Gut Check
By Kathleen Bolton | February 15, 2010 |
The signs were not good.
Oh, I had a plan. In December, I’d outlined the whole book from beginning to end. Made sure I’d figured out the plot holes in advance. Had a killer resolution in mind. The plan was solid.
I knew I was getting into trouble around mid-January when my page counts began to dwindle. I pressed on despite the doubts creeping in. Things would jell soon, I told myself. First drafts are always crappy. Blah de blah. Press on.
I did. I kept pecking away. But then the characters stopped talking. Just clammed right the eff up.
I forced them to talk. Sometimes I had luck if I flaffled around with some dialogue that I knew would end up getting cut during revisions, but the goal was to get the logjam to clear so the characters could come alive again. Wasn’t happening this time.
I woke up earlier than usual yesterday with the thought already in my head before I even became fully awake: scrap it. This one ain’t gonna happen. Start again.
And lord, did I fight the notion for about a day. As a writer, I was used to doubts. But as soon as I allowed myself to entertain the possibility of an alternative plan, the paralysis ebbed. The characters, long silent, began to come out and play. By the end of the day, they were meandering through the skeleton of a plot, one that showed a lot more potential.
I think I’m going to be all right. Sometimes you have to go backwards before you can go forwards, and listen to your writer’s intuition, even if it’s telling you things you don’t want to hear.
Have you had a similar experience? Did you fight it or give in? What was the result?
Image by jvg246.
Kathleen Bolton is co-founder of Writer Unboxed. She writes under a variety of pseudonyms, including Ani Bolton.
She has written two novels as Cassidy Calloway: Confessions of a First Daughter, and Secrets of a First Daughter–both books in a YA series about the misadventures of the U.S. President’s teen-aged daughter, published by HarperCollins, and Tamara Blake, for the novel Slumber.
I’ve had this experience plenty of times. It’s always as you described, Kath — the writing hours are like torture, the characters’ dialog and interaction are forced. Something is definitely wrong. Usually I’m not so lucky as to come upon a solution in a day, though; it takes several days, sometimes a week or more, to figure out what needs to be changed. Definitely time well spent, because after that I’m back on track. I’m glad you are, too!
Great post. :) I went through this exact scenario not too long ago when I went back and tried to resurrect a novel I’d started a long time ago. It took me a lot longer than a day to work through the morass, but I think I’m on the other side of it all now. I’m glad it all worked out for you.
Oh yes. I think writers encounter this type of hurdle more often than they publicly admit.
.-= Lydia Sharp´s last blog ..A Symphony of Kisses =-.
Sure. I slogged through the first draft of my novel. I began revising it and about 1/3 of the way through it I stopped reading. The second draft was pretty much a first draft of a whole new story. But it’s better and, more importantly, something I like and something I can actually revise. Thanks for the post!
.-= Jonathan´s last blog ..Books on Writing =-.
I’ve had that happen multiple times. I think in a way it’s a prompt to make the story more interesting or to add more layering, but I don’t think it’s grounds for a complete restart. Not by itself, anyway.
.-= Scott Marlowe´s last blog ..Publishing’s Big 6: Who are they? =-.
I try to slog through it… In one case, it turned into an awful first draft that I’m going to chuck and rewrite from scratch. In another case, it resulted in an even better few chapters than I expected, and led up to a really spectacular finale!
.-= Kristan´s last blog ..Getting lost in a good book =-.
(I wrote a post that seems to have vanished…)
I haven’t written enough books to have faced this yet, but I know it’s inevitable.
Good luck facing down your new skeleton.
.-= Melanie´s last blog ..Another Day at the Beach =-.
I encountered this very problem a couple years ago and scrapped a novel that I was nearly 75 handwritten pages into. I started from scratch and wound up with a new novel that I’m very proud of and have entered into the Amazon Breakthrough Novel of the Year Award contest. Sometimes you have to have the guts to toss what came before and start over. Do it fearlessly.
Loved this post, Kathleen. Paralysis doesn’t often get me, but when it does…I set it aside and let it stew. I was in the middle of a novel when a couple of voices came to me that I didn’t recognize. I got side-tracked for about two weeks and just wrote what came. My writing group, I think, thought I was crazy. I finally set it aside and got back on track with my original work. Now having finished that, I’ve started something new…and interestingly? That crazy character is becoming a part of the new work. I love the way you describe the absolute frustration of it all though, makes me feel like I’m a) not nuts and b) not alone…which in reality, is vital when you walk around hearing voices inside your head! Thanks for the post! I’m new to Writer Unboxed, but will be back often for sure!
.-= Gael Lynch´s last blog ..Blue Skies and Letting Go =-.
Lately I’ve resorted to using a voice recorder on my smartphone to dictate problems out loud. Speaking the issues is liberating and I often find solutions literally as I’m voicing my concerns. It is incredibly therapeutic.
Is it bad that I am pleased that so many others have faced this tragedy? I am writing my first novel and two months into it, I had to kill it! I thought I was a failure. That I didn’t have what it takes. I’m so glad to know I am normal!
(And the second attempt is going far smoother than the first.)
.-= Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist´s last blog ..Kill the Critic! =-.
Aww, thanks everyone. It used to be that I’d plow on hoping against hope that everything would work out because there were usually some good work buried among the dreck that I hated to lose. Now I know that it saves time in the end to start afresh. This profession is both art and commerce, and sometimes the artist part needs to take precedence over the need to get something out on the market to sell.
But gaaahhh, it’s painful knowing I’ve flailed around for two months on something that’s not going to work. Ugh.
Oh, absolutely!
These days, whenever I feel “blocked”, I know it can only mean one thing: the story tries to get through to me because I’m forcing it in the wrong direction. Normally, it’s something to do with a character’s motivation or a wrong POV, but can be wrong plot moves, too.
So I know perfectly well what you mean!!! And this is a very inspiring post, thank you so much for it!
.-= Irene´s last blog ..Some medieval Cyrillic fonts! =-.
Luckily, that has not happened to me yet, but I’ve only written two unpublished manuscripts to date. I can definitely see it happening to someone writing for a deadline. It must be an awful feeling to confront.
.-= DL Hammons´s last blog ..Love At First Sight Blogfest =-.
Oh, definitely give in, though I always fight it first. If I’m struggling to much with a scene/chapter whatever, I know I need to cut it altogether. Books are kind of like potato salad–when they start to have that vague smell that tells you they’ve gone bad, all you can do is throw them in the trash and start again.
Anyway, good luck, Kathleen! You’ll get there!
I haven’t had this experience yet but since I plan on starting my first novel this year, this post might help when I get stuck.
I’m glad you seem to be getting through it Kathleen.
.-= Saba´s last blog ..Where Story Ideas Come From =-.
I don’t outline, so that specific problem never happened to me. I have gotten blocked up and usually it’s because I’m heading in the wrong direction. My last novel I forced myself to finish the book, and two weeks later I suddenly realized what the whole damn thing was about and rewrote a lot.
Life sometimes gets in the way. I was trying to write a big, multiplot book, work full- and overtime, had a daughter and her family living with me, and many other responsibilities–and got seriously derailed on the novel. Put it away, wrote something easier to manage (one viewpoint character), and when life calmed down I took the other novel out and finished the first draft in 10 weeks.
.-= Valerie´s last blog ..Ladle It On! =-.
That happened to me recently with a short story I was working on; it was almost the story that would not die (and wouldn’t get to the point etc.) so I started again from scratch and it’s going much more smoothly now. The first draft is still going to be rocky, though, and will need a good polish but at least there’ll be something *to* polish rather than the pile of pants it was turning into.
Great post, thanks!
Merry =^..^=
.-= Merry´s last blog ..Lergy iz not fun for me =-.
Excellent post and so target it hurt! :)
I find it hard to let go even when in my gut I KNOW it’s not working. I keep trying to push through when maybe the right answer is to cut my losses and move on.
Reading through the replies, I think you hit a hot button with this post.
.-= Cynthia D’Alba´s last blog ..Oh Woe is Me..Peer Pressure Snow =-.
Forgive me my chuckle, but on Feb. 15 — exactly — I blogged about being completely stuck. Interesting about the synchronicity.
In my case, I’ve been fighting the same scene for two months now. I know there’s something wrong with the middle, and my gut says it’s pretty fundamental, too. (It’s a nuance about how my heroine reacts to a turning point, and I feel like if I don’t nail this, I’m short-changing her in everything else by not understanding her.)
What seems to have helped is a technique Barbara Samuel teaches, which is to write a letter to a character and ask questions of him/her. Fingers crossed what I’ve learned will be enough.
Anyway, from everything I’ve read about the creative process, learning to listen to one’s gut can make these dark times shorter and less severe.
.-= hope101´s last blog ..TartStretch – a Gift from my Brother to You =-.