch for the quality of your works.
If I had not gone ahead and self-published, my books would not have the readership it has now. Nor would it have caught the attention of a film producer. Today, my entertainment attorney negotiated a movie trilogy for major motion pictures. Pre-production begins this winter.
BTW, have you checked out Lightning Source for your print books? They are very professional, affordable and use Ingram to distribute to B&N, Amazon, Chapters/Indigo, and more for far less than many POD companies out there!
All the best and keep on writing!
Thank you all for your encouraging words. Lorna, I do use Lightning Source–they’re the POD for my vampire kitty book, and I’ll be sending another one as soon as I get it copyedited.
Thanks again, everyone.
I’ve never understood the ‘trolls’ mentality — how does making someone else feel bad make them feel good? I’ve read your blog many times, and I’ve always learned something from it. Thank you for taking risks and sharing what you learn along the way.
Wow, some people don’t have a filter. I think you made the right choice in not responding, you can never look like the good guy when you do.
And, hey who would want to regret not trying something that comes with little risk and possible reward.
Well done.
OH Boy, Someone has been reading my mind lately both here at over at
The Happy Writer. As for your troll — miserable people like to make others miserable. As for the writer’s misery? I think I’m going to dig out an old troll doll and dress him up with a sign: Ignore the turkeys and keep putting one word in front of the other. Thank you, Ray for giving us all a shot in the arm.
Woe to be a troll. How pitiful that such miserable creatures feel so compelled to plaster their unnecessary and wholly unappreciated nastiness in every available corner. It’s my guess that we’ve all had experience with some creepy troll who comes along to drop their load, (mine was actually a face to face encounter on a Sunday morning as I was leaving Church!!!) They are everywhere and perversely determined that we be in receipt of their opinion. Well, the jokes on them because as every “writer from the soul” knows, once we’re done wallowing and feeling miserable (and really, we do have to wallow even just a little), we find ourselves even more determined to pile-up our reserves of faith and perseverance, and come out swinging, prepared to fight another day. No troll shall seize the day!
Your posts here on WU, remain some of my favorites, Ray. I look forward to adding your books to my nearly bare Kindle. (The only book I’ve downloaded thus far is my own. lol. I’m a paper and ink kind’ve girl, so a little slow to switch gears!)
Yep – those icky trolls enjoy preying on both aspiring authors and seasoned veterans alike. Where do they get the gall?
I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
Keep dreaming and keep writing (and selling!) your books! :)
Judy (South Africa)
Haven’t read all the comments, so sorry if I’m repeating, but I think the decision to take your books to the eBook market via self publishing is the right now. Not only does it give you the chance to make a bit of money on the books you have available, but you get to make use of all the free marketing from your FtQ site, and you get additional free marketing because you now have a backlist available.
In addition, you get the practice of formatting an eBook (even if Smashwords makes it really easy, it does take a little bit of work), and that will come in handy for publishing future works.
As with movies and music, I think the long tail for books is longer than anyone would believe, we just haven’t had a way to generate the data to back that up until now.