Cartoon Caption Challenge
By Debbie Ohi | November 20, 2010 |
I’ve been traveling a great deal recently (I’m at a convention in Texas right now) so am posting a caption challenge instead of my regular cartoon this weekend.
Feel free to post your suggestions for a caption for the cartoon below! The winner will get a selection of my custom-made greeting cards.
Debbie Ridpath Ohi writes and illustrates books for young people. Recent illustration projects for Simon & Schuster Children’s include books by Judy Blume and Michael Ian Black. Her blog for children’s book writers & illustrators: Inkygirl.com. On Twitter: @inkyelbows
Posted in Humor
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OK. Here goes a first try on the caption challenge:
“Call me Ishbel.” is a catchy opening line, but really I’m not sure the world is ready for a chick lit version of Moby Dick.
There’s a lot of dead bodies in your story. And it ends with a happily ever after? Really?”
“My therapist said it would take years to work through my anger issues, but I don’t know. One fictional murderous rampage, and I’m feeling pretty good.”
“This is where something amazing happens. I know because I’ve written ‘Here, something amazing happens.’ So imagine something amazing. I’ll fix it later.”
“She was the most stunning woman Ralph had ever met, with short ginger hair that curled up a bit in the back, a pert and pointy little nose, and the cutest pair of John Lennon glasses…”
“I know the beginning’s slow, but I swear it picks up by page forty.”
16 pages of prologue?
LOL I love Therese’s!!
“When we talk about the ‘Fire in Fiction,’ we don’t necessarily mean torching every character in the book.”
“I was with you until the Flying Dildos Variety Hour.”
“So it’s Psycho meets Seven and you’re calling it ‘Silence of the Chainsaws?'”
Heh…love the responses so far! :-D
Debbie
‘My diagnosis as a script doctor? Your book needs a colon-oscopy and vowel surgery.”
“When I said I needed documentation of your writing expenses to prepare your tax return, I was hoping for something less … narrative.”
“What? No vampires and zombies?”
“What? No vampires or zombies?”
“Wow. I never read a sex scene that lasted for eight chapters before. BTW, who did you pattern this great-stamina-guy after? Anyone I know? Hmmm?”
“A sex scene that lasts for eight chapters? Well, I know the hero isn’t patterned after your husband! Or mine!”
“A sex scene that lasts for eight chapters and takes place in every room in the house EXCEPT the bedroom? Do NOT let your mother read this!”
“Here – in the seventh chapter of the sex scene. Are you SURE that’s anatomically possible?”
But you said 50 thousand words, you didn’t say they had to make sense….um, I may need a little more time.
“Perhaps ‘Wingdings’ was not the best choice of font.”
Well, it is stated clearly in the relationship book of ethics, chapter 1, section 7, paragraph 3. “A man should always shut-up when his girl is pointing out how many times he has screwed-up”
“It is not you, but there are too many ‘me’, ‘I’ and ‘myself’ in your book.”
I’d love to dazzle you with a snappy caption, but I can’t think of anything as clever as Therese’s line about “this is where something amazing happens.” I so empathize with that! That’s where I say, “A giant meteor hits and everyone dies.” One of my friends says of the heroine “This is where the stupid bitch dies because anyone who gets herself in that situation deserves it.”
“Mrs. Jones, I asked your son for an essay about his hero, and he turned this in: 27 pages of things he doesnt like about Obama.”
“It’s not bad, but I think it needs a lot less vampires v.s werewolves and a lot more…everything else.”
“Since when do divorce settlements include me having to admit that I’m a pshyco crazy bitch who can’t have the the damn dog?”
A murder mystery, ah? And, the title, “800 Women,” refers to an internet Lothario, who preyed upon lonely females and how they got their revenge… Sounds good to me!
“Of course it’s autobiographical. I may never have actually been the Queen of Minsodalpia, but I was a cheerleader in high school. Same thing.”
“So, uh, you haven’t slept in how many days? There’s a period in here somewhere, right?”
“50,000 words for NaNoWriMo in four days?!? Oh, dear, they’re supposed to be DIFFERENT words.”
“How long since you slept? You always forget to punctuate when you’re sleep-deprived.”
Really, “Memoirs of a Soccer Mom”? No one expects to read, “Took kids to soccer practice, came home by 6pm, and fixed dinner.” Where’s the steamy sex scene with hot, male-stripper referee, in the back of his Mini Cooper?
“Where is the chapter about the boy wizard? I thought there was going to be a boy who was a wizard in this story.”
“You do realize that to win nanowrimo you have to type more than the same word 50,000 times, right?”
Out of all the test papers I received I like yours the best. It’s so uncluttered with…uh….words and sentences……and answers….
Don’t you hate it when the rejection letter is longer than the manuscript? There is something to be said for a simple ‘no’.
“It needs more cowbell”
“Oh, Ms. Rowling, do you honestly believe anyone would buy a book about a boy wizard named Harry?”
“Did you ever find yourself wishing for a form rejection?”
Marc Vun kannon
https://authorguy.wordpress.com
“Handsome orcs and sparkling wraiths fighting over angsty teenage girl? Darling, you got yourself a bestseller here!”
“Are you sure this is your manuscript? It looks like your son’s research paper.”