Public Speaking
By Therese Walsh | May 11, 2010 |
I have long been fearful of public speaking. When I had to stand up before the board of education several years ago, to fight for a program about to get the ax, I was a shaking, quivering mess.
Since that time, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to present myself to the public — online, here. But that’s public exposure, not public speaking.
As the date for the release of The Last Will of Moira Leahy approached, I was a little concerned. Would the shaking, quivering me come back for an encore, or had I conquered my stage fright? I had a book talk and signing at my local Barnes & Noble the day the book came out. The store was packed; I learned later that 150 people were there to hear my presentation. Not only that, a television crew appeared to get a clip of me and the event for the evening news. I think I did shake, a little, but I got through the television interview. What I really enjoyed, though, was speaking in front of a crowd of people who wanted to know something more about my novel and the process of writing.
I’ve had the chance to speak with nearly a dozen groups since then–book clubs, writing groups, and other interested parties–and every time I step in front of an audience, the process becomes easier. This past weekend, I presented my first workshop at a well-regarded and -attended writers’ conference, The Muse and the Marketplace, in Boston. It seemed like the perfect opportunity for regression, with authors like Brunonia Barry in attendance–actually sitting in a seat before me, listening to me speak (ack!)–but there was no quivering, no shaking. Instead, I felt confident and had a lot of fun with my group.
This spring will bring a few other events, including more book clubs and a Writing Matters writers’ panel this May with fellow novelists Randy Susan Meyers and Shelley Stout in New Jersey. I can honestly say I look forward to all of them.
So what’s come over me? How did I manage the about-face?
I don’t know for sure. But I remember reading an interview months and months ago at the fab Shrinking Violet Promotions blog, with author–and introvert–Maggie Stiefvater. In that interview Maggie, who not only writes but also plays the bagpipes, said:
I was a professional musician. And I used to get the whole sweaty palms shaky limbs nerves thing going on when I was sixteen, seventeen. But I found out something really quickly: you get in front of an audience with your instrument and you fake the smile and the confidence, they can’t tell the difference. And one day, I went out there, and I realized my palms were dry. I just threw my pipes on my shoulder and busted out my tunes and I could do it all day in front of the Pope and throngs of millions. It took a bit of time before I didn’t need an instrument in my hand to be brave, but by then, I knew the secret. It’s pretending to be the person you want to be. And I promise you, if you do it long enough, you will be that person.
Project confidence. Pretend confidence. And pretty soon you’ll be confident.
Really? Can it be that easy? Isn’t that sort of like brain-washing?
Erm, yes. I think it may really be that simple. I wouldn’t have bet that my nerves were conquerable, but I would’ve been wrong.
Are you an introvert? How do you manage stage fright? Please feel free to share any tips you may have in comments.
Therese Walsh (she/her) co-founded Writer Unboxed in 2006 and is the site’s editorial director. She was the editor of WU’s only book, Author in Progress, and runs the Writer Unboxed UnConference.
Her second novel, The Moon Sisters, received starred reviews and was named one of the best books of the year by Library Journal and Book Riot.
Learn more about Therese on her website, and sign up for her newsletter to be among the first to hear about any new projects.
I have no problem with public speaking as long as it’s on a subject I know. I’ve given tons of impromptu briefings and such, and I teach adults in a classroom environment. As long as you know your shit, so to speak, you should be fine. Now, karaoke? I need a few drinks first!
.-= simply scott´s last blog ..my Urban Dictionary entry — sexually sophisticated =-.
One thing that helped was a professor who talked about public speaking. He said that if you don’t speak in front of people (when necessary) you’re being selfish. You have something to give, something to say that is worth hearing & being so shy you’re unwilling to share it is selfish. I didn’t like that at first, because the fear is very real. But over time, I’ve started to learn the truth behind what he said. I do have to be very well prepared before I speak in front of people (and prepared to change gears & talk about something other than what I planned, in order to give them what they need).
I am a total introvert. I hate, hate, hate to speak in public. My profession calls for me to speak in front of people not often but enough to make me ill.
Most often I only speak in front of groupd of 5 or more if they can be scheduled other than that I do my best to stay out of the public eye!
Simply Scott and Kimj, I think you’re both on to something. I had to get over a mental hump to believe I had something to say worth hearing.
Abigail, has it become any easier with time? What was your best experience?
It sounds like what all my college friends and I used to say about our first jobs – Fake it ’til you make it!
.-= Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist´s last blog ..A case of the Mondays =-.
Therese, I can testify to your smooth, confident presentation at The Muse and The Marketplace! And it was just the beginning….
Wow, I can’t imagine Maggie Stiefvater as a “shrinking violet” based on what I’ve seen on YouTube, hehehe.
Anyhoot, usually I just remind myself that everyone there is human. We make mistakes and we get embarrassed, but we also want to like each other. And no one expects perfection, so just be yourself. :)
.-= Kristan´s last blog ..Scenes from a weekend =-.
You are a great public speaker, Therese! And for the record, I had no idea you were nervous as hell at first. So faking it first worked!
Great points both in the post and the comments.
It really helps to be talking about something you really, really know about (your own stories, your area of expertise).
Also, these videos are full of great tips for improving your technique:
https://talkaboutspeaking.com/video/
.-= Julie´s last blog ..admin posted an update: On Writing About Loss – and other ‘exhausted’ topics, by short story writer Robin Black. Some […] =-.
Hi Therese,
It sounds like you are doing a good job using your opportunities to ramp up your speaking experience. I talk about this–the only way to learn is through experience–approach in “Get Known Before the Book Deal.”
I’ve never been professionally trained as a speaker, but I’ve done a heck of a lot of public speaking, mostly workshops at writing events.
The thing about putting yourself out there over and over again even when you are nervous and uncomfortable is that you improve despite yourself.
Even though I was critiqued fairly harshly by a professionally trained speaker after one of my presentations, an attendee from the conference wrote to me after and said she thought I was one of the best speakers she heard all weekend.
This is kind of my point. Not that by speaking over and over you become on par with a professionally trained speaker, but that by practicing you become comfortable addressing your audience in the way they want and need to be addressed. And once you become comfortable, you will enjoy the process a lot more…and so will your audience. :)
Yeah, what Maggie said. That’s exactly what I had to do to teach (to some students who were older, and surely wiser, than me) and to lead a writing workshop. Also, it helps if you’re talking about something you enjoy and are passionate about. I think this might be difficult with your own novel because it’s just so personal. I can’t wait to have that experience, though, one day!
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..Just Say Yes =-.
Hi Therese,
I’m shy and dyslexic.
In elementary school I would pray that the teacher wouldn’t call on my to read.
Years upon years have past I’ve matured and now I enjoy (mostly) reading (especially reading what I have written) in public.
What helps…
-practicing
-thinking about my audience not about me
-knowing that public speaking will help my career
-resque remedy — a herbal anti-anxiety treatment
-not forcing myself to ad lib
-looking for a friendly face in the crowd (or not looking at the crowd)
-visualization — “I’m in my happy place”
-remembering past successes
-trusting in my abilities
I still have a slightly nauseating fear of public speaking, but it’s not nearly as bad as when I was younger. I used to take F’s on my assignments in high school rather than give an oral presentation or speech. Seriously. Lucky for me, though, I did well enough in the other areas to off-set the bad grades.
As an adult, it’s still difficult, but my work in retail management helped me get over it somewhat, as I was forced to take the lead in sales meetings multiple times per week, and give orientations to groups of new employees, and train people, and BS my way through a District Manager’s unexpected visit. I did that for two solid years, preceded by two solid years of supervisor work, and there are certain tricks I learned to keeping your poise. It’s not something you soon forget… Kind of like riding a bike. Once you learn to keep your balance, even if you haven’t ridden for a while, it doesn’t take long to get back into the groove.
.-= Lydia Sharp´s last blog ..Tuesday Tunes – Music To Write By =-.
Almost forgot to mention…
I have my mother to thank as well for helping me “get over” my shyness. If you’re wondering why, check out my guest post tomorrow (Wed. 5/12) on Christi Corbett’s blog, here:
https://christicorbett.wordpress.com/
It’s titled “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”, and yes, it’s writing-related. Promise. :)
.-= Lydia Sharp´s last blog ..Tuesday Tunes – Music To Write By =-.
I’ve taken two public speaking classes, but that was awhile ago. I do speak in front of my local chapter, and even that was hard at first. But like you, I did it anyway and now I’m much better. And I think knowing I have something helpful or interesting (I hope!) to say is a help.
I used to do lots of public speaking, and I got seriously nervous every time. My face turned red every time. It still does. At some point, every time, I tell myself, “For God’s sake, get over it,” and I’m generally able to focus on what I’m supposed to be saying. Good thing, because I’ve got something coming up in a few weeks . . .
And Therese, I can also testify to your great presentation at the Muse. I had no idea you were uncomfortable! It was a great session.
Getting over fear of speaking is like getting over fear of showing others your writing. At a certain point, if you want to achieve your goals, you’ve just got to do it–even if it makes you nauseous!
.-= Tracy Hahn-Burkett´s last blog ..The Letter I Wrote This Mother’s Day =-.
I’ve been a teacher. I’ve been a tour guide. I’ve been on TV. I’ve been onstage acting, singing, and playing an instrument since I was a kid. You would think I’d be used to crowds by now.
Every single time I get up to speak in public, I’m still terrified. The more it matters, the more scared I am.
But like Therese and Maggie say, if you project confidence, the audience doesn’t know what your feelings are on the inside. So even if I’m shaking up until the moment I get behind the podium, if I take deep breaths and square my shoulders and give the whole crowd a great big smile, I settle down enough to get through.
(And I wear clothes that don’t show sweat, heh.)
.-= Jael´s last blog ..souped up: a garnish tip =-.
I agree with that “be the person you want to be”. I’ve been in retail a lot of years, and after growing up shy, I never would have guessed I’d enjoy talking to people and selling things. But it’s like taking on a different persona, so it worked.
And I can’t WAIT to give talks about my books one day. I love the thought of people coming to hear what *I* have to say and laugh at my jokes! What a wonderful experience that’s going to be! :)
.-= Donna Cummings´s last blog ..Ode to a Bookmark =-.
i tutor third graders in reading and i like to give them opportunities to do public readings to their peers. it is amazing how supportive their classmates are, because they all feel similar doing that. but their beautiful faces shine with happiness when they are finished and we all clap and say good things about their efforts. My own best speeches have been off the cuff, really! When I didn’t have time to develop any anxiety. But I can’t say I haven’t had sweat rings down to my waistband when they’re prepared speeches!!
Such great comments! Thanks, everyone.
Thanks, Sharon, Kath and Tracy, for the votes of confidence. Much appreciated.
Julie, wonderful videos. Thanks for sharing here.
Christina said, “…by practicing you become comfortable addressing your audience in the way they want and need to be addressed.” This taps into something else worth mentioning. It’s really important to make eye contact with your group, so that you know what’s working and what isn’t, and so you can make adjustments to your presentation over time. After a while you’ll develop “go to” phrases you know will probably get a laugh, that sort of thing, and that’s comforting in and of itself.
Leanne, thanks for sharing your tips. A big one for me has become “finding a friendly face (or three) in the crowd.” I end up sweeping the room during a presentation but going back to a few people more often than anyone — the attentive people who wear their feelings on their sleeves. I hope for nodding heads and know to better explain something if I see furrowed brows.
Lydia, we’ll check out that post — thanks!
Jael, me too–been a teacher, a singer, an actress, been on TV. All of those things came with nerves, too, but nothing like public-speaking nerves.
Donna, you’ll love the book talks. One of the best things about being published, I promise.
Thea, I think that’s a good point — reading a prepared speech might be more nervous-making than delivering a speech with note cards in hand while interacting with a group. The latter gives you the chance to be *you*, I think, which probably helps with nerves.
I’m very introverted but often have had to speak publicly. It really does help if you are passionate about the subject matter. It helps you feel more confident.
I find it helps to list points to hit in your speech than to write out the entire thing. If you write it out, you spend far too much time looking down, which makes you more nervous, and you end up worrying more over missing one word than engaging the audience. Bullet points free you a bit more.
.-= Kristin Laughtin´s last blog ..Literary Orange, Part III (of III): Hosting the Panel, and What Writers Can Take Away from Listening to Those Who Have Already Made It =-.
Two things that have nothing at all to do with each other when I give a seminar:
1. I know at least a tiny bit more than anyone else in the audience about my subject. Therefore I am the expert.
2. I get into that other persona, the extroverted actress. She smiles, makes jokes, brings shy participants out so they can ask their questions, gives out lots of helpful tips. Then, later after the show (and it really is a show) and everyone has left, the real me comes out. But it takes an hour or so to settle down. But while I’m up front, that other persona performs.
I was a school teacher before I was a writer, so I’ve had a lot of practice speaking in front of an audience–even though my past audiences were usually in the tooth fairy stage. In spite of age differences between my classes and current book clubs and organizations, I’ve realized in all situations that my level of preparation determines how well my talk goes.
I try to be as organized and prepared as possible to get the best results.
I hope I attend one of your talks someday!
.-= Erika Robuck´s last blog ..Interview: Robin Black =-.
I have to second Erika’s post about teaching – I’ve found that teaching four semesters of undergraduates has made it much, much easier for me to speak in public. Strangely, for me it’s a lot easier to speak to a group about a random topic than it is to work with a smaller group trying to plan something. I think part of it is the audience – if the audience is attentive, then it’s much easier to explain what you need to explain. Teaching, though, requires you to think on your feet. When students ask questions and make comments, you get that added bit of “oh, they’re waiting for me to respond!” It’s stressful, but Therese, I’m with you – once you take time acting confident, you become confident.
That said, I have found a great deal of truth to a phrase I learned in the army: “Competence Builds Confidence.” At a certain point, I think you work hard and you enjoy the banter of talking before a group, and then you realize that you really are an expert in your field. Or at least in creative writing…(it always helps that we can make things up, and it’s still a part of our jobs…)
Jael,
I totally hear you. I played violin through most of my childhood, as a soloist, in a quartet, and in an orchestra. When you get nervous, you’re hands shake, and that’s the last thing you want when you play a stringed instrument.
I also was a theater actress in high school (which was what originally introduced me to screenwriting). And even with all that “performance experience” I still had major issues with giving a speech from behind a podium. Go figure.
.-= Lydia Sharp´s last blog ..Tuesday Tunes – Music To Write By =-.
Teri,
I have been to a few of your public speaking events and you are beautifully articulate. No one would have guessed you had sweaty palms or were shaking in your shoes. You projected confidence right from the start, which is why we all love listening to you! I look forward to seeing you again soon! ;)
Great tips about bullet points, bringing out the actress in you, and being well prepared; thanks, Kristin, asdfg, and Erika. Also agree with Ryan that the audience brings something critical to the table. I’ve had super attentive, engaged audiences and one really weird meeting in a loud locale when everyone was distracted. It makes a difference.
Thanks, Cathy!
So happy you found a way to triumph. Learning to speak in public was the most difficult thing I had to do as a writer. It took a solid decade before I could do it at all, much less without shaking.
It’s hard to remember when I turned the corner, but one day I was about to give a talk at a conference and realized I was looking forward to it. Shocking! Thrilling!
.-= Barbara Samuel O’Neal´s last blog ..Book club picture =-.
It really is that easy. I am constantly telling my staff that if they’re not sure about something, just sound confident because nobody will question that. We can always mop up the messes later if they were wrong…
Oh and I should have added that I have to do a lot of staff training in my day job, often in groups of up to a dozen but occasionally in front of up to 100. I used to get horribly nervous but now I just make sure I’m well prepared and I know exactly what I’m going to say. And really, if you sound confident, it pretty much will never be questioned!