Me, Julia Roberts, and The Pie in the Sky
By Nina Badzin | October 17, 2010 |
Therese here. Today’s guest is Nina Badzin, who was one of the quarter-finalists in our search for an unpublished contributor for the blog. Since our search, Nina has had a story published by Sleet Magazine–“Son”–which was also nominated for a Pushcart Prize. Other fiction credits include works in Literary Mama, Scribblers on the Roof, Talking Stick; and another that will soon be published in The Potomac: a Journal of Poetry and Politics. (Go, Nina!) We’re thrilled she’s agreed to let us share her WU entry with you here today–on being a writer, saying it, believing it, owning it. Enjoy!
———-
Me, Julia Roberts, and The Pie in the Sky
For the unpublished novelist, saying, “I’m a writer,” takes tremendous confidence. I’ve published a few pieces in small journals and dabbled in stories all of my life—writing them, telling them, reading them with a flashlight in the middle of the night. But I’m reluctant to call myself a writer to anyone other than my mother who’s been scanning the bestseller lists for my name since I won a playwriting contest in seventh grade.
Maybe I hesitate to use the label because I’ve yet to make a dime from my efforts. Maybe I’m waiting for an agent, a sale, and that gorgeous hardcover book. I’m not sure. All I know is that on the occasion that people ask me how long I’ve been thinking about becoming a writer, I give them two answers. And I rarely say the words, “I’m a writer NOW.”
My initial response is, “For as long as I can remember.” It’s the insecure, self-deprecating, pie-in-the-sky answer I use to avoid discussing my goal of publishing a novel, a notion I imagine sounds as preposterous as my saying I’m jetting out to L.A. and auditioning against Julia Roberts for a starring role.
My second answer is the one I hope will transform me from a doe-eyed day dreamer into a bona fide author. I tell people I’ve been “working on” becoming a writer for four years.
And it’s accurate—at least the timeline.
Four years ago I made a decision to stop fantasizing about writing and actually do it. I write before my kids wake up. I write in the afternoon when they nap, I write when they have a babysitter, or during their swim lessons, and when I should be exercising, cooking or doing anything else. If I’m not writing, I’m thinking about writing. I think about the characters in my newest project and even the ones from the two novels I completed in the past four years, manuscripts I changed countless times before I finally got the good sense to hide them on a file on my computer—a sense that developed after spending every spare moment of the past four years honing my craft.
Who but a writer would say something as pretentious as honing the craft? And if a writer writes, then I suppose that’s what I am. A writer. There, I said it. A writer. Me.
Still, every muscle in my body clenches at the idea of saying the words out loud. Perhaps it’s because in my more paranoid moments, I interpret my friends’ interest as roundabout criticism. In hear, “I’d love to hear what you’re writing about” as I can’t imagine you have anything to say. “I don’t know how you find the time” becomes you must be neglecting your children.
Nevertheless, I write. That’s what writers do. We write. And it’s probably time I go public with the truth. I. Am. A. Writer. I’m a writer who plans to keep reaching for that pie in the sky.
Thanks so much for a great post, Nina!
Readers, do you find–or have you ever found–it difficult to own the “writer” label? Is it wound up with publication, or not? (And psst, you can follow Nina on Twitter at @NinaBadzin.) Write on.
Nina Badzin is a writer and blogger who lives in Minneapolis with her husband and four children. Her work has appeared in numerous literary magazines, as well as the Huffington Post’s books, parenting, religion, and technology pages. In a strange turn of events, Nina has become the go-to gal for Twitter advice. This confuses her parents and her husband to no end. She tweets at @NinaBadzin and blogs regularly at https://ninabadzin.com. You can find her on Facebook, too.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by SFWA authors, Manuela Durson. Manuela Durson said: Writer Unboxed » Blog Archive » Me, Julia Roberts, and The Pie in …: It's the insecure, self-deprecating, pie-in… https://bit.ly/cy66d2 […]
There’s something about labelling yourself that immediately makes you feel you need to show something to back it up. It’s as if claiming to be a writer is on par with claiming to have won a Nobel prize.
Me? I don’t say “I’m a writer,” because it’s just weird. I prefer the irrefutable statement: “I’m writing stuff at the moment.”
Right there with you. I’ll say anything in place of “writer.” Freelancer, being the most common, and vague enough so as not to have any real meaning. If I were a housepainter, say, I’d just hang out a shingle, buy an ad in the yellow pages, or just buy some rollers and brushes and have no problem calling myself a painter. As writers, I think we do it because so many people talk about their dreams of being writers, and in many cases, those people aren’t writing a word. I think we’re afraid of being lumped in like that. That, and everybody who passed senior English thinks they can write so sure, everybody’s a writer. That’s why we hold out for the publishing contract before fessing up. And we want to be taken seriously, so we only tell those people who know what being a writer means. Great post. Thanks for sharing.
You know what I did two weeks ago to feel more like a ‘writer’ and to cut down on those poor, sad manuscripts on my desktop? I threw my latest, unpublished and abandoned book up on Smashwords and Feedbooks–for free, mind you, with no ISBN or any thought other than to share what I’ve worked on so hard with other people who might like it–rather than let it moulder unread and unloved on my desktop like my 4 other finished-but-not-sold novels. It was incredibly freeing! Hey! See! I am a writer! And you can read something I wrote! 1600 downloads later, I feel like I can handle NaNoWriMo one more time.
It’s fun to tell people you’re a writer! In response, they will say one of these things:
– I know someone who is a writer. They are very successful/unsuccessful.
– I’d like to write too, but I don’t have the time.
– Wow, you have so many hobbies!
Yep, it’s a hard thing to say. My usual phrase is, “I’m a writer, but I work as a receptionist to pay the bills.” People tend to nod in response, and then ask what I write. I can live with that. (Or at least, I have so far, right?)
Congrats on your publications! Seems like you shouldn’t have too hard a time saying “I’m a writer” anymore. ;D
Nina Badzin is a writer.
I know because she’s my critique partner. I know because not only does she turn out her own amazing product, she also helps me improve my own.
I will also add that she’s insightful, generous, hospitable, more beautiful than Julia Roberts, and she manages all this without neglecting her kids, or her husband . . .or her dishes. ; )
There is a beautiful hard cover in her future. No doubt about it.
I can identify so well with what you have written. This year, I have actually earned a few dimes but it is still in the early stages. Sounds like you are well on the way!
By the way, you might want to check out a movie the Julia Roberts was in recently–I wrote about it in my blog at
https://pm27.wordpress.com/2010/09/06/julia-roberts-eats-prays-and-searches-for-love/
Patricia
Even with a decade of publishing magazine articles to my credit, I hesitate before telling people I also write novels. It’s anticipating the “where can I buy your books?” question that does me in. They figure books are published as readily as magazines, and don’t understand why I can’t produce one as easily as the other. I do consider myself a writer, mind you… just not an *author* yet. ;)
Nina, you might have trouble calling yourself a writer, but you have a fanclub president already in Anne. :)
I’m most comfortable saying “I write”, rather than that I am a writer. If I use the latter label, I still feel I need to use the qualifier “aspiring.”
Al: I definitely use the “I’m writing _______ at the moment” line. Or usually, “I’m working on _________.”
Kimberly: Yes! The “dreamer” piece terrifies me. That’s why I felt like it was as ludicrous as saying I wanted to be an actress or anything else that many want to do and few achieve.
Sarah: Interesting! And so brave! Good luck with NaNoWriMo. Every October I feel the itch, but my kids are too young (I think). 6, 4, and 1.5
Tamara: I’ve heard #1 and #2 MANY times! Especially #1.
Kristan: Thank you for the congrats! And I hope you’re right. By the way, I always love reading your comments (and posts) on WU.
Anne: We’re a mutual admiration society! When people ask if Twitter is a good idea, I bring up the fact that we wouldn’t have met without it. I feel so lucky!
P-A-McGoldrick: I’d take dimes! I’d take anything! ;)
Carol: Yup, I’m there too—writer, not author. By the way, my least favorite question is: “Who is your publisher?”
Jan: Oh yes, aspiring. I think I could have 25 short stories published in literary journals
and still call myself “aspiring.” I want that book!
I think it was Stephen King in ON WRITING who said, (and I paraphrase), “if you write every day, you may call yourself a writer.”
I especially enjoyed this line:
“I don’t know how you find the time” becomes you must be neglecting your children.
You are a writer, and this is a great post.
I agree with Erika – Nina, you’re definitely a writer!
I began taking my writing more seriously when I started to call myself a writer. People ask me what I’m working on, which makes me accountable; this is motivating. I feel more in control of my work now. And I agree with Carol, too; I call myself a ‘writer’, but I’m not yet an ‘author’.
I always love the response “Oh, I could write a novel/screenplay/opus if I only had the time.” A ‘real’ writer finds the time. A ‘real’ writer will multitask to ensure the writing gets done. A ‘real’ writer has the passion, the zeal, the gumption, and the audacity to know that it’s not IF you get that book deal, it’s WHEN. Good luck!
I loved Nina’s column and think it can apply to just about anything, especially for “working outside the home” mothers. Anything you do outside of being a mom like cooking, laundry, playing games or taking kids to lessons often feels like you are neglecting your children, when in fact it’s good for them to see their mother having a passion. Nina is a talented writer and very in touch with herself – I respect that. She IS a writer!
Of course you are a writer!
As Erika points out from Stephen King, and I would agree, we generally are what we do the most. As an example, which you can definatley relate to, Nina, people claim that I am a mom because I do some “motherly” action everyday. I would have to agree. I will be an author because I have found a shortage in books geared toward my struggling dyslexic son’s level. He may be the only one that reads them, but because they will be read, I feel they count!
I have a post in the works on my own blog titled “My Name Is Stacey, and I Am a Writer.” I’ve been writing professionally for 10+ years, but still, fiction is a whole new ballgame. It’s hard to admit to anyone outside my closest inner circle that I’ve written a book and hope to one day get it, and (dare to dream!) others, published.
I’ve gone so far as to create a separate twitter account for writing-related posts because I’m too … I don’t know, scared, embarrassed, timid … to put my ambitions out there to my entire social circle.
I guess I’m just scared to face all the “I’d love to know what you’re writing abouts” or the “I don’t know how you find the times.”
Nina-
Great stuff, you go girl! I can’t wait to read your next piece.
Keep writing, you’re fabulous.
jordana
Great post! Another wonderful achievement from a smart, talented, successful WRITER. Proud of you!
I always tell people I’m a writer. It’s true I haven’t had anything published yet, but I still tell people I’m a writer. It’s true I don’t work on a novel all the time but I tell people I’m a writer.
When people ask what I’m working on, I tell them I’ve been working on a novel the last two years. I have six chapters finished and it’s supposed to be twenty. It will be more than what I can write, and it will take me another few years to finish it.
Right now, though, I tell people I’m working on a new novel for National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo, and I get to write 50,000 words in 30 days. I tell them I don’t know how I’m going to do it, though, since I work, I have a wedding to attend, as well as Thanksgiving, but I tell them that I’ll make time, and I’ll be spending every single waking moment (when I’m not working) at my laptop, writing this story. Because it needs to be told.
In fact, I’m using this reply as a blog post! :)
I sometimes daydream about the characters from your earlier novels too, Nina! Loved this piece.
[…] That piece, about how hard it was to publicly call myself a writer, appeared on Writer Unboxed in October 2010. I discovered that the “blogging voice” suited me well, and I started my blog one month later. (If you want to know why I decided to call this place “Nina Badzin’s Blog” instead of something clever or cute, I discuss those details here.) […]