What Happens to an Unboxed Query?
By Ray Rhamey | February 21, 2008 |
On Monday I wrote on my blog, Flogging the Quill, about beginning an effort to expose ideas for dealing with gun violence. The ideas are in a novel of mine, We the Enemy. I’ve been trying to market it for years, and had a literary agent who pitched it all over hell and half of Georgia. No luck.
But all the pitches were about the story, the plot, the characters, the genre. I’ve kept mum about the underpinnings that make it more than a good suspense read—it’s a novel of ideas.
Woven into We the Enemy is innovative thinking about the right to bear arms, and what to do about lethal weapons, the ones that a madman used to slaughter young people at Northern Illinois University. If those thoughts can spark new debate and ideas about how to solve the problem, then I HAVE to get it out there. God knows our progressive politicians are too scared to even talk about it.
It’s free
First, I’m offering a free PDF of the novel. Just e-mail me and give me your name: wetheenemy at live dot com.
Unboxed queries to agents
I e-mailed 11 literary agents who have read my writing, liked it, and with whom I’ve had some correspondence. But it was not an ordinary query. For one thing, it began with this:
Because of the tragic shootings at Northern Illinois University, I’m going to take a chance on breaking a couple of querying rules. I know what the rules are, but this is important. You know me a little, and have found my writing to be professional. I’m angry, I’m sad, and there’s something we can do, you and I.
Okay, so I think it’s pretty clear that this is not your normal query, and that maybe I know what I’m doing. Here’s the next part:
I have a novel that takes on our country’s problems with lethal firearms in a prescriptive, thought-stimulating way. I’m writing to you because I think it can actually be of service above and beyond its entertainment value.
This is not about getting me published. It’s about doing something for all of us. I’m going to give away an e-version of this book, but finding a publisher for it will multiply its impact.
You are an agent of books. Maybe you can be an agent of change, too.
I urge you (or an assistant) to read the manuscript for my novel, We the Enemy because an ordinary query, or synopsis, or even the first few chapters won’t tell you what you need to know.
Are we clear so far? An ordinary query, or synopsis, or chapters will NOT tell them what they need to know about this book.
So one agent responded with this:
“Before submitting to other agents I would suggest you do more research on how to write a proper query letter. I’ve written a great deal about this on my own blog and you’ll also be able to find information on writing message boards and through writing organizations and groups.
“A strong query letter, one with a strong pitch for your book can make all the difference in getting a request or getting a rejection. As you’ve written it here, your query doesn’t give an agent enough information to make a really informed decision.”
Ah, well.
Some agents don’t read
Okay, how could someone have read what I spelled out write a response like that? Someone who didn’t get it.
Now, this is a smart and good agent. Or maybe it’s the smart and good agent’s assistant. Whoever it is, they’re skimming e-mail queries focused on a very few triggers, the standard elements of a query such as genre, plot, characters, etc. If those few paltry switches aren’t thrown, they issue a boilerplate lecture on proper query writing—the in-the-box kind, don’t you know, ‘cause there isn’t anything outside the box. If there were, then it can’t be worthwhile because it’s, well, outside the box. So I’ve run into numb indifference. Trudge, trudge.
And some do.
But a second agent got it. She wrote that she was going on jury duty but to e-mail her assistant and she’d have him read it. Ah, a human being. The assistant now has a Word doc of the full and it’s his assignment to read it.
And then some got it, but couldn’t do it.
Three agents returned nice notes but declined. One was repping a non-fiction book in the area of gun control (the novel ranges far wider than that), and didn’t feel it would work for him, seeing as how “issue” books are tough. A couple of others expressed sympathy for the cause, but it was not good timing for them. That’s okay.
Six to go.
I’m serious about this
I’m doing everything I can think of to either give this book away or get it published. I hope you’ll help in some way—at least read the book, if you have time. Spread the word. E-mail me at wetheenemy at live dot com.
I’ve written to a small-press publisher with a similar unboxed pitch. He’s out of the office until the 25th.
I happened to read an article about a senior at the university where I work who was a member of the Students for Concealed Carry on Campus, a 15,000-strong association of college kids who want the right to carry weapons. I e-mailed him and asked if he’d read it, and he agreed. Y’see, part of the novel is about a way to arm those of us (all of us?) who need to defend ourselves in this dangerous world. Who knows where that will lead?
I’m not sure this post has a point. Maybe it’s about how some of us are so engulfed with the trudge of life that we can’t see a unique opportunity. And I’m teaching myself a lesson about carpe diem—after years of working and hoping to contribute by conventional means, I’m seizing the day and jumping out of the box.
Can’t hurt, right?
Best,
Ray
Ray Rhamey is the author of five novels and one writing craft book, Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling. He’s also an editor of book-length fiction and designs book covers and interiors for Indie authors and small presses. His website, crrreative.com, offers an a la carte menu of creative services for writers and publishers. Learn more about Ray’s books at rayrhamey.com.
A cause is good, Ray, but a zealous approach scares people away. I unsubscribed from your blog after you posted your novel plea.
Think about it. If you want something down NOW then going through an agent to find a publisher to get published in a year and a half doesn’t seem like the right choice.
Shouldn’t you be targetting periodicals, (municipal and university) newspapers, and other forums that encourage a more timely effect.
Because, from my point of view, this just seems like a new way to flog the quill. It’s not like authors haven’t used sensationalism before.
It’s a free book. Why unsubscribe to his blog because of that, Dave? If Ray wants to give it away with the hope that it might start a dialogue, why is that ‘sensationalism’? Maybe the project will die. Maybe it’ll go viral. The point is, Ray is doing something he believes in with the intention of helping. Why is that scary?
The unintentionally funny aspect of this is the robotic query reply by the agent (who apparently has their own blog too–the new media has become the old). Obviously, that agent can only deal with cookie-cutter queries.
Dave.
Let me get this straight–because I believe I can contribute somehow to dealing with the lethal weapon problem, and that the key to that is in a novel of mine (not non-fiction articles), and I’ve been trying through conventional publishing paths for well over 5 years to get it out there (BTW, most readers really enjoy the novel side, too), you are accusing me of sensationalism and then sign off my blog.
You’re welcome to sign off. I don’t feel that, in my three years of blogging (all the time working to market this novel), that I’ve displayed a lack of integrity such as that.
In addition, before the most recent crisis, I was (and am still) engaged in getting proposals for the book to agents and publishers.
As for a year and a half before a book can come out, publishers can put out a book in weeks if they want to. And do you somehow think this problem is not going to still exist, and still be current in a year or two?
I resent the charge of sensationalism, and it is not true. If I wanted to be that way, I could have done the same thing at the time of the Virginia Tech shooting. I held my breath then, but this put me over the edge.
As I said in my appeal to agents, this is not about me getting published. In fact, if anyone takes me up on this, I will not accept an advance, but would ask that the funds be put toward promotion.
And I’m giving it away.
I’m trying to help. What are you doing?
Shouldn’t you be targetting periodicals, (municipal and university) newspapers, and other forums that encourage a more timely effect.
This doesn’t seem like a bad idea, honestly. Maybe this is something you can do to supplement your other efforts, Ray? In any case, I completely support your right to offer your story–for free–to the masses, and to speak about your passions on FtQ and WU and anywhere else you care to. Yours is a story with a message, and it’s frustrating for you to have that message gathering e-dust in your Word folder on your harddrive. I get that.
Best of luck getting your story out!
Relevant to the point of the post… Did you catch the CNN headline this afternoon? “Utah students hide guns, head to class.” Click HERE.
Hi Ray,
My hat’s off to you for taking a stand on something you strongly believe in and in trying to make people aware of a significant problem.
As for the book, maybe you can POD publish it – Borders just teamed up with Lulu to offer POD publishing and editing to anyone with $499. They also agree to place copies in their stores.
To take it a step further, perhaps you can go on speaking engagements at schools and organizations and offer your book for cost or direct the audience to your website to download the PDF for free. Just some ideas off the top of my head.
Lots of luck.
Hey Ray,
Did you ever see a Carol Burnett bit (yes, Carol Burnett, give it a chance) set in the future, somewhere, U.S.A. and everyone, I mean EVERYONE had guns? So just going to the store to buy a loaf a bread had Carol arming herself to the teeth.
I’ve thought about that skit often in light of recent events. Especially since I have two college kids and one to soon join their ranks. Heck yeah, it’s an important issue and I applaud your efforts to get your book and discussion of the escalating gun violence phenomenon out there. So get yourself and your book on Facebook and network like crazy. Maybe try the Amazon Shorts program? Good luck.
Ray,
First, I thought comments were moderated.
Second, I appologize. I didn’t mean to say you were sensationalizing. Obviously, I should have edited more.
My first point was that you shouldn’t be a surprise that you might deter agents because of the perception of sensationalizing and the can’t-you-see-how-important-this-is approach.
My second point was that if it was really important to you, then other media would probably be better suited to getting your view known than a book.
Anyway, sorry. I wasn’t lurking. But the manner in which you are pushing you book out sends up red flags for me. It causes me to assume a diatribe not a dialogue (however biased that assumption might be).
Dave,
I have not lightly entered into this enterprise. I’ve been working on this project for over 8 years.
Careful thought was given to the other kinds of outlets that you suggest. Without reading the book that you have prejudged, you might not understand that such an approach, in my view, will not get the job done. While you may think that other media would be better suited than a book, unless you have some knowledge of the scope and nature of what I propose, you have no way to understand how inadequate media other than a book are.
Ideas just put out there in a nonfiction way are intellectual in nature, abstract. My feeling is that what I propose needs to also be “felt” in order to be thought about in a truly understanding, comprehensive way.
So I wrote a novel and wove the ideas in so that people can try them on for size. The book deals with other social ills than guns. It’s not a simple-minded, in-your-face, didactic diatribe. And the novel is a good, solid suspense read without paying attention to the ideas.
It’s unfortunate that your particular filters caused you to react in such a way. As for the agents, I only contacted those who “know” me to some extent. Eleven of them. I did not flood 100 agents with a sensational, can’t-you-see-how-important-this-is approach.
You assume a diatribe, not a dialogue. You are wrong. If you want dialogue, you might have tried having one with me before posting your accusations and assumptions. You might have downloaded the PDF of the novel and read a few pages. You might have emailed me with your thoughts.
Many, many, many writers have written to me to thank me for the contributions I make to their work on Flogging the Quill (which you will no longer be reading). I do not charge for this. (Interestingly, since I added a donate button about a month ago, generous writers have given almost $300.) I contribute to their professional development in my own modest way.
I cannot see why someone who does that should automatically be seen to be exploiting an issue with a diatribe. If you’ve read my blog to any degree, I don’t think you’ll see a hint of that kind of personality.
Here’s a thought to leave you with: you get what you give.
Ray,
I applaud your passion for your book and its message. I also appreciate your desire to give it away, and I’m sure you have, or are, exploring venues to getting the book out there.
Your query letter, however, needs to be tightened up. It reads like a protracted advertisement rather than a pitch.
Assuming that a query will get all of 30 seconds viewing, I suggest you try stating the premise or message of the book in the first paragraph, perhaps as bullet points or in the form of an open ended question.
Either way, give the agents a reason to ask for the manuscript.
Thank you for sharing your efforts to get this book published,
-suzanne.
sorry, my last comment included an URL that no longer links to my blog….this one works.
Suzanne, thanks for your thought. Ordinarily, I’d agree with you–you would approve of the previous query letters for this book.
But there are a couple of factors that I think make this a better approach than the traditional.
1. I had some kind of relationship with these agents, some more than others. Several had read a couple of examples of my work and, based on the strengths they saw, have been open to dialogue now and then. One has even recommended me to three other agents.
2. Actually, the query is self-screening–I don’t want an agent to ask for the manuscript for customary reasons because I don’t think that the story side of it will be perceived as sufficiently commercial. I want an agent who is interested in a work of fiction that has a different level of depth, and who have sympathy with the cause.
I don’t need to hire an agent, I need to *enlist* one.
Hey, one agent did ask for it, and the others won’t be wasting my postage or their time. I have a chance, and that’s what the letter was supposed to get me.
Best, Ray
Hey there, Ray –
I’ll take a look at your query and the first fifty pages if you want to submit to me as a Word doc to to the email above.
Best,
Colleen
ray, without downloading your book, i’m not really sure if you are for or against carrying personal weapons. and i think that might be what is missing from your query letter. human nature being what it is, most people are lazy and unless they have a personal interest, won’t bite. so tell them right up front where you stand and why they’d want to be with you on this deal. also, you might want to consider enlisting the aid of a big name, like tom clancy or stephen king (their writing has a lot of voice when it comes to weapons and violence) – getting that kind of support would really help your cause, especially since it is not commercially inspired. anyway, i like what you are trying to accomplish so go for it. and if you’re going for it, go big.
Thea, you raise an interesting point. In the query letter, I do talk about “problems with lethal firearms,” and I mention the terrible shootings in Illinois, so one might assume that I’m against them. But I don’t specifically say so.
But it’s not that simple, in life or in my book. To get lethal weapons out of our lives, which I’m for, we still have to deal with the millions of people who believe in a right to bear arms for defense and sport. And I see a clear need for self-defense against attackers, rapists, etc., especially for women.
Well, my book deals with all of the aspects of the problem, including carrying personal weapons for self-defense. Hey, read the book and tell me what you think.
Thanks again.
i will read your book – will download when i get home since i’m out of town using another computer.